Chapter Eight
Doctor Avery Ryant was sitting as his desk, a dozen hypo sprays being analyzed as he looked over data, tapping away at a separate data padd. Setask stepped hesitantly into his office, tapping on the door frame lightly.
"Am I disturbing you?" She asked.
The middle aged man looked up, his baby blue eyes meeting hers. "Never, captain. In fact, you are just the Vulcan I wanted to see."
"Oh?" Setask raised one eye-brow, unsure where this conversation was going.
"Yes. We'll reach the Dek'Ore system in two days, and you've been working so hard. I was wondering when I was going to have to insist on you coming down for a physical." Avery replied, his thin lips twerking into a faint smile.
Setask closed her eyes and let a sigh of frustration flow its way out slowly, pushing desperation and an unexplainable sadness out with the anger. Opening her eyes again, Setask said, "I am very busy doctor. The list of tasks I must accomplish before we come within eight hours of our target is lengthening. On my list is a required review with the ships physician about emergency situations."
"Yes, I get that you're busy. But what I don't think you get is that before I can effectively treat any member of this crew, I need a physical that has been taken within the last year. This includes her captain." Avery replied, his voice becoming firm as he stood.
"I don't think using your height to intimidate me into complying with you is kind." Setask replied, crossing her arms.
The doctor looked down at her and smiled, backing up and holding his arm out, inviting her into the next room. Setask sighed again and complied, walking and sitting heavily on one of the many bio-beds.
Avery flipped open his tricorder and pulled out the removable piece to take more detailed scans. "Who of the crew is left?" She asked.
"In an hour, no one." Avery smiled.
"An hour?" Setask replied. "I actually have stuff to do."
"Nem is expecting me in engineering, Lillian in deflector control, Tokkra in the weapons rooms, Thiri on the bridge, half a dozen other crewmen in half a dozen other places. I have time for half an hour." Setask replied briskly.
"The crew is capable." Avery replied.
"I have more than a dozen personal reports I need to file, by 2400. 0100 hours at the latest."
Avery shook his head. "I can't imagine the stress you're under right now. But you don't need to become hostile with me."
"I am not hostile." Setask replied, poison dripping off of her words.
"I could drown in the contempt you are showing towards me right now. Crewmembers transfer quickly, they avoid contact with, and get away from captains that show them anger." Avery replied gently, laying a hand on her shoulder. "When was the last time you slept? Ate? Took five minutes to breathe? Took a shower? Changed your clothing?" Silence was the only thing that greeted him. "When was the last time you meditated?"
"17 days, 21 hours, 53 minutes." Setask replied.
"You are the captain." Avery replied angrily.
"Which is why I haven't slept since before we left Earthdock! There is some problem, something that could be improved, someone on their first assignment scared to death, someone who feels the need to talk! 24 hours someone is needing something! I can't turn them away! I am their captain!" Setask replied, frustration brimming. Inexplicable tears suddenly were given vindication.
"17 days is a long time." Avery replied. "I won't let you turn it into 18. 5 days until we get to our destination, and everyone needs you there. This, what you're doing now, will only hurt you. I'm surprised you haven't slapped someone yet."
"Doctor." Setask begged. Now that her anger had brimmed over, she was mostly just exhausted. "I have so much work to do."
"What were you trained in?"
"What?"
"In the Academy, what were you trained in?"
"A bit of everything, I guess. Why?"
"I am going to give you a mild sedative, when we are done here, you will go back to your quarters. Six hours of rest. I'll do the little chores, take care of the dining hall and stuff. I will come and get you and them, only then, can you go and finish doing the things that matter." Avery replied, holding up a hypo spray. Setask held up her hand.
"I can't make you do that."
"Doctor's orders. Besides, most of that stuff is open to volunteers, but we haven't set up a forum for that yet. Just because no one else is doing it doesn't mean that the captain has to. I'll do everything captains don't have to do, and you do everything you need to. After a nap." Avery shoved her hand away and the soft hissing of the devise forcing medicine into her blood stream painlessly replaced all conversation.
Setask sighed and slouched, looking dejected.
"Have you gotten any transmissions yet?" Avery said a few moments later, trying to fill the silence.
"Yes. Have you?"
"Ah yes. My daughter."
"You have a daughter?"
"Yes. Beautiful little girl, turned ten four days after we left. She wasn't sour when she spoke to me on the line, though. A bit nervous, kept asking if I was okay and when I was coming home." He smiled ruefully. "A four year old brother kept crying. Poor kids."
"I'm sorry." Setask replied, her voice hollow. "That you can't be there for them."
"Aye, me too. But something about the stars makes me reckless." Avery said. "I just love it out here. Any kids?"
Setask startled slightly. "Uh, no. No kids."
"Married?"
"No."
"Have a lover?"
"No."
"What do you have?"
"My mother."
"So she was the one who contacted you."
"Yes."
"Any exciting news?"
"That's personal."
"I'm your doctor. You can tell me anything."
"She's pregnant again."
"You sound disproving. How many siblings do you have?"
"A sister, she's 27. I don't disapprove of her having another child so much as what she's going to put that child through."
"What do you mean?"
"My father is sick. Dying, sick. My mother is not old but not young. The doctor told her not to entertain him, but she did. And now it's only a matter of time before she gives birth, and the babe will be born sick. It'll die. Then she'll die."
"You could start a family of your own."
"No, I couldn't."
"Sure you could."
"Even if I could, I wouldn't be able to finish it."
"That's nothing to be ashamed about."
"I can't start what I'll never be able to finish." Setask replied sullenly.
"There are ways to fix that. All you need is a doctor who knows how."
"Why fix what's not broken?"
"I'd say you're pretty broken. That you'd come to peace with it years before but now the wound is open again."
"No."
"You could take the child."
"No. It's dangerous out her. And my sister already has claim."
"Your sister already has a kid."
"Yeah."
"That's a little unfair."
"Not really. I came out here for a reason."
"You ran away."
"I like to think of it as 'found a better path.'"
"I could help you. You don't have to have a kid now, but knowing that you are able is another reason to fight harder."
"I don't need a kid to make me feel accomplished."
"But you've thought about it."
"Everyone has."
"But when you think about it, all you feel is sadness."
"I have a long career ahead of me."
"Yes, you do." Avery replied, smiling. "But only two more years."
"What?"
"Two more years until your Pon Farr. Until you have to wait another seven."
"Seven moves fast. I don't have any interest in anyone on this ship anyway."
"Not yet. You've been too busy. You don't need to mate to have a child, not if you really want one. Just a doctor and some sex cells."
"I'm the captain. I'm not about to be the first mother to stick a kid on the ship."
"You won't be the first. Twelve months before you can even become pregnant and another 10 months before the child is born. Every other species on board is a little more⦠recreational."
"Why do I feel like you want me to have a child?"
"I don't. I feel like you are making excuses, not getting your hopes up."
"We're fighting the Borg. It is illogical to start this now."
"Yes, it is. But that doesn't mean you can't." Avery replied, raising his eyebrows. "You need some sleep. I'll contact you is anything strange is going on, but I doubt that it is. Don't think that just because you're on a mission for the rest of your life, in the middle of deep space, that you can't be the mother you've always wanted to be."
Setask stood and tugged at the base of her uniform. "Thank you, doctor. I'll be sure to meditate on what you have proposed. I will let you know."
"Go to bed!" Avery called after his captain as she left sickbey.
Setask didn't hear him, but could guess at what he had said. She was already running down the corridor, scolding herself for forgetting what would be awaiting her in sickbey. But as she snuggled deep into her blankets, she couldn't help but think about what Doctor Ryant had said, and couldn't help but think about saying yes.
