Richard rolled onto his side as he began to waken, instantly reaching for her. Jumping up, he searched the room and when he realized that she was gone, he crawled out of the bed and marched to the door. She wasn't in the room their daughter was given like he first thought, but neither was Emma. He relaxed for a moment, hoping that they were eating in the kitchen or speaking with one of the Sisters of the Light. He reached the dining hall first, taking a brief look around the empty chairs as he moved through to the kitchen. Emma was sitting on the edge of the small table with a large bowl of strawberries in her hands and a wide smile on her face.
"Hi!" she exclaimed with a slight jump. "Do you want some?"
He couldn't help but smile at the stained skin around her mouth, proving just how many she had already eaten. "Maybe one." As he bit into the fruit, he brought himself to sit beside her, letting his legs swing off in rhythm with hers. "It's delicious, thank you for sharing."
"Melcome," she mumbled through a full mouth.
Looking around the room, he hoped to see her sitting in the corner somewhere, watching, but she wasn't. "Where's your mother?"
Emma dropped a berry into the bowl and slowly lifted her eyes to his. "She left with Zedd a few hours ago."
His heart stopped for a moment as his mind raced around it all. He couldn't imagine how it had felt to her before, but now he knew. "Zedd? How was he?"
The young Confessor chuckled. "That old man can survive anything. What?" she questioned as he looked at her in surprise. "That's what Cara said."
"Cara has her own way of speaking," he told her softly. "Where is Cara?"
"She's gone to kill something. She said it was driving her mad being locked up in here... Is that what it's like?"
"No. You'll see, if you decide to keep your magic, I think you'll enjoy it here."
"What about mommy?"
"You won't be away from her as long, you're young and can learn much faster. You will see her again before you know it."
"What about you?"
Shaking his head, he slouched his shoulders. "I don't know what she wants me to do."
"You want?"
Looking over to the young girl, he grinned as she nibbled on the end of the bright red fruit. "I want us to be a family."
"Did you tell her?" she asked with her mouth easing around the berry. "You ould ell er."
"I thought that I did."
Meeting his eyes, she lowered her hand and smiled. "You did? What did she say?"
"The same thing I'm sure you've heard her say before. She doesn't think we can have that life, but she shouldn't make the decision on her own, it's not fair."
Lowering her eyes to the floor, Emma swung her legs upward. "She said she was trying to protect you."
"When?"
"Always," she said sadly before meeting his eyes once more. "But she said it this morning, too." Smiling once more, she handed him another strawberry. "I'm going to learn with you and we can write mommy everyday."
Taking a quick look around them, he leans show head close to hers and whispered, "Do you want to go for a ride?"
Kahlan stared up at the stars while Cara poked a stick into the fire. The blonde had decided to accompany the wizard and Confessor part of the journey, both wanting to make sure that when Richard realized she was gone, he wouldn't be as upset knowing that she had taken some precautions. The night was cool, but there was an undeniable heat surrounding them, one that didn't come from the fire.
"Your meal is burning, Cara."
"It makes it taste better."
Turning her head, she looked over to the blonde and smiled. "I'm sure it's wonderful."
"It is."
With a chuckle, the Mother Confessor rolled onto her side to face her friend. "What's it like... Living there...?"
"It's boring," she stated flatly.
"Did you see him?"
"Sometimes. He trained most of the day, hidden away in a locked room."
"Did you-"
"Why didn't you ask him?"
"I couldn't find the words. When I looked at him, I was afraid he would see all of the time that passed and I've-"
"Grown old while he's slept."
"Yes, but that's not what I was going to say. After everything we've been through, what I kept from him, how could I expect him to answer a single question?"
"She looks like him."
"She does, doesn't she?" she asked with a grin. "Sometimes I find myself staring."
"Her nose is too big."
Sitting up, she let out a soft laugh. "No, it's not. Yours is a little large."
"She has a plum on her face."
"She's beautiful."
"Are you going to start crying over her?"
Shaking her head, Kahlan sighed. "No, but that doesn't mean I don't miss her. She's all I have. The council has ordered me to take another mate." Part on her didn't know why she told the other woman, it was something she had been keeping to herself for months, putting it in the back of her mind for the moment she knew her child was safe. She supposed, this was the time. "They had Tony examined, they know he cannot give me another child and I... I don't know what I expected, but it could not have been wrong to hope that we created another child, could it?"
"Did you?"
Shrugging her shoulders, the brunette closed her eyes. "I don't know. If we did, she's not as strong as Emma, I don't feel anything."
"But you were together?" She thought her friends cheeks would redden or that she would show some kind of embarrassment, but she didn't. "Did you lay with him before we left?"
"It surprised me too," she admitted softly. "I thought that he would take one look at her and... He should hate me for keeping her from him. Cara, I kept expecting him to scream at me for such a secret, but he laid there at my side, once again trying to convince me that we can have a life together." Holding the Mord'Sith's gaze, Kahlan leaned forward. "I wish so badly that it was possible and I am ashamed of myself for hoping my daughter forsakes the life I desperately want."
"She won't give up her magic," Cara stated at once, ignoring the rest of the Confessor's words. "Richard will say something, she'll cry and be eternity sorry for ever wishing them away."
Kahlan couldn't help but chuckle, knowing she was right. "I've missed you too, Cara."
"Of course you did."
"She told me what you did for her... Thank you."
Dropping the stick, the blonde folded her arms. "I took her to the kitchen."
"You talked with her, just when she needed a friend. She likes you, more than she shows."
"You should sleep, we have to make up time tomorrow."
"Thank you, Cara."
She didn't wait for her to respond, her friend wouldn't. Laying back, she looked over to the wizard, who was sound asleep, making sure he hadn't heard a certain part of their conversation. With a soft sigh, she closed her eyes and waited for sleep to claim her. The moment she saw darkness, she could feel his warmth next to her and with her next breath, she prayed his touch would fade from her mind.
"You're going to roll into the fire."
Kahlan jumped at the sound of his voice, a mix of surprise and terror at the sudden awakening. "Richard?"
"Expecting someone else?" he asked as he made himself comfortable beside her. He was laying on his back with his arms crossed beneath his head as he stared up at the starry sky. "I've missed this. Look how beautiful they are."
She didn't take her eyes off of him as she wiped away the sleep. "What- Richard, what are you doing here? Where's Emma?"
Turning his had toward her, he grinned widely. "She's been asleep for hours, I laid her next to Zedd and Cara. I think she can sleep through anything."
"Richard-"
"I wasn't going to let you leave again," he said quickly. "I can't lose any more time with you and I would never leave Emma alone, so I brought her with me. Kahlan, we can be a family now. I can help her with the Rahl magic, just as you can with yours."
"You shouldn't be here. You have your own training to finish."
"I've finished, Kahlan."
Shaking her head, she sat up and rubbed her face with both of her hands. "I don't understand-"
"Because you're not looking at it the right way," he chuckled. "Kahlan, I had no intention of allowing you to leave the palace. When I woke up and you were gone... You gave me no choice but to come after you."
"Richard, we cannot have this life, no matter how much we want it."
Sitting forward, he turned to face her. "We had it last night and we will have it again."
"It's not possible."
"You are a stubborn woman, Mother Confessor. You've traveled fast and hard, telling me that you feel what I do. There may come a night when we are lost in passion and you release your magic- And I know how that makes you feel, but I'm not afraid of it. I've felt it before, I feel it now and it's lingering beneath your skin, a breath from being free..." Inching closer, he took her face in his hands and guided her forward. Her eyes were dark, mixed with with magic and passion, something he enjoyed more than his own breath. "Your magic is beautiful."
"It's dangerous."
"So is sleeping in the open with a dragon flying around."
"Richard-"
"You can't push me away anymore, Kahlan. I won't let go of the two of you. You're my family."
"How can you say that? Richard, I've- For more than six years, I have hidden your daughter from you, I've-"
"You had your reasons and after everything I put you through, after the night I nearly- Kahlan... After what I did, I would understand if you never wanted her to know me and for weeks, I- I thought that I would never meet her and when I saw her at the palace, I... I knew she was yours. I could see it clearly and in that moment, I decided that I would never let go of either of you."
"You're not letting go of us, you're... Saving yourself."
"You are not going to change my mind, Kahlan. I'm here and I'm going to spend the rest of my life filling our home with our daughters. I can't stop imagining our lives together and I promise that I won't hurt you again."
Grabbing his face she pulled herself close to him, pressing her forehead and nose against his. "That's not what I'm afraid of. Spirits, I... If I lost you, I don't know what I would do."
"You won't lose me. I will always be right here, even if you confessed me. Kahlan I know that you would kill yourself in a heartbeat, but I swear to you that in the instant your magic touches me, I will not change. It's not possible for me to love you more than I already do."
"I can't force you to love me, Richard."
He kissed her briefly with a smile. "I've already chosen to love you."
"And if you wanted to change your mind?"
Richard pulled back with a quiet sigh, knowing that what he was about to say to her would bring her mind to spin. "I've had the chance, Kahlan. I even tried to stop loving you. I- When I woke up in the Palace of the Prophets, I tried to move on because I thought that you had. You were close to giving birth and you had Tony, I never imagined I would hear from you again. There was a woman in the palace and I... I thought that if I could lay with her, it would help me forget you." She stared at him, her eyes still dark, but were now wet with tears. He could see her fighting her instincts, her desire to slap him most likely.
"She was a beautiful woman, but she wasn't your kind of beauty. When I looked at her, all I saw was everything that made her different from you. It didn't stop me though and I, I spent some time talking with her. I seduced her the best I could, but when the time came for me to take her, I couldn't. All I could see was your face, looking at me like you are now. Disappointed that I could be so foolish and I am. I will never want another woman, Kahlan. I will never find another I believe to be more attractive because it's not just the way you look that attracts me. I look at you and see someone wonderful. You're intelligence bleeds through your gaze, your heart showing with each move and when I'm close to you, I feel like it can become part of me. Your magic, when I watch it collect in your eyes and then flow into another, it's more beautiful than I can ever hope to describe to you. Everything that makes you, you, that is what I love. How can I ever be with anyone else when my heart is yours?"
Kahlan swallowed, hard, her eyes locked on his, seeing the truth of each word. She wanted to be angry with him, for him to feel the pounding of her heart, but she knew she couldn't use the other woman as a weapon. Not because he hasn't laid with her, but because she had tried to do the same. She understood the very feeling he spoke of and knew how hard it had been for him to admit it to her.
"I'm not going to change my mind, Kahlan. It wouldn't be possible. You and Emma are my family."
"And you are ours," she managed to whisper as he took hold of her hands. "I need you to promise me one thing. Before I let go of my fear and hold you close, you must promise me one-"
"Anything."
"If that time comes and one day you wake up and no longer love me or not as you do now... If that day comes, promise me that you won't stay because you feel like you have to. Promise me that you'll tell me and then... Leave."
"If that time comes, Kahlan, I promise I will discuss it with you."
Relief flooded her as she squeezed his hands, grateful for his words. "Thank you." Moving slowly, she pushed on his legs until she was able to crawl onto his lap. He remained still as she settled down and took hold of his face. "I love you, Richard."
Grabbing her hips, he pulled her forward and soaked in her soft moan. "I love you, too."
"The Seeker is your mate?" the head of the council questioned for the umpteenth time.
Kahlan and Richard had been standing before them for over an hour and no matter what was said, it always returned to this moment.
"No," the Mother Confessor disagreed in another attempt to get then to understand.
"Yes." He met her confused eyes and grinned. "They can't understand. It's alright, Kahlan. To them, all animals have one and I am yours. I am your mate. I may not be confessed, but I will be sharing your bed and doing my best to give you children."
"They shouldn't call you that," she whispered to him. It was the single set of words she had chosen to debate. Hearing 'Her mate' made her feel as though what she and Richard had was wrong. "We are not wild animals."
Raising an eyebrow, he tilted his head with a sly grin. "I don't know... The things we do, that you like-"
"Richard!" she half shrieked as she looked around to make sure the others hadn't heard him. "This is not the place for that." Turning to face him, she frowned. "If they consider you to be my mate, you leaving me will never become an option. They must understand that this is your choice."
"It's not them all you wish to convince, is it?" She remained silent and he understood. Turning toward the council, he straightened his back and met each of their eyes one by one as he spoke, "I am not the Mother Confessor's mate. I am, as many of you have one of your own, I am simply a man who wishes to be with the woman he loves. I will do as you would command of her mate and give her children, but on my free will. No one will not command me." Looking back to her, he sighed. "Is that what you wanted?"
After her single nod, he turned and walked from the room, leaving her alone with the others.
"Why have you chosen Lord Rahl? Do you know the catastrophe this man will bring upon us?"
"For you, you mean?" she questioned without hesitation. "With Richard in my bed, you lose the power you had over me. I will give you the children you desire me to have, but you will never mention any disaster you feel caused by him, do you understand me? One word of it and I will cut the tongue from your mouth and feed it to your own children." Taking a step forward, she remained calm, more frightening to the others than a rampage. "He may have the Rahl magic within him, but I assure you, he is far different than any man you have ever known. There is no man in creation who is better suited to give me children."
"You say this now, after you have had him lay between your legs. You are not fit to make this decision on your own. If you were and if he was, you would have chosen him years ago."
Raising an eyebrow, Kahlan stepped forward. "You seem to have lost your memory. I had chosen him, had I not, our daughter would not be in my dining hall. I have chosen Lord Rahl and I believe there is a single discussion we have yet to have."
"Can I have another slice of pie?"
"Another?!" Richard exclaimed as he leaned back in his chair. "You've had three already!"
"They're delicious! I could eat a whole pie! No! A whole palace of pies!"
With a soft chuckle, the Seeker pushed his own plate in front of the young girl. "If you eat this, you have to promise to eat all of your dinner tonight."
"I promise daddy!"
Leaning close to her, he lowered his voice. "You should eat it before your mother comes..."
Stopping mid-bite, Emma looked up to him. "Do we have any left for her?"
"We have one more slice."
"What are we eating?"
Jumping up from her seat, Emma raced to her mother at the door, wrapping her arms around her waist. "Blueberry pie!"
"Mmm, is there any left?"
"Daddy saved you a slice! Come on, mommy!"
Walking along side her daughter, she made her way to the dining room table, built for two dozen and sat down next to the Seeker.
"It must have been delicious, there is only one slice left."
"I couldn't help myself," Richard replied with a sly grin.
Holding back a laugh, she reached out and wiped a napkin over their daughter's chin. "If you're the one who ate it, how did it end up all over this one's face?"
"Daddy let me have four pieces!"
Laying the cloth in the young girl's hands, Kahlan looked over her shoulder to the man, who tried his best to keep from laughing. "He did?"
"It wasn't my intention, but she was enjoying it so much, I didn't want to take the joy away from her."
Her hand suddenly found his and squeezed, needing the comfort. "I don't think anything you do could take away her joy." Tossing a glance back to the young girl, she leaned closer to him. "I spoke to the council... They've agreed to allow you to train her as you see fit." He smiled, but it didn't remain long as she held his eyes. "They aren't happy about it either, but I... I told them you had a plan." With a grin, she inched a little closer. "You should have seen the look on Carol's face, I thought she was going to..." Doing her best to hold back a chuckle, she leaned back and slouched in the chair. "There is another matter I would like to discuss with you, but I'm afraid it will require me to be alone with you."
Richard turned his head toward her at once, in surprise. "They don't wish to have me examined first?"
Scrunching her nose, she held her smile. "Who knows what tomorrow may bring?"
"Kahlan-"
"My tummy hurts, mommy."
Kahlan turned quickly and outstretched her arms, allowing her to crawl onto her lap. Laying her head on her chest, Emma closed her eyes and took in a slow breath that matched her mother's heartbeat.
"Do you want to lay down for a little while? We'll get you before dinner."
"I can't," she replied softly. "I promised Cara that I would show her the rabbit I caught. She doesn't believe that I have one."
"You can show her later," Richard advised in a tone that made her lift her head with a smile. "You could nap and your mother and I could-"
"Give me a sister?"
Kahlan's mouth dropped and her cheeks reddened for a moment. "Emma-"
"Everyone's talking about it..."
"What are they saying?" Richard asked without thought.
Meeting his eyes, she read him. He wanted to know and from the expression on her face, she knew it was best to tell him. "They say you've gone mad, but it isn't true. You- They say you're going to leave us."
"I'm not going anywhere, Emma, I promise."
Lowering her eyes and returning her head to her mother's chest, she sighed. "That's what I told them."
Bending forward, Richard brushed his fingers through her hair. "Those people can't understand our family. We are different from everything they've been trained to believe and we will spend the rest of our lives in a way that will never make sense to them."
"Because you love mommy?"
"Because I love both of you."
"Why?"
"Because I can. Come here," he said softly, opening his arms. "I'll carry you to your bedroom." She moved to him at once, allowing him to lift her as he stood. "Hold on tight, we have stairs to climb."
Grinning, she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled herself close while looking over to her mother. "You're coming too, aren't you?"
"I don't think I want to miss this journey."
"She's going to wake up the instant we get up."
Kahlan nodded with a smile, her eyes closed as she shifted in their daughter's bed. "I've had this problem before. We move, she wakes up and then it's followed by five more stories about how we've saved the world."
"I'm not sure we have many left."
"Not if we want her to sleep for the next few years." Licking her lips, she turned to look up at him. "She sleep deeper when you're here, we may be able to sneak out and spend a few minutes in our own bed."
His body went numb for a breath, the tone of her voice lingering seductively in his ears. "If we make it to the door without waking her, I don't plan on waiting until we cross the palace before I have you alone."
"The spare bedroom down the hall?"
"We can run."
Kahlan moved first, slowly sitting forward as she inched to the foot of the bed. When her feet touched the floor, she looked back at the other two, making sure Emma was still sound asleep in her father's arms. With his nod of encouragement, she stood and to his surprise, waltzed to the door in a way that made his body ache.
He moved quicker than intended, but as long as his eyes were on the woman across the room, he could barely think. Laying their daughter down, he swung his legs off of the bed and jumped up. Kahlan's eyes flew to the young girl, who seemed to believe the pillow he had being laying against was him and pulled herself closer. Richard made a partial run to the door, doing his best to catch the Mother Confessor before she exited the room without him.
The couple closed the door quietly behind them, neither going far before he had her pressed against the wall. With his mouth hovering hers, he held her passionate gaze. "Spirits Kahlan, are you-"
"Trying to seduce you?" she finished his sentence with just as much heat. "Indeed, I was." A low growl escaped him, vibrating through his chest and into hers.
He remained still and she knew his mind was fighting his desires. He wanted to talk about what had happened earlier that day with the High Council and she couldn't allow that to happen, not here and not now. Slipping her hands beneath his shirt, she pulled him roughly against her and closed her eyes, making sure to add a quick buck of her hips to his.
Her actions had the desired effect as he turned and yanked her along by the hand. They nearly ran down the hall to the empty bedroom, one that would keep them hidden just long enough.
Richard didn't bother to lock the door, there wasn't time for it. Pushing against the back, he lifted her from the floor, her legs instantly circling his waist as their lips claimed each others. His hands moved over her legs and sides, stopping at her breasts for a passionate squeeze that sent her pushing forward. Ripping the front of her dress, he pushed it open and inched back just to watch it fall from her shoulders. She had stopped wearing her corset days before, hating the extra time it kept them apart. His hands covered her breasts gently pulling and pushing while his mouth lingered around her chest.
Winding her fingers in his hair, she panted his name and dropped her head back, knocking on the door. Her hips rolled forward as his mouth covered her, but suddenly she was pulling his head back.
Richard jerked back at once, terrified that he had done something wrong. "Are you alright?"
Grabbing his face, she kissed his hard and slow, keeping her eyes closed to avoid the look in his. "I'm sorry, Richard..." Shaking his head, he tried to understand but when she met his eyes, he knew. "I know how much it hurt you to say what you did, but I..." Her eyes began to water as she fought the urge to cry, hating to stop their activities for the admission. "I have sat in that room for days trying to make them understand, but I couldn't. I- It was selfish, but I needed them to know."
"What?"
Touching her left hand to his cheek, she gave a small smile. "That you chose this; me." Looking away, she lowered her hand and sighed. "I wanted them to know that for once, I was not so different than them. The man I loved, he had a choice and, at least for now, he chose me."
"But you are different from them, Kahlan," he said softly and the moment the words left his lips, he regretted them. Her eyes flew back to his in pain and as he met them, he felt it too. "Kahlan-"
"Please put me down," she whispered as he started to apologize.
He eased her down to the ground, but remained close as she sat down on the floor. "That's not what I meant. I'm sorry, I- Kahlan, you're different, not just from them and not because I your magic." Kneeling down, he caught her gaze and smiled. "We've have a conversation like this before, do you remember? Kahlan, everything about you makes you different and I'm sorry that I made it seem like a bad thing. You are different and they should know that. I wish that my love for you showed them that. I wish they saw us the way we do and I know that what you wanted me to say was for your ears as well. I know you're waiting for the day to come, where you wake up and I'm no longer here."
"No," she whispered softly. "Maybe it was true in the beginning, but it's not any longer. Richard, what scares me isn't that you'll be gone when I wake up, it's that you won't be." Leaning back, she closed her eyes and sighed. "I cannot stop myself from wondering why you would want to stay. I know- My heart knows that you love me, love us, but my mind keeps asking why." Looking back to him, she took in a deep breath. "I don't believe I'll ever have an answer for it."
"Love doesn't have an answer, Kahlan."
"Maybe not," she agreed. "But it doesn't keep us from wanting one."
Inching toward her, he closed the distance between them and slowly pulled on her hands. "Come here."
Crawling into his lap, she hugged herself to him, flattening her breasts against his chest. Their faces were inches apart, sharing each other's breath as they held the other close.
"I'm sorry I asked you to speak with them today."
"I know," he whispered. "It's alright."
With a wide smile, she circled her arms tighter around his shoulders and leaned forward. "You're overdressed."
"Am I?"
Bringing her lips to his, she flicked her tongue against them. "Mmhmm."
Lifting his arms, he allow her to pull his shirt free of his body. "How's that?"
A smile came to her lips as his words rasped around her ears. "Better..." Shifting her hips, she pushed forward so that her chest was against his once again and slowly brought his hands back to her.
Both moved together, removing the little space between them as their bodies collided.
