Chapter Eight: Wilson's Disease

(Disclaimer: Shore owns House. I own OC #1. :D)

House wandered into the pediatrics wing with a McDonald's bag in hand and sat at a little table with an equally little girl. He started to eat his overly salted fries, occasionally sharing and stealing from other kids when he felt someone's eyes on him; eyes that were neither friendly or belonging to children.

"Excuse me…?" The voice that spoke to him was sweet but authoritative. He turned in his small seat to glance up at a pretty and very confused looking nurse with a big balloon in hand.

"You're excused." He nodded, turning back to his food. The nurse rolled her eyes and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"What are you doing here?"

"I'm obviously eating, ebony."

"Wooow." She laughed. "Do you always make racial slurs to people you've just met, Dr. House?"

"Only when they know who I am." He popped a fry in his mouth. "Which you obviously did, because you work here, and I'm famous here. Much like a god."

"More like the devil." She sighed softly and sat down with him, tying her balloon off on her chair, "What are you doing here?"

"Eating. Duh." He glared at her as she reached in and grabbed a fry. "Hey, you wouldn't happen to know of some nurse… she's new…"

"No, I know no nurses. None. Especially new ones."

"Oh shut up." He rolled his eyes and continued. "You must be new. And stupid. You're stealing my fries for God's sake."

The little girl still seated at the table gasped and looked at House with wide eyes.

"What?"

"My mommy says you shouldn't say God unless you're praying or being nice about Him."

"Forgive me, small child, for I have sinned." He popped a fry in her hand. "Now be quiet."

The girl sat quietly, upset but happy with the amount of French fries she was receiving.

House quickly rolled up his bag, locking away any remaining fries from the bold nurse's hands. "Know anyone around here named Sally or Stephanie or something outrageous like that?"

The nurse smiled and leaned back in the tiny chair that she occupied. "Yes."

"Point her out for me, would you?"

"Yeah sure." She sat quietly in front of House, starring smugly at him.

"Well, point! I haven't got all… ok, I do. But still, show me."

"I'm Stephanie, House. James said you'd probably come down here after awhile, and to treat you like you'd treat me."

House's jaw nearly hit the floor. "You… You're dating Wilson?"

"Yes." She pauses and stares at him momentarily. "Is that going to be problem?"

"Maybe." He replied getting to his feet quickly. "Excuse me please, for my legs don't move as fast as my quick wit, and right now it is taking every once of self control that I have not to mock Wilson."

"You're a jerk."

"Oh this is going to be awesome!" House exclaimed, turning and walking as quickly as he could towards the elevators.

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"Wilson!" House burst into Wilson's office, an amused look on his face. "What the hell?"

Wilson blinked up at him, shock and confusion written all over his face.

"Guess where I just was." House smugly sat down in front of Wilson's desk, twirling his cane with one hand.

"Ummm... Cuddy's house. I can only assume that's why she was late this morning."

"Wrong. On both counts. She was at my place. I forgot to change my alarm. Oh well. BUT! That's not the point."

"I can only assume you're going to tell me what the point is because I am very busy and have a patient coming in ten minutes."

"Well then I have ten minutes for you to guess."

Wilson looked at him impatiently, his amused glare steadily becoming a more real one, "I don't have time for this right now, House. So tell me whatever it is you feel the need to gloat in my face about."

"Oh fine, party pooper. I went to McDonald's this morning." As though to prove the truth to this statement he pulled out the french fries and tossed them on Wilson's desk. "And THEN I went to pediatrics cause cuddy never looks there."

Slightly distracted by the fast food bag tossed on his desk, it took Wilson a few seconds to register what House had just said. When he finally put it all together, he slowly looked up into House's eyes, "Oh?"

"Mhmmmm. And this really, really hot nurse came up to me and asked why the hell I was there. She was totally into me, by the way, but who wouldn't be. I told her I was hiding and I figured since I was there I should ask around for Suzy."

"Stephanie."

"Whatever. And she was like, Oh yeah. I'm Stephanie." He blinks at Wilson. "Had I had any idea that you had jungle fever I would have set you up with Foreman. But now he has Thirteen and you can't have two bisexuals in the same relationship. How ridiculous would that be?"

Wilson leaned back in his seat, smirking at his friend before him. "Is that all?"

"IS THAT ALL?! You have broken the chain of normal, needy, not black women and you ask, "Is that all?"!"

He nodded, "Basically."

House stared at him, his face blank. "So... When's the wedding?"

His confident smirk went away, replaced by a scowl, "That's not funny, House."

House smirked at his friend's fallen face. "I think it is."

"I don't marry every woman I date."

"Right, right... There were like... two that you had in college right? Didn't they turn out to be guys?"

Wilson then proceeded to give him the deepest glare he could muster, "Get out of my office, Greg."

He looked thoughtful, "Or is it that they're guys now...."

"Out," he pointed with his pen.

"You're less fun than Cuddy." House scowled, rising to his feet. "Yeah. I said it."

"I would be less fun. I don't have sex with you."

"Thank God. I'll leave that to Jungle Bunny." He smirked and made his way to the door, "By the way, she was totally checking me out. Keep an eye on her, I'm difficult to resist and she's decently attractive."

Wilson's look of malice didn't let up, "I think she was more likely eyeing the ketchup stain on your shirt."

House almost looked down before returning Wilson's glare, "Funny." With that he made his way out of Wilson's office, still a bit baffled.

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A/N: And thus thus thus… You meet Steph! :D