Chapter 8:
Chapter 8: Breathe
Disclaimer: I do not own Gossip Girl or any of its characters.
Thanks to Tatiana!
A/N: Thanks for the reviews on the last chapter!
And I give you just a little time
I, wonder if you realize
I've been waiting till I see it in your eyes
If I just breathe
Let it fill the space between
I'll know everything is alright
Breathe
Every little piece of me
You'll see
Everything is alright
If I just breathe
Breathe
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Reality:
"Blair! Blair, stop!" Serena called after a distraught Blair. "You can talk to me."
Blair turned around to face her. Tears were falling from her eyes, and her face was a little red as she explained, "We ended it."
I said it. Finally. Breathe.
"I wanted to tell you, but then part of me thought that if I didn't say it aloud, that it wouldn't be true."
It's really true now.
Serena wiped a tear from her best friend's face and pulled her in for a much needed hug.
Blair's crying persisted. "It was my birthday wish for us to get back together."
She pulled away as she continued. "Now I think it's really over."
Nate and I, we were never supposed to be over. We were going to get married and have it all. Not anymore… At least not tonight.
"Is it okay if I just want to be alone for a second?" She didn't even finish speaking before hiding herself in a secluded room.
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Movie:
Blair was pacing up on the roof, waiting.
He's being forced to do this. You deserve better Blair. And he'll miss you when you're gone. He just doesn't know what he has right now.
Her phone buzzed and lit up and she rushed to answer it. "Hello," she cooed.
"Happy Birthday, Blair!" It was Nate's voice on the other line.
Blair felt relieved he called but knew what she had to do. "Thanks, Nate." She smiled to herself. "So how are things with your parents?"
"What does that have to do with anything right now?" He said, keeping his voice casual. "Tonight is about us."
"It has everything to do with us, especially if you only want to get back together with me because your father is forcing your hand."
She waited for his response. She could hear him breathing heavily through the phone.
"I'm sorry, Blair."
"Yeah, me too," she said, defeated. "But we're so over."
"Blair-"
She cut him off. "I gotta go and get back to my party. Bye." She mumbled and hung up. A few tears stung the corners ofher eyes, but she composed herself.
You don't want someone who doesn't want you. He'll come to his senses. Just breathe.
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Reality:
Blair sat up as she saw a figure entered the room. She snapped, "I'm not in the mood, Chuck. This is pretty much the worst birthday ever."
"Maybe it can be salvaged."
She glanced at the box and remarked, "What is that, our sex tape?"
Chuck opened the box, and Blair's eyes widened.
Chuck did not get me that. You don't buy diamond necklaces for one night stands.
Shock filled her voice as she softly whispered, "It's the Erikson Beaman necklace."
Chuck took the necklace from its container and went to place it on its new owner. Blair muttered, "No, I couldn't."
He reassured her, saying, "Yes, you can."
Heput the necklace on her; she bowed her head for him. He touched her delicately as he placed the necklace, making sure everything was perfect.
Breathe.
She caught her reflection in the mirror, and saw her own eyes were glassy, but she didn't feel sad.
"Something this beautiful deserves to be seen on something worthy of its beauty."
Beautiful.
Blair wouldn't normally describe herself as that, but in that moment she felt pretty.
She moved her head to feel the necklace, to make sure it had allactually happened. Chuck looked to her, sincerity ringing in his voice as he said, "I really am sorry."
Chuck apologized?
Blair wasn't expecting that, but forgot what she was thinking as he once again touched the necklace.
His hand brushed against her, and she felt a rush in her stomach. He softly took hold of her hand, brushing his lips on her shoulder. Her whole left side felt warm at his touch.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Blair's voice was thick from lack of use as she said, "This is so weird." Chuck shrugged, urging her to explain further. "I am so not used to waking up with you next to me." She put on a tone of disgust as she spoke.
"I'm sure it's the lack of clothes that confuses you. But, trust me, I really prefer it that way," he bit back.
"And here I thought you just enjoyed my company."
"I do," Chuck replied earnestly. He stared intensely at Blair before amending his statement. "But as a general rule, I really feel the less clothes, the better."
He was smirking now, and Blair wanted to smack him but resisted the urge, wrapping the sheet tighter around her body instead.
They didn't talk for a few minutes, and Blair let her thoughts wander. She needed to figure out how to handle this situation, since he obviously just wasn't going to leave her alone.
Now that her relationship with Nate seemed to be at an end, this didn't have to end.
Then she opened her eyes and saw Chuck looking back at her. That seemed the hardest part to grasp. That it was Chuck Bass, with all that his name implied, looking back at her. He was a boozing womanizer, who now also was the only man she'd ever slept with. Blair couldn't see herself involved with him. And yet here she was.
Her stomach felt all wrong. She needed to get out of here. Now.
Carefully, Blair leaned over and picked up her dress and undergarments off the floor. She had to stretch to reach them all, but eventually managed to capture them.
Not wanting to show Chuck anymore of her body then she already had, she tried to throw her clothes on from under the sheet. It was a bit tricky, but Blair finally got her dress on.
Chuck laughed at how ridiculous she looked. "Don't have to be so shy. You certainly weren't last night."
Blair felt the urge to slap him again, and this time she didn't fight it. Her hand left a red imprint on his face.
"What the hell was that for?" He roared. He sat up rapidly as he spoke.
"I don't even know what I'm still doing here!" She said as she tried to get up and leave.
He sprinted around to her side, grabbing her arm.
He spoke in a low voice into her hair. "You're not gonna just skip out on me. . ."
Blair jerked away and turned to face him. She pushed him away, and he kept his distance, wanting to avoid any more physical injury.
"Why not? It shouldn't bother you, you scheming man whore!" Blair yelled.
Chuck laughed harshly, "You and me happen to share that first habit. You ruined Serena and helped me give Carter Baizen what was coming to him."
"Well, you never told me how that went, so I assumed you never followed through." She glared at him, momentarily side-tracked by the possibility of a juicy story.
"Everything worked perfectly. I invited him for a drink, and the little punk showed. I told him I thought it was best to clear the air and offered my sincerest apologies in the form of Melinda. You should have seen his face when he ran out of the back of the bar, ass out, yelling like a girl." Chuck grin grew winder as he went through his story before he deadpanned, "He didn't seem too thrilled with what Melinda was sporting in 'her' pants."
Bair's tone was lighter as she said, "You pulled it off." Her face hinted at a bit of admiration.
Chuck, feeling it was safe, walked over to her as he asked, "Impressed?"
She was a little, but Chuck didn't need to know that information. Her eyes fluttered a few times because he was entirely too close. She wouldn't let him get to her again.
I will my self to walk away right now.
But she stayed grounded where she was, enjoying the feeling of his eyes on her. She finally answered, "Of course not." And Chuck kissed her.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Blair found herself once again devoid of clothing, and lying next to Chuck Bass.
It was becoming routine for her, actually, and she didn't particularly like that thought.
It scared her.
Why didn't she just walk away? Why in the world did she find herself attracted to him?
Blair wasn't sure, and that was another scary thing. Not knowing something meant Blair couldn't control anything about it.
The only answer she had was that he made her feel good at the time.
Blair rolled over instinctively and found her head on Chuck's chest. She would have flinched away, but he put his arm around her.
So she lay there with him, and Chuck held her. This felt good, too. She even had a peaceful smile on her lips.
Maybe she didn't need to go anywhere. She wasn't doing anything wrong.
She finally decided she deserved to feel good if she wanted to.
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Chuck eyed Blair as she put on her heels, buttoning the last button on his shirt as he did.
It was too quiet, so he smirked, "Let's do this again sometime." And he meant what he said.
Blair took a deep breath and then uttered, "Okay."
Chuck's face betrayed his shock, but he covered it up with a sincere smile.
"I'll give you a ride home," he offered.
"Fine, but just a ride this time," she countered.
He gestured with his hands towards the door. "Whatever you say, Waldorf."
