First of all… I'm so sorry for the long. I've been dealing with many things in my life and ran out of time even to enter in the internet. =/ But here it is Chapter 8 and I really hope you like it. Thanks for being reading and Trendy my friend, girl you rock! No more talking!
Jill is laid on the bed. Thoughts of her entire life cross her mind, memories… chased memories. It has been three weeks since Chris had gone in a mission. The first days were the most suffocating ones, but now… his absence was her company. She didn't miss him anymore.
They've been together for about 12 years. She thought it would last forever. Fate had another thing in hand. After so many on and offs, they have got to a point that "trying" wasn't working anymore. Promises… broken promises. But it didn't matter anymore, now she had to ponder on things more important and she knew her time was about to end. One day Chris would have to know the truth. At thinking of it made her sick. She hoped she could have a way to find out without so much pain and stress. She wished she could know the exact date of her conception.
She couldn't hold it to herself anymore. She needed to come clean with the two men of her life, but one of them may understand better than the other and when she thought about Chris possible reaction, she heard a click on the door. She went to see it.
- Hey! Jill greeted Chris happily
- Hey! He replied not in a happy tone as Jill's
- What's wrong? Aren't you happy to see me again after so long? She replied in shock
- This is not the first time we've been through this… he replied sharply and gave his back throwing his bag on the floor.
Jill got speechless with his demeanor and she was very confused about it. She didn't know what to say or react. She just watched him move around the place… memories came again…she remembered that there was a time they were happy to see each other after missions… but she also remembered how he had left, only leaving a note, but at least he still cared about the baby since he had written "love you both"… but coming back to the present his cold demeanor broke her in the inside.
She is already 10 weeks pregnant and a small protuberance already shows on her stomach… still resembling fat… but for someone that always had a flat stomach it's "big" already.
So she placed her hand over her belly and took a deep breath and sat on the couch. Chris headed to the bathroom for a shower.
After the shocking moment Jill started reasoning again and she knew something wasn't right with Chris. She knew him long enough to know what he was feeling or bothered, so she waited for him to come back.
Jill lifted from the couch and went to the fridge to get something to eat and when she was doing it, Chris cell phone vibrated on the counter. She took a look at the screen and she couldn't believe her eyes that she even let the juice bottle fall on the floor. And in the same minute Chris appeared on the corridor only covered by his towel and looked surprised.
The few seconds they had eye contact was enough for each one read their minds. Tears filled Jill's eyes and Chris looked down and held him back with his arm on the wall next to him.
- This isn't what you're thinking! Chris was finally able to talk
- Pfff, here we go again with your babble… Jill was skeptical
- So you remember what happened last time I said it… Chris replied calmly
- I don't want to remember it… Jill replied without thinking since she remembered what happened and the only memory that crossed her mind was Leon's figure
- That isn't so bad for not to want to remember it… I thought we had come to a point after it… cleared things out.
- Yes it is… and NO we haven't come to any point of it! She shouted
- Ok… but I can explain it now and I tell you that this isn't any of what you're thinking. Chris controlled his emotions as he had noticed Jill holding her belly
- Whatever Chris… it was sharp response
- Damn it Jill… what is happening to us? Aren't you ever listening to me anymore? What is going on with you? Chris protested
- Wish I had your answers Chris… wished I had…
- So let's figure it out Jill! But I can't be in this situation anymore. You barely talk to me, you barely touch me, you barely… Chris shouted
- You're never home! I came to see you today and what did you do? "This isn't the first time we've been through this…"… remember it? She replied back
- You got me wrong. But I admit it, I was pissed since you haven't replied back my messages on your phone!
- What messages? Jill was surprised
- If you had your phone turned on you would see it! He smirked
- It's turned on! She replied
- No, it isn't! Check it!
- Ok… whatever… so what? Is it reason enough for you to treat me like that? after a brief moment she remembered she had turned off her cell phone to keep her willing to call Leon or receive anything coming from him
- Jill, it's been more than a week that I'm trying to contact you! You're never home and cell phone turned off…I was already worried… I even had to call Kennedy to have info about your whereabouts since Claire is travelling too!
- Whatever Chris, still though it's not reason enough for you to treat me like!
- I know, but I'm telling you what happened to me these days and once again I was pissed when I arrived and it's because f this call you saw. But once again, you're not talking to me… you're not telling me anything… you're only excusing and blaming me and my actions…but what about you?
- I'm not blaming you… I was only surprised about your coldness, but I was waiting for you to finish your bath so we could talk! I know you long enough to realize when you're not alright or pissed about something…
- Yeah, right… but I can't tell the same. I don't know you anymore… there was a sadness in Chris's eyes saying that
- I'm sorry… it won't happen again! Let's try it again, ok? She gave up the fight and came closer to him
- Ok… he tried a smile, but it wasn't possible
They stood there for a moment looking at each other, but the moment was cut with his cell phone vibrating again. Jill bit her lips and Chris answered it.
- Hey Kennedy! Chris spoke
Jill's spine shivered and her legs trembled and her mouth opened. For sure her eyes had widened too, but at least Chris hadn't seen it. To hide her composure, Jill went to the bedroom to check her cell phone, but she wanted to know what they were talking, but this time she had to struggle her curiosity.
Taking her cell phone on the bedside table, she turned it on and saw the many messages and calls she had received. There were Chris's, Barry's, Carlos's, Claire's and of course Leon's.
It has been two months and a half since Chris had returned from his last long mission. He and Jill still have their ups and downs, but it has been more downs than ups. Jill's belly already shows up, but they still don't know the baby's sex.
Chris finds himself in a dilemma. Work on Jill or give it up. Things between them resemble more the end than a continuation. His mind screams at him, but his heart smashes though. He finds more focused on the pregnancy itself than in the relationship and apparently so does Jill. However there is another influence between them… his ex, Sarah.
- I think you should think about it after the trip. You shouldn't do anything by impulse. Sarah said as she walked towards Chris whose was sitting at his office
- It's been very hard for me to handle it. She's got a delicate pregnancy and I don't want to mess it up, so I prefer to hold it until things get more appropriated. Chris placed his hand over his chin
- I think you've been holding it for too long… Sarah passed her hand over his shoulder
- It's almost 12 years Sarah. It's not that easy!
- We were half of it and still you just dropped it.
- It wasn't easy as well…
- I know… the hardest part of ending is starting again…but I'm sure you can do that. But do it for the right reasons. If you quit it... do it right… if you don't… keep it right. Raising a child can be done even being apart. The most important is you to keep a healthy relationship… whatever it is.
- I know… thanks for listening to my babble. Chris took her hand in his. They shared a smile.
They could read their eyes and there was an old fire in it, they knew how they felt, but now it wasn't their moment, so Chris turned his face in another direction.
- I have to go now. Do you need anything else? Sarah picked her purse
- No, thanks. You've been doing a lot already. See you tomorrow? Chris followed her until the door, but didn't open it
- Just give me a call. They faced again as she noticed the door still closed. Then "that" look that only them knew what it meant and felt happened and they didn't resist anymore. Their lips touched softly as if asking for permission. They moved their lips simultaneously in a tender kiss that was getting hotter when they started setting it free, but something came to Chris's mind and he broke the kiss.
They didn't face anymore. Chris opened the door.
- I'm sorry… We can't! There was sorrow in his tone
- That's ok. I know! There was shame on her tone
- Maybe I won't call you until I solve my life… he was apologetic
- I think it's the best for us! She agreed
- I'm sorry! He said as she left
Chris sat on the chair which Sarah was sitting before. He could still feel her presence. He looked at the window and it was already night. The sky clean and full of stars. He watched it as his mind was filled with memories of Sarah. He remembered their happy moments and that she barely became his wife when they were together, but he also remembered how he ended their relationship with their wedding date already set. He let a hard breath come out of his chest.
He touched his lips, caressing them and smiled remembering their brief kiss. Kissing her was sweeter than he remembered. Years have passed, but it seemed like not between them. It seemed like when they had their last happy moment before the break up. He felt like having it again and again. However this glitter moment was shadowed when Jill came to his mind and also the pregnancy. He felt a stroke in his chest. He never thought he would feel like that for her.
They seemed to have the most perfect relationship on Earth. What was going on now? Why all that beautiful moments were gone? Why being with her felt like a torture… well, at the man/woman relationship… why? What happened to them?
His question would have to wait for its answers at the right time. Now what he had to do was come back home and act like nothing happened and try to enjoy their shattering relationship. He got his car keys and left home.
Jill was in front the mirror after taking shower. She was dressed on her robe, but couldn't resist the feeling of watching her belly getting bigger. She couldn't help it, but every time she smiled and felt great about it. The sensation was much better than the so called "stomach butterflies" when you're in love, it was stronger and true.
She caressed and talked to herself.
- Are you a boy or a girl? They say boys come out faster and the format of the belly is a bit different of the girls… you're coming out fast! Well, but it doesn't mean you're a boy since I used to have a flat stomach before, so any more fat would make a difference! She laughed to herself… Whatever you are, it doesn't matter. You will be welcomed and loved the same way. Mommy just wants you to be healthy and strong! She felt like in heaven
The night sky was beautiful and Jill went to the porch to admire it. She sat on the chair and felt the fresh soft wind on her skin. It felt amazing. She looked at the stars and wandered in her thoughts. Tomorrow would be a big day, she couldn't wait for it anymore and apparently neither her baby. It moved inside of her as she thought of the big day. She enjoined the sensation until she heard Chris's voice at the porch door.
- I thought you weren't home since you didn't come to see me.
- I was here counting the stars with my baby. She said smiling
- Yeah, tonight is really beautiful. How's the baby?
- He is enjoying it too!
- He? Chris said surprised/confused
- Well… he or she… whatever. It's just a manner of speaking.
- I know. I'm just playing with you. He said and entered the room
- Is that something wrong with you? Jill followed him
- Why do you ask? He replied without looking back
- I can see it.
- No need to get worried, I'm fine… I'm just pissed that I can't go with you tomorrow…
- Why? Somehow Jill didn't feel so disappointed as she might had to, but there was a bit of sadness for sure
- Work… I just got a message to go to the Chief's office at the time you have the consult. He wants to talk to me about something that I'll only know tomorrow. He spoke sadly
- Oh… I can reschedule it…
- No! You don't have to do it; I know how much you are expecting for this moment…
- Well… I thought of rescheduling it for later so you could go with me…
- Jill, I don't know how my day is going to be tomorrow. I'm very excited to know it too. I want to know to buy the right colors for it and also to pick the design for the bedroom…
- We still have time for it…
- I know, but I want everything to be perfect for it. He stepped closer to her
- The baby might have the legs closed…
- And it will kill us with curiosity even more! He said laughing
- Well… so that's it… you go on your meeting and I'll go my appointment…
- C'mon, you're making me feel like I'm not interested on it. But I am! It's not that I don't want to go with you and know it at the time, much more the opposite. I don't want to wait anymore and tomorrow is the big day! I feel terrible for not being able to go too! He tried to comfort her
- I know it's not your fault! I understand that… but if you don't want me to change it, that's ok, you will know anyway. Cell phones are for it right? She said in frustration not that much with him not to be able to go with her, but with him never being together anymore in the general things.
- What do I have to do to make you feel better about it? I will talk to the Chief to allow me to go with you, I promise!
- If you make it, I will be happy about it, but if he doesn't allow you, don't bother, I'll understand, ok? I know it's not your fault, believe me! She gave him a smile and went to the kitchen
***
Chris took a deep sign and went to take a shower.
Jill was heating her milk when she heard her cell phone vibrating on the counter. She read the message:
"Is it tomorrow?"
She replied back answering it.
***
Chris felt the water falling on his body. He was frustrated for not being able to go to the consult with Jill, but he was also very confused about his own feelings. He needed to decide things. He finished his shower and took a look at his cell phone over the cabinet and read the message he received… He smiled.
Chris left the bathroom in the same time Jill entered the bedroom and both got the glimpse of their smiling faces. They laid on the bed and slept.
Well, that was it for now. I hope you liked it. See ya next time!
