Let's Play Dark Souls!

Summary: Sora, Riku and Kairi play one of the hardest games out there! What can possibly go wrong!?

Chapter 8

New Londo…

Kairi: 'I think…we should all take the time, to reflect on our choices…and be mature enough to say, "I made a mistake", and I believe, if we all come to an agreement'.

Riku: 'Oh for god sake! *YOU* fucked up! You destroyed the booby lady, brought the darkness to Anor Londo, and NOW we have a cult trying to kill us!'.

Kairi: 'W-Well! I believe in my stance she was an evil being that was using the light to trick people! Therefore, she was evil!'.

Riku: 'You were jealous because her boobs were bigger than yours! And out of spite, you wanted her dead!'.

Kairi: '*Gasp! * HOW DARE YOU! You think I'M that shallow!?'.

Riku: 'I think you're that vain!'.

Sora had been incredibly quiet during the whole argument, watching them argue back and forth while he was upgrading his stuff in his world. So far, he managed to upgrade his drake sword to full along with Havel's shield, and the Havel armour set. He used what souls he managed to save up and used the boss souls to gain him a tower full of souls to upgrade his character.

Now, he was literally a breathing tank. Except he can now run!

Kairi and Riku were supposed to do the same, but…

Riku: 'Because of you, we're gonna be invaded more regularly than Roxas eats Ice Cream!'.

Kairi: 'OH like you're a shining example of humility!? Who's died more often because of their cockiness?'.

Riku: 'Me but that's not the point!'.

Kairi: 'THAT IS ENTIRELY THE POINT!'.

Eventually Sora returned the Firelink Shrine to wait for the other two, who were still bickering. In the end, he was dragged in.

Riku: 'Sora what do you think?'.

Sora: 'Well, Kairi has one advantage over the giant booby lady'.

Kairi: '…which is?'.

Sora: 'Yours are real :3'.

There was a distinct silence between the trio, no one had dared to say a word as Sora's words hung in the air. Then, Kairi went mute on her side, to which Sora began to panic. However, he got a text from Naminé.

Naminé: 'Kairi's rolling on the floor hugging that plushie squealing like a kid! What happened!?'.

Riku: 'Sora complimented her assets'.

Naminé: 'Ahh, smooth'.

One Squeal Session later…

Riku: 'Ya done?'.

Kairi: 'For now, anyways! Our new goal is to find the Lord Souls, then we can replace Gwyn and restore the fire!'.

Riku: '…I'm still picking the evil ending'.

Sora: 'Aren't they the both evil endings?'.

Kairi: 'A matter of perspective! But the point is, we need to find them, kill them, and take their souls!'.

Sora: 'Oh good…simple stuff!'.

Riku: 'Hardly...'.

Sora: 'So where do we go first?'.

Kairi: 'Well according to the Wiki, we have to go back to Anor Londo-

Sora/Riku: 'NEXT!'.

Kairi: 'I love you boys. Other than that, we can go back to Lost Izalith'.

Riku: 'Where's that?'.

Kairi: 'Hell…remember that hell in spider lady's place?'.

Sora: 'NEXT!'.

Kairi: 'Okay, we have New Londo Ruins, its right below us'.

Riku: 'Wait, New Londo…like a new Anor Londo?'.

Kairi: 'No no, its an… *does a quick wiki look* Uhh… Basically we go there next!'.

Sora: 'So whose there?'.

Kairi: 'The Four Kings…'.

New Londo Ruins

After one very long elevator ride, to which they were all checking their gear, they finally arrived to New Londo at long last. A city that was flooded with crumbling buildings, and likely scary monsters.

Sora: 'This place is slightly less depressing than Blighttown'.

Riku: 'Yeah…least there's no poison swamps!'.

Kairi: 'Y-Yeah…but there's bound to be SOMETHING super spooky!'.

They explored the ruined town, crossing the flimsy wooden bridges that were drenched with the waters, so far none of the undead had attacked them, but when they came to a section of the ruins surrounded by water, that's where the curveballs came in the form of ghosts.

Kairi: 'SPOOKY!'.

Sora: 'Now what!? Can we even hit ghosts!?'.

Kairi: 'BURN THEM ALL!'.

Kairi threw balls of fire at them, which went through the ghosts unharmed and hit a wall.

Kairi: '…eep'.

Riku: 'OKAY! So we can't hurt them, burn them or tell them to fuck off! What now!?'.

Sora: 'Kairi! Wiki us!'.

Kairi: 'Shamelessly cheating away! *Quick glance* We need cursed weapons, or use the Transient Curse to hurt them!'.

Sora: 'Oh this thingy?'. *Shows item and uses it*

Kairi: 'Now murder them…again!'.

Sora ran in with a cry, slaughtering the ghosts again before Riku joined him and Kairi sneaked past them all to find what the next passage they needed to explore. But unfortunately, Kairi forgot ghosts were, ya know, ghosts, they can traverse through walls and floors. Which meant…ambushes.

Kairi: 'GUYS I'M BEING GHOSTED TO DEATH! HELP!'.

She was then slashed and killed before the two boys could even run a foot towards her.

You Died

Kairi: '…guys, watch out for ambushes…'.

So, while Kairi respawns and makes her back to the boys, they decided to go explore the place for her and take out any ghosts that remained just to make their lives a tad bit easier. The entered the first Square Tower, where they ambushed by a total of six ghosts. One managed to grab Riku, whom mashed the hell out of the trigger buttons, but his efforts did naught for him…

In short, he died.

Sora, all alone, managed to dash out away from the spooky scary ghosts and found himself a fog wall. With a huge groan, he pushed past the wall and found himself to be on a cat walk that had clearly seen better days. Walking around the ledges and avoiding the attacks of the spooks, Sora finally managed to reach the second Square Tower.

Sora: 'Okie dokie, I'm gonna wait for you two here'.

Kairi: 'How many spooks are there now?'.

Sora: 'Sooo many…'.

Twenty Minutes Later…

They passed through a door, finding a staircase on the left with a other door that led into a room. Inside was another room, with a Banshee and likely, traps.

Sora: '…can we ignore this room?'.

Kairi: 'Yes, yes we ca- wait…no, no we can't. Plot item ahead'.

Sora: 'AWW!'.

Riku: 'Hang on…I've an idea'.

He entered first, but when the Banshee began to attack him, Riku quickly ran back as the others began to spawn. Catching on, Kairi equipped her halberd, used the transient curse and once all the ghosts were in their spot, she did the heavy attack and spun around, killing them all in one swing.

Sora: '…oh'.

Kairi: 'Huh…that was…a lot easier than I thought'.

Riku: 'HA! See!? I knew what I was doing!'.

Kairi/Sora: 'Right…'.

So after that, they found a ladder in the fireplace and climbed to the roof, where they met Ingward, the Red Wizard!

Kairi: ' *GASP* Will we get to meet-

Riku: 'Gandalf isn't in this series!'.

Kairi: '…aww…'.

Lore aside, he gave them all the Key to the Seal where they could face the next boss, aka the Four Kings. They returned to the trap room, exited the first door and then headed left. They trailed on the path until they found a wall with a hole. Jumping through it and after some rooftop hopping and intrusions, they managed to find their way to the Spiral Staircase Tower.

They climbed up the stairs and found a door with a corpse inside it. Kairi gained a new bow with some large arrows. Nothing else to find they went back down to see a locked gate with a lever beside it. Riku used the Key to the Seal and opened the massive gates, where the water was freed from the city. The large gates further into the city opened, allowing the water to poor through into the Valley of the Drakes. New Londo Ruins lower section had been cleared of water, allowing the trio to explore deeper to find the Four Kings.

The trio entered an elevator and it brought them down to Lower New Londo Ruins (there's a mouthful). They could see on their right the large doors opened to reveal the Valley of the Drakes to be explored for them…but they weren't gonna be doing that today. No instead they were gonna face something potentially worse than a dragon.

A darkwraith knight slowly rose from the ground, and the very moment it turned its red eyes on them, they knew what to do.

Riku: 'BUMRUSH HIM!'.

Kairi: 'BURN THE NOT BATMAN!'.

Kairi cried with joy when she could harm the knight with fire, singing with joy as she flung balls of fire upon it. The fire goddess was back in action! They managed to power through the battle, slaying the knight, which gave them a slew of souls, they went left to another ruined doorway and went up the stairs to arrive to a wooden structure. On their right they entered a room, killed another dark wraith and found a fog wall.

Kairi: 'Boss battle?'.

Sora: 'I hope not! We haven't found a bonfire yet!'.

With gulps, they entered the fog wall.

Thankfully, there wasn't a boss fight, but more to explore. The trio sighed together.

Kairi: 'Where the heck are we going?'.

Sora: 'Where is the bonfire!?'.

Riku: 'We haven't even found the boss yet!'.

After several more explorations, several monsters, loot, back tracking, they eventually walked on a pathway until they came to the edge of the platform, they had to jump down. They found themselves in shallow water and proceeded forward until they climbed up a ramp and came face to face with ANOTHER dark wraith.

They didn't even bother with fighting it properly, Kairi burned it and the boys fired arrows at it, killed it and moved on. Finally, what seemed like forever, they returned to the second Square Tower on the lower floor, they found a fog wall at long last before a huge door. Which meant, the boss was just up ahead.

Riku: 'Well shit…we've found the boss, but there's no bonfires'.

Kairi: 'Well…maybe, if we're careful, we can take them down in the first fight!'.

Sora: 'Yeah, we'll just be SUPER careful!'.

They all passed through the fog wall, and came to a ledge. Below them was nothing but pure darkness. They all looked at each other, checked their gear and equipped what healing and buff items they could carry.

Sora: 'I'll go first'.

Sora took the plunge and fell for what felt like forever…but then…he died.

Sora: 'Huh!? I'm dead!'.

Riku: 'Wait what!? How!?'.

Kairi and Riku tried, but they found themselves facing the same fate as their beloved Sora, and died.

Kairi: 'YOU GOT TO BE KID-

They all respawned back to the Firelink Shrine…

Riku: 'What the…?'.

Sora: 'You have to be kidding me! All that and we didn't even get to fight the boss?'.

Kairi: 'Guys…all our souls…'.

And they all shared a moment of silence…before they all cried in rage…

Next Day!

The trio had spent a total of four hours of trying to figure out how to enter the boss room, each one ending in failure and rage. Eventually after the twentieth attempt, they gave up and called it a night. Granted they managed to get plenty of souls and even reclaimed their own, it still didn't help the fact they didn't cross off at least one DS boss off their list.

Terra: 'What happened this time? Got invaded again?'.

Aqua: 'NO THEY DIDN'T! I mean…what's up guys?'.

Sora: 'We're losing our minds…'.

Terra: 'I've noticed, what's going on?'.

Kairi: 'We've been stuck on New Londo Ruins for hours, we can't access the boss room and we've tried twenty times'.

Riku: 'Plus side we got really good at murdering those dark knight freakshows'.

Aqua: 'Oh that place is so annoying! No bonfires and plenty of crap! What part of the boss are you guys having trouble with?'.

Kairi: 'We'd tell you if we could actually fight then darn thing!'.

Sora: 'Every time we jumped into the Abyss we keep dying!'.

Aqua: 'OOOH I know what the problem is!'.

Riku/Kairi/Sora: 'YOU DO!?'.

Aqua: 'Yes! See you need the Covenant of Artorias Ring, which you get off Great Wolf Sif after you beat him of course!'.

The trio looked at Aqua with stars in their eyes, before hugging her tightly.

Riku/Kairi/Sora: 'Thank you!

Aqua beamed, but when she looked at Terra, he gave her a smug smirk and mouthed "Guilty".

Aqua: 'N-N-No worries guys…'.

Terra: 'But if you guys are gonna fight Sif, you may as well do the DLC that came with it'.

Kairi: 'OOH, might as well since we could do with some extra souls and some new stuff'.

Sora: 'More stuff!'.

Little did the trio know, the DLC will bring them more than just rage…

A/N:

…I hate New Londo…

Thanks for reading this shorter one, sorry it wasn't very good. I ran into a few walls, but least its over now. So next time, they will face Dark Souls' equivalent Guts and discover Sif's past. How will they react to the cutscene?

One way to find out :3.

Thanks for reading, stay awesome, but most importantly stay safe!