Hi ya'll! Hope you enjoyed your holiday weekend (if in the U.S.). Thank you for your messages and reviews, keep em coming! Maya will be out of camp VERY soon and reunited with Emily shortly after ;-)
But until then, enjoy 'Hurt' ...
Chapter 8: Hurt
It had been a few weeks since I heard from 'A' or Paige and sadly…Emily. Though I was happy to have the luxury of not always looking over my shoulder, I was missing Emily and there was no way for me to reach her. I started to wonder if I made the right decision. Maybe I should have just taken Paige's phone and shoved it up her ass. Who am I kidding…she probably had copies of the video and other things I couldn't even imagine. This whole thing was too deep and I didn't want to get Emily involved in all this "A" mess. If she never had to know about any of this, she'd be better for it. I wouldn't want this person harassing her too. I don't know if she could handle it.
I had been going through days at camp like a zombie. Going from meeting to meeting not really speaking to anyone. Sitting alone at Me Time dodging the guilty glances from Veronica. I still wasn't ready to speak to her. I thought being rid of "A" would bring me some peace, but all I could do was think about Emily.
The other night at Me Time as I was sitting alone by the window reading a copy of Lolita. This kid I had seen around named Nathan came and sat next to me.
"Lolita..." he said, "Isn't that about the guy who was perving on his daughter?" I put my book down and looked at him. He was definitely a cutie, but also very much not Emily. The smile he was giving me was too obvious.
"She was twelve and she became his stepdaughter…but essentially yes, this guy's a perv." He laughed and asked why I was reading it, the answer to which I didn't really know. I had read it before a long time ago and recently saw one of Emily's friends with it…Hannah I think…and decided to pick it up again.
"Well, what are you doing sitting alone Maya? I don't usually see you sitting alone," he said. My guard immediately went up. Out the corner of my eye I saw Dr. Sullivan talking to a camper. She spotted me and smiled at me. I turned back to Nathan and said, "So you've seen me? Have you been watching me? I really need you not to do that." He laughed again and said, "Don't worry, I'm not stalking you. It's just hard not to notice such a beautiful girl." He gave me that obvious smile again and looked into my eyes. I had never seen anyone lay it on so thick. He then got up, "Well I'll leave you to your pervert and your helpless little girl." He smiled again and walked away.
Later that night I got to thinking about Emily, as I always did lying in my bed alone.
I remembered our very first kiss, one that I'll never forget. I went with Em to that kid's house party. I picked her up with the top down on my car mostly because I was trying to impress her. There hadn't been many moments when I felt the need to impress someone, but Em was different. On the way to the party she told me she and Ben had just broken up. I promised to show her a good time, insisting that she shouldn't be at home alone at a time like this.
When I got to the party I saw a huge bruise on Ben's face. I made a light joke about it because I didn't really want to know the real reason he looked like he had hit pavement, hard. I figured when Em was ready, she would tell me what happened. In the back of my mind though, I figured he must've done something to deserve that domestic dispute look. And for that reason, he was on my list.
Em needed to talk to her friends so I walked around the party, checking out the house. I ran into some friends from school and hung out with them for a while. I had a few drinks and was relaxing a little. After being hit on by a few drunken jocks I decided to go find Emily and bring her a drink. After snatching her away from Spencer, Emily downed most of her drink and we made it to the photo booth. I was sufficiently tipsy at this point so when Emily made a slight comment about her ever being remotely hideous I told her she was crazy beautiful. I could tell it made her uncomfortable, but she needed to know that. She just had to.
The alcohol in my system had made me brave in ways that I had never been with Emily. I was always afraid of pushing her too hard. But when I put my hand on the back of her neck and she gave me this intense yet fearful look, 'I knew I had to go for it. When we kissed I felt the world leave from under me. She didn't run, she kissed me back. And once we broke away from the kiss she bashfully looked away. Then to my surprise she kissed me again, and again, and again, until we broke away laughing deciding we should leave the booth for food...and more drinks of course. When the pictures weren't there, I was too swept up in love and Bacardi to give a damn. Now I guess I know who took them…
I remembered the time Emily came to see me after my late shift at the cupcake place. I was surprised to see her. She knew I was upset and I figured she'd just run and hide and pretend like our kiss in the booth never happened. But she was there wanting to make sure we were okay. She seemed so nervous. Hands in the pockets of her hoodie, leaning from one leg to the other, slightly stuttering through her sentences. It was adorable. I couldn't stay mad.
That night I told Emily I would wait for her because I cared about her. When I got here, Emily sent me a text that said the same thing. So I held onto that dream. That my girlfriend would wait for me and not buckle in my absence.
The next day at Me Time while I was reading by the window, Nathan approached me again, but this time he didn't speak. He simply sat down next to me, rummaged through his bag and pulled out the last Harry Potter book. He put on a pair of reading glasses and began to read with the most focused look on his face. He was only on chapter one. I couldn't help but laugh, "What? You trying to one-up me on the literary front?" He said, "Excuse me, Harry Potter is up there with Poe, Shakespeare, and whoever wrote that kiddie porn you're reading." I pretended to be hurt and slapped his arm. He didn't retaliate, just kept reading The Deathly Hallows.
Just then it was mail call. I had already received a care package from my mom the other day so I didn't budge. Then I heard my name. One of the drill sergeants tossed me a small box.
I hesitated opening it because Nathan was in front of me. He said, "If it's cookies I want two. Don't be holding out on me girl." I smiled and said "I'm going to take this back to my room and eat them all alone…like a fatty. You're not invited." He laughed as I got up and left. When I got to my room I set the box down on my bed and went to the bathroom. I looked at myself in the mirror and gave myself a pep talk. This box was not from 'A' that nightmare was over. This box was filled with brownies from mom, plain boring brownies, not the happy kind.
I went back in my room and opened the box. Inside I was happy to find a stack of brownies. I lifted them up to read the note from my mom. As I opened the paper I was greeted with a brand new nightmare. The note simply read: Looks like Paige played you. Want to join the A-team? Attached was a photo…a photo of my Emily…kissing Paige. There was another photo of Paige and Emily at a park laying down on a blanket and holding hands.
How could Emily forget about me so soon, so quickly, when she's been the only thing on my mind? The tears welt up in my eyes as my anger began to rise. She moved on so fast. Did she really care about me?
Just then there was a knock at my door. It was Nathan. He saw my tears and whipped the smirk off his face. He came and sat next to me on my bed. "What's wrong? Can I help?" he said. I couldn't speak. My heart was broken and I had so many tears in my eyes I couldn't see straight. I was so…numb. Nathan put his arm around me and rubbed my back. He said, "Whatever it is, you'll get through it Maya. You're right, I have been watching you. You're so strong."
I looked up at Nathan and saw the sincerity in his eyes. Before I knew it we were kissing and I was laying Nathan onto his back. Maybe it was a result of my anger, my sadness, my hurt, but mostly…I just needed to feel something.
