A/N : Again, thank you for the reviews, they keep me going. They are very much appreciated.
I do not own Pitch Perfect.
Beca's POV
I'm tired. I'm very tired. I don't want to hurt anymore. I don't want to cry myself to sleep anymore. I want to stop hurting every time I think about Chloe. I know I was the one who suggested that we pretend to not know about their secret, but I still haven't faced Chloe yet. I have been avoiding her for the past two weeks because I still break down at the mere mention of her name. Everything hurts but I miss her so much.
I know that Stacie has been avoiding Aubrey because she goes straight home after her classes or work. I could see from the look in her eyes that she's still berating herself for what has happened to us, but I don't really blame her. It pains me every night when I hear her cry herself to sleep after coming home very drunk.
I honestly don't know what to do anymore. All the thinking is only making me hurt more so I decided to get out of the apartment for a breather. I was wandering around, just letting my feet take me to places, trying so hard to forget about everything if even for a moment. I was surprised when, moments later, I found myself standing at our spot.
I walk slowly to the edge of the lake, removing my shoes to let my feet soak in the water. The coolness of the water and the beautiful scenery instantly melted away all the stress and worries I felt. I let myself lie down on the grass-covered ground and closed my eyes as I relish the feeling of comfort and peace that washed over me.
"Hey," I hear a voice softly call out near me. I could hear footsteps coming closer to where I was lying followed by someone sitting beside me on the grass. My heart was beating like I just ran miles and every beat felt like my heart was being squeezed dry of blood. I was panicking internally because, fuck, I'm so not ready to face her yet. I don't answer her, I just remained still with my eyes still closed.
"Beca? Hey, are you awake?" Still, I don't answer her. She let out a loud sigh as I felt her taking hold of my hand.
"You've been avoiding me. Did I do something wrong? Please tell me so that I can fix it, whatever it is. Please Bec." She sounded genuinely upset that I couldn't help but open my eyes and look at her. Her cerulean blue eyes were shining with unshed tears and they looked so sad. Even her chin was slightly quivering. She looked like she was about to cry. Still, she looks as breathtakingly gorgeous as ever.
Why do you have to do this to me Chloe? I should hate you right after everything you did, but why am I being upset at myself for making you cry? You're confusing me here Red. Why are you acting like you actually care about me when it's already clear to me that you're only going to hurt me? You're not making sense, yet I still love you.
The tears started to flow down her rosy cheeks and I hastily sat up, holding her face in my hands and wiping them away. Chloe leaned in to my touch and she put her hands over mine. I felt my own eyes start to tear up and I didn't even try to stop them from falling. It was her turn to wipe them away.
"Why are you crying Bec?" she asked worriedly. I shook my head, opting instead to put my arms around her in a tight embrace. "I wasn't avoiding you. I just simply had a lot going on that needed a lot of thinking by myself," I whisper in her ear. She hugged me tighter before letting go only to pull me down with her so that we were lying on the ground. I looked up at the sky as I tried to commit this moment in my memory.
I scooted closer to her before turning on my side so that I could see her beautiful face. She did the same and I found her very blue eyes staring back at me. I reached up to touch her face, letting my fingers ghost over her eyelids, her nose, and her lips. My chest hurt again because I know that this beautiful person can never be mine. I close my eyes to prevent oncoming tears from falling as I inched my face closer to hers and pressed my lips against her forehead. I love you so, so much Chloe.
I pulled back and rested my head on her chest, letting the feeling of her rhythmic heartbeat drown everything else, and I found myself drifting off to dream land in a matter of seconds.
Stacie's POV
I hate that I feel so miserable right now. I am the worst friend ever. I have been a miserable friend to Kayla and now she's taken her revenge on me and hurt not only me, but Beca as well. And, I'm never good enough. I wasn't good enough for Courtney years ago, I'm not good enough for Aubrey now. Can I really do this? Can I really just ignore the fact that she's only using me to make her ex jealous just to not lose her, but I know that she'll never be mine in the end?
I toss and turn in my bed, trying so hard to fall asleep because I have never had any good night's sleep for the past two weeks without the aid of alcohol. When I still couldn't fall asleep, I got up from bed and looked at the time. It's pretty late but I still took my keys with me as I put on my running shoes and got out of the apartment, hoping that a jog could help me.
I went to the park where Aubrey and I always went to and ran a few laps. I stopped and sat down on a nearby bench when I was tired and just looked up at the stars. I couldn't help but admire their beauty.
I sigh as I stood up to go home. It feels like I have been gone for hours because I could see the dawn breaking out in the sky. I froze in my place when I heard a familiar voice and I saw Aubrey talking to Luke as the two of them approached the bench I have been sitting on. I quickly go to a part of the park where they couldn't see me.
"C'mon Aubrey. What else do you want me to do? I already told you that I was sorry for breaking up with you. I still love you, and I know you still love me too. Let's get back together," I hear him say to her.
"Luke, I told you, I still have to think about it, and I told you to give me time until Chloe's party. Now, I went out for an early morning jog, alone. Can you please leave me for now?" I hear him sigh and I peeked to see him standing up.
"Can I kiss you?" I can see a faint smile on Aubrey's face as she rolled her eyes playfully and stood up as well, planting a soft, chaste kiss on his lips. It felt like my chest was run over by a rushing truck as I turned around and quickly walked away, hastily wiping away tears as they fell from my eyes.
I can't take it. I'm so sorry Beca, I don't want to lose Aubrey but I have a feeling that losing her is inevitable. I love her but I can't take it if I have to see her be in love with someone else every day. I'm sorry but I think I have to leave.
