A.N: Let those reviews come in. :] Or these updates are going to get really slow. Let me know your criticisms and compliments. I love to hear them. Plus, Bella might be coming around soon...
Chapter Eight
If Jake was good at anything, then it was doing homework. Biology, Chemistry, Maths, English, Business Management, you name it, Jacob could do it. In fact, he did mine and his own. I only asked him how to do it, but like the loving boyfriend he was, he simply did it all for me.
"Do you do it because you love me so much?" I asked one day as we lounged on my bedroom floor and sipped on Beth's hot chocolate.
"No I do it because you're so annoying when I try to explain it to you so I just do it myself to save myself from your whining." He replied, writing my biology essay.
I huffed in mock annoyance and went back to swivelling on my chair.
"But I do love you as well" Jacob said as an after thought.
I said there, in awed silence. Did he mean that like that? Did he love me or was he in love with me? Oh gawd, I couldn't even run down and ask Beth for her opinion.
Finally, I said in a small voice, "Did you really mean that?"
He looked up, with intense eyes, burning with emotion and sincerity, "Yes, I did."
I rushed to him, not caring about my creased essay and kissed him fiercely, clutching his precious face to mine. I caressed his soft, smooth skin and raked my hands wildly in his silky black hair. He wound his arm around me and began delving into my mouth and weaving his long fingers into my hair. As my lips moved to his cheek and his to my neck I murmured, "I love you too."
"Carlie!- CARLIE RENEESME CULLEN!" A deep voice roared from the doorway.
For fuck's sake. Did the most important moment of my life have to be interrupted by my father who was supposed to be halfway across the country?
I jumped away from Jacob in fright and looked down in embarrassment. From the corner of my eye I saw Jake's mortified face flush pink with chagrin.
Edward stood at the door in a hoodie, jeans and Chucks still holding his carrier bag. His face was beyond livid as he breathed heavily with his green eyes which were steel hard.
"I want to see both of you in the drawing room. Sit at complete opposite ends." He instructed in a deathly calm voice before storming into his bathroom.
We did as we were told. Beth got the gist of the situation as she saw our shell-shocked expressions and wished us luck. I mouthed 'sorry' to Jacob at every opportunity but he only shook his head and averted his gaze.
Edward breezed in from nowhere and stood in the centre of the ornately decorated room. He picked up a few of the crystal decorations on the centre table, examined them from every angle placed them back, and then collapsed into a heap on the middle couch. Jake and I sat on the sofas opposite each other but beside my father's. Our heads were bowed so deep, my neck began hurting and I was wondering when he'd speak so I could relieve my paining neck.
After ages he cleared his throat. Thank God, my neck was still intact.
"What I saw today...I never want to see again. I understand that you were encapsulated in the throes of passion, but that doesn't mean it's acceptable" He began.
"I think you've jumped to conclusions" Jake said meekly.
Oh God. Jacob, do not speak back; number one When-Dealing-With-Edward lesson. You may not live to see the weekend.
"I probably have, but that's what parents do. I don't want to see my daughter hurt because of you. But, I don't want her to hurt you either. I don't care what your story is; all I know is that I saw you in a compromising position and that cannot be. Carlie, I forbid you from seeing Jacob Black for now on. Jacob, you may leave."
My jaw hung slack as Jake rose from his seat and quietly slipped away, not turning back once. All at once, tears cascaded down my cheeks as I hicupped loudly and sniffing long and hard. Beth came running from the kitchen to comfort me but my bastard of a father walked away.
"Its not fair! I wasn't about to do anything with him. He just told me he loved me, and that asshole had to come ruin it!" I cried.
"Shhh...calm down honey" Beth stroked my hair, "And keep it on the low or he'll hear you and then you're disowned for sure."
More tears leaked, "It's not as if he has prime custody anyway. My heartless grandmother has that. The very one who hasn't once in sixteen years asked of me." I said bitterly.
Beth had nothing to say to that.
--
Hours turn into days which convert into weeks. Time doesn't alleviate the pain of absence. I still missed Jacob everyday. Despite the fact that we met at school everyday, Edward had let loose spies to see if I was following his orders. The fucking buttlicker was such a tyrant. The news was received from Beth, who had thoughtfully eavesdropped on Edward's conversation with someone on the phone. Jacob hasn't been the same since, and is very reserved with everything. Touching is a long shot, he barely speaks to me. The feeling of failure and rejection have now become rather familial.
Claire, Kim and Emily dutifully came over every weekend for a girl's night but I could see how much they missed their boyfriends. So, after the first two attempts, I told them to go away and spend quality time with their significant others.
It has been four weeks since I have spoken to my father. I feel that it's a waste of breath to even acknowledge him. I now indulge in my studies to get rid of the constant nagging at the back of my mind. I was now on the family computer trying to search for my English presentation which I had saved somewhere in a hurry, which I needed for the following day. Browsing every folder rendered me unsuccessful. I stumbled upon old photos, seventh grade MSN conversations with Claire, Emily and Kim and my project.
And another unexpected folder labelled with my name.
I double clicked the icon to reveal a list of scanned images of various documents. They were mostly passport copies, birth certificates and blood group slips. But, one of them was a file which was named 'Carlie_Custody.' Curiosity killed the cat and compelled me to open the file. It gave the full details, including the picture, telephone number, address and family status of a woman named Renee Swan.
My grandmother. She was a blonde haired, blue-eyed elementary school teacher who lived with her husband Phil Dwyer in Phoenix, Arizona. She had a son named Emmett Swan who was also married, and lived near Phoenix as well. I could hear footsteps on the stairs so I quickly saved a copy of the document on my USB drive and made my way to my room.
I breathed in deeply, in a feeble attempt to calm my erratic heart which was thumping away relentlessly in my chest. I turned up some music, in hopes that the enticing information on my grandmother would burn out of my mind. But, the phone-numbers kept popping up and the address in Phoenix kept taunting my curious mind.
"Carlie, are you free at the moment?" Beth asked tentatively as she poked her head around the corner.
"Yes." I answered in a rush.
Beth came and sat on the edge of my bed, fiddling with her blonde hair, patting it obsessively. She looked around my room, zoned in on my laptop screen which was thankfully blank before resting her eyes on the expanse of forestry visible from my window.
"Spit it out Beth." I sighed.
"Erm...Carlie...you know that I love you very much, right?" She stammered.
"Of course." I replied absently. Everyone who loves you seems to pain you when you least expect it.
"Well...erm...Seth proposed!" She finally exclaimed.
I smiled widely, blandly.
I was truly happy for her; she deserved a good life after all she has put up with. My silent, brooding but bitchy attitude of late must have been really hard on her. Putting up with such PMS is quite an accomplishment.
"Congratulations Beth! I'm so happy for you!" I smiled properly for the first time.
She hugged me, "Thanks Carlie. Would you like to be my main bridesmaid? Alice is my maid of honour."
I nodded against her shoulder; that was one occupation I wouldn't mind.
We drew apart, and sat against my headboard. Beth's eyes were alight with euphoria. It was bittersweet; watching her just an arm's length away from an eternity of happiness while I moped around in my star-crossed glory.
"I have to leave." She suddenly whispered.
The uncomfortable feeling in my stomach returned, full force. "What do you mean?"
"I'm moving in with Seth, so we can adjust to the new dynamics of our relationship." Beth answered carefully.
And that's when I realised that I was right. Everyone you love, hurts you. Beth reminded me that she loved me dearly. It was supposedly an explanation for her leaving me here alone. It was a backup so I couldn't be mad at her. Because for the people you love, you take every sort of pain. And this was my compromise for her. I felt abandoned, but Beth's life didn't revolve around me.
"That's a good idea." I whispered in agreement.
She crushed me to her chest, light sobs wracking through her slender form. I clutched onto her as if for dear life. Beth was the one constant in my life, and now she was leaving. "I'm going to miss you so much Carlie! You have to come visit me everyday, do you understand?"
"Yes I will, and you better not forget us either!" I choked out.
"Thank you for being so understanding." She cried.
"Thank you for loving me." I murmured, my own tears threatening to spill.
--
Beth was ready to go, with her belongings strapped to the back of Seth's SUV and her sleek little car. The house wasn't physically affected, but it felt like an entire chunk of my life was ripped out of the mansion and stuffed into two cars. I stood in the vast expanse of gravel at the front of the house and gazed on in resignation. Despite the sadness and reluctance in Beth's actions, I knew there was a fire in her eyes. She was happy. I felt bitchy for putting up such a stroppy face, so I plastered a half-fake smile and even helped in putting her bags into the cars.
Edward stood there, looking very worried. He kept casting furtive glances between his cousin, Seth and I. Despite the dark sky on the Sunday night, his stoney eyes couldn't be dismissed.
"Alright, that's us." Seth said as he shut the door of his large car.
Beth rushed to Edward and crushed herself to him. She sobbed into his chest and mumbled incoherently. And to think she was happy two seconds ago.
"Thank you so much Edward, you housed me when nobody else would; you had faith in me when everyone lost it in me. I'll miss your sordid ass so much..."
I had to bark a short laugh at her latter words. Of course she wouldn't miss that.
Edward was taken aback by the rather heartfelt words, "Erm...Beth, you don't need to thank me. That's what brothers are for. And I'll miss you far more than you can imagine." He kissed her forehead tenderly.
Finally, she extracted herself off my evil father and came charging into me, sending us both flying onto the grass beside the door. I laughed shakily and patted her back, "Oh Bethany, don't cry. I'm right here and I bet Seth is a much better sight in the morning than me."
"Yeah, yeah, I'll be back all the time and bugging you to no end." She gave me a watery smile and went to her car.
"Take care of her. She is worth so much, and you better treat her like a princess." Edward warned Seth who only nodded and gave Beth a chaste kiss on the cheek.
They drove away into the realm of reality.
Not sparing Edward a glance, I ran all the way to my room and threw myself onto my bed, wishing sleep to invade me. However, I had no such luck, since the proud form of my father stalked me right into my room.
"Carlie."
I stayed mute.
"I'm talking to you."
"I am aware of that." I muttered sharply.
"Don't talk to me like that."
I didn't answer.
"Look at me."
"No thanks." I mumbled.
"You're pushing it."
"So are you."
He exploded.
"What have I done to deserve this?! I tried and I tried, but I can never win with you, can I Carlie? I let you date that horrid dog that pretty much mauled you in here, I give you everything you want, I work my ass off for you and all you can do is show me this strop?! I'm sorry you don't have a mother, but is it my fault? No, it's not; it's yours!"
Of course it was my fault. Hang a fucking sign around my neck: 'Killer of Bella Swan.' What was the point in crying over it when it was already done. I am the reason that Bella Swan was burnt in the fire and I am the reason that Edward Cullen lives like the cynical man he is.
I kept my face buried in my pillow so he couldn't see how much his words hurt me. Jacob didn't maul me in my room; we were sharing a mutual act of passion with our virtues intact. I could hear my father's ragged breathing echoing in the suddenly very quiet room. I wished that Beth could come back and break this palpable tension with a smartass comment. Then, she and I would cry and laugh off the whole thing.
It seemed like years later, that he left the room with light, feathery steps. Five hundred seconds later, I peeked up to find my door closed and the lights switched off. Tiptoeing across the room, I cracked the door open to see that the entire house was in hibernation. Perfect.
Flipping my laptop open, I booted it up and opened every document in the 'Carlie_Custody' folder and printed them off. I cringed at the noise of the computer but thankfully, my Dad's door remained closed. The last image that I came across was one of my mother. I gasped at the alikeness. My father was right...I did look like her, especially since it was taken in her teenage years. Round face, plump lips, thick fringe of eyelashes and the same cascading curtain of mahogany hair. Tears clouded my vision as I pictured this beautiful girl give birth to me. The woman I never knew.
But, emotions were a weakness. I couldn't waste time on such trite things. I was on a mission.
