Author's Note: Right on time! I personally hope everyone's having a Happy Valentine's Day. I mean, I despise the holiday with a passion, but I hope you guys don't. Me, I've got work and the release of Civ 6: Gathering Storm to be my Valentine.
Disclaimer: I don't own Total Drama, the shuffled concept or the (most of) the characters.
ANNOUNCMENT: Have you guys missed seeing Tyler? Well good news! He's coming back for the Ridonculous Race. He and his buddy Steven will be competing as 'The Jocks'. And I'm really excited for their story.
And to answer some reviews:
That British Guy: Rule of Funny. We must never question it.
Phenomenal Excelsior: Ugh, I hate non-elimination chapters. I feel like I have to work twice as hard to keep it from being filler. I don't know, something about the Katie/Geoff pace just seems off to me. I'm considering extending that plot past the season. It is amazing how much comedy I can squeeze out of a guy who doesn't talk though. And the team swap does force Courtney to confront her feelings.
PurpleShadowManipulator: Thanks! You don't know how glad I am here you say the interactions were good. I hate writing scenes that don't lead to an elimination. Geoff is one of my favorites this season. I really feel like I've perfectly merged his first season and Captain Hollywood personas. And Izzy's saneness was a nod to the disaster challenge in season two. It's surprisingly hard to make her balance her crazyness and her intelligence. And I will definitely check out your story this weekend.
StarHeart Specials: Responsible Izzy was one of my favorite moments in season two. This was the perfect challenge to add it in here. You know, I never made the connection between the Geoff/Courtney rivalry and Duncney. Well since fan response has been so well, I can say that Brickney will end better than Skave. And as for why Skave was ended like that, I read somewhere that the writers wanted to show that not all relationships work out. Of course they could've done a much better job about it.
Nicky Haugh: Thanks!
Guest: Nope, I fully plan on finishing this series out. Sorry, but I'm planning for the last few pairings of the series to enter crack territory. We only saw it for one episode in canon, but sane Izzy was my favorite. Honestly, the Bridgette and Brody references were to fill time because I'd already cut enogh of the episode. But I'm glad you liked it! And I couldn't leave Brick's fear out. It just fit so well.
Derick Lindsey: I'm not planning on abandoning this yet. To much work was put into it. In hindsight splitting up B and Dawn made a lot of sense. Those two were close friends and half the team, the other half of which hated each other. It's still a bit unfair. No worries about the short review. Not a lot of twists that time. And yes, Geoff and Brody will be competing under their preproduction name of the Bromance Bros.
Gucci Mane LaFlare: Thanks. I'll take 'decent' it's a pretty big comfort.
Tempokeep: It made sense as an elimination, too many carbs. All I'll say about the Scarlet episode is that I'm really looking forward to it. Of course there's only one way to know if yo're right about this one.
Guest 1138: Well as interesting as they can be given this is the last pre-merge challenge. I'm actually pretty please to hear you can't nail down who'll be eliminated. It means I've been doing a good job with the plots. Or my penchant for curveballs is making me predictable.
Jubilee Jigsaw: Thanks, but to be honest, that wasn't a high bar.
Remaining Campers:
Waneyihtam Maskwak: B, Brick, Courtney, Geoff
Pimâpotew Kinosewak: Dawn, Izzy, Justin, Katie
Be vewy vewy quiet, Chef's hunting campers
Episode 08: Three Zones and a Baby
"Last time, on Total Drama!" Chris began, the capstone theme opening over a long-distance shot of the island before the recap montage began. "The players had a ball," the host said over a clip of all the campers but Brick jumping into their respective teams' Turbo Orb, "that quickly rolled into a pit that everyone had to escape!" The orbs were shown rolling into the opening of the pit cave, then bouncing off the ledges and walls as they fell through it.
"Geoff and Courtney traded barbs," Chris continued as the montage flashed to the two snarking at each other before the challenge, "a lot," the party boy and prep were shown arguing shortly after escaping the cave-in, "and it was awesome." Courtney was shown sending one last barb at Geoff while they were facing down the army of gophers.
"Meanwhile, Dawn and B found more than they should've," the two Bears were shown walking into an elevator, "and Team Kinosewak showed us how not to win a challenge," the four ran in horror out of the outhouse, "in the most dis-gus-turbingly hilarious way ev-er!" The four were shown with disgust, and hysterics on Justin's part.
"No one went home," Chris said as the montage skipped ahead to Dawn hugging B goodbye, "but I busted out a little McLean magic," Dawn was shown approaching Brick, who stood up and walked away, "and made Dawn and Brick switch teams."
The montage ended there, and the scene flashed to Chris standing by the rear of the cannon. "But, this is today," he told the camera, "and someone will blast away!" he gave the cannon a loving pat. "So hip-hip-hooray, for Total! Drama! Paaaaaahkitew Island!"
XXXXX
[Though the sequence remained short, it opened much the same as it had in previous seasons – a shift into letterbox format for a shot of a rocky forest waterfall, a stagelight rotating up from behind some rocks and turning on. Then a shiny spotlight swings down from the unseen branches of some mossy, mushroom-ridden tree. The shot moves to a pond where a brown bear wearing a scuba mask sits in the water glaring at a frog on a lily pad, both animals looking surprised as the lily pad is suddenly lifted into the air by a security camera rising up from below it. A seagull perched on a rock on the beach is flattened by a panel in the rock slamming down on it, another camera emerging from within, and a pair of white-skinned hands clap a film slate in front of the main camera.
As the film slate is pulled away the scene transitions to a rocky stream, and the camera flies forward to see Anne Maria, spraying her hair in front of a coughing and annoyed Chris. He shoves her out of the way just as the camera passes and the lyrics start.]
I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)
[The camera quickly flies through the pine trees, landing on Katie and Sadie eagerly picking berries from a bush and eating them. They look to the right to see Justin smiling with his hands on his hips, and the girls squeal in delight. Then they run over and hug him to Justin's shock and discomfort, and the camera quick-pans away.
It lands on Dawn and Courtney standing on top of a cliff. Dawn says something with a calm and serious expression, prompting Courtney to angrily turn around and cross her arms. Suddenly, Izzy runs past the two girls and jumps off the cliff and they gasp in shock. Izzy raises her arms and falls with a cackle.]
I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)
[The camera quick-pans downward to show Izzy falling past Britney and Brick, the two scaling the side of the cliff. They look back over their shoulders to watch the girl fall with blank and confused looks.
Another quick-pan takes the camera to Dave sitting on a rock, his fingers in his ears and an irritated look on his face. To the left is Jaxon, a book in one hand and his other arm outstretched dramatically as he spoke. And on the right is Geoff, pumping his fist excitedly.
The camera moves to the left to show B and Cameron standing next to a large robot that looked like it was made out of old appliances and electronics. B presses a button on a remote with a smirk, that turns in to a look of shock when the robot grabs Cameron by the hoodie and tosses him off-screen.
The lyrics end there, and the camera suddenly flies forward through the shrubs behind B to emerge at the roaring campfire. The usual whistling finishes begins as Britney and Dave are shown sitting together by the fire. Britney looks giddy as Dave leans forward expectantly, only for Courtney to suddenly step forward with an angry glare and make Dave stop and sag in disappointment.
Britney frowns and sags as well, and then to the camera as it pulls back to reveal the full cast – Cameron, B, Katie, Sadie, Geoff, and Dawn on the left next to Courtney and Britney with Chris standing nearby; Justin, Izzy, Brick, Anne Maria, and Jaxon next to Dave, with Chef standing behind them.
The misshapen signpost on the gateway to the elimination area read 'Total Drama Pahkitew Island' in big block letter over three lines.]
XXXXX
A peaceful, lilting tune played as the scene opened on the Salmons' bunker, the camera soon zooming in through the front window. A close-up showed Dawn sleeping peacefully in lotus position on a bed that, based on its orientation, had once belonged to Anne Maria; without opening her eyes, she cleared her throat and said "Is there something on your mind Katie?"
"How'd you know?" Katie asked in awe, the camera pulling back to show her brushing her hair in front of the small stand below the front window. "Gah!" she yelled in surprised when the camera pulled out just enough to show that Dawn was standing right next to her and peering at her.
Dawn pursed her lips, then took a step back. "It's all over your aura. You want me to vote for Justin."
"You can read auras?!" Izzy asked in excitement, rushing to Dawn and pulling her to the other side of the room before the other girl could attempt a reaction. "Read mine! Read mine!"
Dawn looked at the wild card intently for a moment, the smiled uncomfortably.
XXX
"Izzy's aura was like... if someone had a paintball fight in an museum of abstract art," Dawn confessed slowly. "I've never seen anything like it."
XXX
"Hey girls, have you got breakfast yet?" Justin's voice called out from across the divider.
"You could've gotten something yourself," Izzy answered back, both her and Katie's faces turning to scowls.
"No can do ladies," the model called back. "This is my first morning not being woken up by Brick and I'm staying in. Plus I found some fruit that works great removing discoloration from bruises."
The shot zoomed in on Katie as she stormed out with trembling rage. "Lazy, lying, good-for-nothing..." she muttered before slamming the door with enough ferocity that the whole structure shook.
Dawn from the door to the divider to Izzy, then sighed deeply.
\
A flash took the scene to the Bears' treefort as Geoff and B led Brick to the firepit. "We're back with breakfast, Courtney!" Brick called out towards the girls' side before laying his bag of fruit down on the ground next to Geoff and B's.
"So like I was saying," Geoff told the boys, "Brody tells me that he thought I was supposed to pack the wetsuits. We only had enough cash for food and a motel and neither of us are about to drive five hours for some clothes."
Brick and B gave the party boy an amused look. B then rolled his eyes in way that suggested he could definitely see that happening.
"That sounds like a predicament," Brick said. "But you gotta tell us, what'd you do?"
"Okay, okay," Geoff laughed, and the camera cut to Courtney watching her team from the balcony with a half-hearted glare. "So we decided to just hit the surf anyway. I mean how cold could it really be...?"
Courtney sighed and went back into her side of the shelter.
XXX
"Of course Brick's bonding with the guys," she complained to the outhouse. "He's only kind, and thoughtful, and an amazing listener who can see past people's obvious flaws and still treat them like normal people."
"I just hope Geoff doesn't make him hate me," she added as a fearful aside.
XXX
"So, uh, looking forward to today's challenge?" Courtney asked B, the static cutting away to show them leaning over the balcony.
B gave a small shrug. He quickly noticed and looked back over his shoulder, a few tense notes playing as the camera panned down to show their teammates laughing at something.
B cut his eyes to the boys and sent a concerned glance at Courtney.
"Brick and I are friends," the prep explained sadly. "I don't want Geoff changing that. No matter how much I deserve it," she added quietly.
B's face portrayed he heard that last bit, but kept it to himself as he went into the boy's side of the treefort.
XXX
"It's simple," Courtney told the outhouse. "All I have to do is make sure the Salmons lose today, then the boys can't vote me off."
XXX
The static cut away to show Brick and Goeff sitting together on opposite sides of the firepit with a spread of fruit and fish between them.
"Man, I thought for sure the others would join us," Geoff commented.
"I guess they weren't hungry," Brick said. "Shame. I was hoping to compare and contrast strategy with Courtney," he smiled fondly. "She's something else," he explained to a mildly confused party boy. "I'm glad I have the chance to get to know her even more!"
Geoff swallowed a handful of berries. "Oh," he said with a blank look before a sudden realization seemed to come to him. "Ohhh!" he said slowly, ending with a knowing look and playfully mocking chuckle. "You like her, don't you?"
Brick promptly spat out a bite of cooked fish. "Wh-what? No I don't!" he spluttered in a panic. "I mean," he reasoned as he calmed down, "I like her as a friend and rival, well I suppose we're no longer rivals, but nothing more!"
"Dude chillax," Geoff said with a knowing nod, "I understand. Truth is, Courtney's pretty hot," he added with a thoughtful look. "She's just a bit to stuck-up for my tastes. But the point is," he looked back at Brick, "I've seen how you act around her. And that's not how friends act. You're into her."
Brick pursed his lips. "Maybe you're right. There's just something about her that just contents me, I guess. I like bein' around her. Maybe it's attraction, I don't know."
"Dude, have you never liked a girl before?" Geoff asked in disbelief.
"You don't have time for romance when you're in the cadets," Brick puffed himself up and declared.
Geoff smirked. "No worries man. I'll help you out. Anything to defrost the Ice Queen."
Brick awkwardly rubbed the back of his head and frowned. "Ice Queen?"
Just then, the sound of a blowhorn rang through the air outside. "Attention, by soon-to-be victims!" Chris announced cheerfully. "Your fate awaits at the grand clearing!" The shot cut to the loudspeaker, and then to the balcony of the treefort as Courtney and B gathered on it. "Last one there, eats a rotten e~egg!" the host taunted.
"Bear Company," Brick announced to his new team, "follow me!"
Courtney followed him with no objection, and B and Geoff shared a look before running after them.
\
The music rose up into a fast-paced tune usually used for challenges just before the scene flashed to the Salmon girls racing through the forest, Justin soon running up alongside them. "Hah! Looks like we've got this in the bag," he told them with a wide smirk. "No rotten eggs for this team, right ladies?"
The shot cut in close to show Dawn, Katie, and Izzy sharing a look. "Since when did you start putting in effort?" Katie asked.
"I've always been a team player," the model replied with a brief flash of nervousness. "Especially when there's such a beautiful girl on my team."
The camera pulled back just in time to show Justin, whose head was turned to look at Dawn, run straight into a tree. Katie and Izzy laughed as they ran onward with Dawn, and Justin groaned in pain.
XXX
"Okay, so Katie and Izzy aren't falling for me anymore," Justin confessed with a sense of calmness. "But that doesn't matter anymore. Now that Dawn's on the team, I've got a new edge. I just have to get her on my side and then it's a tied vote if we lose. Question is, which one of them should go?"
XXX
A flat fanfare played as the scene moved to a checkered starting banner, the camera panning down and to the left to show Chris and Chef standing with the usual TV cart. As the sounds of heavy breathing drew closer he checked his watch, and the camera soon pulled back to show Justin running up to take his place alongside his teammates with the Bears already there as well.
"Aaaaand Justin arrives last," Chris announced, a triumphant tune playing, "so! He gets to eat the rotten egg." He turned and nodded at Chef, who walked forward with a smirk.
"You're kidding right?!" Justin asked in a panic.
"Enjoy your meal," Chef said darkly, the shot zooming in as he walked up and held out a foul-looking egg to the model; Justin took one whiff of it and recoiled in disgust.
"I'll take that as a 'no'...," he said, covering his nose with his arm as he hesitantly took the egg. "Bottoms up," he said with a hint of nervousness as the camera focused on him. He gulped, then shoved the whole egg in his mouth...and scrunched up in disgust as an odd sound played.
"Alright, while Justin enjoys his well deserved brekkie," Chris said, drawing the model's watery eyes to the right, "the rest of you listen up." The shot cut to the smiling host, and he continued. "Today's challenge is called 'Hush, or Die'." An image took over the screen, depicting an orange arrow and a green arrow moving alongside a line that had been divided into three segments by tick marks. "The teams have to race through three separate and unique danger zones," Chris explained, a bluish logo bearing the number 1, 2, or 3 popping into place as the arrows passed by the corresponding section of the line. The camera pulled back to show the image on the television screen, and Chris raised a trio of fingers.
"The three zones have one thing in common, though," he added, switching to one finger before the on-screen image slid away to be replaced by a standard 'volume' icon with curved lines rippling out of it signifying the noise level. "The noisier you are, the greater the danger becomes." He smiled as an orange-ish skull and crossbones flew out of the on-screen icon.
The shot cut to an arrow-shaped sign with a '1' on it. "Area 1 is called," the camera pulled back and to the right to show several male lions dozing on the various boulders that littered the forest, "the Lion's Lunch. You gotta sneak through a field of sleeping lions. Wake one up," he joked as the camera panned onto even more lions, "and you're lunch! Haha."
"Sounds easy enough if they're asleep," Brick told his teammates.
"Oh," Chris interrupted, "and there are rattlesnakes, too." The camera panned from him back to the television, the live feed now focused on a snake curled up on a rock. It raised its head and hissed at the camera, rattling its tail as well.
"Oh...well okay then," Brick said nervously, "that's different."
"Okay guys," Izzy told her teammates. "No matter how friendly they seem, do not let those snakes kiss you. They've got super deadly venom. Pretty awesome right?"
"The venom in our snakes has been slightly diluted," Chris explained. "So, you'll only feel like you're gonna die! If you make it outta that zone alive," the camera moved back onto the TV, "maybe you'll die in Area 2!" The lived feed cut away from the hissing snake to a pan across an ordinary-looking stretch of forest. "The Pasta Blasta!" Chris announced dramatically. "Make a noise in zone 2, and blindfolded Chef will blast ya with pasta!" The feed cut to Chef Hatchet, standing blindfolded with his bazooka by a stack of cans of his own brand of extra-spicy spaghetti. A bird started singing overhead, and the camera pulled back to show him crouching down on the large stump he was stationed at and firing a blast of pasta. It hit the bluebird, plastering it to the trunk of the tree and scattering a few feathers in the process.
"Please," Courtney scoffed, "no one's ever died by pasta."
"Truuue," Chris said slowly. "Unless the burning-hot noodles cause you to scream and wake-up the carnivorous Pasta Bear," he pointed out with a grin, a bout of static transitioning the scene to a large cave with several empty pasta cans scattered in front of it, "forcing your team to untangle you before you get eaten alive."
"Yeah," Geoff said as the shot cut back to the stunned faces of the Bears, "I can see how that'd kill someone."
Another round of static cut the scene to a panning shot of what looked like a snowy mountain trail of all things, the usual arrow-shaped signs still marking the zone. "The last phase of the challenge is crossing the Avalanche Zone!" Chris explained, ending in a dramatic tone as the pan reached the checkered finish line at the very end.
"Avalanche Zone?" Justin repeated dismissively, the camera pulling back to show him walking over to the television with a smirk. "No need to explain what that zone is about since you gave it such an uncreative name."
Chris frowned in annoyance and took out a walkie-talkie. "Chef! Gimme a shot, 10 o'clock, 73° high, please?" A shot rang off as he lowered his arm, and seconds later a blast of saucy spaghetti sailed down and struck Justin in the chest.
"Aaagh!" Justin groaned as the camera cut to him lying on the ground struggling with the pasta pinning him down. "What is it with this show and my hair?"
"Here's the catch," Chris ignored the struggling model to explain the the campers. "It occurred to me that you kids are young and agile enough to handle this challenge easily. So it would be hilarious if I found a way to turn youth against you!"
The Bears all shared worried looks.
"You're worried already," Chris mused, "I like that. Anyway, to make things more fun for me, everyone will have to carry a special something through the entire challenge! It'll make it way harder."
"Sure," Katie said skeptically, "but I still don't get what any of that has to do with youth..."
Chris grinned, and the shot cut backwards to show a shadow slowly moving over the group. "I'm glad you said that. Release the babies!" he commanded, raising his arms to the air as the music rose up dramatically.
Everyone gasped and looked up, and the camera quick-panned upward to show a pair of familiar interns in the basket of a hot air balloon – hanging from the bottom of which were eight babies swaddled tightly in pastel cloth. The female intern pulled a cord, and the babies dropped...
XXX
"I thought Canadians were the nice guys!" Justin confessed in a panic.
XXX
A few deep, ringing notes played as Dawn, Katie, and Izzy were shown catching their babies with frantic looks on their faces. The camera panned left to show Justin doing the same, then B, then Brick, then Geoff, and lastly Courtney. One of the babies cooed in its sleep, but none of them stirred.
"This is insane," Courtney said, her eyes still wide. "You've crossed the line McLean!" The baby in her hands began to cry, and her eyes darted down to it.
Chris gently shushed her, then grinned. "They're sleeping," he stage-whispered. "You wake a lion up with a crying baby, and it's not gonna be a party!"
The shot cut back to Courtney as she nervously looked down at her crying baby. "It's okay little one," she said, rocking the baby slightly as a soft yet tense classical tune played. "You can sleep now, I won't let anything happen to you," The music became soft before fading away entirely as the baby settled back down into sleep, and Courtney smiled genuinely.
"Who knew you had a heart?" Geoff asked in a whisper, the camera pulling back to show him, B, and Brick all staring at her.
Courtney looked from the baby to scowl at him. "What's that supposed to mean?" she whispered harshly but quiet enough to keep her beby asleep.
"You're right," Geoff whispered back. "That was out of line."
"Aaand," Chris whispered, the shot jumping back out to show all of the campers looking towards him except Justin, who was still holding his baby out at arm's length and looking at it uneasily. "Go!' Chris finished, taking out his airhorn and giving it the slightest of toots.
\
The scene flashed to a close-up of Brick and Courtney cautiously tiptoeing through the first zone as a low, tense trill took over the background music. The camera pulled to show B and Geoff in the foreground, both looking around nervously at the sleeping lions and snakes but in doing so missing a small twig on the ground in front of them. B accidentally stepped on it and the music spiked; all four Bears froze as the snakes lifted their heads and started rattling.
A close-up showed a lion uttering a growling yawn and opening its eyes; it only blinked them a few times before falling back asleep. B sagged his shoulders in relief, and the focus moved to Brick and Courtney looking their way.
"Watch where you're going," Courtney hissed. "We can't mess this up!"
B just smiled sheepishly.
\
Another flash, and a low-to-the-ground shot showed Dawn stepping gingerly over a sleeping snake. The camera moved up and out as she sighed in relief, only for a slender and tan arm to reach out of a bush and pull her into it with a yipe.
The camera immediately cut to the other side of the bush to show all the Salmons there with their babies, Katie with a hand on Dawn's shoulder and a look to the side. "I have an idea," Katie said, the music becoming louder and more serious. "We keep our lead, then wake up anything we already passed. Let the others deal with the lions. What do you think?"
"Whatever," Izzy said with an apathetic shrug.
"Fine by me," Justin smiled.
The others looked at Dawn. "Well?" Katie asked her expectantly.
"Mmm...well...," she said uncertainly. "It seems a little...underhanded..." She glanced to the side, and the camera quick-panned over to show Brick stepping around a snake, then slowly stepping backwards. The camera followed him as he unwittingly neared a sleeping lion, but a heavy breath from it caused him to freeze in place.
"It's either them or us," Katie told her as the scene returned. "Look, you're on our team now, remember?"
"I know, but..." Dawn said, still looking hesitant.
"No buts," Katie told her. "You're on a different team now, and this team wants to win the challenge!"
XXX
"It's not that I want the others to get eaten," Katie defended. "But with lazy Justin, crazy Izzy, and Dawn, against the best players in the game, we need every advantage we can get."
XXX
"I saw Katie's aura," Dawn confessed. "It's starting to turn dark. I hope there's something I can do to stop it."
XXX
Dawn sighed. "I refuse to take part in this, but I won't stop you."
"Good enough I guess," Katie huffed. "But you better make good on not stopping us."
"I won't," Dawn said.
"Eee!" Katie smiled, bending down and picking up a stone, then throwing it off to the side. The shot cut to it landing next to a snake, causing it to wake up and start rattling – the camera pulling back to show it staring right at the four Bears.
"C'mon, let's go!" Izzy hissed at her teammates as the scene returned to them, the music turning tense as they all ran off. The camera lingered in place, however, to show the tree next to the bush they'd been hiding behind descend into the ground with a metallic whir...
\
The music spiked dramatically as the scene flashed back to the Bears looking down warily at the snake that was hissing and rattling in front of them. "Aw man...," Geoff muttered in muted panic.
"Just...just keep calm, everyone," Brick whispered. "We just gotta go around it."
"Around it where?" Courtney hissed, the camera moving behind them as she motioned to their front and the shot pulling back to show the snake sitting in the middle of a relatively narrow path between two lounging lions. "There's barely any room to walk!"
Brick gulped as the camera cut back to an angled shot in front of them. "Good point..."
"I think we should split up dudes," Geoff suggested. "Less chance of wakin' up that lion if we aren't all trying to squeeze past it."
"Also a good point," Brick said.
B nodded his agreement.
"Right," Courtney nodded before tiptoeing forward. Geoff followed her, while B and Brick headed off in a different direction; the viewpoint moved above and behind them to show them filing slowly around either side of the snake.
XXX
"Alright," Geoff said. "Time to see if Courtney's got a thing for Brick." He sighed. "Man, can you imagine how much better this game will be with her being nice?"
XXX
The static cut away to show the Salmons creeping through another part of the zone, Justin in the back and the girls in the front as they headed past another lion sleeping on a rock on the foreground. "Okay," Justin looked back and whispered, "I'm pretty sure we're ahead of the other team."
"Good," Izzy replied. "Just a little bit further and-"
All four stopped in their tracks as Justin's baby suddenly whimpered. "Oh no," the model moaned with wide eyes, holding the baby out at arm's length. "What's wrong with it?" It whimpered again, and the shot cut to the nearby lion stirring.
"How should we know?" Katie replied. "Figure it out yourself!"
"I don't know anything about babies!" Justin replied, his voice getting louder. His baby started crying, and the lion awoke with a snarl. "Oh, this is bad," he said.
"Yes. Yes it is," Dawn replied calmly, the camera pulling back to show the lion now standing and facing towards them. It roared, and they all screamed.
\
A pause sign appeared over the scene as it stopped, and the camera pulled back from the television to reveal it on the left end of an L-shaped desk. Chris was sitting at the outside corner in a tall-backed office chair and his usual smile.
"Will Team Kinosewak be eliminated from the challenge," he asked as the capstone theme played, "and existence right now? Or, will they somehow escape the Kings of the Jungle? And what about those babies, eh? How else are they gonna make everyone's lives more miserable? Find out soon, here on Total! Drama! Paaaaahkitew Island!"
\
(Commercial Break)
\
The episode resumed with a deep note, the camera just behind Dawn's right shoulder showing the lion growling and readying for a pounce. "We need to back away very slowly," the moonchild whispered. "And don't make any sudden movements," another deep note played as the camera moved in front of her as she slowly took a step back.
"If we run, he'll think we're food...," she said, the shot cutting to Katie and Izzy nervously backing away as a third deep note played.
The shot then cut to Justin sniffing his crying baby, then gagging. "Brain, I'm likin' what you just came up with," he said to himself, dashing forward with his baby held out in front of him.
"What are you doing?!" Dawn exclaimed in shock as Justinn ran past the girls, coming to a stop just in front of the lion. It stopped mid-snarl upon being confronted with the crying baby, then sniffed the air and cringed.
"Get outta here Simba!" Justin yelled at it, thrusting his baby towards it as it backed up and tried to cover its nose. He took another step forward, and the lion turned and fled.
"Uh," Katie said as the shot cut back to the three shocked girls, "what just happened?"
XXX
"Kid just needed a diaper change," Justin explained casually. "Would you wanna stick around a loud ball of smelliness?"
XXX
"Hey!" Justin grinned proudly as Dawn, Katie, and Izzy rejoined him. "Am I a genius or what?"
Izzy took a whiff of him and his baby, then held her nose and waved the air away. "Yuck! You smell like a butterscotch candy wrapped in rotten ham," she said.
Justin's baby started crying again, causing the girls to wince and quickly attend to their own infants before they woke up. "Yeah, we're just gonna go on ahead," Katie told him irritably. "Don't bother catching up until your baby's diaper is changed."
"But-!" Justin said in disbelief as Katie and Izzy started walking away.
"Sorry," Dawn stayed back to tell him, "but you're a target until you can get him calmed down."
"But I-" Justin tried to say before the camera pulled back to show that the moonchild was gone without a trace. "Where'd she go?"
\
The pause sign reappeared with a beep, and the camera pulled back to show Chris at his desk again. "Ouch," he cringed mockingly, "Looks like Justin isn't so hot right now. But since he and his teammates made it through the Lion's Lunch, they are ready for the Pasta Blasta!"
\
A deep, ominous riff played as the shot cut Chef loading his bazooka with another can of pasta, and blindly taking aim.
Katie gulped, and the camera pulled back to show her, Izzy, and Dawn all looking wary. "So...who wants to go first?" Katie asked with an awkward laugh.
"I'll go! I'll go!" Izzy cheered, running ahead before her teammates could reply.
XXX
"Hey no use trying to think of a plan when you can just head out," the wildcard explained with a shrug. "I mean, it's gotten me in trouble a few times, but what are the odds that'd happen here?"
XXX
Izzy smiled and held her baby close to her chest. "Alright, wish me luck," she told her teammates who silently waved her. A tense challenge tune rose up as she ran forward and slid legs-first behind a bush, only to roll forward from it moments later to hide behind a tree. The camera zoomed in as she leaned out cautiously from behind it, looked around, and nodded. "Okay, looks like the coast is clear," she whispered before tiptoeing back out into the open.
Moments later, she took a step and something honked; it startled her enough that she fumbled with her baby for a second.
"Did I forget to tell you the field is full of booby traps?" Chris asked over the loudspeaker, Izzy looking down at her feet and the camera cutting to her lifting her foot off a bike horn. "My bad!" the host finished as Chef was shown firing his bazooka with a grin.
Izzy screamed as she was hit with a large ball of meaty pasta, and the camera cut to her front to show her stuck to the trunk with pasta up to her chin, her baby held over her head. "Uh-oh," Chris taunted mischievously earning a nervous look from Izzy, "here comes Pasta Bear!" The camera pulled back just enough to show the left forepaw and hip of a bear standing up, with gold rings on two of its claws and some kind of strap around its waist and back.
The music turned tense as the viewpoint shifted back to the side, Katie and Dawn running up to their unpredictable teammate. "Katie, free Izzy," Dawn said. "I'll try and distract the bear."
"Got it," Katie agreed, stopping in front of Izzy as Dawn continued running. The hot-blooded girl set her baby down on the ground, then started pulling pasta off her teammate.
"Please friend," Dawn said, the shot cutting to her holding out her arms in a placating manner. "What? Are you a fake too?" As she spoke the camera cut to Pasta Bear's running feet, the back outward to show him – scuba tank on his back, gold chains around his neck, and blindfold over his eyes - running clear past Dawn to her suspisions.
"Did I forget to tell you that Pasta Bear is running on smell?" Chris asked mischievously as the bear was shown running along blindly, pausing to sniff the air, then resuming his run with an excited tongue-lolling grin. "My bad!"
Dawn's eyes widened. "Katie! You must hurry!"
The shot cut to Izzy and Katie, the latter frantically pulling pasta away faster and beginning to scream as the former scrunched her face in confusion. "Hey, that's Bling Bear!"
\
"Uggh, I can't believe people have these things on purpose," Justin groaned as the scene flashed back to him standing by the Zone 2 sign, holding what looked like a dirty diaper at arm's length with only two fingers. He tossed it away to the right, then turned his back to the camera, bent down, and picked up his baby – swaddled, awake, and smiling. "I have no idea if I did that right, but at least you're not crying anymore," he told it with a smile of his own
"What are you doing?" Courtney said, the camera zooming out to show her walking over with her own baby in hand. "You do know that baby can sense your nervousness. Right?"
Justin groaned. "I'm never gonna win this challenge," he whined.
XXX
"Hmm," Courtney said to herself. "He's attractive, and has a horribly inflated ego. I think I know how to guarantee my team a win," she decided mischievously.
XXX
"I feel bad for Courtney," Justin confessed seriously. "Have you seen her team? She's seriously starved for beautiful male company. And I am in an excellent position to fix that. Which should net me a pretty good ally when the teams merge."
XXX
Justin sighed and smiled, causing both babies to giggle. "Hey, from one beautiful and smart player to another-"
"Don't you have to get back to your team?" Courtney asked, visibly annoyed.
"Right!" Justin said in a poor attempt of seeming like he forgot, smacking his hand against his forehead. "One last thing before I go?"
Courtney rolled her eyes and sighed. "Make it quick."
"Okay, so I used to have the girls wrapped around my gorgeous little finger," Justin explained, missing the prep rolling her eyes. "But now it's like they're ignoring me. What's going on?"
An odd note played as the shot cut to Courtney's close-up, the prep looking annoyed. "Maybe they don't think you're that hot anymore?" she suggested as if it were the simplest answer in the world.
Justin's eyes widened as he was taken aback, then he started to laugh. "They don't think I'm hot," he repeated through his chuckles. "Good one Courtney. No it's gotta be something else. I'll ask them," he told the girl, turning around and walking away.
The camera lingered on Courtney as she started to smirk, then turned around at the sound of footsteps accompanied by a deep, ominous note. "What was that?" Geoff demanded, the camera pulling back to show him, Brick, and B finally arriving. "Why were you talking to him?"
"Believe it or not," she replied with a bit of sass, "I just helped the team. For real this time," she added seriously before walking off screen.
Brick quickly followed with a wide smile, and B started running off as well before he looked back at Geoff and slowed down. The shot cut to him close-up as he pursed his lips, and eyed Courtney's retreating form suspiciously.
"Team Maskwak are in to Zone 2!" Chris announced over the loudspeaker as B and Geoff ran off. "But do they have what it takes to catch up to Kinosewak?" he asked the camera as it cut to him at his desk.
\
The scene moved back to the Salmon girls, Izzy included, now running through the zone. "Unless Kinosewak figure out their problem soon," Chris continued via the loudspeaker once more, "I'd say yes."
A quick-pan back to the left showed Pasta Bear still chasing after them to the usual tense challenge theme, and the scene soon cut back to the girls as they shared a look.
"This thing is like some kinda robot assassin!" Izzy said.
"Why can't the other team make some noise to throw it off us?"
"But then it'd run into Justin," Dawn pointed out.
Katie let out an annoyed scoff as the camera cut outward. "No big loss."
The three were suddenly launched into the air by a long spring-loaded panel hidden in the ground, screaming as they flew backwards. Pasta Bear came roaring up to the panel and the pit below it, then stopped and sniffed the air. It grunted in confusion, then wandered off to the right.
The music trilled tensely as the shot moved to Katie and Izzy landing with screams in a bush. Moments later Dawn walked up to the bush with all three babies in hand. "I saved the babies," she told them, and Katie and Izzy stood up out of the bush and with looks of annoyance and shock and took their respective babies from her.
"How did you-" Izzy started to say.
"Aw come on!" Katie interrupted as she looked around. "We got launched back to the start!"
"Come on," Izzy cheered. "If we hurry we might get to do it again," she said, charging to the right with Katie and Dawn following shortly after, the music rising in pace and intensity.
The shot quickly cut to them catching up to Justin, the model sending a shocked look back over his shoulder. "Weren't you ladies in front of me a few minutes ago?"
"Yeah, but why are you so far behind?" Katie replied.
Just then, Courtney ran up to them with the rest of her team right behind her. "Hi again Justinn!" she greeted with an overly cheery wave, shocking all four Salmons. "Talk later!" she followed up with as she and her teammates ran on ahead.
"'Again'?!" Katie repeated angrily, glaring at Justin.
"Nothing you need to worry about," the model said condescendingly.
"Then why not tell us what you two talked about?" Katie asked.
"Not now!" Izzy hissed. "We're not done with the challenge yet."
"Yes, I agree with Izzy," Dawn said.
Katie huffed. "Fine," she said as Justin bent down slightly, and the shot cut to him scooping up a bicycle horn up off the ground. He then threw it hard as he ran, and the camera followed it though the air until it his Brick in the head.
"Oww!" he exclaimed as the horn honked and bounced off, landing with another honk. He sent a dirty look back as he rubbed where he'd been hit, then stopped in sudden realization and looked forward. The shot cut to Chef turning towards the sound and grinning, then firing off a blast of pasta.
Brick screamed as he was hit off-screen, and the shot quickly cut back to him and his baby plastered to a tree by the spicy spaghetti. He groaned as his baby woke up and laughed in delight, and the camera cut to Pasta Bear catching sniffing the air then excitedly running off to the left.
"Ohhh crap...," Brick said nervously as he looked off to the right. The passing Salmons caught his attention as they passed by, though, and he glared as Justin as he pointed and laughed.
XXX
"Regaining the lead that my team blew," the model told himself in a congratulatory tone. "Way to put yourself higher on the totem pole Justin."
XXX
The music turned slow and tense as the static cut away to show B, Courtney, and Geoff running up to Brick.
"I'll free Brick. Geoff and B, go distract Pasta Bear," Courtney said, pointing first at their trapped teammate and then back over her own shoulder. "And try to slow down those Salmons!" she added as she frantically tore pasta off her crush.
"On it!" Geoff said in a serious tone before he and B ran off, the camera zooming in on Courtney as she scowled in their direction then resumed freeing Brick.
A tense note was struck as the shot cut to Brick raising an eyebrow. "Umm...is something wrong? Uh, I mean, aside from me getting caught?"
"What were you and Geoff talking about this morning?" Courtney said bluntly, the camera jumping back a bit as Brick's eyes widened and he began to blush.
"W-why do you ask?" Brick stammered.
"Because he and I never really got along and I know he wants me gone," the prep explained. "So I just thought..."
"Well... we did discuss something," Brick admitted, "but it wasn't voting you off."
"So what did you two talk about?" Courtney asked hesitantly, pausing as she grabbed the bulk of the pasta. "I'm sorry," she added. "It's not really my place."
"I don't mind!" Brick exclaimed. "I want to tell you... Geoff he, well, he helped me realize that I like you."
Courtney stared at him for a second, then looked down and yanked the last of the pasta off of him with a blush. "I like you too," she admitted as both grabbed their babies. "But I can't," she said while looking at him sadly. "We're in a competition. And after what I did to Britney and Dave..." She hung her head.
Brick sighed. "I understand. I'd like to discuss this further, but after the challenge," he said, and the two ran off.
\
A flash took the scene to B and Geoff, the tense challenge music rising up once again. The shot cut to Pasta Bear running towards them from the opposite direction, then returned to the boys as they skidded to a stop.
"Take the little dude dude," Geoff said, handing B his baby then turning around. "Alright bear, take a whiff of this!" he said, letting loose a massive but almost silent belch just as Pasta Bear came into view. The shot cut in to the bear's close-up as his head rattled around and he passed out.
"Yes!" Geoff cheered, pumping a fist then accepting his baby back from B and exchanging a high-five.
Moments later the music spiked dramatically as B's brow shot up and he pulled Geoff down into a crouch, a blast of pasta sailing right through where Geoff had been standing. "Whoa that was close!" Geoff whispered, lifting his right arm to look back at the spaghetti that had almost hit him. "Thanks for saving me!"
B replied with a thumbs up and a smirk.
\
"I think we're back where we got launched," Dawn whispered as the scene flashed back to the Salmons creeping along together.
"Good, just keep quiet and watch your step and we'll be fine," Katie replied.
Moments later the girls were hit in the head with small globs of pasta flying in from the left, causing them to stumble and crash into each other. "What the heck?" Izzy exclaimed, feeling the saucy pasta on her hair. "How'd Chef find us?"
Justin gasped as he caught sight of something to the right. "I don't know, but he's not done!" he hissed, quickly jumping to the side before a normal-sized pasta blast crashed into the girls from the right.
It was then that Geoff and B ran by, their hands covered in pasta sauce. "Haha, sorry guys!" Geoff laughed.
The shot cut to the girls growling and scowling in annoyance before panning over to Justin, a mild grin on his face. "Hey, not a bad trick," he said, "wish I'd thought of it first."
"Me too," Katie deadpanned, and with a startled look he quickly began working on the pasta that was binding the girls together.
\
Another flash took the scene to the Zone 3 sign, snow falling around it as the music slowed down. "Looks like Team Maskwak is going across the second finish line first," Chris announced over the loudspeaker as the four members of the team ran across the screen, B and Geoff out front with Courtney and a sauce-splattered Brick behind.
"Yes!" Geoff cheered, raising the arm that wasn't holding his baby. "We're in the lead dudes!" He shared a high-five with B, then turned to do the same with Brick only to catch sight of Courtney's glare.
"Sshh," she hissed," do you want us to get buried?"
Geoff just rolled his eyes and put his hand down.
XXX
"I guess Courtney didn't have a thing for Brick after all," Geoff shrugged.
XXX
"Congratulations Team Maskwak," Chris whispered, standing before the four in his white parka. "You're in the lead now, and just one more zone to go. First, I need you to hand in your babies." As he spoke, the long-banged male intern jogged over with a red baby carriage.
"Why?" Brick asked as he handed his baby to the intern.
"Lawyers called Chef and said something about danger, and babies, and lawsuits, blah blah blah bleh bleh," Chris explained in an uninterested tone.
"What a relief," Brick said as the intern pushed the carriage away. "We don't have to worry about the babies anymore." Courtney, B, and Geoff gave him nervous looks, then looked to Chris as the camera panned to the right.
Chris let out an annoyed sigh. "I know, don't remind me. You're lucky I don't have a replacement ready to keep things interesting."
The Bears sighed in relief, then continued onward. "Y'know...," Geoff began slowly and softly, looking around at the mountain they were on, "I don't remember seeing this place before today..."
"Hey, you're right," Courtney added. "Which is strange, cause things like this don't really just...pop into place..."
"Hey, not my fault you guys didn't notice it before," Chris told them. "Cause trust me, it's always been here."
The music picked up as the scene returned to the zone 3 sign, the Salmons breathing heavily as they ran up to it and the intern. Justin, Katie, and Izzy quickly handed off their babies, but Dawn paused after holding hers up. The shot cut to it's eyes wide open, looking at Dawn with a bright smile and burbling.
"Hand over the baby and let's go!" Justin told him.
"If I hand him in now, he'll just begin to cry," Dawn replied in an even tone, the intern growing impatient as the moonchild continued to hold the baby up. The camera moved over her shoulder as she moved to hand the baby to the intern, only for it to tear up and its lip to begin trembling true to her word.
"Just...put it in the carriage, it's not that hard!" Katie told her.
"Whatever," Justin said quickly, putting his hands around Katie and Izzy. "We'll just go ahead and let Dawn figure things out on her own."
"What?" Izzy said in shock as Justin started pushing her and Katie forward.
\
"We need Dawn to cross the finish line with us or we'll lose!" Katie objected as the scene flashed to the three.
"I know," Justin told her. "I just needed to talk to you girls in private for a second."
"About what," Katie asked skeptically.
"Listen," Justin said, the camera cutting in for a close-up, "I know we haven't seen eye to eye lately, but the three of us need to stick together right now." The shot cut to Katie and Izzy sharing a disbelieving and uncertain look, then panned back to Justin as he gulped. "Look. The three of us have been close since we got here. Remember when we voted off Cameron?" he asked, not noticing the scowls on the girls' faces. "Why should we let whatever happened come between us?"
Katie smirked. "Do you really wanna know why we've been distant?" she asked innocently.
"Yes!" Justin grinned. "It's been bothering me for a while. I even tried to talk to Courtney about it, but she just had some crazy ideas."
"We just realized," Katie said before leaning in and whispering in the model's ear, "you're not that hot."
\
A soft, sweet tune played as the scene flashed back to Dawn, rocking her baby in her arms. "There there little one," she said with a warm smile, "time to go to sleep..." The intern rolled his eyes, earning a pout from Dawn.
She handed her baby to the intern and started to meet up with her team...
Only to stop in her tracks when a loud "WHAT?!" rang through the air. A close-up of the snow-covered slope above them showed it trembling, then the music came to a blaring finish as the shot cut backward and the snow fell down onto both teams.
"Whoa!" Chris said in shock as the scene cut to him and Chef standing just beyond the finish line. "Hey, I think we finally lost someone!" he said, an excited grin forming as he looked to his gaping assistant.
"Not yet we didn't!" came the voice of Courtney, Chris looking back to the left in shock before the camera quick-panned over, showing the prep digging herself out of the top of the snow with Brick and Geoff doing the same on either side of her. Courtney hopped onto the snowy ridge and slid along it on her back, while Geoff and Brick hauled B out of the snow before doing the same.
Chris gasped, and triumphant music began to play as Courtney, Brick, Geoff, and B all slid under the finish banner. "Team Maskwak for the win!" he announced through his megaphone, raising his left hand excitedly. "Congrats on not dying," he added, stowing the megaphone as the four Bears walked over to him.
"Way to ditch the losing streak dudes," Geoff said coolly as he and Brick high fived.
"Yeah...," Courtney said in thinly-veiled joy, sparing a longing glance at the cadet.
The camera cut back to the snow as the four Salmons poked their heads up out of it. "What... happened?" Dawn stammered, looking around with wide eyes.
\
The static cut away to the usual shot of the moonlit island, the ceremony theme beginning as the camera zoomed forward slightly.
A deep note was struck as the scene cut to the elimination area, the four Floating Salmons seated in the front row and wrapped in full-body blankets – Dawn on the far left, Justin next to her, then Katie, and Izzy on the far right. All four were sending annoyed looks to the right, and the shot cut to Chris standing solemnly by the fire with a tray of three marshmallows in his hands.
"The following campers are safe," he said, picking up the first marshmallow. "Izzy," the shot cut back to the campers as the wildcard eagerly stuck a hand out of her blanket and caught her prize, "and Dawn." The camera panned to the side to show the moonchild getting hit in the forehead by her marshmallow, startling her out of her thoughtful stupor.
XXX
"I know I should be worried," Justin confessed calmly, "but I'm not. You see, I talked to Dawn and Izzy before the vote and used my ultimate lady-killing move. The Mega Hair Flip." He slowly shook his head from one direction to the other, and his hair moved about even slower before falling back into its normal perfectly well-coiffed position.
"I'm back baby."
XXX
The static cut to a smug Justin watching as Chris announced "...and tonight's human cannonball is..."
The camera cut from Justin, to Katie rolling her eyes, to Chris holding the marshmallow in his hand with a smirk and back to-
"Jus-tin," the host announced.
The model gasped in shock and stood up. "But why me?" he asked. "I'm the most beautiful person on the show! That alone should've gotten me to the merge!"
\
The footage flashed ahead to show Justin loaded into the cannon. "Just so you know," he declared bitterly, "this show just got 75% less handsome!" Without warning the cannon fired him off screaming into the night.
"Actually, no it didn't," Chris grinned as the shot cut back to him and now Chef at the base of the cannon. "Because I'm still here."
Chef rolled his eyes, but the host ignored him. "Tune in next time," he told the camera as the capstone theme played, "for more pain, and less fun, right here on Total! Drama! Paaahkitew Island!"
(Roll the Credits)
Author's Note Post Script: Yeah, this will probably be the least unexpected boot of the season. What can I say? As much as I love Justin's character, this specific group of people just didn't lend itse;f well to him lasting a long time as he is. And now we're at the merge. And if canon placements alone are a reference it is the most out there merge to date. I mean, who pictured Katie lasting to this point of a debut? I'm really excited for what's coming post merge, you won't wanna miss it.
I am pretty proud of how it all went down, by the way - between Justin's poor attempts at scheming, and Courtney's pretty good attempts, it was set. And Katie had a hand in causing his outburst that made the team lose. Justin was just playing checkers when everyone around him was playing chess.
Oh, and while this elimination is more important to the story than Topher's in canon, there's a minor line in there that really sets up the final third of the game. Just sayin'
Anyway, that's it for the pre-merge portion of the game - though the cast doesn't know it yet. I hope you're all looking forward to next week...
And I'm sure I'm forgetting something.
I hope you all enjoyed the episode, or some part of it.
With that I'm signing off
-TotalDramaFan14
RDPI ELIMINATION TABLE:
14th Place: Anne Maria
13th Place: Jaxon
12th Place: Sadie
11th Place: Cameron
10th Place: Dave
9th Place: Britney
8th Place: Justin
