DISCLAIMER: I OWN NEITHER HARRY POTTER NOR FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST!

Chapter Eight

Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, Winry, and Ginny appeared, all clutching heavy packages of books.

"Everyone all right?" Mrs. Weasley asked. "Got your robes? Right, then, we can pop in at the Apothecary and Eeylops on the way to Fred and George's - stick close, now…"

Neither Harry nor Ron bought any ingredients at the Apothecary, seeing that they were no longer studying Potions, even though Ed tried to tell them that they needed ingredients.

"Why would we need them?" Ron had asked as they all looked around at the Eeylops Owl Emporium. "Harry and I didn't get the necessary scores for it."

Ed shrugged as he got a box of owl nuts for Owl.

"Your careers," Ed shrugged off.

"Is there something you aren't telling us?" Harry asked.

The Weasleys, Hagrid, Harry, Hermione, Al, and Winry looked at Ed. Mr. and Mrs. Weasley looked at each other nervously as did Al and Winry. Ed shrugged again.

"No, just sayin'," Ed lied. "Even if I did, I wouldn't tell you."

The adults sighed with relief; Ed grinned at them. Afterwards, with Mrs. Weasley checking her watch every minute or so, they headed farther along the street in search of Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes, the joke shop run by Fred and George.

"We really haven't got too long," Mrs. Weasley said. "So we'll just have a quick look around and then back to the car. We must be close, that's number ninety-two…ninety-four…"

"Whoa," Ron breathed, stopping in his tracks.

Set against the dull, poster-muffled shop fronts around them, Fred and George's windows hit the eye like a firework display. Casual passersby were looking back over their shoulders at the windows, and a few rather stunned-looking people had actually come to a halt, transfixed. The left-hand window was dazzlingly full of an assortment of goods that revolved, popped, flashed, bounced, and shrieked. The right-hand window was covered with a gigantic poster, purple like those of the Ministry, but emblazoned with flashing yellow letters.

WHY ARE YOU WORRYING ABOUT

YOU-KNOW-WHO?

YOU SHOULD BE WORRYING ABOUT

U-NO-POO –

THE CONSTIPATION SENSATION

THAT'S GRIPPING THE NATION!

Ed, Al, Harry, and Ron burst out laughing as Mrs. Weasley moaned beside them, gazing, dumbfounded, at the poster. Her lips moved silently, mouthing the name "U-No-Poo."

"They'll be murdered in their beds!" Mrs. Weasley whispered.

"No they won't!" Ron disagreed. "This is brilliant!"

"I'll say!" Ed laughed.

Winry scowled and rolled her eyes. They all walked into the shop. It was packed with customers; no one could get near the shelves. There were boxes that piled to the ceiling: Here were the Skiving Snackboxes that the twins had perfected during their last, unfinished year at Hogwarts; the Nosebleed Nougat was the most popular, with only one battered box left on the shelf.

There were bins full of trick wands, the cheapest merely turning into rubber chickens or pairs of briefs when waved, the most expensive beating the unwary user around the head and neck, and boxes of quills, which came in Self-Inking, Spell-Checking, and Smart-Answer varieties. A space cleared in the crowd, and Ed, Al, and Harry had pushed their way toward the counter, where a gaggle of delighted ten-year-olds was watching a tiny little wooden man slowly ascending the steps to a real set of gallows, both perched on a box that read: REUSABLE HANGMAN - SPELL IT OR HE'LL SWING!

"'Patented Daydream Charms…'" Hermione read.

Hermione and Winry had managed to squeeze through a large display near the counter. Hermione was reading the information on the back of a box bearing a highly colored picture of a handsome youth and swooning girl who were standing on the deck of a pirate ship.

" 'One simple incantation and you will enter a top-quality, highly realistic, thirty-minute daydream, easy to fit into the average school lesson and virtually undetectable (side effects include vacant expression and minor drooling). Not for sale to under-sixteens.' You know," Hermione read, looking up at Ed, Al, Harry, and Winry, "that really is extraordinary magic!"

"I told you they have extraordinary magic," Winry said.

"For that, Hermione," said a voice behind them, "you can have that one for free. You can have one too, Winry."

A beaming Fred stood before them, wearing a set of magenta robes that clashed magnificently with his flaming hair.

"How are you, Harry, Ed, Al, Winry?" Fred asked, shaking each person's hand. "And what's happened to your eye, Hermione?"

"Your and Edward's punching telescope," Hermione answered ruefully, glaring at Ed for a moment.

"Oh blimey, I forgot about those!" Fred remembered. "Here -"

He pulled a tub out of his pocket and handed it to her, she unscrewed it gingerly to reveal a thick yellow paste.

"Just dab it on, that bruises' be gone within the hour," Fred instructed. "We had to find a decent bruise remover. We're testing most of our products on ourselves."

He looked at Ed.

"Don't you have a tub of the stuff?" Fred asked.

"Yeah, but I forgot about it since Mrs. Weasley banned me from testing the stuff," Ed replied. "She thought Winry was beating me up."

"Come on, Harry, I'll give you the tour," Fred offered. "Ed, do you want to come along?"

"Nah, I'll look around later," Ed wove off.

Harry went with Fred for the tour.

"Ed, you should go with them," Winry urged. "The money was half yours."

Ed shrugged.

"It's okay," Ed brushed off, putting an arm around Winry's waist and pulling her close to him. "But what we can do is go to the Leaky Cauldron," Ed grinned at Winry, "you know, to rent a room for a few minutes."

"Edward!" Winry hissed, blushing. "What about the Weasleys, Harry, Hermione, and Al?"

"Al will cover for us, so they'll never know," Ed continued in a husky tone.

Hermione scowled and went to look somewhere else, disgusted at Ed and Winry's lewd behavior. Al blushed deeply, not being able to tune out his brother's conversation with Winry.

"Hey, Al," Ed said. "Will you -?"

"Go on," Al interrupted. "But be quick about it."

"Don't worry, Alphonse, you'll find yourself a girl right for you," Ed grinned, winking.

"BROTHER!" Al hissed, blushing.

Ed then pulled Winry by the hand, both sneaking out past Mr. and Mrs. Weasley and Hagrid. They were able to get to the Leaky Cauldron without being noticed by anyone. Ed and Winry went into the Leaky Cauldron and went to the bar where Tom was.

"Can I help you?" Tom asked hopefully.

"Yeah, let us use a room for a few minutes," Ed answered, putting ten Galleons on the bar. "We didn't sleep well last night, and we need a quick nap. Just between us?"

"Yes, sir," Tom replied. "Room two is free."

"Thanks," Ed said.

Then he and Winry went to room two, shutting and locking the door behind them. Back at the Weasley twins' shop, Al was looking around at stuff with Ginny.

"Where's Edward and Winry?" Ginny asked.

"Fresh air," Al replied.

Ginny rose an eyebrow.

"They're at the Leaky Cauldron," Al revised.

"Thought so," Ginny muttered. "And they asked you to cover for them?"

Al nodded.

"I'm sorry about Cho, Alphonse," Ginny apologized.

"Don't worry about it," Al shrugged off. "I should've expected her to be angry with me."

"It's not your fault that you wanted your brother to be alive," Ginny pointed out. "I would do the same for my brothers. She's just being a cow."

Al nodded.

"Don't worry, you'll find someone," Ginny reassured.

"Thank you, Ginny," Al mumbled.

Ginny pat Al on the shoulder and left to go look at the girls' section of the joke shop. A few minutes later, Al saw Harry, Ron, and Hermione leave the joke shop under the Invisibility Cloak. Ed and Winry came back into the shop and were, unfortunately, spotted by Mrs. Weasley. They were scolded for leaving without telling anyone.

"Where did you go anyway?" Mrs. Weasley demanded.

"We went to look around Diagon Alley, Mrs. Weasley," Winry lied.

"Why?" Mrs. Weasley asked.

"Because we wanted to see if there were any places that had wedding stuff," Ed lied, "to shop around for. You know, to get ready ahead of time."

"You do know that it would make Fleur upset if you shopped without her, do you?" Mrs. Weasley pointed out.

"Yeah, and that's why we only window-shopped," Ed pointed out. "But we didn't see anything to our liking."

"All right, dears," Mrs. Weasley conceded. "Do you know where Harry, Ron, and Hermione went to, Alphonse? I can't seem to find them."

"Sorry, Mrs. Weasley, I don't," Al lied. "They're around here somewhere."

When Harry, Ron, and Hermione came back ten minutes later, they told Mr. and Mrs. Weasley that they were in the back room.