SONG ;;

Hell by Disturbed

PAIRING ;;

Izuru Kira x Soi Fon

UNIVERSE ;;

AU


"You're dead."

Izuru Kira blinked. "What- no, that can't be right," he said. "I was just-"

"I don't make the rules," the man in front of him said. "You were hit by a school bus. You're dead."

"I-" Izuru shook his head to clear it. Had he really died? Hit by a school bus? That just… that just didn't make sense. But it was true. It had to be true; otherwise, why would he be here, wherever this was?

Where was this, anyway? Hell? It sure wasn't heaven.

After getting directions from the man, Izuru began to walk down a long hallway that, seemingly, had no end. He wasn't sure where he was or why he only passed a person every once in a while. He'd read that a person died approximately every twelve seconds, so, statistically, he should be seeing more people than what he was.

"Hey."

Izuru jumped, looking around. Nobody. But he could've sworn someone had said something…

"Up here."

Izuru looked up to see a small, pretty, dark-haired girl hanging from the ceiling. He blinked. "Um," he said. "What exactly are you doing?"

She ignored his question, lowering herself down until she was face to face with him. "What did he say to you?"

"The guy back there? Uh, you're dead, I don't make the rules, you were hit by a school bus," Izuru replied, more than a little freaked out by her straightforwardness and the fact that she was dangling from the ceiling. She nodded, grabbed the front of his shirt, and suddenly they were rocketing up toward the ceiling. Izuru closed his eyes, bracing for the impact.

The impact never game. Izuru opened one eye cautiously. They were in a sort of attic-y type place, nice enough, he supposed, for what he was sure was Hell. "Where is this?" he asked. The girl, who had gotten rid of the harness she'd used from hanging from the ceiling, looked at him.

"Hell. Haven't you guessed?" she asked. "Only the extremely perfect get into heaven. Yoruichi is there, I'm sure… that's my quest. To find Yoruichi again. You looked lost, like you're looking for someone, too, so I figured that you could help me."

"Well…" Izuru's thoughts flashed to Momo Hinamori, a classmate of his – or, at least, she had been, after being brutally murdered by her ex-teacher slash ex-boyfriend, Sosuke Aizen. "Yeah. Sort of."

"Then it's settled. We're going to find a way into heaven and we're going to find them," the girl said. Taking quick steps over to him, she extended her hand for a shake. "I'm Soi Fon."

"Izuru Kira," Izuru said, taking her hand. She really was pretty – she even looked a bit like Momo, with dark hair and gray eyes. "So, where do you propose we look?"

"I have a couple of leads," Soi Fon said, going over to a desk and holding up a stack of papers. "I have a couple of informants all over this place – Nemu Kurotsuchi, Kiyone Kotetsu, Rangiku Matsumoto, and Omaeda." She wrinkled her nose in disgust when she mentioned the last person on her list. Izuru had an idea that this person wasn't a person he'd want to meet.

"Alright," Izuru said. "What do you want me to do?"

Soi Fon looked at him, her dark eyes seemingly staring straight into his soul. Izuru took a step back.

"You need to make connections," she said. "There's a man… he's a little on the odd side, but he will tell you what you need to know. I haven't been able to meet him, but you, you might."

"Alright," Izuru said, swallowing. "Where is he?"


Izuru Kira stood in front of a door that looked like he didn't want to enter. It was large, dark, foreboding, and really just not a nice-looking place.

Swallowing back his fears, he knocked.

A young-looking, pretty person (to be honest, Izuru wasn't sure if it was a boy or a girl) answered. He – she studied Izuru and wrinkled its nose. "What," it asked flatly.

From the voice, Izuru would say a boy.

"I- uh-" Izuru stumbled over his words, glancing around. "I need to talk to Gin Ichimaru."

The boy's eyebrows raised. "Really?" he asked. "Usually it's whores that Grimmjow ordered. You don't look like his usual type, though… right, Gin. Hey! Tesla! Get Gin!"

After a bit of shouting between this boy, 'Tesla', and some other guy who swore a lot, a tall, silver-haired man stood in front of Izuru. "Well, hello, 'Zuru," he said, grinning even wider. "Why don't you come in?"

Izuru barely had time to wonder how Gin had known his name before he was yanked roughly through the door. Gin kept a tight grip on his arm, and all Izuru could do was stumble after him and look around at all the people. A blue-haired man wearing only half a shirt was surrounded by half-dressed men and women. A pink-haired man stood at a table, mixing things that looked like they were about to explode. A dark-haired woman met the pretty black-haired boy and the two went off, talking in loud voices about things that Izuru didn't especially want to hear about.

"Welcome to my lair," Gin said, smirking and flopping down on a couch. Izuru stood, awkward. "What do you want to know?"

"Well, Soi Fon-"


Izuru woke up with a monster headache.

Soi Fon was bend over him, obviously concerned. "Thank God," she muttered. "That spoon-headed bastard knocked you out, but I managed to get you out of there in time."

"Wha… where…"

"Don't talk," Soi Fon advised, and Izuru could see something… was it affection? In her eyes. "You'll be fine. We can get into heaven another day."


And here we go.