I did change one major thing in regards to canon, but I just felt it suited the story better. Only the mage playthrough didn't have you lose anyone, but seeing death from the start is what made those other origins more... Solid, real? Something. So yes, the whole story of what happened in the Tower.

Chapter 8: Old Wounds

Cassandra stared in shock at the figure in front of her, hoping that her eyes were playing tricks on her, or that it was the Fade messing with her mind. It could not be Niall standing there, looking sad and apprehensive. "Brother?" she called out, walking towards him.

"Who… Cassandra? Maker, what are you doing here? Is Richard all right?" He met her halfway, pulling her into a quick embrace.

"He's fine. Wynne and a few of the others got the children out. And to be honest, I'm not sure what I'm doing here. One moment I was in the Tower, the next I was in a dream about Grey Wardens, and now I'm with you."

"Then the Sloth Demon trapped you too." She frowned, trying to remember what had happened before she got to this place.

"Demon? Yes, I remember something standing there, telling me to sleep." Niall turned away, hanging his head. "We are in the Fade then?"

"Yes, unfortunately. I was trying to get to Uldred, when that Demon got to me."

"What happened here, Niall? How did the Circle get overrun by demons and blood mages?" He sighed, running a hand through his hair.

"There was a meeting of all the Enchanters, discussing how we wanted to handle not only the possibility of a Blight, but the usual wanting to free ourselves from the Chantry. You know me, sister: I would prefer to have a little island somewhere and let us live free and alone."

"People need to learn to live with us, not fear us," she argued gently.

"They never will, and you know it. Sure, our parents weren't horrified by our powers, but I know that it still hurt Mother terribly when we were taken away. I'm sure by the time Richard manifested his gift, she just resigned herself to a life without us."

"It's the Chantry's fault. They force us to be segregated, have holy knights watching over us constantly, and any sort of opposition is met with death or Tranquility. It's not right!" Niall smiled sadly, nodding.

"I know, but then again, they are trying to protect the rest of Thedas from people like Uldred. He is mad with power, and I think he even took the First Enchanter captive. I don't know if he intends to make him an abomination, but whatever he's planning, it's not good. I managed to get the Litany of Adralla from Owain, but then my group was attacked. I haven't seen any of them here, so they're either dead, or trapped in places I cannot get to. And I fear the Demon is using my life energy to fuel this realm." Her eyes widened as Cassandra felt her chest tighten. Why hadn't he said anything sooner?

"What? Then we need to get you out of here!"

"Don't you think I've tried? But everywhere I go, something always blocks my path: A giant door, flames, or even holes that I cannot fit through. It's impossible to get out." She shook her head, fists clenching.

"No, I don't believe that. There must be a way to leave. I will find it." Niall smiled, ruffling her hair.

"You always were the resourceful one. I'll just… Wait here in case you need to return. You can get out by touching that pedestal over there." She nodded, heading for the aforementioned object, and casting a quick glance at him.

"I'll free us, brother. I promise."


The Sloth Demon was dead, and Cassandra was once again standing in front of her brother. But he still looked sad, and she couldn't figure out why. "Niall?"

"You've done it, Cassandra. You've defeated the Demon and ended his control over this realm. But now… I'm afraid I have to entrust you to do what I could not."

"What are you talking about? You can leave this realm now too! You can help us fight against the blood mages." He put his hands on her shoulders, shaking his head.

"No, I can't. I've been here too long. What will seem like a nap to you has been an eternity for me. I can feel the connection to my body slipping away."

"No… No you can't-" Tears gathered in her eyes, but he pulled her against him, rubbing her back.

"Hush Cassandra, it's all right. I've accepted my fate. I just wish I could've seen Richard one last time. But you'll say goodbye for me, won't you?"

The two Templars who had been escorting them almost literally threw them into the room, closing the door behind them. Cassandra clung to Niall, staring at the other children, who were looking at them like they were new toys. But one finally came over, extending a hand, and welcoming them to the Circle. Niall introduced them, but she rarely strayed far from her brother's side, all of this too new for her.

"Niall… I'll tell him, don't worry. We always looked up to you, both of us. You were always the strong one, the clever one."

"And you were always more powerful. Even the First Enchanter agreed you would make a fine mage. I think that's why he wanted you to join the Grey Wardens, so that you could prove yourself to the world."

She had begun using elemental spells, and Niall just cautioned her to be careful. After all, Deborah wasn't around every second to make sure she didn't burn, electrocute, or freeze herself. Cassandra just laughed, promising to watch herself, and vowing to be as strong as he was one day.

"I wasn't strong enough to help you."

"Don't worry about me. I'll be with the Maker soon, and I'll always be watching over you two. Make sure to save as many of the others as you can. Prove to the world that mages are good people."

"I will, I promise." He pulled back, smiling a little.

"Do you think… Do you think Mother and Father would be proud of me?" She nodded, her throat feeling tight.

Niall had passed his Harrowing, and was moving out of the apprentice quarters. She was happy for him, but a little scared to be on her own. He just ruffled her hair, telling her that she wasn't truly alone. She would be fine with the friends she had, and would probably make more in no time.

"Of course they would be! I'm proud of you too, for getting as far as you did, and for not giving in to the Demon. I'm going to miss you so much, big brother." She felt a tug on her very essence, and knew she was waking up. But she didn't want to go; didn't want to leave Niall alone in his final moments.

"I'll miss you too, little sister. I am so proud of you." She tried to reach out to him, and their fingers brushed for a just a moment as he smiled. "Goodbye Cassandra."

"Niall!" The Fade swirled around her, and her mind went blank for a moment. The next thing she knew, Alistair was shaking her.

"Hey, are you all right?" he asked. She blinked, and then suddenly was stumbling towards a body on the floor. Dropping to her knees, she let the tears flow for a moment, closing Niall's eyes and smoothing his hair.

"Oh dear," Wynne whispered, coming over. "I'm so sorry, Warden."

"Who was he?" Lelianna asked softly. Cassandra wiped her eyes on her sleeve, searching his pockets and pulling out the scroll. She unfurled it, confirmed its contents, and then stood up. There would be time to properly grieve after Uldred had been dealt with. The bard was in front of her however, sadness in her eyes.

"He was my older brother," she replied. Lelianna's eyes grew wide, and she covered her mouth with her hand, looking at the body.

"I am so, so sorry. Are you… All right?"

"I am for now. Come on, we've got a Circle to save." Alistair came up beside her, concern on his face.

"Cassandra, if you need a moment-"

"We need to stop this madness before Uldred gets to the First Enchanter. Niall said he has him prisoner, and might try to make him an abomination." Wynne gasped.

"If Irving succumbs-"
"We can't let that happen," she interrupted. "I will be upset later. Right now, I need to keep focused on killing that bastard and anyone working with him."

"We're right behind you," Alistair vowed. She nodded, looking down the hallway and praying she didn't find anyone else she cared about already gone.


The Circle was safe, or at least as safe as it could be. Uldred was dead, and Irving was still in his right mind. Knight Commander Greagoir declared that they no longer needed the Rite of Annulment, and allowed Cassandra to enter the Tower again to search for other survivors. She headed straight for the infirmary, which she had not checked on before clearing everything. Alistair kicked the doors open, and they beheld an awful scene: Bodies lay strewn about everywhere, mostly Templars and mages, with a few abominations scattered around. Fear gripped her, and she began moving around the room, hoping beyond hope that either Deborah was not here, or that she was alive but unconscious. "Look for a blonde girl, a little shorter than me, with a healer's robe on," she ordered her friends. They nodded, each taking a section of the room. Cassandra began pulling bodies up to check beneath them, her chest tightening with every face she saw. Some she recognized, but others she did not know: Either too young, or too old. But when she rolled over an abomination, she froze, eyes taking in the scene even as her mind refused to comprehend it.

"Hey, did you-" Alistair began, but then saw the look on her face. There was no color to her, and she was shaking as if freezing. Her eyes were wide, but they weren't really focused on anything in particular. He went to her, his own eyes seeing the body of a young woman lying there, the point of a sword coming out of her chest, and claw marks running down the length of her. Her blonde hair was blood-streaked, but still managed to frame her pale face. With her eyes closed, she might even have been sleeping, if not for the violence done to her body. Beneath her lay a Templar, eyes sightless as he stared at the ceiling. Cassandra went to her knees, no sound coming from her mouth even as her lips were trying to form words. Shakily, she grabbed the girl's hand, tugging on it.

The little blonde was always sitting in the corner, tucked away from everyone else, and Cassandra finally decided to go talk with her. It took some coaxing, but she soon learned her name was Deborah, and she wanted to be a healer. The greatest healer Thedas had ever seen, in fact. Cassandra smiled at the high ambitions of her new friend, vowing to help her achieve her goal.

"Deborah," she whispered. "Come on silly, it's time to get up." There was no response, so she pulled harder. "Please get up. The danger's over. The Circle is safe." Still nothing, and she gently shook her body, even as Alistair felt tears in his eyes as he watched. Lelianna came over, but stopped when she realized what was going on. Her hand flew to her mouth in horror.

"Warden… I don't think she can hear you." Cassandra glared up at them, her whole body still shaking.

"I know that! I'm trying to wake her up. Deborah always was a sound sleeper."

"Sweetie, she's not-"

"Yes she is!"

They had ducked into what seemed like a deserted corner to share a quick kiss. However, that turned into a frantic pull of robes, and the two of them crashed down on top of a very shocked Finn, who had snuck off to read. They giggled as he hastily grabbed his books, every part of him scarlet. When he was gone, they continued where they'd left off, keeping their eyes open for any nosy Templars.

Wynne came over at the commotion, but Alistair turned to her and shook his head. The older mage's breath hitched in her throat as she watched. "Come on Deborah, please wake up," Cassandra continued to beg. Her hand gently caressed the girl's cheek, tears glistening in her eyes. "You have to get up." Finally, Alistair could stand it no longer, and knelt behind her, grabbing his fellow Warden around the waist.

"There's nothing you can do for her, Cassandra. She's gone."

"No! No, she can't be! Let me go, Alistair! She's not dead! She's not gone, she can't be! I promised I'd come back for her! I swore I'd always protect her! I can't lose her too!" But she was lifted away from Deborah, and he set her down near the door, almost dropping her as she struggled to get away. "No, don't take me away! I can't leave her again! She needs me, Alistair!"

"She's with the Maker now, my friend. She feels no pain," Lelianna tried to comfort her, but the mage would have none of it.

"She doesn't belong with the Maker, she belongs with me! She was everything to me! I loved her… She can't be gone!"

She was leaving the Tower to become a Grey Warden. Deborah wasn't happy about it, but she understood. Cassandra promised to visit, and maybe there was need in the Wardens for a healer. She would come back and take Deborah away from all the shackles they had to bear. Maybe in the Wardens, they could find meaning and purpose, where not much existed in the Circle. Deborah promised to wait for that day when they would be together again. So long as her Cassie was with her, she would fear nothing.

Alistair held her tightly as her cries of protest turned into sobs, and then finally, wordless screams of agony. Nothing else mattered to her now that Deborah was gone. Her very reason for living had been snuffed out, so what was the point of fighting this stupid war? Why should she try to save Ferelden, when no one gave a damn about her or any of the other mages in the Circle? What was the reason she needed to risk life and limb to help them, when they would just as soon leave her people to die cold and forgotten in this Maker-forsaken Tower? No hope, no reason, no possible point to going forward existed now. Deborah had a Templar's sword through her. Why? Had he been afraid of her turning into an abomination? Had he tried to use her as a shield and then thought to kill both her and the creature attacking them? It just didn't make sense. Deborah did not know any offensive spells, and putting her in front would only have terrified her more. Vaguely, she felt anger rise in her chest, felt the heat swirl around her as the fire inside her struggled to manifest. But then she realized that someone was holding her. Someone with a very strong grip.

"Draw your last breath, my friends. Cross the Veil and the Fade and all the stars in the sky. Rest at the Maker's right hand, and be Forgiven." That was a part of the Chant of Light. "Here lies the abyss, the well of all souls. From these emerald waters doth life begin anew. Come to me, child, and I shall embrace you. In my arms lies Eternity." Alistair. That was Alistair's voice. He was praying. For Deborah? Cassandra lifted her head, seeing a soft glow around him as he kept his head bowed against her, eyes closed.

"Warden?" Wynne asked softly. She glanced up, eyesight blurry because of the tears. Lelianna and Wynne were kneeling behind Alistair, their hands on her shoulders. And then she felt other hands on her back, and turned a bit. Richard was standing there, looking sad. And beside him were a few of her other friends from the Circle: Petra, Finn, and Neria. All of them were around her, offering what comfort they could. Alistair stopped chanting, and the glow around him faded.

"Hey there," he said softly. "Welcome back." She blinked in confusion, wondering where she had gone.

"You've been quiet for over an hour, sister," Richard told her, hugging her as best he could with Alistair still in the way.

"An hour?" Her throat felt scratchy, and her head ached. She sat back, and her fellow Warden released his grip on her, which allowed Richard to climb into her lap. Holding her little brother close, she rocked herself, humming a soft lullaby. Lelianna seemed to know the tune, and joined in. The assembled group allowed the music to carry them for a while, as the Warden mage held the only connection she still had to the world.


Some time later, the young apprentices were being tucked into bed, and the older survivors were gathering to discuss what would happen now. Wynne had made it clear to Irving that she was going to accompany the Wardens against the Blight, and he had agreed. "There you are," the older woman said, finding Cassandra sitting on her brother's bed, stroking his hair while he slept.

"Did you need me for something?"

"I just wanted to make sure you were all right. You gave all of us quite a scare earlier." Wynne folded her arms over her chest, staring down at her, and Cassandra sighed and shook her head.

"What, I'm not allowed to lose myself? I can't grieve for someone I loved?"

"I didn't say that, my dear. But you are one of the Grey Wardens, and that does carry quite a bit of responsibility." The younger woman's eyes narrowed.

"I know what I have to do, Wynne. Coming here wasn't something I was looking forward to, but neither was I expecting to find my home overrun with Demons."

"None of us expected that."

"Then what exactly is the issue?" Wynne sat down next to her, eyes not leaving her face. Cassandra felt like she was going to get a lecture any moment.

"Why did you allow yourself to fall in love? You know the risks that carried."

"I didn't plan to, but it happened. Trust me, I don't think either of us realized what was happening until it was all said and done." She looked away, hands in her lap, and Wynne put a hand on her shoulder.

"Would you take any of it back?" Cassandra shook her head, still not looking up.

"Never. I wouldn't trade a single moment that we shared. It would just diminish how we felt about each other."

"Then that is her legacy to you. I know she was a wonderful healer; one that would have saved the entirety of Thedas if she was asked. Now you must carry on that duty, and save Ferelden from the Blight. If you do not, the rest of the world will fall."

"I…" Cassandra pursed her lips, still not sure that she would truly be able to do anything against the horde of darkspawn and the archdemon. "I have to try, at least."

"That's all you can do," Wynne said, giving her shoulders a quick squeeze. Someone cleared their throat at the door, and both mages looked up to see Alistair standing there, smiling slighlty. He walked towards them, and Cassandra saw he had something in his hand.

"I um… Found this in the infirmary. Apparently it's a letter for you, Cassandra." Her eyes wide, she snatched the paper from his outstretched fingers, quickly scanning the delicate script on it. Wynne left them, nodding and smiling at the warrior, who blushed.

Cassie-

It's been quite a while since you left for Ostagar, and I was relieved to hear that you survived. I don't believe any of those lies that Teryn Loghain is spreading about your Order, because I know that you would never betray our King. Life has been all right here at the Circle, and I'm starting to make new friends. There's a boy in my Herbalism class who can't seem to keep quiet, but at least he's nice. Petra and I are studying together now, and she says it won't be long before I am called for my Harrowing. Once I am a full mage, maybe I can join you. I know that you said you'd come back for me, but I need to start relying on myself as well. You were my rock for so long, it almost seemed that I would be swept away if you weren't here, but you taught me well. When I see you next, I'll show you how strong I've become, and you won't need to worry about me ever again.

All my love,

Deborah

She clutched the paper to her chest, trying to stifle the sobs that were building up inside her. Alistiar dropped to his knees in front of her, tentatively reaching out to embrace her. She allowed him to pull her off the bed and into his arms, welcoming the stability he offered. Closing her eyes, she cried into his shoulder, thankful that he'd taken off his armor. He kissed the top of her head. "Everything's going to be all right," he assured her.

"Eventually," she agreed. Her arms came around to encircle his back, and she breathed in the scent of sweat, soap, and metal that clung to him. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"For bringing me back. I heard you praying, and it brought me out of my own mind. I don't know what I would have done without you, Alistair." He pulled back and smiled at her, his eyes lighting up as well.

"And I don't know what I'd do if I lost you. I know this is going to be difficult for you for a while, but I want you to know: I'm here, whenever and however you need me." She wiped her tears away with her sleeve, nodding.

"I just might take you up on that offer. For now, just hold me."

"Your wish is my command." They stayed on the floor, holding each other, until Wynne came to get them after the meeting was over, shaking her head at the two Wardens, a smile on her face.


Chapter 8.5

Cassandra continued to hold the man in her arms, quietly listening to his story, even as his voice got more desperate and afraid. Merrill had left soon after Anders had started crying, but now she returned. Looking up, the Hero saw all of the camp at the entrance to the cave, but she said nothing. Alistair moved first, kneeling next to her and placing one hand on her shoulder, and another on her fellow mage's. Isabella and Zevran came up as well, the Elf on Alistair's other side, and the pirate behind Anders. Connor and Richard stood behind her, leaning on their staffs. Merrill circled around and laid her head on Anders' back, murmuring something none of them recognized. Finally, Nathaniel and Oghren stepped forward, and the rogue knelt next to his fellow Warden, placing a hand on his shoulder and giving it a squeeze. The Dwarf stood to the side, seemingly unsure what to do, but finally just put a hand on the healer's head. Even Shale stood there, Dane at her side, silently watching the scene. After a little while, his story full told, Anders shifted, and the group gave him space. "Feel any better?" she asked softly. He looked up at her, and then his eyes traveled over the faces of the others. Everyone was smiling slighty, and Merrill was wiping the tears from her eyes.

"A little," he replied, voice hoarse. He stayed in her arms, too weak to move. One by one, the others left them alone again, even the Dalish girl.

"I'm sorry you had to go through all of that," she said after a minute. He looked up again, eyes red and tears still on his face.

"Comm-" She placed a hand over his mouth, and he stared at her in surprise.

"Anders, what is my name?" He blinked, shaking his head. "You're not allowed to use my title. Only my name. What is it?" She removed her hand, and he sighed, closing his eyes for a moment.

"You don't hate me, Cassie?" The sound of her name out of his mouth sent her heart soaring, and she couldn't help but smile.

"I could never hate you," she told him, kissing his forehead. Anders tried to sit up, and she propped him against the wall again. "I just wish you would have written."

"I was ashamed about what happened with Karl. And then the more I stayed, the more Justice kept insisting that we help what mages we could get out of Kirkwall. And then when we confronted Ser Alrik about making good mages Tranquil, and I lost control…" He took a shuddering breath, and she grabbed his hand, running her other hand down his cheek, drying his tears with her sleeve.

"You're safe now. Whatever happened in that city, it's over." His eyes met hers, and he shook his head.

"It's not over. Hawke will-" Her eyes darkened again.

"Let me worry about my cousin. She and I are going to have words. Mostly about how she just betrayed everything she is to help those who would see us locked away for merely existing." Anders nodded, swallowing nervously.

"I condemned the Circle. I am responsible for their deaths."

"No, Knight Commander Meredith is. She didn't need to invoke the Rite of Annulment, but she did. Hopefully there will be survivors, and we'll take them with us." He nodded, feeling everything he had dealt with over the last decade pressing down on him, and his eyes fluttered closed. "Get some rest."

"Don't leave me," he whispered, fingers tightening around her hand. She smiled, smoothing out his hair as best she could.

"I won't leave you. Not ever again."


Anders awoke some time later, but couldn't see anything. Panic set in almost immediately, and he sat up, feeling something across his waist. Everything about his time in solitary came rushing back, and his breath refused to come. Suddenly, he felt a hand near his face, and a moment later, the blanket that had been covering him was yanked off. Cassandra was sitting there, and even in the dim light he could see the concern on her face. Without another word, she pulled him tight against her, and he clung to her, calming himself. "Some all-powerful mage I am," he said after a few minutes. "Can't even have a blanket on me without panicing."

"You've had a busy day," she reminded him. "Besides, I don't mind being here for you." He pulled back, smiling slightly.

"I missed you so much, Cassie."

"And I you. Now come on, let's get some food in you," she said as she stood. Offering him a hand, she pulled him to his feet, but he had to still lean on her. Between the poison she'd given him earlier, Justice being ripped from him, and not having had a decent meal in a while, he wasn't exactly at his best. The two of them walked out of the cave towards the fire, and Nathaniel and Alistair turned their heads when they heard them. Shale looked back from her position at the head of the camp, but saw that it was nothing worth her time, and went back to watching for movement in the darkness.

"Nice of you to join us, ser mage," Alistair said as Cassandra set him down against one of the logs they'd been using as seats.

"You gave us quite a scare, my friend," Nathaniel added, placing his bow at his side. Anders blushed, looking down at his lap for a moment.

"I'm sorry for all the trouble I caused."

"What, you mean the Chantry exploding? Don't be silly. Cassie was planning on waging a holy war anyway. You just beat her to it," Alistair told him.

"She what?"

"Did you think you were the only mage who is tired of the status quo?" she asked, handing him a bowl of stew. Anders shrugged, wasting no time in digging into the food.

"What do you plan to do now, Commander?"

"Well, I suppose that depends on what happens next. Word is going to spread about this, and I doubt the other Circles will take kindly to the slaying of fellow mages for a crime they didn't commit."

"This is going to be worse than the Blight," Alistair predicted. "It's going to be mages against the Chantry, with all of Thedas caught in the middle."

"I know. We're going to have to be very careful with Orlais. The last thing Ferelden needs is another invasion, Exalted March or not."

"Anora's going to be very unhappy when I tell her about all this." Cassandra stared at him, shaking her head.

"Don't tell her," she advised. "At least, not all the sordid details. It'll be enough for her to know that we expect trouble. As it is, I'll send word to the Tower, telling them they have my full support should anything happen."

"The First Warden isn't going to like this," Nathaniel surmised.

"Then the First Warden can crawl out of his bloody base in the Anderfels and tell me himself!" She stood up, beginning to pace, and all three men watched her. "I am not going to sit idly by while my people finally demand what they deserve. This has nothing to do with politics, and everything to do with just wanting to live."

"It's my fault," Anders finally spoke up. "I should be the one to answer for this."

"You already have," she shot back. "As far as anyone knows, the apostate responsible was killed in Kirkwall. Besides, Justice is still running around in that Maker-forsaken city, and he'll probably bear some of the blame as well." Anders grimaced as she talked about the Spirit, but said nothing.

"That reminds me," Nathaniel said. "What in Andraste's name made you want to be possessed by him, Anders?"

"It wasn't possession," the healer argued. "It was a merge of sorts. I was still the one in control…Sort of. And we both thought we would work together to free the mages. But… My anger at the Templars was worse than I thought. Justice became warped by that, and turned into Vengeance. It was the worst feeling in the world, knowing that I had done that to him."

"You couldn't have known it would be that bad," Alistair said softly.

"That doesn't change what happened. And every time he took over, it was like I was a puppet: Seeing out my eyes, but unable to move my own limbs to stop whatever he was trying to do." He pulled his legs against his chest, wrapping his arms around them. Cassandra moved to go to him, but Alistair got there first. He sat next to Anders, wrapping an arm around his shoulders.

"That nightmare is over, my friend. Cassie and I will make sure you never have to relive anything like it again." Both the men smiled, and Cassandra felt her heart flutter. Alistair understood the situation better than she'd hoped, and he would do everything he could to keep his promise.

"Thank you," Anders said softly. "I don't know what I did to deserve such loyalty." She dropped onto his other side, leaning her head on his arm.

"You're a fellow Warden, a mage, and one of my loves, Anders. The only thing you need to do now is swear to fight with us."

"Unless you've learned to heal that much better, you're going to need me, Cassie. Besides, I can't let you have all the fun when you face down the army of the Divine," he vowed, smiling slightly.

"Glad to have you back again," Nathaniel added, shaking his head and smiling as well. "Life was starting to get predictable."

"And Maker knows we can't have that. I mean, what's life without a crisis or two?" Alistair teased as they all dissolved into laughter.