A/N: hi guys ... hell of a month let me tell you ... heres the brief recap of what happened to me. 1) Reno'd room - unplugged writing computer and placed downstairs for about a week. 2) Got laptop! Whoot! 3) after setting up laptop, decide to plug old machine back in to transfer stories and whatnot to laptop. 4) ... old machine will not turn on. 5) Aikou's creative soul dies and breaks at this. Mourns for two weeks while parentals try to figure out solution. 6) Mother, oh wonderful glorious mother, borrows external hard-drive from guy at work and gets my hard-drive onto main computer! Stories now in laptop! And being backed up every damn day!! So yes, that's why it's been even LONGER than usual. But like I mentioned before, I'm heading to school for a professional writing course, so now I'm improving my style and whatnot! Here's my first update of many! Enjoy!

PREVIOUSLY

"- oh, and this is Kyo."

His eyes widened in horror as he turned towards the sound of Yuki's voice –

and Tohru stared at him wide-eyed, her mouth hanging open a bit from shock. Yuki hadn't seen her expression as he continued, "Another one of my cousins."

Her eyebrows rose and he bit his lip. Crap infinity.

Chapter 8 – What Hurts The Most

There he was. In the last place she would think to look for him – the logical side of her brain slapped her; how else would someone have access to a policeman's uniform? But there he was. Standing five feet from her … and her boyfriend.

Initially Tohru wanted to scream in surprise … then in shock … and then in horror at the situation. But rather than having to explain her reasoning for screams, Tohru quickly closed her gaping mouth and in desperation jutted her hand forward. It took all of her will power, and even crushed her heart a little, to say in a steady voice, "Nice to meet you."

Kyo took her in – her snow-wet hair, her quivering lips, her shocked blue eyes - and attempted to keep his wince internal, but realized if he didn't want to be kicked off the force this moment he had to keep up the act. Clearing his throat, but unable to remain emotionless, he nodded and replied, "You too."

Tohru shivered as his hand reached out and shook hers. Her cheeks grew hot and she wished and prayed to the gods to cool her down.

"Kyo's training to be an officer," Shigure suddenly explained. Kyo jumped a little at the voice – he hadn't seen his cousin standing so close to them. "He got the highest mark in the class this last week!"

Kyo nodded stiffly – but his eyes were locked with Tohrus. In her eyes he saw confusion; in his she saw regret. Realizing they would be caught staring at each other Tohru quickly looked up at Shigure. "Oh?" she squeaked.

At that moment the office door that Kyo had recently left opened, and Akito stepped out. "Yes, actually," he agreed with Shigure's statement (Kyo jumped at the sound of the chief's voice, then turned red with embarrassment. He should not be this jumpy.) "Lets hope all goes smoother this time around, right, Kyo?"

Kyo narrowed his eyes at the demeaning superior. His chest tightened. "Yes sir," he grumbled with a curt nod.

Tohru bit her lip at the exchange. Why did she have the feeling that her knight in shining armour was the underdog of this family?

"And this is the girl that has had Yuki in a daze all these weeks?" Akito, for the first time that the cousins could ever recall, smiled, at the girl.

Tohru blushed in embarrassment at the idea, but nodded feebly. Yuki also looked a little uncomfortable, and told her, "This is Akito Souma, Chief of Police."

Tohru gaped for a moment before lighting up like a Christmas tree, bowing profusely and explaining what a great honor it was to meet him. The three continued nervous (on her part) chatter.

For Kyo, he just wanted to get away desperately.

Akito was asking her about the classes she was taking at college. Tohru spoke of her art lessons, but the whole time she felt Kyo's eyes on her.

"I heard you two enjoyed the arts show downtown then?" Akito asked. When she nodded, he continued, "Shigure was able to get those tickets for Yuki, if I remember correctly."

"Yes, well," Shigure added, with a smug grin. "I have connections."

If Tohru didn't know any better Yuki was glaring at his cousin. She nodded, "Yes, I enjoyed it. There were some amazing pieces."

Akito smiled. "Good … so I'm assuming you'll be Yuki's date for the Officer's Formal next month?"

Tohru blushed at the idea. Firstly, Yuki hadn't mentioned anything about a formal dinner. Secondly, the idea sounded like a lot of fun. She might be able to get a second use out of her high school prom dress after all … Thirdly … she couldn't handle any new information at the moment.

Yuki frowned at the chief. "I was going to ask her myself, you know," he muttered. "You know, officially and whatnot."

As usual Yuki was becoming more glorified by the minute … and all Kyo could think of was how his failing grades were mentioned in front of her. And now they're talking about long-term commitments.

I can't stand this. He muttered something incoherent to Shigure and headed off to his desk, head low.

Shigure stared at his retreating cousin oddly. He was acting … mopey again.

Tohru noticed him leave as well … and her own stomach tied itself into a knot.

He sat down at his desk and checked the clock. It was already one thirty – his shift was over. Thank God – he stood up as quickly as he sat down, picking up his backpack from underneath his desk and filling it with his paperwork from the day. Unfortunately he hadn't packed as quickly as he should have; the 'happy couple' was already nearing.

" … need to get back to work, but I'll call you tonight?"

"S-Sure! Yeah, call me … "

From the corner of his eye Kyo watched them as he zipped his bag up.

Yuki gently cupped Tohru's face in his hands, smiling down at her. "Thank you for the lunch – I loved it."

Tohru blushed, biting her lip awkwardly, until Yuki leaned forward …

Kyo slammed his chair under his desk, causing the couple to jump before anything happened. "I'm done for the day," he announced over his shoulder.

"Oh!" Yuki looked down at his watch, eyes widening at the time. " Kyo could you show her the way out? I'm late for a meeting and you know how twisted the halls get."

Kyo grimaced and stood rigidly. Damn you, God! Taking a deep breath, he turned to the two – and saw Tohru's face. She looked scared. She was not looking forward to time alone with him after this awkward (for lack of a better term) clusterfuck of a love triangle, he knew that much. But how could he say no? He knew enough about the girl to realize she would get lost on the way out.

"Sure," he said through clenched teeth. "C'mon."

Yuki frowned – his cousin was being more annoying than usual.

Tohru nodded, and took a step forward – only to feel Yuki's lips on her cheek. "Bye, hon."

Quickly she turned back to him, laughing nervously and telling him, "Bye! See you later," she ended lamely. Looking ahead, she saw Kyo and his retreating back. She gulped and thought, This is hell.

8--8

The two entered the elevator – they were alone. Kyo pressed the main floor button and stood back in silence, trying to sort things out in his head.

Tohru on the other hand was shaking. The silence was killing her. Her eyes kept darting back to him and the elevator screen. Every time they reached another level her heart skipped a beat. Should they talk about this now? What if they didn't get another chance to? What if someone overheard, though? Were there cameras or microphones in the elevator?

Three floors of silence later, she finally said, "Um-"

"Not here."

She gulped, stung by his abrupt answer, and kept silent.

On the fourth floor down some officers boarded. Kyo took a step closer to Tohru – he knew these boys. They were a bit party-hardy … and known for hitting on anything with a chest. The moment they began to board they were already staring at the girl with a grin – but Kyo shifted towards her, throwing them a look. His arm brushed against hers and a chill went up his spine.

… and she got a whiff of him. He smelt … fresh. Like pine. Like he had been running in the forest for days on end ... or just used pine-scented soup. She closed her eyes and relished the smell, sighing before she could stop herself. He stared at her in surprise, and when she opened her eyes to his stare she turned away, embarrassed. This is hell, she thought again.

At long last the elevator reached the main floor. The men in uniform left first, then Kyo. She stepped out a while after he did. They would never have a chance to figure this all out. He was standing next to the exit already, pulling on his jacket and gloves. Tohru hadn't taken her coat off, so she simply dug out her toque and mitts and pulled them on. As she walked to the door, considering the idea of brushing him off forever and being done with it, she was surprised to see him hold the door for her. Glancing into his brown eyes for a moment, she nodded simple thanks and stepped out.

The storm had gotten worse. It was hard to see where your feet were going. She needed to get to the bus stop shelter – it was the only way she could get home without freezing – but she couldn't even see where the bus stop was. As she squinted against the cold, a gust of snow and icy harsh wind blew up and caused her to stop in her tracks, whimpering …

… a warm hand closed around hers. She looked up to see Kyo pulling her down the street, towards the bus stop. He had taken the bus for years – he knew where the little shelter was by heart. As he pulled her along the sidewalk he wasn't expecting a response …

She squeezed his hand back.

Wet snow had swirled up around the enclosure, creating a shadowed little room. The bus could come and go and they would barely notice. It was as private as the two could get.

Kyo pulled the hood of his jacket back, panting, cheeks red from the chill. Tohru coughed for a moment – the cold air had struck a nerve. They stood in silence for a moment, both catching their breath.

Finally she looked up at him defiantly. She wasn't going to 'brush this off' – if she didn't get closure she would go crazy. Boldly she said, "So."

Kyo looked over at her – his eyes were so warm she jerked a tad at his direct stare. He almost admired her attempt and acting stubborn ... but unknowingly he felt the same as her. They needed to clear everything up ...

He sighed, running his hand through his hair. " … you know … "

She raised her eyebrows expectantly.

"Those grades Shigure was talking about?"

Slowly, she nodded. This wasn't what she was 'so'ing about.

"I've been taking those tests for the last four years."

Can I ask you a question please?

Promise you won't laugh at me

Honestly I'm standing here

Afraid I'll be betrayed

Her eyes widened – but she said nothing.

Kyo, unable to look at her, turned towards the snow-covered wall of the stall. "I've failed very time, each year getting that much closer to a pass, but never making it. I'm in the same class as kids that are entering high school, for fucks sake!" He suddenly punched the glass wall in frustration, causing Tohru to jump. Instantly he regretted this decision … but turned back to face her. Her heart gave a jump when she saw the pain in his eyes.

"Yuki made it on the first try."

Her heart twisted. So she hadn't been imagining it before; when they had been talking with the chief it didn't simply seem like Yuki was being put on a pedastel ... he really was. And Kyo was the underdog.

"He was always better than me; at having the best grades, the best report card in school, the best family at home, the best home … and a month ago," he gulped. "I just wanted to try it. See what it was like to … to be Yuki for a day. To see if it was worth it."

Silence.

Tohru suddenly took in the gravity of the situation. "You wore Yuki's uniform?"

Kyo nodded gravely.

Her jaw dropped. "That's why … why Yuki showed up. Because it was his badge number."

More slowly, Kyo nodded.

As twisted as it seems

I only feel love when it's in my dreams

So let in the morning light

Let the darkness fade away

"And Shigure wouldn't know any better – he would think the hat was his because – well, it is his … but that wasn't the boy I met that day."

Kyo, feeling a bit weak, sat down on the bench, holding his head in his hands.

Can you turn my black roses red?

Can you turn my black roses red?

Tohru stared at the walls outside in shock. She couldn't think of anything to say. Nothing positive, anyway. " … Impersonating an officer could – well, put you in jail!" she squeaked.

"Don't you think I realize that?" he groaned from his hands.

Staring down at his fallen form, she did realize that. That's why he's been so scared around her. He put everything on the line that day because of a stupid whim … even by saving her. And it was tearing him up.

He kept moaning. "Ugh – I wish I hadn't of done it – how could I have been so stupid-"

She frowned and stepped towards him. "Kyo ..."

The way she said his name caused his heart so skip a beat (because it was the first time those lips ever spoke his name), and he looked up when he felt her hands on his knees. She was kneeling before him, staring up at him with pleading eyes. She felt bad for his predicament but he took it differently.

His expression softened. "Oh, Tohru," he said (another first) and he quickly placed his hands over hers. "I didn't mean ... I regretted saving you ... I could never say that-"

Drowning in my loneliness

How long must I hold my breath?

So much emptiness inside

I could fill the deepest sea

Tohru shook her head. "No, Kyo," she interrupted. "I am … so grateful," her voice broke down to a whisper, "that you were there that day. If that means we have to keep quiet, I don't care. I'm so glad I met you that day."

He stared at her, eyebrows drawing a bit in confusion. But her lips wouldn't stop. They continued to blabber on … and even though the voice in her head that had been ruling her actions for the past month was protesting, her heart was feeling freer with every word …

"I never would have met you if you hadn't done that, I wouldn't have- … have gotten that wonderful mixed CD, or been able to paint that gorgeous picture, or anything if you hadn't done that! Please, please," she suddenly took hold of one of his hands, much to his (and her own) surprise. "Don't feel bad about that day."

He stared at her blankly – totally unsure as to what to do … she stared up at him so hopefully … like she cared … no one had ever looked at him that way … or at least, not for a very long time …

She finally pulled her gaze away from his, embarrassed for what she had said. Dear God, what had gotten into her-?

Suddenly there was a hand on the back of her head.

He gripped a fistful of her soft hair, pulling her forward.

And pressed his lips against her forehead.

I reach to the sky as the moon looks on

My one last tear has come and gone

Time to let you love rain down

On me ...

She gasped for a moment, frozen in place – before she could sink into the glorious feeling he pulled back, staring into her eyes.

In a low voice he told her, "I'll never regret meeting you, Tohru," pressing his forehead against hers.

All she could do was stare.

He pulled his eyes away, looking out the door. "Your bus is here."

She gaped, closing her mouth over and over again like a goldfish, speechless.

"Tohru, get on."

"Ah-"

"There won't be another one for an hour. Get on! Do you want to freeze?" he tried to sound light and joking. "Yuki would kill me if his girlfriend turned into an icicle..."

He stood up and took hold of her arms, pulling her to her feet. He almost had her outside the stall, but she gripped the wall and stopped. "Kyo!"

Kyo looked back at her. Panting, she asked, "U-Umm ... "

He raised his eyebrows, waiting.

Tohru's chest pounded. "For what its worth ..." she said. "I still want to be your friend."

Can you turn my black roses red?

Can you turn my black roses red ...

Cause I feel like, I've never known love

I feel like

I've never known love ...

I feel like

I've never known

Love ...

The idea of being in her friend-zone twisted his insides ... but he was a good actor. The idea of being near her seemed (at the moment) good enough ... he might be able to get over her that way ... he nodded. "I'd like that."

Tohru smiled, happy ... and in her glee she suddenly threw her arms around his neck and squeezed him tight.

His breath caught in his throat, heat rushing to his face, and didn't even have a chance to hug her back when the bus driver honked.

She pulled away, smiling ... but with a few tears in her eyes. She quickly waved to the dumbstruck boy and hopped onto the bus. She didn't need to say anything else ... they both knew how it would be.

She would stay with Yuki, he would stay with his dream career … no one would ever know. The only way they knew each other was that she was his cousins girlfriend.

When she sat down all she could see of him was a shadow in the snow. And soon, he was gone.