CHAPTER 7

Story: What if

Show: Higher Ground

Author: TooWeirdTooFunction

A/N: Last episode you Guys! Hope you've enjoyed it. I've really enjoyd writing it (though it's been a pain at times!). I really liked the character of Shelby from the TV-show - and i hope i have done her and the show Justice :)


::::::::::::::::::::::::::

I don't know how long I had been laying there - but it felt like forever - and rest had still eluded me. I was tired but no peace would come to me. Probably because me teeth couldn't stop chattering!

Just for once couldn't I get a decent nights sleep?! Or was that too much to ask for?!

My growing irritation didn't exactly help me in my quest for sleep. That stupid cold! Stupid weather! How in the world could it be absolutely excruciatingly hot at day, and absolutely freezing at night?! The Gods were probably laughing at us from the sky; Another reminder that we had no control over anything.

I tried snuggling even further down the sleeping back, trying so desperately obtain what little heat I could produce.

This was going to be a long night!

Minutes later I heard something rustling outside my tent; What was that? My heart started to beat a little faster with fright! With my luck it was most likely a grizzly bear!

Damn those idiots for putting us out here!

I put myself up on my elbows and held my breath. Seconds ticked by as if they were hours, and the rustling came closer.

Then, it was right outside my tent!

I prepared for the worst, like I usually did…. But was surprised when I discovered a disheveled looking Scott zip-opening my tent, and walked in.

His sandy curls were unruly and his green eyes were heavy with exhaustion. My brows frowned in confusion, as my mouth automatically asked what I was wondering:

"What do you think you're doing?"

He didn't answer me. Instead he just automatically started walking over to me, opened my sleeping bag and crawled in, before I even had a chance to object. I felt my body stiffened at his proximity.

"Scott?" I asked once again – not sure what he was after.

"Just shut up" He mumbled, his voice already lazed with sleep as he snuggled himself closer to me while sprawling the sleeping bag over us both. "Just for once, shut up".

He kissed my cheek, yawned, and closed his eyes just like that.

I was about to argue, but his warmth soon enveloped me like a warm blanket, leaving my objections a faint memory. I could finally feel that warmth and peace I'd so desperately been craving

This time I didn't have the energy to fight him. He just felt so good. I sighed contently despite myself as I relaxed into his embrace.

Besides only together could we fight the cold, I rationalized, trying not to be a big deal about it.

His steady breath slowly started to lull me to sleep. He felt so good. This felt so good. But my mind just refused to completely shut down as I realized this: this was a dangerous territory to step into. What did this mean? Did this mean that I needed him? Did this mean that he needed me? What did he expect from this?

I had so little to give and too offer him; so much of myself had been ripped away over the years. I had been tarnished.

… But laying here with him, almost made me forget all of that. For the first time in... well as long as I can remember… I felt safe.

As if he could hear me trail of hectic thoughts, he gave me a gentle squeeze and grunted unhappily. I had to suppress a smile as I watched the almost childish pout that covered his face; Even in his sleep he had to argue with me. If he had been awake I knew what he would have said: Just stop it. Whatever you're thinking, just stop.

It was a solid advice... that I probably would have fought anyways. But here's the thing with Scott: He almost NEVER does what I want (which is completely frustrating)!

But instead he seems to always know what I need.

… And this time I didn't want to fight him. I sighed contently as I allowed myself to surrender to his embrace. I laid my head on his shoulder, and was almost sure I could feel him smile in satisfactory. And I couldn't help but smile back.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Yes, there has always been lot of "what if's" in my life: What if my mom and dad had stayed together? What if my stepfather wasn't an abusive bastard? What if I - just for once - could be normal? Feel normal?

But I'm not. That is not my life.

As my head was on his shoulder, I could feel his steady breath and warmth surround me. It was like an ecstasy, a haze, just to lie there with him.

He was my biggest "what if".

Could I really let him in? Could I really fight what had become my nature?

I honestly didn't know… Still, it felt damn good to lie here with him!

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::