(Been while since I updated this, what with some parodies or Fics being deleted but that was because of Script format)

(Ray: Well, thank goodness it wasn't THIS fic, otherwise we the guys at Fictional Science Theater wouldn't have a job.)

(Hellboy: We're doing this for free, Ray.)

(Ray: DON'T remind me.)

Ever since The Warriors had begun their training in the parallel dimensions, Drake was slowly getting Hanabi closer to him.

(Homer: Last time she was five feet away from him, now it's five INCHES.)

Everyone has been non stop preparing for the battle against Drake and his enforcers. It had already been six days since they begun, and at Omega Mountain, Drake was in his dojo sparing with Anti-Airnaruto, while Hanabi watched form the sidelines cheering drake like she was his little cheerleader.

(Chad Vader: Miss Hyuga forgot her pom-poms and team colors, but pay no mind to that.)

Drake was panting heavily, he'd never trained so hard in his whole life, "This is definitely not like training to fight Digimon or Spirit Warriors."

"Let's see you dodge this boss." Anti-Airnaruto formed some hand signs, "Fire Style; Phoenix Flower Jutsu!" he fired numerous fireballs.

"Darkness Style; Smoke burst!" Drake then poofed into dark smoke causing the fireballs to miss and the smoke reformed his body

(Hellboy: It took a MILLION Cuban Cigars to get this jutsu right!)

"Way to go Drake-kun!" Hanabi cheered from the sidelines.

"Darkness Style; Shroud!" Drake shouted and the whole Dojo filled with Darkness.

(Ray: You didn't hear me. I asked for you to drop the shrouds! It's DARK in here!)

Anti-Airnaruto found himself surrounded in Dark and not knowing where Drake will strike.

"Only one way to find him now, Earth Style; Earth Shake Jutsu!" he shouts causing the ground he was standing on to vibrate hoping to disrupt Drake's jutsu. "It's not working."

"Maybe that's because my feet aren't on the ground!" Drake shouted from the dark and Anti-Airnaruto was spin kicked and rolled across the ground.

(Homer: Who are you? Spider-Man?)

Drake put his foot onto Anti-Airnaruto's chest and pointed a dark sword made out of smoke extending from his palm, "Submit!"

"I do." Anti-Airnaruto gives in.

(Ray: He meant to say 'I do believe it should be the name of a Muslim Rock Band'.)

Drake smirks and drops the Darkness around them. Hanabi rushes to Drake and hugs him, and offers him his sports bottle of Gatorade. Then Drake tosses another bottle to Anti-Airnaruto.

"That's enough for now, I think we've learned enough." Drake pants.

(Homer: We learned that smuggling Gatorade was a good idea!)

"Yeah those last six days of this kinda training was tough for me as it was you." The Anti pants.

"Well you can be sure the Warriors have been training harder than we have, but no matter when it's time they'll come to us." Drake says.

"And when they do…" Hanabi began.

"Our reign will begin." Drake finishes holding her close.

(Chad Vader: I only trust other Lords of the Sith to talk about the reigns of darkness.)

Meanwhile back at Authors H.Q they were all still working out in their workout room with D.M working on his magic, Airnaruto on his Jutsus, Shelby and Jose on their Fire Shots, Ross on his Pokemon abilities, and Ranger with his sword skills.

"Should be almost time for the guys to be released." D.M said using another Dark Magic attack on some moving targets

(Ray: Their jail sentence is just about up.)

"Sure hope your boys know what they're getting themselves into boss." Airnaruto says

"I have faith in my partner and his friends." D.M reminds him.

"Well I hope so because before this mission takes off Lady Tsunade's gonna put them through a test." Airnaruto tells his boss.

"Test?" Ranger wondered.

(Homer: Another driver's test? They failed it six times already!)

"Yep she's gonna put them up against some of the Konoha rookies." The Author Ninja explains.

"Well I'm sure they can hold there own." D.M said but then heard a ringing from his staff. He turns it into a cell phone and speaks, "Yes, Hime? Now? OK, we'll be right over."

(Hellboy: AGAIN with New Moon…let it die already!)

He hangs up, "It's time." he said as all Author headed for their labs portal generator started up by Wormtail and they headed for Konoha.

When the Authors made it to Konoha they went into the Hokage's office where Kakashi, Naruto, Sakura, and Hikari were waiting for them along with the Hokage herself.

(Ray: They were talking about whether to allow sex ed in Konoha training schools…)

"Good to see you all made it." Tsunade said, "Let's go give our warriors a welcome back." She said taking out a bottle of sake.

"What're you gonna do with that?" Jose asks.

"You'll find out." She says as they began their way to the memorial stone.

(Homer: I'll bust it on your head if you don't shut up, though.)

When they got there she opened the secret passage up and they walked down the stairs leading to all the tunnels with the three selective tunnels still in use.

Tsunade walked up and formed the Ram hand sign, "Kai!" she shouts and the tunnels barriers dropped leaving them open.

(Hellboy: And to her surprise, she sees a hairy man taking a shower shrieking in surprise at the intrusion.)

They heard faint footsteps coming from the tunnels that started getting louder as they were getting closer, they waited but when the Warriors came out they grew disgusted and sick looks. The three young men that emerged from the tunnels were in fact Brian, Flint, and Carl but their hair extended past their shoulders, and had scraggily beards like hobos.

(Homer: Can't we eat our canned foods in peace?)

"Hey guys we're back." Brian said.

"What happened in there?" Ross asks

"Well time passed faster so you imagine some of our facial features have grown out." Flint explains scratching his beard.

(Chad Vader: Now are you ready for that driver's exam?)

Suddenly Carl stepped into the light along with his pals and their stomachs rumbled as loud as Naruto's.

"OH GOD!" Carl dropped to his knees clutching at his stomach.

(Ray: I'm so CONSTIPATED! This is what happens when you hold it in for a couple years!)

"What's going on!?" Brian groaned.

"Did I forget to mention that the dimension may have shut down your hunger and thirst, but when you leave it all comes back." Tsunade explains with a smug.

"Little late for the warning." Brian groans.

"I need something to drink, or else I'm gonna die!" Carl shouts.

(Hellboy: Do us all a favor, rapper.)

"Oh boys." Tsunade said seductively as she reached into her outfit and pulled out the bottle of sake which got the boys to go wide eye.

"Is that Sake in your hands?" Flint asked with determination in his eyes.

"Maybe." She said playfully.

(Hellboy: You're all wrong. It's Krusty-brand corn syrup.)

(Homer: Mmm…syrup…)

"Get it!" Brian screams as him, Flint, and Carl jump at her to try and grab it.

Soon everyone stood by as they watched Brian, Flint, and Carl jump at Tsunade try to grab the Sake bottle.

"Well at least they're keeping us entertained." Naruto said.

"Isn't that mean?" Colette asks.

"Don't worry sensei did the same thing to me when I began training under her wing." Hikari said.

(Homer: Mmm…wings…)

"Did you ever get the bottle?" D.M asked.

"Yes after two hours, I finally got it by pulling the old Duck Season Rabbit Season bit on her." She explains.

"Oh so you two did something like ask her to give it to her and she refused, and after constant back and forth asking, you flip-flopped it and she ended up giving it to you?" Wormtail asked.

"You are the smart one." Hikari said.

(Ray: After Mr. Fudd blew her face to the other side of her head.)

About an hour later the boys started working together on getting the bottle, but didn't want to use their Jutsus just yet. But when the decided to work together on this time around she smirked and tossed it in the air, "Jump for it!" she says.

"Grab it!" Carl shouts and all three grab the bottle and landed on the ground.

Brian pops the cork, "ME!" he shouts while chugging some of it down.

"ME!" Carl then takes it and chugs some down.

"YOU?!" Flint asks as he took the bottle and chugs the rest of it down.

(Hellboy: That bottle's as safe as a beer at an AA meeting.)

"Well boys you learned about teamwork, which is one of the basic codes of the ninja." Kakashi explained, "Those who do break rules are scum, but those who abandon their teammates are lower than scum."

(Homer: Lower than scum? So…they're Bin Laden level?)

"Ain't it the truth." Ross said.

"Ok now that our thirst is satisfied, can somebody get us a shave and a hair cut… Don't finish my sentence." Brian says not wanting anyone to say the joke.

"Yeah we look like Saddam after he was found." Flint said.

(Ray: Or Nick Nolte after a beer run, one of the two I'm sure.)

"Leave that to me." D.M said raising his staff and soon their beards were perfectly shaven, and their hair length was shortened to how it was before they entered the tunnels.

"Thanks DarkMagicianmon." Brian thanks him.

"No problem partner."

(Homer: Can you put Carl back? I kinda liked the Taliban look.)

"Now is there anyplace we can get some grindage, I'm starving." Carl groans from starvation.

"Leave that to me guys." Naruto said.

(Chad Vader: Naruto knows a good Tex Mex place right across the street.)

"Naruto you're not taking them to Ichiraku are you?" Sakura asks.

"What it's time for what we call cultural exchange." Naruto said leading the three starving boys out of the training ground and across the village to his favorite food spot.

"Hey Teuchi how're things?" Naruto asked the old man.

"Great Naruto, who're your friends?" he asked

(Ray: Oh, they're just hobos. Ignore them.)

"These are a couple of my pals, Brian, Flint, and Carl." He introduces them.

"Hi." Brian greets.

"Greetings." Flint says.

"Sup?" Carl asks

Then the young waitress who happened to be the old man's daughter came up, "Nice to meet you, I'm Ayame."

"Likewise." Carl said grinning like a fox.

(Homer: He's eyeing the can of Duff right behind the attractive waitress.)

"So what'll it be gents?" Teuchi asks.

"A couple extra of the usual I get, for me and my pals."

"Coming right up." Teuchi said as him and his daughter got to work.

Soon enough the four customers were chowing down as fast as the speed of sound but it was certain that the three men were eating faster than Naruto. After an hour the table was filled with four dozens of empty bowls and the four customers were laying back stuffed.

(Hellboy: Eat, fellow warriors. For tomorrow, we DIE.)

"That was good." Brian says.

"I'm stuffed." Flint adds.

"I'm very satisfied." Carl burps, "Excuse me."

"Looks like we should all chip in on this one, it's only fair." Flint said reaching into his wallet but was stopped by Naruto.

"I gotcha boys covered." Naruto said pulling out his fat Froggy wallet.

"Thanks Nar, you're a pal." Brian said.

"Don't mention it." Naruto said.

(Ray: Seriously, don't mention it. I don't want my friends to know about this. They'll think I'm generous, GAY even!)

Suddenly the Hokage, and Authors appeared behind them, "Well if you boys are done stuffing your faces, it's time we put your skills to the test." The Hokage said.

"Test?" They asked.

(Homer: Yeah, your arithmetic test. You already failed the driving test.)

"Of course, we can't just send you out on this mission without first seeing what you're capable of." Tsunade says.

"Somehow I saw this coming." Flint said.

"So who're we getting paired to fight against?" Brian asked.

"Follow us, we already have a field set up for you three." Hikari said as they began tracking it back to the same training ground Naruto and his team fought Kakashi.

There waiting for them were the council and Danzo, many Chunin like Izumo, Kotetsu, and Iruka, and Jonin like Kakashi, Anko, Kurenai, Asuma, Guy, Ibiki, even the head of the clans Hyuga, Inuzuka, Akimichi, Nara, Yamanaka, and Aburame.

"Why're so many people here?" Brian asks.

(Hellboy: You're doing stand-up comedy. These guys could USE a good laugh.)

"Well it's not everyday, the people of Konoha get to see Spirit Warriors in combat." Tsunade states.

Then a Jonin with a long toothpick sticking out of his mouth came up to the three and shook each of their hands, "Please to meet you three I am Genma Shiranui; the proctor of your matches."

(Ray: Oh yeah, that guy no one cares about who looks drugged.)

"Pleasure is all ours." Brian bows his head along with his boys.

"Good day people of Konoha." Tsunade announces to the spectators, "I Tsunade of the Sannin and Fifth Hokage welcome you to the match of the three Spirit Warriors, Brian. K, Flint Horizaku, and Carl Hiroshi!"

Every spectator cheered them on and they waved and bowed while Carl seemed to really enjoy the attention.

(Hellboy: Much like Michael Jackson.)

"Ok boys DarkMagicianmon told me much of your strengths and weakness', and we've paired you guys up to might some rookies who would perfectly match you." Genma told the three.

"Excellent." They said like Wayne and Garth.

(Ray: Why can't they be like Bill and Marty on KBBL?)

"Before we do begin do you three have any requests?" Tsunade asks.

"Yeah, tell that Cyclops to keep that headband down and not copy our Jutsus!" Carl said while pointing to Kakashi.

"Probably still mad at you for pulling that stunt." Asuma whispered to Kakashi.

(Homer: Cheating at chess was the last thing you should've done.)

"Alright the first Warrior up is Carl Hiroshi!" Genma calls.

Everyone in the crowd looked at Carl who was smirking, "I'm gonna bust some skulls!" he said in a sing-song while punching his palms.

(Homer: I got a skull!)

(Hellboy: You trying to get killed, Simpson?)

"Judging from that data DarkMagicianmon gave us you are known to use brute force and physical strength so we've chosen your opponents to be…Chouji Akimichi and Kiba Inuzuka. Will the participants come forth?" Genma calls.

So all three participants made their way to the arena and took their positions.

"You ready Chouji?" Kiba asked.

"You bet I had an extra bit of lunch to get pumped up." Chouji says.

(Chad Vader: I take it they took the Power Bars you used to devour, Commander Simpson?)

(Homer: Those were fakes and you know it!)

"So I'm fighting you two, even the dog?" Carl asks

"That's right, problem?" Kiba asked with a little scowl thinking he's a dog hater.

"No problem at all." Carl says getting into a stance.

(Hellboy: Actually, you have an advantage, dog-boy. Carl's allergic to your pup.)

"Al right then, if all challengers are ready, let the match begin!" Genma calls.

Both Kiba and Chouji jump to two opposite sides of Carl, "Ninja Art Beast Mimicry; All Fours Jutsu!" Kiba calls as he becomes more canine like and stands on all four. "Now for the second part, Man Beast Clone!" he shouts and Akamaru turns into another Kiba.

(Ray: Beast clones for pets, just imagine the bathroom limits at apartments.)

"Ninja Art; Expansion Jutsu!" Chouji calls as his body inflates like a balloon and rolled like a bounder in an Indiana Jones movie.

"Nice tricks kids, but I got one for ya." Carl said forming some hand signs, "Lightning Style; Lightning Clones!" suddenly electricity flowed out of Carl's arms and from them appeared three Yellow electrical clones of Carl. "Like them, these are my Lightning Clones, by focusing my image in the form of lightning I can conjure up as many of these handsome devils as I want." He explains.

(Hellboy: Handsome devils? You talkin' to me?)

"We'll still stop you, Fang over Fang!" Kiba and Akamaru shout as they do their spinning combo on Carl and his clones.

The clones burst into lightning bolts which zapped Kiba and Akamaru. "Did I forget to mention destroying them will zap you back." Carl chuckles.

Carl heard rumbling and saw boulder Chouji heading right for him, rather than move he stood his ground.

(Homer: That was how Indiana Jones REALLY met his end!)

"What's he doing, he'll get crushed." Tenten said.

"Remember what Genma said about Carl Tenten, he uses Physical strength." Guy explains.

As the Human Boulder was right on Carl, he held it back using his bare hands.

"What a catch." Sakura said in awe.

"He's strong." Naruto said.

(Ray: No, he's overweight. Chouji's met someone heavier than himself, though the fat doesn't show on Carl for some reason.)

As Chouji forced himself forward to plow Carl down, Carl's heels were digging into the earth to keep him from moving back.

"You're really persistent Chou." Carl says gripping onto Chouji's boulder form.

"Kiba! Akamaru! now!" Chouji calls from inside his body.

Carl turned his head still holding onto his grip of Chouji to see Kiba and Akamaru in their Spinning combo ready to attack from behind.

(Chad Vader: Spinning, eh? Just imagine what happens when the motion sickness kicks in.)

"We gotcha now." Kiba tells Carl.

"Not quite." Carl began, "Lightning burst!" Carl shouted as his body burst into lightning.

And with Carl gone Chouji with all his extra forced rolled forward in fast pace, while Kiba and Akamaru couldn't cancel their attack all three crashed into each other.

(Homer: The REAL Crash Test Dummies, hehehehe…*clunk* D'OH!)

"Where'd Carl go?" Flint asked.

Suddenly the little bolts of lightning that burst from Carl's body came together and reconstructed his body.

"That had to hurt, I figured you'd try and trap me in a position where you could attack me from behind, but I learned to watch my backside." Carl told them.

(Ray: So, what happened? Did he turn into lightning or learn the true power of Energizer?)

Brian and Flint chuckled at that knowing he had to have learned something from Kakashi's little stunt.

"By using my burst technique I can break down my body into electrical particles and reassemble myself back together again." Carl explains.

(Hellboy: Shoulda gone with the Energizer trick. It's more subtle.)

"Well I'm impressed he managed to hold Chouji back." Asuma said.

"I didn't think anybody had that kinda strength to do so." Shikamaru said.

"His strength is almost unbelievable." Ino added.

"He's got guts I'll give him that." Tsunade said never knowing someone could have strength like hers.

(Chad Vader: Intestines, Heart, Kidneys, Liver, the whole kit and caboodle.)

"Kiba has to realize he's not fighting an ordinary sparring partner, but someone who was trained in the Raiton Tunnel." Kurenai said fearing that Kiba might be cocky as before.

(Ray: What? I don't have a ton tunnel.)

(Chad Vader: She's talking about the Lightning-Style tunnel.)

"Yes otherwise he'll lose." Shino added.

"Just remember this is just a practice, so it doesn't matter who wins or loses." Asuma reminds them.

(Homer: Whoever wins owes us money, though.)

"Right, so if Kiba loses it won't matter." Hinata says.

Kiba and Chouji get on their feet, "Come on you two let's focus." Kiba said.

"Right!"

"Arf!"

"Alright you two, let me show you another one." Carl formed hand signs.

(Hellboy: Another battery commercial jutsu? That stinks.)

"Don't let him complete his Jutsu!" Kiba called as his Akamaru-Kiba charged for him.

As Akamaru was closing in on Carl he just finished his Jutsu, "Lightning Whip!" he calls as a yellow energy whip extends from his sleeve and he catches Akamaru by the arm.

"Akamaru hang on!" Kiba calls rushing to help his companion but a second whip extending out of Carl's other sleeve came out and he used his other arm to catch Kiba.

(Chad Vader: So now the story has changed to "A Sith Gone Fishing"?)

"Gotcha!" Carl calls as he twirls his whips around until he releases the two sending them hurdling away until Chouji uses his Partial Expansion Jutsu to make his arms making them bigger and caught both of them.

"Thanks Chouji!" Kiba calls.

(Homer: Well, the crowd was asking for a big hand, so…)

"No problem, now come on we still have a shot." Chouji calls as he uses his family's Super Expansion Jutsu and becomes a giant.

"It's now or never Akamaru, Inuzuka Style; Rare Beast Transformation!" Kiba shouts as he combines with Akamaru to form a giant two-headed Akamaru.

"Now he's in for it." Kakashi tells Brian and Flint.

(Ray: He's made the Green Berets mad.)

(Hellboy: Happened to me once. It was NOT pretty.)

"Well he's not out yet." Brian says.

"Carl has been really holding up against those two." Airnaruto says in amazement.

"That's our dawg for ya." Brian tells him.

(Homer: HEY! Akamaru's that kid's dog! Go get one of your own!)

"Yeah I haven't seen him fight this hard since he fought Saggimon who was commanding a squad of Golemon." D.M explains.

"Al right Carl, how 'bout you wrap this up?" Brian calls from the sides.

(Ray: Okay, man. But wouldn't it just be easier to finish the job?)

"Fine by me." Carl says as he does some hand signs, "Lightning Clone Jutsu!" he summons a dozen of Lightning Clones.

"Come on Kiba!" Chouji shouts as him and the two headed Akamaru head for Carl.

Suddenly Carl began doing three hand signs which got Kakashi and every other ninja wide eyed.

"He's using it!" Kakashi cries.

(Hellboy: Kakashi just spotted a PSP advance in Carl's pocket and wonders why HE doesn't have one.)

Yes, Carl was forming a Chidori in the palm of his right hand, and suddenly his dozens of clones burst into Electricity and were absorbed into his palm increasing the Chidori's power.

"Kakashi sensei, would he really use that technique on them?" Sakura asked.

(Homer: Yes. He got dissed at Olive Garden by Chouji.)

"I don't know Sakura." Her sensei says.

"Genma you have to call the match immediately!" Koharu commands him.

"Sorry lady Koharu but I am ordered by the Hokage, only she can give me the order." Genma reminds the elder.

(Homer: She's been reading the menu since the whole thing started and she still hasn't ordered yet.)

"Tsunade, stop him before he hurts them." Homura commands her.

"Not yet." She replies wondering if Carl really would use that assassination technique on them.

The two elders were worried while Danzo smirked knowing that if Carl kills them then he'll be put to death and they won't trust the other two, thus leaving the Root Anbu as their only option.

(Ray doing Danzo: All those mo-****.)

With a full powered Chidori in his palm Carl runs at both of them tearing up the ground, while Chouji and the giant Akamaru get ready to slam him in the ground. Everyone was watching with excitement, and anticipation as they saw the combatants getting closer without letting up, until finally Carl flung his arm forward but aimed it at the ground causing an explosion in the earth.

(Hellboy: Well, looks like I didn't bring about the end of the world. This guy-)

Everyone took cover to avoid anything that could harm them, and when they came out from cover they looked and saw Kiba, Akamaru, and Chouji on their backs, with Carl on opposite end down on one knee but still conscious.

(Hellboy: Oh, dang it. No one ever ends the world…)

Genma then looks at the three and came to a decision, "Due to extreme exhaustion Kiba and Chouji are unable to continue, the winner is Carl Hiroshi!" Genma declares.

Everyone looked at the exhausted Warrior until Hiashi slowly clapped followed by many of the other clan heads, and then all the Chunin and Jonin. At first Koharu and Homura were hesitant but applauded none the less, if Danzo had two arms he still wouldn't clap knowing it didn't go how he wanted it to.

(Ray: I won't clap for that mo-****)

"Way to go Carl!" Brian calls from the sides as Carl was doing a victory dance.

Carl was then approached by Asuma, Kurenai, Chouza Akimichi, and Tsume Inuzuka.

"Sorry I roughed up your students and sons." Carl apologizes.

"No harm done, point is all of you earned something from this match." Chouza said.

(Homer: Meet me in the back alley so I can break your thumbs…

"Yeah and hopefully my son will know not to underestimate anyone." Tsume added.

"I admit you two trained some promising fighters." Carl tells their sensei's.

"Thank you." They said.

(Chad Vader: We'll still be breaking some part of your body.)

Hiashi who was still with the other clan heads smiled knowing that Carl will be of great helping in saving his daughter.

(Don't miss next time where Brian and Flint display some of their new skills, and the only Jutsu I don't own is Chidori and Chouji's and Kiba's family Jutsus.)

(Ray: So, that's that. Kiba and Choji fans watch their heroes get the living tar beat out of them.)