Hey, guys! Sorry for the slow update! Believe it or not, but editing does make the uploading process a little bit slow. Plus, I don't sit at my computer all day long every day.
But, I should be able to catch up a little bit now. :D
Two chapters left after this one (in case you were wondering)
Review and let me know what you think?
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Still.
Smack Down Saturday
Everyone seemed to know about Sonny and me before we arrived at Condor Studios the next morning (I knew it was because I updated my vlog, but when Sonny asked me how everyone found out, I pretended I had no idea. I wasn't sure if she'd be mad I'd updated the world or not and I didn't want to start off our relationship with a fight). Truthfully, I was so happy, I didn't care if the world knew about me and Sonny or not. As long as she was with me, my day was great.
It was hard to get my cast members to get down to business. They were having too much fun clapping my shoulder, congratulating me on my new girlfriend. Sonny, on the other hand, was bombarded in hugs and questions about how I'd asked her out.
"Guys, we still have filming to do," I tried telling them. "We need to get to work if we want our next episode to be done in time!"
It was silent for about ten seconds while everyone turned their attention to me.
"So, did he give you a ring to symbolize your love?" Penelope broke the silence.
The questions started all over again as my cast formed a circle around Sonny, their voices blending together just like reporters did when they wanted information for all their annoying interviews. For her part, Sonny looked overjoyed about everyone's interest. She smiled at me over her shoulder and her lips silently formed a question:
'Please don't make everyone work yet,' she begged. 'Just a few more minutes.'
Slowly, I nodded my head, granting her request. I never let my cast take it easy. When it was time to work, it was time to work. On the other hand, Sonny was my girlfriend.
My girlfriend. My girl. My Sonny. All terms I would never get sick of. Anything she wanted, as long as it was within reason, was hers. She already had my heart…Why shouldn't I give her everything else as well?
Just being able to watch the smile on Sonny's face as she answered questions (did she say something about a $100,000 diamond?) was enough to convince me I did the right thing giving her more time. She was having fun, and knowing that was enough to make me smile as I watched the scene.
So far, today was turning out to be the best day of my life. It was only going to get better once I could get everyone to start filming. All my scenes with Macy would be done today and now, with Sonny as my real girlfriend, I could get into my character better than ever before. If she knew how much I wanted to take her hand, to hold her in my arms, to kiss her like there was no tomorrow…If she knew the truth behind my feelings for her, she'd think I was crazy.
When Chad Dylan Cooper feels something, he feels it all the way. Halfway doesn't exist.
My day was being wasted. There was Sonny, finally within my grasp, and my cast was talking to her more than I was. Unable to wait any longer, I pushed my way through the circle still surrounding Sonny, placing my arm around her shoulders.
"That's enough stalling time, everyone," I ordered, holding up my hand to silence them when five voices protested at once. "Look, I know you all want to know the details about last night, but it was a personal moment between Sonny and me. So, if you would all please start warming-up, it would be really nice if we could get to work."
Since all of them knew better than to fight with me, the crowd dispersed, each cast member taking off to start their warm-ups. When Sonny began to follow them, I grabbed her hand, spinning her around as I pulled her back to my side.
"Where do you think you're going?" I demanded.
"You just told me to go warm-up," she replied, looking confused. "I was just doing what you said to do."
"You've advanced into a special kind of warm-up, Munroe."
Her confused face turned into a smile as she looked up at me.
"Ohh." She sidled closer to me, pressing against my chest. "What warm-ups are included in my advanced ones?"
"I'll show you."
Just as I was dipping Sonny (yes, dipping her, like what most men did when they were dancing and held onto their partner's back as they held her upside down) and was leaning down so I could kiss her-
"Sonny, I need your help with my uniform! Chloe just ripped off my sleeve!"
The moment ruined, I had no choice but to let Sonny go. She kept hold of my hand as she walked away until the last second and she was as far as my arm would stretch. She wanted to be with me just as much as I wanted to be with her. We'd get our alone time; I'd make sure of that. Even if it meant sending every other member of the cast home early, Sonny and I would get time to ourselves.
Sonny fixed the clothing problem, I led warm-ups, and finally, it was time to film. It was easy to play Mackenzie today, easier than it had ever been for me (which is saying a lot since after so many weeks of playing him, I feel like he's part of me). He was lovesick, totally gaga over Macy, and even though he had to tell her in the last scene that they could never be anything more than friends, they were acting like a couple during the rest of the episode. I got to rush forward and pick Sonny up to spin her around in circles (the scene where we saw each other for the first time in years), she collapsed into my arms (Portlyn admitted to splitting the two of us up when we were younger 'for our own good'), and then, of course, came the kissing scene.
There was something different in Sonny's attitude while we did the scene Mackenzie told Macy it wouldn't work than how she'd acted while practicing it before. She'd been more nervous then, avoiding my eyes as we acted. Today, she wouldn't look away. Despite the fact she was on a comedy show, she easily could've made it on Mackenzie Falls. I was starting to believe her lines and I knew they were fake. Her tears looked almost real when she turned her back to me and burst into her crying fit, and when I turned her around so she was facing me again-
"'What do you want now?"' she wailed, her lips trembling. "'Haven't you hurt me enough for one day?"'
"'I'm not trying to hurt you,"' I replied, saying my lines perfectly (when were they said any other way?). "'You know how I feel about you, Macy. Please…Let me have one last kiss before we say goodbye."'
The next line in the script wasn't a line at all, but instead an action that stated 'Mackenzie and Macy share a short and sweet kiss'. No one could interrupt us this time. The rest of the cast was standing off to the side, watching as they'd done last time, and the director wasn't going to shout cut. I couldn't wait until I got to kiss her again. Last night had been the most wonderful experience of my life, something I never wanted to live without again, even for a day. Nothing was going to stop me as I let my eyes shut-
Was that water I felt dripping on my face?
A loud alarm began sounding throughout the room. Everyone started screaming as more water sprinkled from the ceiling. I wasn't sure since I'd never heard it before, but it sounded to me like a fire alarm was going off.
"Don't panic!" the director called out, which of course made everyone start running around in circles. "I'm sure it's just a fake alarm. There's not a real fire in the studio! Still, if you would all make your way to the nearest exit…."
The cast, director, cameramen, and make-up artists took off running, screaming as they went. Sonny and I stayed where we were, both of us looking up. One of the sprinklers was right over our heads and the water flowing over us was soaking through both of our outfits, sticking the uniforms to our skin.
"Really?" I asked, still looking skyward. "What does the world have against us having even one romantic moment today?"
Sonny giggled in an extremely girly fashion. I turned my attention back to her, but she was standing a few feet from me, spinning around with her chin tilted all the way up, droplets of water bouncing off her face. Her outfit was wet, her hair was too flat to even move with her spins, but despite any of that, she was smiling wider than I'd seen her do all morning.
"What are you doing?" I asked her, wondering if she'd gone crazy. "Shouldn't we be heading outside like everyone else?"
"Maybe we should be running," she answered, her voice serious, "But I like dancing in the rain better!"
I stood there, trying to force my matted hair from my eyes, letting her words sink in so maybe they would make sense.
"Rain?" I finally repeated her. "You do know it's not really raining, don't you?"
She stopped twirling long enough to glare at me.
"You're an actor, Chad," she stated the obvious. "Have a little imagination, won't you?"
I was an actor, not a script writer. It wasn't my job to think of ways to make rain look real, but if it was up to me, I wouldn't have used the sprinklers. It didn't look like rain at all to my eyes.
Still, watching Sonny as she spun around and around, laughing her head off like she was a child experiencing water for the first time…There was only one thing I would've added to a scene like that.
Sonny didn't complain when I joined her, coming up from behind and putting my hands on her waist. She leaned into me, letting me hold the weight of her body as we continued to spin and spin and spin. Unfortunately, my shoes didn't have the greatest grip in the first place, and with a wet floor beneath them, there wasn't much to do when I started to fall. Sonny shrieked as we started falling, holding onto me all the tighter as we traveled toward the floor.
We landed together in a huge puddle of water, me landing on my back, Sonny stopping her body just in time from slamming into mine. She stayed where she was, one hand on either side of me, her wet hair dripping into my eyes.
"Can't you keep your hair under control, Munroe?" I teased her, trying to make my voice sound angry as I reached up, brushing one of the strands behind her ear.
"Shh," she told me, her smile never looking more beautiful, even though there was make-up running down both her cheeks. "The time for talking is over."
She leaned down, easily closing the gap between us. Somehow, this kiss was even better than last night. I couldn't explain what the difference was (every kiss with Sonny was perfect), but there was something about this one that made me speak up the second she pulled away.
"We need to talk."
I didn't understand the look of horror that crossed her features.
Tawni was more than a little surprised when I burst into our dressing room, dripping water all over the floor.
"What did they do to you?" she exclaimed, her mouth hanging open. "Did everyone at the Falls forget you're supposed to take your clothes off when you take a shower?"
"Actually, a fire alarm went off," I explained before rushing to her side, clutching her arm with both my hands. "Tawni…I need your help."
She smiled at me as she patted my head, sitting up straighter in her chair. I'd forgotten how much she enjoyed being asked for help. Hmm, maybe I should've gone to Portlyn instead.
"If you need my help with your hair, I have one suggestion," she said in her chipper voice. "Don't come to work with it wet again!"
I pushed her hand off the top of my head, rolling my eyes.
"I don't need help with my hair," I informed her. "I need your advice about Chad."
That was all it took to get Tawni to jump up and down in her seat, flipping her hair over her shoulder in excitement.
"In that case, I'm all ears."
I explained to her how last night had gone (going out to dinner, watching fireworks, how Chad had asked the question, and my response to it. I had to pause the story after saying that because she went into a very long laughing fit) and then told her everything had been going fine this morning until Chad muttered his last four words.
"So what?" Tawni asked once I was finished, looking confused. "He said you needed to talk. Don't you think you should've stayed and figured out what he wanted to talk about instead of saying you had to use the bathroom and coming here?"
"I already know what he wants to talk about." When Tawni gave me a blank stare, I went on. "He wants to break up with me."
She narrowed her eyes.
"How do you know that's what he wanted? Maybe he just wanted to talk to you. You are his girlfriend now. Most boyfriends do like to talk to their boo's every once in awhile."
"He said 'we need to talk'," I went on, lowering my voice to do my best imitation of Chad. "That's the line everyone says right before breaking up with someone! Besides, look at the facts: Today is Saturday, his usual break-up day. He's going through with his weekly pattern!"
Tawni let out a loud sigh. How could she stay so calm? Here I was, spilling all my problems out to her, and all she could do was sigh? Didn't she understand what I was telling her? Chad was going to break up with me. He'd spent all week working for my heart and now he was going back on his acts, pulling the rug out from under my feet, clipping the wings I was trying to fly with. Just like that, he was ready to say goodbye, just like he'd done every weekend for the majority of his life.
It wasn't supposed to end this way. I was the one who was supposed to break his heart, not the other way around. Tawni and Portlyn had picked me for this plan because they knew I was strong enough, the only girl in the world who was strong enough, to not give in to Chad's charm. They had counted on me being able to turn him down like I'd been doing since arriving at Condor Studios.
I didn't think it would be a problem. Hating Chad was easy for me. All I had to do was remind myself how much of a jerk-throb he was and hang out with the rest of my cast. Hearing what they said about him and laughing along with them was enough to keep me from falling for Chad Dylan Cooper.
But I didn't get to hang out with my cast this week. I was alone with Chad with no one around to remind me how horrible he was. Not only that, but he did everything he could to convince me he wasn't a jerk-throb. No matter how hard I tried not to listen, the harder I tried, the easier it was to give in. Playing the role of a love-struck Sonny wasn't a good role for me; she'd taken over my life.
Just like all the girls before me, I'd fallen for Chad.
I'd known since the beginning of the week that even if I did somehow end up falling for Chad, it wouldn't work out. I knew he would break up with me when Saturday came around. Maybe I thought something had changed last night. The way he kissed me, the feeling that shot through my body at the touch, the way he'd looked at me since then…
Apparently I was reading too much into it. The way Chad reacted was all part of his game. He was trying to make me think he was really in love me when he wasn't. He'd gotten what he wanted out of me; he'd won my heart before his week was over. He had reached his goal.
And now he was through with me.
"I'm still not sure that's what Chad meant when he said he needed to talk," Tawni said, bringing my thoughts from Chad and back to her, "But if you're right, then you have to break up with him first. After all, if he does break up with you, then he'll just play this game again next week and the week after that and the week after that. He won't learn anything."
"What are you saying?" I asked, drawing my words out, deep down knowing exactly what she meant. "You think I should break up with him?"
"Only you can decide what to do, Sonny. If he's going to break up with you, then you know what you need to do."
She was right. If I acted now, I could still win the game. I could beat Chad to the punch line and break up with him before he could say those dreaded words to me. Taking a deep breath, I turned to the door, ready to go talk to my boyfriend.
I was back at Tawni's side within seconds.
"I can't do it," I complained. "I can't just walk over there, look him in that sparkly blue eye, and tell him it's over! Help me, Tawni. Please help me."
She held her palm out flat, giving me one simple order.
"Give me your cell phone."
I wasn't sure exactly what she was going to do, but I handed over my cow spotted phone, watching anxiously as Tawni started hitting buttons. When she brought it to her ear, she smiled at me and held up a finger, signaling she would be done in a minute. I felt like hugging her. She was going to fix everything! Whoever she was calling, whatever conversation she was about to have, would be the solution I needed.
"Aw, that's sweet, but this isn't your Sonshine," she said after a few silent moments. I could feel my mouth fall open as I realized who she had to be talking to. Why was she calling him? "This is Tawni, and I have a message for you from your girlfriend."
Ripping the phone from her hands, I was tempted to just hit the end button. I wasn't going to let Tawni break up with Chad for me. I was the one who agreed to pretend to fall in love with him, I was the one who said yes when he asked me out, and I would be the one to tell him we were over. It wasn't Tawni's fault I'd ruined everything by falling in love with him. There was no reason she had to do the dirty work.
Just as I was about to push the button that would end the conversation, Tawni finally climbed out of her chair, grabbing on to the part of the phone not covered by my hands.
"Either tell him you want to talk so you can figure out what he really wants to talk about," she ordered, "Or as soon as you hang up, I'm going to call him again and break up with him for you."
"Are those my only options?"
"You know what the third one is."
Chad's voice was still coming from the phone, calling my name out, sounding completely confused. I stared at Tawni, begging her to let me hang up, but she firmly kept a hand on my phone, the glower on her face not changing at all. Sighing, I pushed away her hand so I could put the phone to my ear.
"Hey," I said, knowing my voice sounded defeated. I wasn't looking forward to this conversation. It was going to hurt me a lot more than it would hurt him.
"Sonny!" His happy tone wasn't helping me at all. "Why are you calling me? I thought you were just going to the bathroom?"
My eyes closed and I breathed in deeply. It was now or never.
"Sonny?" Now he sounded concerned. "Is something wrong?"
"We need to see other people."
What words were you supposed to use when breaking up with someone? I'd never done it before so the first words to pop out of my mouth were what I was stuck with. I could feel my heart splitting in half, my breath caught in my throat, and my stomach felt like someone had punched me hard enough to knock out all my wind.
This was what it felt like to be in love? This was what a real broken heart felt like?
There was a silence from Chad's end of the phone. I was tempted to ask if he'd heard me, but I couldn't get my tongue to form another word. My mouth was dry as I waited for him to speak. When he did, it wasn't what I wanted to hear.
"What?"
"Don't make me say it again, Chad. Please, please, please don't make me say it again."
He fell silent again. His silence was the worse thing he could do to me. If he yelled at me, at least I would know I was getting what I deserved. If he calmly told me it was alright, I would know it was all just an act and he'd never really liked me to begin with. If he said something about me blowing his plan, then I would know I was right about what he wanted to talk to me about.
Anything, any little word at all, would've been better than the silence he gave me.
"Why?" Was it just me, or was his voice higher than usual? "Why are you dumping me after one day? Why did you even say yes last night?"
"Please…Don't make this harder than it already is."
Tears were springing to my eyes, but Tawni was watching me so I brushed them away, refusing to let them out. Chad wasn't being fair. He was blaming this all on me. Why did he care why I said yes to him? Because I broke up with him sooner than he was going to do it to me? Maybe he was going to wait until later tonight. Maybe he had some plans for us to do after work and was going to break up with me after he'd had his fun. Was he mad at me for beating him to the punch?
Whatever pain he was feeling, it was nothing compared to me. His only disappointment was not being able to say the words first; my heart was being split into two separate pieces.
Love shouldn't be allowed to happen. It should be against the law for someone to fall in love with someone else because chances are, that person isn't going to feel the same way. If they don't, they still might play along, just to mess with your emotions. Either way, love was going to end up leaving you crippled, like half of you was suddenly gone.
"I'm so sorry for making this hard on you, Sonny," Chad said, heavy sarcasm in his voice. "I've always been a pain to you, haven't I? I might as well finish my job."
"What? Chad, I never said-,"
"I'm hanging up now. Don't call me again."
Without saying another word, without waiting to hear my plea for him to stop, a dial-tone sounded in my ear.
It was over. I'd done my job and had broken up with Chad, just as I promised Tawni and Portlyn I would. I was doing the right thing. I was getting back at him for all the hearts he'd broken in the past, getting revenge for everyone it was already too late for.
If I was doing the right thing, why did I feel so rotten?
Slowly, I sank onto the couch, not caring about my wet clothes or how they might ruin the material. Tawni was still watching me and I shrugged at her, forcing out my best attempt at a laugh.
"I did it," I told her, my voice cracking. "He-He told me never to-to call him…"
The rest of my sentence was lost in a sob. I grabbed the pillow beside me, trying to cover my face with it, hoping maybe I could hide from Tawni. If she thought I was really crying over Chad Dylan Cooper…
Instead of laughing at me like I thought she would, Tawni joined me on the couch, gently wrapping her arms around me. She'd never been very good at comforting me, but this time, just having her arms was enough for me. I rested my head on her shoulder and let out the tears I'd been holding in.
Tawni held me through it all until my eyes were so red and puffy I thought they would never be able to cry again. Even then, I still felt like crying.
'Stupid heart,' I told myself. 'Why did you have to pick Chad? Out of all the stars out there, you had to pick him!'
My only answer was a thump that hurt my entire chest.
I tried to act like it didn't hurt me. As I changed into a new uniform, I chanted over and over again that I didn't need her anyway, that there were a million girls waiting to take her place. I'd be fine; she was the one losing out on the greatness of Chad Dylan Cooper.
It didn't make sense to me. Sonny wasn't someone who would lie for no reason at all. Why would she spend all week with me, acting like she starting to fall under my spell? Why did she say yes when I asked her out if she didn't really like me? I understood sometimes minds could change quickly, but less than five minutes ago, she'd been lying on the floor over me, giving me a kiss better than our first. No way did a mind change directions that quickly.
Sonny wasn't someone who would deliberately break someone's heart. And yet, here I was, trying my best not to punch a hole in the wall.
Yes, I did shed a few tears. I'd been waiting so long to have Sonny and when I finally had her, I was happy. No, I was more than happy; I was ecstatic. It hurt a lot when she told me we should see other people. We'd been seeing other people for too long. I wanted to see her and only her for the rest of my life. But I loved her enough to give her whatever she wanted. If that was me being gone, then I would gladly oblige.
There was still a kiss between Mackenzie and Macy that needed filmed, but it was going to be cut from the script. I was Chad Dylan Cooper; they would cut the scene if I wanted them to. I never wanted to see Sonny again (which would be hard considering we worked at the same studio) and bringing her back to the set would be considered seeing her.
Although I did have one last matter to take care of before I let her out of my life completely.
Portlyn was the only one there when I came out of my dressing room, closing the door behind me hard enough that the entire wall started shaking. Her eyes were wide as she started following me down the hall.
"Hey," she started, going on when I didn't answer her. "What's up with you?"
"None of your business," I retorted, quickening my pace.
She took the hint and stopped walking. I kept going, both my hands in fists at my sides. This would be my last visit to the So Random! set, my last time to see Sonny up close. From here on out, I would only see her across the lunch room.
To be honest, I didn't want to see her again anyway. Just this short little visit was going to be hard enough. Knowing she was mine, even for the short amount of time it had been true, was still enough to hurt when she pulled the plug. Every time I looked at her, I would only be able to think about what could've been.
What could've been didn't matter. I was going to live in the future, not the past. I wasn't going to let Sonny bring me down.
No matter what it took, she wasn't going to get the satisfaction of knowing how hurt I really was.
Tawni was called to the set (it was a filming day for So Random! as well as Mackenzie Falls). She didn't go at first, staring at me instead, asking silently if I would be alright. I told her to go ahead, assuring her I would be fine. After hesitating, she left, leaving me to let my tears out alone.
I was surprised when there was a knock on the door.
"Why am I knocking?" a voice laughed before the door pushed open. "I forgot Tawni gave me a key – Oh. I wasn't expecting anyone to be in here."
Hayden was standing in the dressing room entrance, a key in one hand, the other still on the doorknob. The last thing I wanted was company, but as long as he was there, I didn't want him to see what shape I was in. Rushing to my feet, I ran to the other side of the room (why did Tawni have to rearrange everything during my absent week?) looking for Kleenex or anything I could use to wipe off my face.
"Sonny?" Hayden sounded unsure as he called out my name, and I kept my back to him. "Is everything alright?"
I wanted to tell him that yes, everything was fine. I wanted to change the topic and ask what he was doing in the dressing room (were he and Tawni secretly seeing each other again?). But when I finally turned to face him, opening my mouth to speak, neither of those topics came out.
"Truthfully, no, everything isn't alright," I said, my voice coming out gruffer than I'd meant it to. "Chad and I just broke up."
"Broke up? Hmm, Tween Weekly never announced the two of you were a couple."
"He just asked me out last night."
He let out a low whistle as he walked further into the room, closing the door before he advanced. It wasn't long before he'd crossed the short distance to where I was standing. He stood there, his hands jammed into his pockets, looking too nervous.
"I'm sorry to hear about you and Chad," he finally spoke. "But there are other guys out there, guys who are a lot better for you than him."
I couldn't help but laugh at that one.
"I used to think any guy in the world was better for me than Chad," I explained when he gave me a questioning stare. "I just…I don't know. I thought I was in love with him, but I guess he never felt the same."
Hayden put his hand on my cheek, using his thumb to brush away a tear (was I really crying again?). He didn't move his hand when he was done, instead letting it rest in its place, adding warmth to my skin.
I didn't push his hand away, although I wasn't sure why. He had no reason to be touching me like that. I wasn't really thinking about his actions at that moment, excusing his touch as his way of comforting. I barely noticed when he stepped even closer to me, using his other hand to push my hair behind my ear.
"Just because Chad Dylan Cooper isn't in love with you doesn't mean someone else isn't," he said, his voice soft, his lips coming close to my ear.
Looking up at him, I let my red-rimmed eyes meet his.
"But he's the only one I'm in love with."
"You're a teenager," he argued. "Love changes."
"Hayden, I think you should back up-,"
He didn't let me finish my sentence. Before I could say another word, he took another step closer, lowering his face until his lips were on top of mine. I didn't have a chance to react or push him away or do anything other than let my eyes fly open in surprise before the door flew open again.
"I just came to let you know I need your Mackenzie Falls uniform back – wow."
Finally, I found the strength I needed to push Hayden away, but I was too late. Chad was in the doorway.
His eyes met mine and I wasn't sure how long we stood there, just staring at each other. All I knew was that I had to stop him as he turned his back on me, taking off down the hall at a brisk pace. If I didn't stop him now, I may never get the chance again.
"Chad!"
I heard her shouting my name, but I chose not to acknowledge her. Maybe if I kept walking, she would leave me alone. All I really needed was time away from her.
Unfortunately, she wasn't taking my silence as good enough. I heard her feet picking up their pace, and before I knew it, she was in front of me, her hands on my chest as she tried to keep me from walking. I tried to push her out of my way.
"Move it or lose it!" I ordered, but she kept her feet firmly planted where they were. "Don't you have a new boyfriend to go bother?"
"Hayden is not my boyfriend!" Her voice was firm enough that I wanted to believe her. The problem was, her having a boyfriend was the perfect solution for her breaking up with me. There wasn't another reason I could think of for all the lies. Hayden was the only answer that made sense. "I need you to listen to me. I had nothing to do with what you just saw, it was-,"
"Let me guess: it was the Kiss Cam."
I shook my head as Sonny stared up at me, looking aghast. I was the one who'd been dumb enough to fall for her trick and yet she was the one looking surprised? Why were her eyes red like she'd been crying? She still had Hayden; wasn't he good enough for her or did she think she needed a blonde jerk-throb on the side?
"It wasn't the Kiss Cam," she said, her voice soft. "I didn't kiss him though, he came into the room and we got talking-,"
Holding up my hands to silence her, I was able to step around her as she let her defenses down.
"Look, Sonny, it's really none of my business what you and Kayden, or any other guy for that matter, do," I said, facing her as I started walking down the hall backwards. "I could really care less who kissed who, alright? Just give your uniform to Portlyn after you have it washed."
Turning my back on her, I was ready to leave, trying my best not to turn around and look at her. I didn't need a last glance at her, one last memory to hold in my head forever and ever. I would rather delete her from my mind if I could.
What I really wanted to get rid of was the picture of her and Hayden kissing. It had been bad enough the first time I'd seen the picture sitting on my coffee table, but seeing it happen again only a little bit after she had been kissing me…
That was more hurtful than her breaking up with me.
"Chad." Her voice was so small I barely heard it, but I was so attuned to her, somehow it floated to my ears. "Please don't do this."
I stopped walking but didn't turn to face her again. Seeing her face right now, looking into those sad eyes…Well, I was a sucker for her. I would say something stupid, like she was forgiven, and she would think everything was fine. I'd have to watch her and Hayden together every day, being the happiest couple alive.
I was the greatest actor of our generation, but I wasn't good enough to pull off that act.
"Stay out of my life, Munroe. That's the last time I'm going to ask you."
She didn't call out again as I continued down the hall and I knew she was finally listening to me. I quickened my pace, wanting to have her out of my sight before I could give in to my desires and turn around. I couldn't see her again without falling in love.
The second I turned the corner, I leaned against the wall, covering my face with my hands. My legs losing feeling, I slid down to the floor, letting my head rest on my knees.
My shoulders shook as the sobs took over, but the pain of hitting my head against my knees over and over again was nothing to what my chest felt like. I finally understood what the famous quote meant:
Love really does hurt.
