Torn
Hello Twlighters!! You guys are awesome. Thank you to all who have reviewed. Once again greatly appreciated. Luv you all. Ahh i love Edward! I am reading Midnight Sun and i feel like i want to sympathasize with everything he's been through. Another random tid bit.:) enjoy
"Hey T-love hmm interesting do you wish i would hold you while you sleep?" "You do love me you admit it" Jacob said grinning; the warmth touching his brown eyes. " Yes i do." "Umm Jake i just wrote this i don't really think it." He interrupted me. "Its so cute how you get so flustered around me" I glowered at the computer screen. "I'm glad you enjoy it" i retorted sarcastically. My window flew open and in comes Edward with wind copper swept hair. Edward's golden eyes glinted in amusement. "So you love me Twilghtllove hmm why thank you so do i but what are you talking about i am utterly confused." His expression was puzzlement and frustration. "Well its in your point of view so i get to get inside your mind and know what you were feeling and doing during Twilight. Edward looked at me appalled and awed at the same time. "So you get to read my mind but i can't read yours how unorthodox." He smiled mischeivously. "The dog seems to be under some dillusion that you love him." Jacob growled. "Edward I like him too." Jake kisses me. Suddenly my favorite vampire doctor shows up. "Hello Twilightllove is it?" Carisle asked in an appealing voice. I felt my mouth drop open. "Yes oh there is so much i want to talk to you about i can't believe you are actually here. You are such an inspiration to me and your kind." My voice began jumping octaves. "Well i am flattered um" "Oh right um Dr. Carisle Cullen could you read the disclaimer for me?" His golden eyes were patient and his smile slightly raised. "Twilightllove does not own the Twilight series or its characters except for Sarah. They all belong to Stephanie Meyer. "Okay people enjoy the story while i hang out favorite vampires and werewolf."
Whoa where am I? I can't remember anything. I just remember having a dream about meeting Edward and Jake. And why is it so hot! I need to take this off. I willed my arms to reach for the bottom of my shirt; to remove the offending article. I froze because felt the outline of a pair of big warm hands. I awoke disoriented because I realized a pair of arms was wrapped securely around me. I heard faint snoring in the background and felt the rumbling in the body's chest next to me.
I allowed my eyes to adjust to the dim light of the moon and the stars. I was sleeping next to Jacob Black on the forest floor; his body pressed tight against mine. And let me tell you it does not help when you are in Bella's body. I sighed but could move very little. I tried to struggle free but of course Jake had an iron tight grip. For a few minutes I watched Jacob sleep peacefully; taking in his features. I memorized his serene calm expression, the lift of his full lips, and the russet color of his skin beneath his surprisingly soft midnight hair. I tried to squeeze myself out of his arms. I smelled his scent; it was musky and woody. I blinked disoriented and flushed. Is it just me or does Bella's bdoy seem to always react to embarrassment gosh i haven't blushed so much in my entire life. Damn this sucks but its awesome because i am sleeping next to Jacob Black.
I looked around me taking in my surroundings then I noticed Edward and Alice looking at me; still as statues only their lips moving. I felt the perspiration build up on my forehead and my body. Jake is burning me up. Oh he is so handsome and peaceful when he's asleep. I'd have to sleep next to him in my underwear just to keep from developing heat stroke. I suddenly blushed so hard; I felt my face would combust into flames. Why would I think that! I would never… I didn't allow myself to finish that thought. All because of the proximity between Bella's body and Jake and his alarming body heat; my mind was quickly taking a trip to the perverted lane. Stupid hormones. Huh Jake smells woodsy probably because he's a werewolf but when he kissed me it tasted different; like cinnamon. It was sweet but a little spicy. His lips were so soft but yet so rough. Okay no I will not think about it. Because it just makes me feel hmm hormonal yeah that's the word. I and my stupid hormones don't need to be adding gas to the fire. I bit my lip; debating how I would get free from this or if I could even force my body to move. I thought to my body. Traitor.
Edward seemed to notice my struggle and probably my increase in sweat; I was sweating so much it felt like rain. I felt my hair stick to my face. I looked into his golden eyes pleading and totally entranced. "Ugh I can't breathe and I feel like I'm having a heat stroke." I whispered. Edward moved closer to me. Edward made a disgusted face; his nose wrinkled. I remembered he didn't like the way the werewolves smelled. This was strange to me because I thought Jake smelled fine. But I guess it is one of those things I can't understand.
"If you knew the dreams he was having" He said in velvety, hushed whisper; his eyes full of distaste. He ran a hand through his hair; frustrated obviously. My skin had turned a vivid scarlet red already darker from the increase in heat. Then he swiftly disentangled me from Jacob's arms. I groaned as Edward laid me on the ground; I scooted into his cold lap. He smiled at me and looked at me amused, curious, and frustrated. I wished I knew what people were thinking particularly Edward Cullen. I continued to lose myself into his golden orbs; as if his eyes would tell me the secrets he kept locked away. Subconsciously I started to scoot closer to his cold, hard body. Without thinking I blurted out "Edward what are you thinking?" I was morbidly curious and couldn't help myself. Edward looked at me surprised but quickly recovered. His full, white lips turned into a smile. His voice was even smoother and seductive then before.
"Hmm well I was just considering the situation; what it would be like to meet the real you. And of course there is the matter that I can't read your mind. Oh and what was it like kissing Jacob?" His voice descended at the end. My eyes felt like they would pop out of the sockets. "Umm well uh I can't really. Hey I thought you said you can't read my mind" Edward looked at me amused and frustrated. "So you admit it then" He said slyly. Then he added casually. "The dog's thoughts sort of gave you away." I blew out an anxious and annoyed breath and avoided his eyes playing with a strand of grass. "Are you going to tell me?" He asked; his voice persistent and soft. I looked into his eyes and saw the anticipation and caution in them. "I jsut can't believe i am here its hard to rally think about things like that" i blurted out. "You are avoiding the question" He said smirking. "Oh and please stop each other names can't we all get along?" He smiled and leaned closer meeting my eyes "Yes i will refrain from this childess act of name calling. Now can you answer my question" He said purley amused. "Ugh fine i have never been kissed before not even by Jared." I felt my voice drift. "It was unexpected and rough" I felt my eyes grow wider as i explained the feeling of it all. "and i actually kind of liked it." i mumured softly.
Edward looked surprised and in a way aghast. "So what was it like when I kissed you?" He asked me truly serious. I diverted my eyes and tried to pretend as if I hadn't heard the question. However Edward being the good reader he is could see through my acting. He leaned in to kiss my neck. To my surprise my body shuddered in pleasure and I felt my eyes close on their own accord. He whispered in my ear. "Please I really am curious. I won't laugh." He said; I could feel his lips on my ear. Edward Cullen you will not use your alluring powers on me. Did he just blow in my ear. Ugh does he know what that does to a girl. Geez him and Jake have this power to make you say whatever you want with just their eyes or thier lips. Whenever they look at me i spill my secrets like we're old friends. Wait what was i saying. Gosh. "What?" i asked incoherently losing my train of thought. He smiled. "What was it like when i kissed you?" Ugh was it possible for anyone's voice to sound so alluring. Geez. I bit my lip. "I well i told you. I well... um it was cold." I stuttered quickly. "You have to do better than that" He said unconvinced but his eyes were amused. "Ok well it soft, um sweet?" "and really effected my memory" He chuckled. "Ok well then now i know" He said smugly in a soft whisper.
Edward put his hand on the side of my face. He turned my head to look at him. I looked up and saw the lust even more prominent in his beautiful topaz eyes. I looked around and realized I was alone. Jake snoring was few yards away and Alice had taken off. I gasped and looked at the ground. I had never felt so vulnerable and delighted at the same time. No I will not kiss him even though i want to so bad ugh. I am not some girl who just goes and snogs any guy she sees. Edward started to lean in; I could smell the amazing scent of him and Bella's body yearned to give in. However my mind was stronger. "Edward" I said in a raspy whisper. "I'm not Bella." Edward looked upset briefly but then he understood me completely. He stroked my cheek tenderly as my eyes closed. "Sarah you are right." He said softly, but I heard an undercurrent of emotion in his words.
His golden eyes never left mine as he leaned down to kiss my cheek. I smiled at him but could feel the passion burning around us. "So am I better than the wolf?" He asked ruefully playing with my hair. I groaned in annoyance; did he really need to know that. I glowered at him but to no avail. "Why does it matter? And what about Bella" I asked uncertain. Edward met my eyes in them I could see the prying and a hint of playfulness. "I'm confused. I really..." i said quietly. He said confidently. "Well I need to some up my competition." He ran his fingers through my hair. "Really I can't see why. When I turn back into myself Jake will probably will give up. No boy has really paid any interest in me except my ex-boyfriend Jared." I could feel the passion in my words overwhelm me when I said me first love's name. I felt my heart ripping metophorically. "And Bella loves you more than Jacob." "You can't know that for sure." He said crestfallen. He continued growing more intense in his defense. "No I will not abandon you and I do truly want to meet you even stay friends if you want. Bella deserves better than me. I am monster all i do is make her miserable" His eyes were sad and loathing. "She wants to take away her life for me. To become this" He gestured angryiliy to his glorious body. I leaned back on the grass. I took Edward's arm and forced him to look at me. Edward laid by my side staring at the stars. "No you are wrong. You are the greatest thing that ever happened to her. And really you have taught me so much and i truly got to know who you are. Of course i will be there for you if i can" i said uncertainly. "She feels for Jake but Edward you would have to be blind to not see how much she loves you." I said those words with complete confidence.
A ghost figure appeared beside us. Alice appeared and sat next to us her legs crossed underneath her petite form. "So did you too have fun" Her eyebrows were raised and her soprano voice was full of implications. "Alice it was not like that." Edward defended; winking at me. "You pereverted little imp" Edward cooed. I looked at Alice in disbelief. Gosh everyone is so perverted! Is there anyone who has a clean thinking mind here?! He spoke aloud She smiled wickedly "You know Jasper and I had our first experience here in this meadow." She grinned from ear to ear."Ugh Alice that is disturibing" She glared "Shut it Edward it was very romantic." I grinned; i was really starting to love Alice. "I'm glad you have Jasper , Alice he completes you." I held in a laugh. I sound like a shrink. Alice smiled widely and giggled. "I love him" She sighed. "We know" Edward retotred. I stretched my body on the even ground.
I sighed to release the tension in my muscles and the homesickness I suddenly felt; Edward looked at me prodding for a reaction from me. "My mother always used to tell me looking at the stars was like looking into a person's soul. You can see so many things in the stars and they even tell stories." I said smiling remembering the memory; when I was child in Tennessee. Edward and Alice looked at me taken off guard for a minute; they obviously weren't expecting that.
"Do you miss them?" Edward said turning to me. I took a deep breath and looked back at the stars. "Yea my mom is such an insightful person and my aunt is funny but tough. They have taught me so much in my life and helped me through everything." I said with admiration and love in my voice. Edward's eyes were suddenly cautious.
"What about your Dad you never mentioned him." Edward said in a light whisper. "I don't live with my dad. I moved out when I was sixteen. My aunt needed help so I decided to live with her. My mom tries to visit my dad when she can and sometimes I do too. But I feel like my parents' relationship is deteriorating" I paused as I felt my dismay sink in. "It is not the same. My aunt Darla; my second mom I call her is the greatest so it is not so bad." Edward looked even more surprised and impressed. "You truly are very brave Sarah. I feel I understand your dejection for love" Edward said with disapproval and melancholy. I laughed without humor.
"Ha love is blind. It's a big joke. I thought I had found it with Jared but he found Trish in our time dating. And my friend Stephanie lost her husband to a car accident. They were to be married." I choked; remembering the emptiness and disbelief on her face when she found her husband dead. Oh no please I don't want to cry in front of them. No one needs to see that. I suddenly got up and hugged my arms around my chest. I took a deep breath to compose myself. "Charlie's going to wonder where I am if I don't get back." I said in a calm voice; my back toward them. "Edward she's right. Let her go home it has been a long day. Sarah?" Alice said in her soft, musical voice. I turned to her "Yes?" "Will you and Edward come to our house tomorrow? I'm sure the family would love to meet you" I shifted from foot to foot; assessing the situation. I looked at Alice; she looked absolutely radiant. Her smile glinted in the dark, her hair framed her face; she looked angelic. "Sure" I said smiling; I really had always wanted to meet Carlisle, the vampire who used his gift for the good of man. And the rest of them are interesting as well. "Umm I better wake Jacob up you know."
I said walking away towards the slumbering werewolf. I passed through the trees that hid me from Edward's and Alice's view. I bent down and nudged Jacob. No response at all. "Jacob" I grunted trying to push him; bad idea I lost my footing and landed on top of him. "This is great!" I fumed sarcastically. Now Jake going to think i'm a big idiot or a crazy stalker. For crying put loud i'm right on top of him. Jacob sat up with a fast jerk. His eyes snapped open to find me lying on top of him.
"Glad you think so" He chuckled huskily. I got up to save my self further embarrassment. "Where you going you were comfortable were you were before." His eyes seemed darker and a playful smile touched his lips. "Jacob I was trying to wake you up so I pushed you but I fell on top of you." I said looking at him feeling my stupidness overwhelm me and my embarrassment of the way it all looked. "Ah babe if you wanted to snuggle all you had to do was ask." He said winking and then he ran a hand through his messy hair. His smile was sarcastic. So he didn't mid huh. I smiled allured by his 'Jakeness'. "Jake I'm going home so I kind of need you to let go of me." I mumbled. He laughed even more.
"Hmm persuade me." He said huskily in my ear. "I'll make you have the sex talk with my mother when you meet her." I said smiling at my inside joke. He smirked; his eyes were amused. "You'll have to do better than that. My dad beat you to the punch. And believe me Billy is worse. Don't have sex or you'll die i believe were his words" He said his smile even wider. I scowled. "How about a kiss?" He suggested. "Okay but i'm not that good at it" I asked in whisper. He shook his head; his hair tickling my skin.
"Humor me" He whispered. I closed my eyes and leaned forward. I felt my lips touch his and let it last a few seconds. Jake pushed his tongue through my moving lips and I moaned. He knotted his fingers in my hair. His scorching body pressing closer. I broke away flushed red. "Jacob Black you do that every time" I said surprised and exasperated. I ran I a hand through my hair flustered. He laughed. "I can't help it you taste so good. And lets face it I like it and I think you do too" He brushed my cheek. He said with pride that he once again managed to inhibit my brain and breathing. "Well i... have to go" I said realizing the Charlie-dilemma.
He looked a little disappointed but slackened his hold on me. I stood up and brushed myself off; trying to distract myself from the events that had just taken place. I walked past him; trying to shake away my dizziness. Jacob stepped in front of me; lightning fast. "Don't be mad Sarah. I was just joking. Though I do like kissing you." He added ruefully. I looked up at him he was smiling and felt ease up from my tension. I smiled. " i wasn't mad. So can I visit you sometime? I'm sure the others will want to know about the situation."
"Sure, sure they would love to meet a nut case." He teased; I pouted. "Kidding" He laughed. I smiled back and winked despite myself I felt kind of light and buoyant. "Goodnight Jake." I leaned to whisper in his ear. "Night Sarah." He said; his eyes were sparkling and his lips turned into a smile. He hugged and me and in flash he was gone.
I stepped through the ferns and watched Edward's worry melt into relief and anger. His soft voice was harsher "What took you so long? We should have come with you." I felt my temper flare as I was being treated like a child. "Edward I am not a child and I am perfectly capable of handling myself!" "Honey, my brother is overprotective. So this is normal it is just because he cares for you. But really Edward you need to lighten up." Alice added ruffling Edward's hair smirking at him. "Can I please go home?" I spoke up. In one fluid motion Edward had me in his arms. "You could warn me when you do that." I said breathlessly. Edward laughed musically. I smiled despite it all. "Where's Alice?" I said snuggling into his chest. "She left to go home." The wind whipped past me and the calmness of the night drew me in to a peaceful sleep.
I was not aware when I ended up in Bella's bed but I sighed in content and welcomed the soft material to my aching, tense muscles. I felt a cold lips on my neck, cheek, and forehead. Curiously. My arms reached out blindly reaching for him; as if to know what his skin really felt like "So do i ever get to see one of you in the sun." I held his arm and traced the contours of his muscles. He sighed; frustrated. "You are supposed to be sleeping" He said in a teasing yet disapproving silky voice. "Please I can't help but be curious." I opened my eyes to look through the lashes and pouted my lips. "I can't go to sleep with you kissing me. Really Edward show some control." I murmured; my eyes were still closed. But i opened my my to mock him teasingly. Ha maybe he'll see what it feels like to persuaded by me for once. I smiled to myself. "Its inevitable maybe tomarrow i do hear it is supposed to be quite radiant." He smiled crookedly. "Oh okay" i breathed after a minute. "What if I sing to you then will you fall into a peaceful slumber." I laughed softly. "Maybe" His soft velvety voice was so alluring and soft when he sang. I immediately felt at peace.
