Emily had done as JJ had asked, and for the next two weeks JJ had done everything she could to avoid her, part of her felt as though she was reliving the last memories of AJ when she found her in her bedroom. Somewhere of the times, they had laughed and joked around. Nevertheless, AJ's death had begun to feel as though it happened yesterday and they were just waiting to lay her to rest.

Nightmares of that fateful day seemed to plague her and even through everything she was feeling the only thing she wanted was Emily, but her pride and pain over took her needs, it emanated through her body screaming for release. Part of her had always wanted to meet Emily, the one person whom had brought so much happiness to her sisters life, but now she was confused and in pain.

Garcia had even started to become concerned as she would take in the vacant look on her roommate, she would try and talk hoping that the blonde would open up to her yet nothing would come out nothing but silent tears and the showers which seemed to last for hours at a time. In all JJ had withdrawn from herself, and from the people she had wanted to become friends with, the pain was ruling her.


I can't help but watch her, keeping my eye on her from a safe distance I know I shouldn't, she asked for space which I have been all too willing to give, but I can see she is struggling and part of me wonders if it is anything to do with the bombshell that I happened to drop on her. However, I can see other things at play as she runs around the track as though she is not in fact training, but as though she is running from an invisible form.

A part of her so desperately wants to escape, and I know that feeling all too well I have been there before trying to out run the parts of my life which haunt me, family, my so called friends, what happened when I was 15. Part of me thinks that she knows that, maybe she has read all those letters that I sent. That is if AJ kept them though I feel she did because I know I kept everyone of hers, my one connection to her, so I knew she was safe and alive.

Though inside she is alive, she lives in me. I guess that is what happens when someone touches your heart and soul, though the question I have been asking myself is just how much time do I give her it has been two weeks and she hasn't even looked at me, maybe I have blown it. Maybe I should not have said anything; maybe it is too much for her to process. But there again it is not as though someone has written a book on this stating how I should deal and how much time is enough time. Is she waiting for me to approach her or shall I continue to wait for her?

The thing is I think I could spend my whole life waiting for her, her blonde hair shines when the sun hits it, she is perfection to me and I miss her, for some strange reason I miss her and yet I do not know her. How is that even possible? To miss someone you do not know? I can still smell her in my home, which is a strange feeling to be able to smell someone whom has not been around since she slammed my door. I have all these questions, but yet still all I can do is sit here and watch her hoping she will come to me and talk to me, even if is just to scream at me.


I cast one last glance over her running form before I start to head back to my home, there isn't much I can do if she doesn't want to come, doesn't want to speak to me, I thought it may have brought her some comfort knowing she isn't alone, she doesn't have to go through this alone, I know the pain I feel inside and I can only imagine hers is ten times worse. There is only so long you can run for before you have to face it, you have to deal with what is set out before you. I sit here the warmth of the cup against my hands as I stare blankly through the window, it is a peaceful calm the one stillness that stops things spinning even more, the slight soft knocking on my front door pulls me from my thoughts as I place my cup down, walking slowly towards the door, I open the door and my eyes fall straight on her, I smile softly as I motion her to come inside, not a word is said as she makes her way inside as I close the door behind me and follow her in.

I watch her for a moment as I pick my coffee cup up waiting for her to speak to just say something, I move to stand in front of the window just looking out into the darkness in some sort of hope that if she can't see my face she will be able to talk.

JJ was also watching Emily as she turned her back to her staring out of her window, JJ began the internal debate inside herself as she stood up walking over towards her, her hand slightly hesitant as she reach out towards her. Emily could not help her eyes closing as JJ's hand rested on her arm. "Thank you for telling me" JJ whispered her hand keeping in its place on Emily's arm.

A long heavy sigh seemed to leave her body as JJ whispered the words to her, and all Emily could do was nod, as she rested her own hand on JJ's. Emily closed her eyes slightly as she turned around to look at JJ. The tears glistened against the light in her soulful blue eyes; Emily could not help but rest her hand against her cheek her fingers softly running over her skin as she let a soft smile ghost her lips as she spoke.

"No need to thank me," Emily's fingers continued to ghost over her cheek as JJ wrapped her arms around her.

Emily swallowed audibly as their eyes seemed to lock together, as though words were being spoken without a sound flying between them or leaving their lips. Emily broke the contact averting her eyes finding the wall a better place to look as she removed her hand away for JJ's cheek. JJ wished she could see what laid beneath those dark chocolate eyes, which seemed to have a cast-iron wall in front of them hiding her from view or allowing anyone close enough to break through the steal fortress she had made for herself.

"Emily" JJ said softly, her voice with a slight caution in it that did not go unnoticed by Emily, swallowing hard again her gaze fell on to JJ.

"Yes" she hushed out not really sure why but the urge she now had inside her made her want to run for the hills, as far away from this place. Her body screamed as blue eyes bored into her, the gaze its self was soft but all Emily wanted to do was flee. This was strange considering she was the one who had reached out to JJ. And now she was the one wanting to run.

"You two are so different, how come you stayed in touch with AJ?" Emily could not help the soft smile that ghost across her lips the smile lighting her eyes as JJ watch with an amused look on her face.

"You're right we are two completely different people"

JJ rolled her eyes slightly "That wasn't an answer."

Emily chuckled, "You want to know why we stayed in touch?" JJ nodded. "She never judged me," Emily said simply as though it explained everything, as though that one statement should tell JJ everything she needed to know and then more.

"JJ, she meant and still means a great deal to me and I know she does to you as well, she was and is someone I trusted and trust with my life, I can't explain it" Emily said as she turned away.

JJ could see the shine covering the dark orbs her heart went out to Emily. Even JJ could tell Emily was not one to share her emotions, "Sorry"

Emily just shook her head, "Don't be, we just clicked, we understood each other I can't explain it any better than that." Emily said, her voice slightly deflated as though just saying though few words had hit the wind straight out of her.

JJ nodded her smile sad as she spoke "Will I see you tomorrow?" JJ asked, Emily just nodded unable to find the right words to say until JJ's hand rested on the door handle. "Stay" was all Emily said.

That one word stopped JJ in her tracks as she turned around looking at Emily, whose arms were now wrapped around her waist as though she was trying to protect herself and JJ for the life of her couldn't understand what, why this strong and normally so sure person seemed to be like a wild horse stood in a sty ready to bolt at the sound of the gun being fired. JJ looked at her for a moment before she nodded.