A/N Kate Brian owns the Private Series =)
It was already past curfew, 10:00pm, and I was still sitting on the cold hard benches on the Easton soccer field, too deep in thought to move. I knew I was getting cold, and that staying out here is one of my worst ideas yet, but I couldn't get myself to return back to reality. Being on this soccer field brought back the rare good memories I experienced and they were just too scarce to let go of them. The victories my team had accomplished on this field were my proudest moments, the times when I felt free of anything constricting me. The times when I was able to show exactly what I'm made of.
I had probably read over Ivy's text at least a dozen times, and have been sitting here for about half an hour, and yet couldn't decide what to do. Meeting up with her would probably be a mistake I was bound to regret, but at the same time, her message might be of great importance. But seriously though, who cares? I thought I was ready to let go of the past and move on, and following Ivy's instructions would definitely not mean letting go. So screw her, and screw Josh. They're not going to ruin the one chance at happiness I'm finally getting. With that I whipped my phone out of my coat pocket, and scrolled down with my finger until I reached Ivy's message. Without a second thought, I pressed the delete button and felt instantly lighter. Like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Wow, decisiveness has a nice effect on a person.
With that thought I got up from the bleachers, and started heading back across the field to the entrance of the school. The dewy grass felt refreshing against my exposed ankles and I breathed in the fresh night air as it lifted my worries. Just as I was about to sigh in relief, I spotted a shadow of a figure approaching the soccer field. My heart caught in my throat as the figure materialized, but I still couldn't define who it was. I froze in place as my heart started beating sporadically, and my first thought was-another stalker. I started panicking but couldn't move, or run or do something rational, as my legs felt numb. Then the figure stepped into the small sliver of light the lampposts near the grass emitted and I saw that it was just Josh. Wait, just Josh. That's even worse. At that moment, I kind wished it that it was my stalker instead of Josh, but I pushed the crazy thought out of my head. A stalker I can avoid, but this heart breaker I couldn't.
The light bounced off his golden curls, and a slight wind blew, pinning his polo against his chiseled chest and my heart stopped beating for a short moment. I scolded myself for still being affected by him. We were long over. It was me and Sawyer now. Me and Sawyer. Yet no matter how much I repeated that, I knew that Sawyer couldn't replace my rock and what we used to have, no matter how much of an amazing person he was. Though I wondered how Josh possibly knew how to find me here. This was my place of solitude, nobody knew about it. As if sensing my thoughts, he began to approach me more quickly and before I knew it, he was 2 feet away, staring at me with a strange intensity.
"Hi." He waved his hand in an awkward half-wave, smiling crookedly. At that moment, all nice thoughts forgotten, I became angry. Really angry. How could he even think of coming here, after ignoring me for so many days and greet me like we've been friends for a while now.
"What the hell are you doing here?" I snapped, crossing my arms over my chest.
"I don't even get a greeting?" He raised his hands in defeat, and took a step back. I felt bad momentarily, but then the same anger returned twice-fold.
"What makes you think you deserve one?" My words were clipped and abrupt, and my tone was that of impatience. But I didn't care. I had a right to act the way I was.
"Okay okay. I understand that I need some explaining to do. But I came here to make a truce, you know? I feel bad for doing all the things I did." He sounded sincerely innocent and I softened my expression, dropping my hands to my sides.
"You feel bad? Josh, you made me feel like crap." I told him straight, not bothering with lightening up my words so they didn't sound so harsh.
His crooked smile fell, and sadness replaced the unreadable expression in his eyes. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything I've ever done to you. And I'm sorry for this."
Before I could say anything or even understand what was happening, he filled the gap between us in two short strides and picked my face up in his hands. Then he kissed me, softly at first, then with vigorous determination. I felt myself melting, falling for him all over again, and knew that I was getting myself into a dangerous situation. So before I started to kiss him back, I pulled away, wiping my mouth with the sleeve of my coat. Trying to regain my breath, I stood wide eyed while he had an apologetic look on his face, as well as a hint of satisfaction. That's all it took for me to burst. I took a step forward and slapped my hand across his face as hard as possible. Now it was his turn to be wide-eyed, although he had no right to.
"What. The. Hell. Was. THAT?" I spit the words in his face, fury getting the better of me.
"I can't let you go, Reed. You have to understand! I can't lose you, I'm trying to do everything I can, why can't you take me back?" He was on the verge of begging, and I saw his eyes glisten with unshed tears. Dropping down onto the grass, he put his head in his heads, and released a loud sigh.
Still awestruck, I didn't trust myself to speak, so I let him continue, plopping down onto the grass across from him.
"I need you, and it's as simple as that." He said raising his head from his hands to look at me.
My own tears felt ready to fall down my cheeks as I did the same thing.
"Josh, you can't..do this to me. Please, please don't. I love Sawyer now. Let me be happy, for once in my life!" I choked out my words in between sobs. Hesitantly, Josh put his arm around me, and I leaned into his side despite my brain screaming protests, putting my head on his shoulder.
"Reed, are you happy with Sawyer?" I raised my head in surprise at his question, but swiftly put it back down, nodding into his shoulder.
"Then that's all I need to know." I smiled into his shoulder as I realized the meaning of his words. He was backing back down to let me be happy.
"Really?" I asked, still a bit suspicious.
"Really. It's time for me to let you go. I already knew that, but couldn't accept it. Sawyer's good for you…I guess." I laughed at his honestly, and he chuckled with me. At least we could be friends. I smiled internally. Maybe everything is getting back to normal.
"Thanks, but Josh? How did you know to find me here?" I was honestly curious as to how somebody else knew of my coming here to think.
"While we were still together...You told me it was your place of solitude" he said sheepishly. I can't believe he still remembered things from our relationship. I felt somewhat touched.
"Your remembered?" I asked, still incredulous.
"Of course." He answered confidently, and flashed me an open smile which I couldn't help but respond to with a grin of my own. Then I remembered where we were, and what time it was. Ohhh crap.
"Josh..." I said while getting up.
"Hmm?" He was already falling asleep, his eyes fighting to stay open. Somebody didn't get much sleep.
"I think we should go, before we get caught. Like last time.." I drifted off, remembering the last time we were on this soccer field together. That was when we were still a couple, and the Crom had caught us toppled on top of each other. I laughed at the memory, and Josh cocked his head to his side, raising his eyebrows.
"What?..." he asked hesitantly, but I just covered my hand with my mouth to stifle another giggle.
"Nothing. Just remembering how the Crom caught us that time on the soccer field."
"Oh yeah" He nodded his head in understanding.
"Reed?" He asked as I was getting up and wiping my damp clothes with my hands.
"Yeah?"
"You think maybe in the future...?" He didn't need to finish his question, I already knew what he was implying. Whether we would ever get back to the way it was. Honestly, I didn't have an answer to that so I just replied with the one answer that could be the closest thing to the truth.
"Maybe." That word held so much meaning to both of us. It held both hope and despair. It described the situation we were in, and the situation we might get ourselves into. It pretty much defined us.
Luckily that answer was good enough for him, so he just nodded his head once more, and smiled up at me while brushing off his legs as well. Although I didn't want to get him too hopeful, I couldn't stand to see him down with disappointment again, so I just smiled back. The smile was a mutual understanding between us, and I was happy for that.
Then I suddenly remembered the masquerade and how much work I still had to do. It was exactly two days away, scheduled on a Saturday, and I still had to get a bunch of stuff ready. Luckily, all the invites have already been sent out, and Noelle estimated a minimum of 700 guests that night. Everyone had their dresses and all was left to do was to make ourselves "presentable" as Noelle would say. It's going to be a success and we're finally going to get Billings back. Hopefully. Josh saw me deep in thought while I was going over my internal list of things to do, and cleared his throat. I snapped out of my train of thought, and blushed.
"You, uh, have to get going I guess. Masquerade ball right? Good luck" I couldn't believe he was actually supporting a Billings event. He was a changed guy. And then I realized he was talking like he wasn't going to go.
"You...are going right?" I asked, my tone somewhat accusing. There was no way he was skipping out on the biggest event Easton had ever had.
He smirked knowingly and said "Maybe." That seemed to be a popular word today.
We waved goodbye to each other and went our separate ways, him to Ketlar while I went towards the direction of the Easton gates. I caught him looking back longingly for a few seconds, but shook the image from my head and sighed in contentment. It was time for Billings to show everybody what we can do.
A/N OKAY, don't hate me for taking so long to update. At least I did and I made it long just because I took a whileee to update =) And this time something actually happened, yay! So next chapter is going to be more preparation for the ball and then a part of the ball itself. Then the chapter after that is the BADABOOM surprise of the story. Hehe. OH and not that I wasn't expecting it, but I was a still a bit disappointed with the number of reviews I got for the last chapter. I might have been a filler but I still spent time and effort on it to make it nice for you guys, so please, for this chapter, review? =) And tell me what you want to happen at the masquerade. Oh and tell me whether you liked this chapter or not =)
Maks
