It was far from my first trip to London, but it was the first time traveling without family. Traveling alone was never allowed for me, when I learned to drive it was the only freedom I ever experienced. Part of me was terrified that someone might recognize me as we drove to the station. But given the time of year the family wasn't likely to be traveling, unless 20-some years of routine had suddenly changed.
We left early in the morning, taking the first train to London. Since the trip would only last for three days Anthony wanted to be sure that we had plenty of time for Agatha to see the city. It had been a few years since the girl had visited and was now of the age where she could enjoy it a bit more. Friday afternoon we'd arrive, Kathryn and I were set to take Agatha for a dress suitable of the opera Saturday night; Sunday was planned for tea with Kathryn, a trip to Anthony's choice bookstore, then the late train home.
"Have you been to London before, Miss Edith?" Agatha questioned, looking out the window. She had abandoned her seat next to me to perch herself on her father's lap so she could watch all the passing scenery.
"A few times."
"Agatha, you'll behave yourself today with Aunt Kathryn and Miss Edith."
"Yes, papa… but to be fair…"
"No, Aggie. I don't want there to be a repeat of last time." Anthony warned, looking over the top of his paper.
"What happened last time?" I asked, curious at the girl's suddenly bashful behavior.
"Let's just say there's a very nervous seamstress who no longer accepts business from the Strallans."
Kathryn was waiting for us at the station, eager to get to lunch then the afternoon appointments. Anthony had meetings of his own, which he preferred to an afternoon of dress shopping.
"I would like something purple." Agatha announced as we climbed out of the car.
"Well, we'll see what Madam can manage in a day." The girl's aunt replied, turning slightly to laugh at the demand.
"Miss Edith, what color dress would you like?" Agatha questioned, as we were welcomed into the small, probably exclusive shop.
"I'm not getting a dress." I reminded her gently.
"Yes you are, dear." Kathryn interjected. "Special request from Anthony that I see you both fitted for new dresses."
"No, no, I couldn't…"
"Of course you could!" Agatha interrupted. "You'll need something to wear to the opera tomorrow."
Before I could argue I was ushered to a second pedestal to be measured and observed by Madam, the slightly difficult to understand French woman who owned the shop without actually giving a name beyond her title. She stared quietly for what felt like an eternity before turning to an assistant with a curt nod. The latter of which nodded and quickly ushered me into a fitting room.
The assistant had me undress, not bothered by my modesty. Of course given that this was her day job I was certain that she had in fact seen it all. As long as I kept my stockings on there was nothing to worry about.
First she helped me into a silk slip of sorts, the fabric a pale gold that blended rather nicely with my skin tone. Then came a fine lace dress covered with sequin embellished embroidery. The material fell to my knees offering a glimmer of modesty. This was not the dress of a governess… it was the dress of a young wife.
"Oh, darling! Look at you!" Kathryn gushed, clasping her hands and wearing a wide grin.
"It's too much. Surely it's too much."
"Darling, it's the 1920s, this is barely enough." She replied gesturing for me to turn. "All you'll need is a pair of shoes to match."
"Oh! Miss Edith! Isn't it marvelous!" Agatha called, hurrying out to model the lavender dress she had been put into. The fashion was age appropriate but still rather chic. More than that, there was no way these dresses were just hanging on a rack. They had to be made ahead our visit.
"You look beautiful, Aggie." I smiled.
"Yes, like a proper young lady should." Kathryn added.
"Is that yours, Miss Edith? It's so pretty! You look like the sun!" The child marveled with a fascinated stare.
"Monsieur will be pleased?" The shop owner asked Kathryn in a quiet tone.
"Very, Madam. You've out done yourself."
"Oui, I did rather." The French woman smiled knowingly. "Out of ze dresses, s'il vous plait."
When we returned to the house Anthony had yet to return. In fact he phoned later in the afternoon to let Kathryn know that he had been held up and wouldn't return in time for supper. She shrugged and told him a plate would be kept prepared in the kitchen for him.
"That's what he gets for refusing to come into town." Kathryn mused. "If he weren't so antisocial and put off London visits for years at a time… no wonder there's so much business to deal with when he does."
"Something to be said for the quiet comforts of the countryside." I shrugged.
It was nearly eleven when I realized there was no falling asleep. I tried to come up with logical reasons for my insomnia; new house, strange bed, excitement to wear the golden dress. But those were all excuses. I missed my nightly chat and goodnight kiss with Anthony. It was a habit we had fallen into and that I sorely wished for as I lie awake in bed.
The house had long since fallen silent. There would be no need for explanation of my borrowed nightwear if I were to creep into the kitchen for a snack or perhaps a glass of warm milk. Pulling the green robe closed I padded barefoot to the door, pausing to slip a hair ribbon around the door handle so I could locate my room again.
The kitchen was easy to find, there was just enough light to get me down the stairs safely. Though it took me a moment to realize that there was a glow coming from the kitchen.
"Miss Edith." Anthony greeted me in surprise, setting down his fork and folding up the file of papers he was going over. "Is everything all right?"
"Couldn't sleep." I explained sheepishly. "Thought I'd give warm milk a try."
"That's my specialty." He offered, standing and moving towards the fridge. "Aggie had nightmares when I first returned from the war and brought her home. And she always felt bad waking up Mrs. Maisie that I would see to her."
I smiled as he explained his singular culinary skill. For a few moments I was content to watch him move around the kitchen, pulling a shaker of something from a cabinet before locating a glass to use while the milk warmed on the stove.
"A sprinkle of cinnamon for flavor." He said, putting the cup before me.
"Thank you." I grinned, taking a sip. "Finest warm milk I've ever had."
With a proud smile he went about cleaning up, then retook his seat next to me at the staff table.
"Did your meetings go well?" I asked.
"Yes, just a bit eternal in length. I know that Agatha loves the city but I just so prefer the country. Walking the sidewalks becomes its own adventure here. I'd much rather be at Locksley."
"I don't blame you. It's hard to sleep with all that noise out there."
"How did everything go today?" He asked, trying his hardest to sound passive. But I could see that glint in his eye, he knew that if he had told me to get a dress before we went that I would have refused.
"Very well. Agatha behaved herself beautifully."
"And the dress…?"
"Hers or mine?" I asked coyly.
"I thought it might be a nice surprise." He offered with a shy smile.
"It was. Thank you. It's been a very long time since someone showed me such thoughtfulness. I really… you and your family have been so kind to me, Anthony. I really don't know how to convey to you how much it means…" I tried to get the words out but it was difficult with the tears that were threatening to fall. My own family, my blood, they could scarcely offer a thought in my direction. But the Strallans, they welcomed me with such ease and warmth.
"Of course, Edith… you know that we, Agatha and myself, we do so love having you around. I never thought that someone like you might be out there."
I smiled softly, resting my hand on top of his.
"It really is quite a dress." I said after a few moments of silence had passed.
"Oh? What color?"
"I think that will be a nice surprise." I teased. He smiled fondly at me, that crooked tilt of his lips that I had grown accustomed to. "Which opera are we attending?"
"As luck would have it The Mikado is currently showing."
"How marvelous. Agatha will certainly enjoy that."
He nodded, his gaze drifting downwards for a moment.
"You're wearing my pajamas." I glanced down at myself, as if this were new information and not an intentional action.
"So I am. Never got around to replacing my old set."
"You… you could, if you'd like, while we're in the city."
"No." I shook my head. "I've grown rather fond of these."
"How's that milk helping?" He asked, finally breaking the tension in the room.
"Working wonders."
"Well, I'm finished here, if you'd like to walk up together?" I simply nodded, taking my glass and his plate to the sink before meeting him at the steps. He turned the lights out after us, staying close to me as we climbed the dark staircases.
"I'm glad we still had the chance to chat tonight." He admitted quietly as we reached the second floor.
"So am I." I replied softly, turning to face him as we stopped at my door.
"Good night, Edith." He murmured in the same low tone before leaning down to kiss my cheek. Usually it was the other way around, I would rise on my toes to find him.
"Good night, Anthony." I managed before following him to kiss his cheek like always.
The next day was a flurry of activity. A bit of sight seeing for Agatha, lunch at one of the finer establishments, then home to dress for the evening. Kathryn pointed out that at her age she required more preparation time than us "young things."
As it grew darker outside my window and I changed into my golden gown I began to worry that Anthony might not like the frock. It was rather bright, much more eye grabbing than anything I usually wore. It was too late now to do anything about it. Checking my hair once more in the mirror, I deemed myself ready to go downstairs. As I started for the stairs a door closed a few steps away from me and Agatha hurried towards me, grinning in her new dress.
"Ladies don't run at the opera." I reminded her.
"But until we get there?" She asked with a hopeful tone.
"Just be careful. You don't want to fall and ruin your pretty dress."
She took my hand as we made our way downstairs to the sitting room where Anthony was waiting, already in his evening suit. I had never seen him quite so formal before. The look fit him well. It was a more modern cut, but I found I preferred it to early fashions that my father had always insisted on.
"Papa! You look so dashing! Like a movie star." Agatha exclaimed, hurrying to her father.
"Do you think so?"
"Oh yes. Doesn't he, Miss Edith?" She turned back to me, looking for agreement, which I gave freely.
"Yes, very dashing." I managed, trying not to sound like a complete fool when my tone sounded far too breathy for a normal compliment.
Our eyes met for a moment before Agatha reclaimed the focus of our attentions. Kathryn shortly joined us and it was time to leave for the evening.
"I thought you'd look spectacular in gold." He admitted, helping me into my blue velvet coat.
"I thought it was strange they would have dresses ready for us on arrival." I replied, quirking an eyebrow. He had been caught.
"I hope you don't mind that I took the liberty."
"Not at all."
"When I made the arrangements for the weekend with Kathryn I mentioned that you might need a dress."
"You don't think it's too…"
"Not at all. You look beautiful, it almost shines as brightly as you do." I could feel the blush rise to my cheeks.
Granny would have expired on the spot if she knew what happened next.
We walked to the opera house.
Madness, I know. But it was only a short block from the house, which was on the edge of the neighborhoods before spilling into the theatre district, a deciding factor in Kathryn choosing the house to begin with. We settled into the private box at the theatre, one that Kathryn reserved on a regular basis. Agatha quickly opted to sit in her father's lap so that she missed nothing, which we all preferred to her leaning across the edge of the balcony. Especially considering the jump she gave when the first loud drums of the overture struck. The first act passed quickly, blissfully, without my knowing that in another box across the way a familiar face was trained on mine.
Intermission came along with a gloved hand wrapping around my upper arm. With a gasp I turned, fearing the worse but instead finding the smiling face of:
"Aunt Rosamund!" I exclaimed, my heart suddenly in my throat.
"Edith, fancy meeting you here." She smiled sharply, as if she had been coming up with her questions throughout the entire first act. "Are you going to introduce me?"
I suddenly remembered that Anthony, Kathryn, and Agatha were all standing behind me. The latter situated comfortably between Anthony and myself. Before turning back to them I gave her a pleading look, which must have conveyed some of my desperation.
"Uh… Aunt Rosamund, this is my employer Sir Anthony Strallan, his daughter Agatha and his sister Kathryn."
"Pleasure to meet you all." She nodded, making no qualms of the fact that I forgot to mention her title.
"And a pleasure to meet you. We haven't had the chance to meet any of Edith's family." Anthony replied, politely taking Rosamund's hand for a moment.
"Yes, well one day I'm sure. May I steal Edith away for a moment, I'll have her back for the second act."
"Of course. You must be eager to catch up." Anthony nodded.
"Again, lovely to meet you all." Her grip tightened on my arm as she led me away to a small nook near the staircase leading back to the box. "What on earth are you doing, Edith? Employer? Robert and Cora have been worried sick."
I gave her a doubtful look at her last comment.
"Well they've been worried. Where have you been all these months?"
"I was in the village for a few weeks. But my funds were dwindling and… well there was a posting for a governess."
"Have you been in the country this whole time?" Rosamund asked in surprise.
"Yes, about twenty minutes from Downton. So I find it difficult to believe they've been searching for me."
"Edith you can't stay away forever."
"Why not? They don't need me there, they have Mary. You know that they all…"
"They don't."
"They do!" My voice rose slightly. I glanced back over towards the Strallans, surprised to find Anthony watching me. "They do and frankly it's better for all of us if I just stay away. Aunt Rosamund, I'm happy. Truly happy. I'm doing something with my life and I adore that child."
"And her father." She observed easily.
"Yes." There was no lying to Aunt Rosamund. The woman had always been able to read me like an open book.
"I won't lie for you."
"Please."
"If Robert asks if I've seen you I won't lie. But I will keep the rest of the details to myself. But Edith, you can't stay away forever."
"Maybe one day. But for now… I'm happy, for the first time in my life." Rosamund smiled sadly, patting one of my cheeks.
"I know, sweetheart. Let me hear from you once in a while." I nodded and she pulled me into a hug. "Go on, I've a gentleman waiting for me. As do you."
"Everything all right?" Anthony asked when I returned to them. I just nodded quietly, watching my aunt disappear into the crowd. My last ally in the family.
The rest of the evening passed quietly. As we walked home Anthony carried Agatha who just managed to stay awake until the end of the opera, but promptly fell asleep as soon as the curtains closed. Back at the house Kathryn said goodnight before disappearing to her room while I accompanied Anthony to Agatha's room to help get her into bed.
He pulled off her jacket as I saw to her shoes and socks. We managed to get her changed without waking her, with a kiss to her forehead we left the room. At first I had intended to return to my own room, instead I found myself being led back downstairs to the sitting room.
"Everything is not all right." He said, leading me to the sofa before fetching two tumblers of whiskey from the cart.
"It was a surprise to see my aunt is all." I tried to leave it at that but he saw right through my words.
"That isn't all."
"I… I ran away." I finally managed.
"From home?"
"Yes. There… there were a lot of contributing factors but one night… it was just too much and I ran away." I managed, not bothering to stop my tears.
"Your family doesn't know where you are?"
"Aunt Rosamund does now. She… she only confirmed what I knew. They didn't look for me. It's easier for everyone concerned if I stay away."
"I can't imagine anyone finding their life easier without you, Edith."
"You're in a very small group with that opinion, Anthony." I managed with a chuckle, trying to brush my tears away. He offered his handkerchief, hesitating before putting his other arm around me.
"If you don't want this discussed any further than we won't. But I don't like seeing you upset."
"Thank you." I murmured, resting my head against his shoulder. I didn't realize how tired I was until my eyes drifted shut. When I woke in the morning I found myself in bed, still wearing my dress, with no memory of getting there. Anthony must have carried me.
After tea and a very trying visit to the bookstore with Agatha we made it to the station just in time for the evening train. Worn out from the excitement of the weekend Agatha fell asleep, clutching her new copy of Anne's House of Dreams, resting her head in my lap. Absently I stroked her curls, watching the scenery pass.
Pulling my attention back to our compartment I looked up to find Anthony watching us thoughtfully. I smiled, continuing to smooth Agatha's hair.
"She's ready to go home." I whispered.
"I think we all are." He replied, holding my gaze for a long moment.
"We are." I replied, glancing down again at the girl, then back to her father. Yes, I was looking forward to going home.
