Reapings yay! glazing over this bit cause we all know it am i right?


"There comes a time when you look into the mirror and you realize that what you see is all that you will ever be. And then you accept it. Or you kill yourself. Or you stop looking in mirrors."

― Tennessee Williams

As the years passed, my body began to grow and the past no longer suffocated me, it came in waves but mostly it was domate. Though as my sixteenth year grew closer and as Prim signed up for tessera, the nightmares returned. Her name would be called, I would try to volunteer but my voice was weak, and they took her away from me, as she was dragged away screaming my name her body began to burn. This is when I would wake up screaming.

She could not die, she needed to live, to be Prim, sweet, pure Prim she could not enter those games. I knew I would volunteer, but if victory put her in imminent danger, winning them was no longer an option. My death would ensure her survival, the Capitol would continue to poison District 13, the rebels would grow weaker and Prim would live. Was it right though? I knew that my life was not worth the death of so many others, though Prim's? I could not cause her death, I couldn't cause her harm either, the path previously taken could not be taken again.

Still, it was obnoxious of me to assume I had any input in the victor of the games, to survive you needed luck and sponsors, but sponsors brought attention, and from experience, one small change will change everything. By not following on with this star crossed lovers act, which I knew I could not do again, things would be different in the game, the dynamics will change and that takes away the advantage of any previous knowledge. This thinking comes from experience.

When the day of the Reaping came around, I didn't sleep, Buttercup growled but ignored the disturbance on the bed as I slid out of it, careful not to wake the other inhabitants in the room. The cat disliked me from day one, that much was obvious, though the fact I didn't try to drown him upon first contact left our relationship somewhat more bearable, he at the entrails of my and slept at the base of the bed without hissing at the sight of me. The memories of this cat that refused to die, coming back to district 12 softened me slightly, though I held no love for him myself. I dress, eating the cheese Prim has given me with the familiar pang of recognition hitting me, this was the day it would all end.

The sun has just began to rise as I leave the house and an try to take it all in. My heart is beating so fast know, trying to live a life time in a day, this would be the last time I see this district. It was my home, and the realisation hit me that although it was broken and beaten to within an inch of its life, the inhabitants starving and scared but still it was mine. It was real.

The air was cleaner as I reached the forest and I took a moment to observe the district behind me, trying to burn it into my mind. Breathing carefully I entered the forest and began to relax. Embracing death was not an easy thing to do, it required a certain amount of understanding and yet at the same time ignorance. You have to consider certain aspects of it and ignore the other parts that go against the primal need for survival. I wasn't completely sure if I could do that though.

I reach the clearing and nod my head towards Gale, who smiled a little awkwardly in turn. He had warmed to me, his distrust slowly turning into confusion, I couldn't look him in the eye for extended periods of time. Some memories run too deep. Silently I motion towards the lake and he lets out a grunt, signaling what I'm trying to say.

I savor the moment, being in the forest is freeing, it gives me a sense of peace almost, I allow the thoughts of the future to be forgotten and absorb natures beauty, it reminds me of Prim almost. As the sun begins to rise I head to the rock where I left Gale, picking at the berries I collected, though hunger wasn't my biggest concern at the moment. He notices my anxiousness, and opens his mouth to speak but snaps it shut at my glare.

I breathe deeply and look at him, he is strong and familiar but the pain is still present at the very sight of him, though time has lulled it down to a dull, thudding ache.

"The deal is still on right?" I say, he nods his head and I breathe a little easier. I suggested it to him last games, that if one of us goes in the other will help the other family out whilst we are in the games in case... well it was more of a fact really.

"Just some meat every now and again and fish when there is spare, Prim knows the plants around here better than I do." My voice cannot help but grow soft at the mention of her, I see him relax at my softened expression and I feel myself go a little numb.

It was strange, the lack of Gales friendship helped at times but strangely hurt at others, it was for the best in the end though, I don't know how I would of handled it otherwise. The original deal that we be hunting buddies during the winter continued on now for nearly five years, his presence was one I grew to accept, ignoring the parody it was on the past.

As the day continues on and We head back to trade I accept what Old Sae offers and ignore as the wrinkles around her face deepen at the look she gives me. I am losing control at the moment, but composer is difficult to maintain.

Time begins to fly by as dread begins to fill me, I bathe until the water grows mucky when I return. I allow my mother to braid my hair and accept the dress she gives me gratefully. As Prim declares my beauty I look at the cracked mirror on the wall, an expression of amusement towards her words is on my face. I try no to look into mirrors to much, avoid reflections when I can, but still at the moment I can see the differences in my appearance. Not being on the brink of starvation for extended periods of time allowed my body to grow taller, fill out in places it should of long ago. My face was a little fuller, and by being less gaunt my mothers features where more prominent.

I was not beautiful, I was a murderer, but the reflection showed a relatively normal girl staring back with dark hair and grey eyes. I smile at her, a rare thing only Prim gets to see as I take her hand. Her unease makes me feel worried but the truth was that I would die before she entered the games. This statement was not a lie.

We line up in our age groups, like cattle sent to slaughter. People stare at me, whispering and trying not to get caught staring. I stand out on the basis that while they fear I am relaxed, my mild panic attack from the night before seems to have taken all the fight from me. I know what will happen, I know what I will do. I try to believe that my acceptance is one of rational thinking, not suicidal thoughts from a world that I wasn't exactly sure was real or not anymore.

But as the Reaping process began and Effie, my heart stilling slightly, reading out the name of Primrose Everdeen in a high voice I took a deep breathe and cleared my face as best as I could. I would not run forward, I would stand tall.

"I Volunteer!" I shout, hoping my voice sounded confident. There where a few gasps but other than that the entire district in one moment grew silent. Effie's head snapped up so fast it threw her wig even more off center than it previously was before.

"I volunteer as tribute!" I say it again, louder this time. Taking a moment to allow the cameras to buss around me I look around the people surrounding me. They are in disbelief and almost fear at the attention being brought on them. I survey them for a moment before I begin to walk quickly towards the stage, the Peacekeepers observe but they keep their distance.

"NO!, Katniss!" At Prim's scream I halt momentarily as her body collides with mine. She is sobbing, holding onto me for dear life, I hold her for a moment then look up at Gale prying her away from me, I would walk towards the stage without looking back. Ignoring the sounds of her screaming I head up the stage, upon reaching Effie I allow her a small smile before I face my district, who are still in silence.

When Haymitch begins to laugh. "Look at this one!"

His voice full of mirth, I couldn't help but smile, though not in amusement, at the man who meant so much to me and yet, nothing at all. He was oddly sober this time round, and was looking at me intently. He faked it then, I realized, detracting the cameras from the sight of me when I was about to cry. Though this time apparently I didn't need the distraction I smirk at him then turn my attention back to Effie, ignoring the feeling of his eyes on me.

At Effie's request after a few questions have been asked, such as my name and if Prim was my sister, the district is silent. But instead of the farewell symbol I was expecting, they begin to cheer, loudly. The claps start slowly, they the shouting, the hollers and the chant Katniss ring in my ears. It takes a while for them to settle down before Effie is able to call the male tribute of one Peeta Mellark. There are cheers, but as we leave, the chant of Katniss is still going. Peeta looks crushed and I realized with a sickening sense that it was because his whole district was cheering for the other tribute. I raised my hand to halt their cheers and they complied.

She was used to crowds now, but taking a deep breath she kissed three figures and held them up to her district and people were fully silent. They cheered at the thought of having another victor, but she had just said goodbye to them, that she would not return alive, and as she left, she had to hold back the emotion she felt as they too copied her actions, the chant of her name continued on.


Poor pete! well lets see how Haymitch holds up!!