FLASHBACK
This wasn't happening.
Holly brought the the cold hand up to her lips and kissed the palm of the woman she loved so much.
She was sat at the side of Gail's hospital bed waiting for her to wake up from her nap. Holly had tried to be strong for Gail's sake, but her heart felt broken and there was nothing that could fix it.
Holly gave in and let the tears fall from her eyes.
"This isn't fair." She muttered to herself. 15 weeks. 15 weeks of pure happiness, thinking everything was working out and coming together but in the space of a few seconds everything had changed.
"HOLLY! HOLLY!" Gail stood in their bedroom holding her stomach.
Holly ran into the room.
"There's something wrong Hols...OUCH!" Gail sat on the edge of the bed. Holly bent in front of her moving her hands away from her stomach. "It hurts...there's something wrong."
"We need to go to the hospital...NOW!"
Holly helped Gail up from the bed. That's when she saw it. Blood where Gail had been sat.
Gail saw that Holly was looking at something and turned to look at it.
"I've lost him haven't I." Gail started crying, holding her stomach again.
"Come on honey we need to move."
That was how they had ended up at the stroke of midnight sat in a hospital room, Gail exhausted, and Holly not knowing how to fix all of this.
Holly kissed Gail's hand again.
"It's going to be okay, I will find away to sort this out...I will." She stood up and kissed Gail's forehead and Gail's eyes opened slowing, then realising where she was, started to cry.
"It wasn't a nightmare was it, it was really. I lost our little boy." She sobbed.
Holly sat on the edge of the bed placing her hand on Gail's cheek.
"And now I can't have kids...I can't do anything. I've messed this up for both of us. It's all my fault..." She cried.
Holly kissed her chapped lips.
"It's not your fault honey. I'm going to fix this..." She kissed her again.
"How Hols...how?!" Gail snapped. "I fucked everything up, I made it so my own child, our child, didn't want to live within me."
"You didn't do anything wrong, please believe me Gail." Holly stroked her fingers over Gail's cheek.
"I'm sorry...its just...its fucked up and now I can't give you children."
"I love you Gail, that's all I know right now and that is what is going to pull us through this mess. In a few months we will try again and..." She was cut off.
"How Holly?! How! Nothing is going to replace him, and you made it pretty clear you didn't want to give birth." Holly could see the heartbreak in her eyes.
"Nothing is everything going to replace him." She leaned in for a kiss again. "And regarding the giving birth thing...I'd do anything for you."
Gail smiled.
There it is. Holly thought smiling back at her true love.
Gail pulled Holly into a flaming kiss, with all the promises of the future.
"I love you Lunchbox." Gail said but Holly could still see the sadness in her eyes.
This pain will never go away. Holly thought as she moved to hug Gail.
Nathaniel William Peck was buried a week later. Holly and Gail sat through the service holding hands, Holly stroking Gail's hand the whole time. Everyone was there, there families and friends, they had supported them through the past week.
Holly had tried to hold it all together, to be strong, but during the service everything came out. Gail comforted her, pulling her into her side and draping an arm around her shoulder.
"It's okay Lunchbox..." Gail whispered into her Holly hair. "He will always be our little boy."
