Disclaimer: If I owned O&A… They'd have had many more seasons… And 7th Heaven would have been canceled instead… Man… F that piece of S show… Grrr…
Author's Note: I finished the whole series of Once and Again, must say that the episode "Losing You" hit me kind of hard. And I am SOOOO upset that Grace and Dimitri had closure but Jessie and Katie didn't… BLAH. I'd have loved to see Jessie pull Katie aside at the wedding away from everyone and say something cheesy or whatever and share a kiss, but nooooo… Anyways, so this chapter won't be good. I'm working THROUGH my writer's block and it is HARD let me tell you. Took me several days to even start this chapter… Ugh… Spoilers for Dracula at the end… Just saying…
Bittersweet Symphony
The alarm clock blared annoyingly in Jessie's ears as she looked up at the ceiling. She had been awake for nearly a half hour, but just didn't feel like getting out of bed just yet. In a swift move, Jessie rolled to her side and pressed the snooze button on her clock before tightening the blankets around her and just laid there. It was now Monday morning and has been three days since the attack, Jessie had only been able to visit Katie once in that time, and Katie had still not woken up from her coma. The reason Jessie had only been able to visit Katie once, which had been Sunday, and that was only because Katie's parents didn't spend the entire day in the hospital like they had on Saturday, and because Kyle had been there to let her in to visit. According to Kyle, on Sunday is when Katie's parents, and her brother Steve, had all met up with lawyers and other detectives. Unfortunately there wasn't much Kyle was allowed to tell Jessie, but she was still grateful for any little information he would give her.
As for Jessie and her parents, Karen hadn't pressured Jessie into speaking or opening up, which Jessie was thankful for. Rick on the other hand had kept calling wanting to speak with Jessie, and it had ended up the same; Jessie breaking down and giving the phone to her mother before running up the stairs into her room. For now, Jessie was staying at her mother's home, desperately not wanting to go to her fathers, not wanting to face him just yet. But it was coming soon that she'd have to, and she knew that. Still, she wanted to hold off on it for as long as she could. After all, she had a lot to deal with, such as school. How would she be able to go through school today? Especially since it was the first day, and knowing the school and the suburban city of Evanston, she was sure word had spread in the short time span of the weekend. It would be the big buzz of school for sure. What happened to Katie Singer? That will be what all the students would be asking, and Jessie could hear it already, and she wasn't looking forward to it.
Pulling out her left arm, Jessie rolled to her right side and began to look at the ring on her finger. While looking at it, she began to really study it and thought about the meaning. Commitment. There was no doubt in Jessie's mind, she loves Katie. The older girl made her feel whole, like there's nothing to be afraid of in the world as long as she was by her side, Jessie realized as she stared at the heart on the ring. And the hands, Katie explained they meant friendship, and that's what they were; they were each other's best friend as well as girlfriends. For as long as Jessie could remember, she couldn't name a single girl, or anyone for that matter, that she shared that closeness she had with Katie, on the friendship level, even before she realized her romantic feelings. Best friends as well as lovers, that thought brought a small smile to Jessie's saddened face. And finally, the crown; loyalty. For some reason, this symbol brought something heavy into Jessie's chest. It was a tiny little heaviness that Jessie could feel as she unconsciously brought her right hand to her chest and clutched at the shirt she wore. She couldn't figure out why the heaviness came or what it meant, all she knew was that there was a horrible decision she needed to make, but right now, she didn't want to think about that.
Then came a knock at the door that brought her out of her thoughts, "Jessie?" her mom called, "You up, sweetie?" she asked as she opened the door.
Without looking, Jessie responded, "Yeah."
"School's in an hour," Karen said,
"Okay." Jessie put her hand down and rose into a sitting position, looking forward.
"Big day. Junior year."
"Yeah, super special," Jessie replied dejectedly. She rose from her bed finally and walked to her closet opening it half heartedly and stood for a moment, just staring at her clothes.
Karen's heart ached, she didn't know what to do or say to make Jessie feel better. She had offered to let Jessie stay home from school, but her daughter decided against the idea because, "What's the point when I can't visit her anyways?" It was true, Karen had to admit. Martha Singer had made it very clear that Jessie or anyone who wasn't family, except for Tad, was not to visit Katie. With a sigh, Karen said, "Let me know when you're ready to go." Then she gently closed the door, allowing her daughter privacy.
As Jessie walked the halls of Upton Sinclair, there were small hushed whispers and glances all toward her. She stopped at her new locker, which was close to her locker from last year, and just kind of stood there with the door opened. Almost robotically, Jessie put her books into the locker, seemingly trying to give them some form of order, but not really trying.
Just then, a tall body approached her, she saw the student coming from the corner of her eye. Ready to tell the person to back off, Jessie turned her head, ready to bite off their head when she saw the saddened eyes of Tad staring back at her. Her mouth opened in surprise before she said softly, "Oh, Tad. Hey."
Tad smiled a small smile as his eyes looked to the floor before bringing them back up and meeting Jessie's, "Hey. How you doing?"
Turning back to her locker, Jessie wasn't quite sure how to answer that question. All weekend her mother had only asked her that once. How was she really? Shaking her head and almost scoffing, without looking at him, Jessie replied, "Peachy."
"Um," Tad began, almost uncomfortably, "Kyle told me what happened. I'm, uh, sorry you had to go through that."
"Have you visited Katie?" Jessie asked. A strange emotion over coming her. She couldn't describe it, but it almost felt like anger or annoyance. 'What's wrong with me?' she asked herself, not knowing what was going on inside.
"Yeah," Tad said very sadly.
"Yeah, well," Jessie began, a strange tone evident in her voice, "Katie's mom won't even let me in to see her. I have to sneak in through Kyle."
"Yeah he told me that. That sucks, I'm sorry."
Jessie's heart began to speed and she began to feel very dizzy, but not as if she was going to be sick, but more like she was about to scream and she didn't know why. "Listen, Tad," she said calmly, "I've got to go." She quickly began grabbing the books she needed.
"Okay. Um, if you need anything, or want to talk, just give me a call. Okay?"
"Yeah," Jessie said before closing her locker and speeding into the girl's bathroom.
There she threw her bag onto the floor and put her hands on the sink and gripped hard. She glanced upwards into the mirror and looked into her own eyes. The longer she stared, the angrier she grew, and the desire to scream and hit something against the wall almost became too intense, until other girls walked into the restroom. Without even acknowledging them, Jessie picked up her bag and began walking out, hearing as the door was closing, "Wasn't that the girlfriend?"
'Great,' she thought to herself. Just then, the bell rang, and Jessie pulled out her schedule to see which would be her first class of the day; US History. After looking at the room number, Jessie put away her class schedule and began to haul herself in the direction of her class.
The entire day was boring and miniscule to say the least. Lunch time, Jessie sat alone in the hall under her locker. Tad had offered to accompany her, but Jessie just shrugged him off claiming she wanted to be alone. The rest of the day was painfully slow and Jessie wanted nothing more than to just get out of school and go home and just sleep. All day there were stares in her direction that she mostly was able to ignore. But a person could only take so much before it got ridiculous. As the last few minutes of her last class passed, Jessie glanced out of the window and noticed her father's car waiting in the loading zone. 'Crap,' she cursed in her head. She was not looking forward to facing her father just yet. Then the bell rang and Jessie looked up at the clock unbelieving.
Putting her things into her bag, she made her way out of class and made one last stop at her locker taking her time, wanting to drag out as long as she could. After all, the conversation she is sure to have is not one she is jumping for joy for. In fact, she almost wanted to sneak out the back way of the school and start in a dead run straight to her mother's house. Or to the hospital. Either way, she knew Rick would find her, where ever she was. 'Stop acting so stupid,' Jessie chastised herself as she shook her head. She was acting silly, and she knew it. It was stupid of her to try and run away from the inevitable, she knew she had to face it, face her father and his barrage of questions.
With a sigh, Jessie grabbed the last book and closed her locker shut, ready to meet her father. As she walked down the hall and stepped out of the building, it didn't take long to find her father, standing outside his car looking in her direction. He brought up an arm waving at her for her to notice him. Without waving back, Jessie made her way toward him, almost feeling like some invisible force was trying to pull her back, but she fought it.
Once she made her way to her father, she looked up at him and gave a small, ghost of a smile. He returned it and motioned with his head for her to get in the car. They both entered the car, almost uncomfortably, and settled in. Rick turned on the ignition and began to pull out and onto the after-school-picking-up traffic. He tapped his fingers a couple times on the stirring wheel before finally turning to Jessie, "So, how was school?" he asked casually.
With a slight nod she replied, "It was okay."
"Just okay?" Rick asked, trying not to seem like he was pushing for more information. He desperately wanted to know if Jessie had heard anything, rumors mainly, about what had happened.
"Yeah," Jessie simply replied.
The drive back to the Manning/Sammler household was long, awkward, and nerve wracking. Jessie shifted several times in her seat, all the while wondering why she couldn't go back to her mother's house. Soon, when they finally arrived, Rick answered her unspoken question, "I told your mother I wanted you to stay with me for the week. She fought me on it, but I think you and I need to do a lot of talking."
Jessie turned her head to look at her father; her face was expressionless as she softly said, "Okay." The strange, anxious feeling sparked in Jessie's chest again as her heart beat began to speed up as both her and Rick exited the car and made their way toward the house. Once inside, Jessie sensed no one was home, making her believe that Lily had gone separately to pick up Grace and Zoe and leave the house to Rick and Jessie. Rick walked into the living room, Jessie following him after putting her bag on the floor next to the stairs, and watched her father sit in one of the chairs. He looked up expectantly toward her. Jessie stood for a moment, arms crossed and feet fidgeting, before finally making her way deeper into the living room and carefully sat in a chair across from her father.
After several quiet and awkward moments, Rick finally spoke, "So, have you, uh, visited Katie?"
"Yeah."
"How is she?"
Jessie shrugged, "Still unconscious."
"Has Kyle said anything?"
"About?"
"About anything? Her condition? The police report?" Jessie shook her head, making Rick sigh. "Listen, Jessie," Rick paused, this was definitely one of the hardest conversations he ever had to have with either of his children, even harder than when he gave Eli sex advice, "I want you to be honest with me, okay? And I'll be honest with you," Jessie nodded and Rick continued, "How long has… This… Your, uh, relationship been going on?"
Swallowing the lump in her throat, Jessie answered, "Almost six months."
For a moment, Rick didn't move. He didn't move, say a word, or even breathe; he was in complete shock at the answer his daughter just gave him. 'Six months? Half a year?' he thought to himself. "You kept this a secret for six months," Rick said as more of a statement than a question. Jessie only nodded at him, which almost sparked anger in him. "How could you keep that a secret for six months?"
"I just," Jessie started, pausing a moment, "I didn't know how to…"
"Jessie," Rick leaned forward, his head lowered and his eyes seemingly piercing, "Are you gay?"
There it was, the million dollar question of the year, and it made Jessie want to throw up. She looked intently at her father, tears already threatening to fall down her face. Clutching her hands into fists, she felt the ring on her finger that she still wore and hadn't removed the entire weekend and looked down at it. Inwardly, she smiled at seeing the ring, with the heart pointing inward toward her, proving her heart belonged to someone.
"Jessie?" Rick asked, interrupting her thoughts.
She looked back up, her eyes glazed over and her mouth hung opened. "Y-yes," she answered, barely above a whisper.
But it was loud enough for Rick to hear as he rose from his seat quickly and ran both hands through his hair. He clenched his jaw tightly and placed his hands on his hips and walked toward the window, looking outside through the see-through curtains. It was the answer he didn't want to hear, the answer that made everything shatter. 'Is it that bad, really?' he thought to himself, not knowing how to answer his own question. But he couldn't help but wonder if Jessie was absolutely sure of herself. Was she a lesbian? And why was it so hard for Rick to deal? He remembered he had told Lily she would need to deal if Grace had turned out to be a lesbian, but now that the tables had turned, Rick was finding he had to eat his own words.
'No,' he resolved in his head, then made it vocal, 'No." He turned and faced a shocked Jessie, "You're only fifteen, you're too young."
"Dad, I'll be sixteen next month."
"Jessie, what happened with Tad?"
"What?" she asked, confused.
"Didn't you date him?"
"No."
"See? You need to get out there and date people. You can't just expect that-"
"Dad!" Jessie shouted as she stood up, "No, it's not about dating other people. It's about knowing what my heart wants!"
"How can you know without experience?"
For a moment, Jessie stood there, silent and unbelieving. She shook her head and looked to the floor, silently crying, her heart silently breaking because of how her father, the most important man in the world to her, was acting.
"Jess," he said as he took one step closer to her, "I know that, this will seem unfair," he paused as Jessie looked up at him, her eyes narrowing, "But I think it's best that you not see Katie anymore. At least, not for a while."
The feeling in Jessie's chest grew, almost to a painful degree, "What?" she whispered.
"It's best. We need to get this whole mess straightened out-"
"Mess? My feelings a mess?"
Rick was beginning to grow impatient, "I'm not saying your feelings are a mess. What I'm trying to say is that this whole situation is a mess." Jessie looked at him, glaring, "Look," he took a few more steps toward Jessie, only for her to back up. In all honesty, that hurt Rick a little, "Jessie, Mrs. Singer doesn't want you or anyone else who's not family to visit Katie anyways, and I know Kyle will let you pass-"
"So you're saying I can't visit her? I can't visit my best friend?"
'Jesus, she's beginning to act like Eli,' Rick thought to himself, suddenly missing the old Jessie who wouldn't bark back during an argument. Breathing in deeply and sighing it out, Rick finally decided to admit it, the real reason, what was truly worrying him, "Jessie I don't want that to be you!" he shouted, a little louder than he intended. When Jessie looked at him with a confused expression, he continued, "I don't want you to be where Katie is. I couldn't handle it if something were to happen to you," he said, sincerity in his voice. He made eye contact with his daughter, "And if you choose this life style, I can't help but worry that you'll end up exactly where she is now."
Jessie's mouth hung slightly opened as she shook her head in confusion, "Can I go to my room now?" she asked, without looking her father in the eyes.
"Sure," he said, almost defeated as he watched Jessie avoid eye contact and walk through the living room, grabbed her bag, and make her way up the stairs. What he had said was true, he was horribly worried that if this was the life Jessie would choose, then the hospital, or worse, would be where she would end up.
When Jessie finally got up to her room in the attic, she shut the door, dropped her bag, and threw herself onto her bed and hugged her pillow, closing her eyes. She couldn't bare the thought that her father might be right. Over the entire weekend, Jessie didn't want to admit it to herself, but that was her fear too. She was afraid to end up where Katie was. Shaking her head, Jessie refused to accept that idea. Yes, she was afraid, but that wasn't her top priority; Katie and her safety was Jessie's priority. She pulled out her hand that held the ring that Katie gave her, looking at it once again. Seeing the hands, that meant friendship, holding the heart in an almost guarding manner, then the crown, symbolizing loyalty. 'Loyalty,' she thought. It was becoming more and more clear to Jessie what she needed to do.
______________________________________________
"JESSIE RUN!" Katie screamed as she struggled to get onto her feet, barely being able to do it, as she stumbled forward and fought to keep her balance. The girl began to run, feeling a new wave of adrenaline flowing through her veins. She felt she would be able to run faster than she ever had in her life, faster than in any of her races; just fly through the air. Then she quickly noticed how fast she was catching up to Jessie. Katie learned that, despite Jessie being an excellent fighter, having a black belt in tae kwon do, she wasn't much of a sprinter. In a split second, Katie made the choice of self sacrifice. She decided to slow down and have Jessie run ahead of her, after all, when running for one's life, it doesn't matter how fast one is, as long as they are faster than someone else. With that resolve, Katie slowed down enough to see Jessie actually running faster before she felt a violent pull at her already rustled hair.
"Oh you little bitch!" one of them men yelled.
Whoever had pulled her hair, pulled hard and threw her to the ground…
Kyle Singer sat at his sister's bed side during his break, just as he had done the day before. Only this time, he noticed her head jerk a bit. He rose from his chair and checked her vital signs. Everything had seemed normal. Other than her coma, Katie's signs had stabilized and showed no reason for alarm. Slightly bewildered, Kyle looked back down at his sister and looked at her swollen brow and saw her eyes moving rapidly behind her eye lids. Then it became clear to him, she was having a dream. 'Or possibly a nightmare,' he thought to himself negatively.
After hitting her head hard against the ground, Katie screamed out in pain and closed her eyes, literally seeing stars. Then she felt rough hands grab her hard by her thin arms and pull her violently up to her feet, making her head swim even faster as a wave of sudden nausea hit her. It was Mustache that grabbed her and was now looking right at her.
"She sure is a pretty young thing," he said with a grin on his face, making the urge to vomit even more so.
"She sure is, Jimmy," Baseball Cap added.
'God, please,' Katie cried in her mind, tears falling down her face.
"Shame, shame she's one of them. Ain't that right, Jay?" Jay, adjusting his baseball cap, just nodded in agreement.
"Bring her here," said Flannel.
Pulling her roughly, Katie's knees gave out from under her, causing her to fall. "Goddammit, dumb bitch!" Jimmy yelled and promptly backhanded Katie, causing her to fall back to the ground. "Come here," he called out to Jay, "Help me move her."
Both men moved on either side of Katie and each grabbed an arm pulling her up. They began to walk toward Flannel, dragging Katie. She was barely able to look up and see that the young man, apparently named Kenny, was still on the floor on his knees with his head down. Once the men got close enough to Flannel, they looked at each other, nodded, and threw Katie forward so that she landed right at Flannel's feet.
Katie didn't have the strength to lift her head, let alone her upper body. She wondered for a moment where her energy from that adrenaline rush had gone. Then she felt the man kneel down and a hand grab her hair from the top of her head, pulling her head upward…
The machine measuring the heart rate began to speed up and Kyle watched helplessly as his sister went through this nightmare in her coma. He knew that it was natural, that being in a coma is almost like being asleep, only extremely difficult to wake someone up, and that the brain needs to be monitored, but it still didn't make him any less worried. He checked her heart rate again, though it was faster than it should be, it wasn't critical. All Kyle could do is just hope that his sister moves passed the nightmare and onto another dream.
Just as Kyle had settled back down in the chair, he heard someone walk in. Turning his head he found Amy walking in. Smiling at her Kyle said, "Hey."
Returning the smile, Amy walked to the foot of the bed and picked up Katie's medical clip board that hung at the railing. "Hey," she replied, "How's your break going?" she asked as she read through the chart on the clip board and walked to the machines.
Looking at his sister, Kyle observed she had calmed down, meaning Katie's dream had ended. It pleased him seeing that she was no longer going through some sort of negative ordeal in her mind. Kyle looked up at Amy and said, "She was having a nightmare a few minutes before you walked in."
"Oh?" Amy asked as she marked down Katie's heart rate onto the chart and began to get ready to check her blood pressure.
"Yeah," Kyle said, settling back into the chair, "Seemed like it was kind of bad too. She actually jerked her head."
At that statement, Amy looked up at Kyle with a smile, "That's good. If that kind of reaction keeps up, she should be coming out of her coma pretty soon."
"I know," Kyle replied with a smile.
"Any word on a civil case happening?"
Kyle shifted in his seat, "Well, all Steve said I could say is that they've questioned the kid they arrested. Turns out the kid's uncle was the ring leader."
All Amy did was shake her head in disappoint as she finished checking off everything on Katie's chart and she placed it back on the railing and walked over to Kyle. She stopped and stood next to him and place her hand on his shoulder. About a half second later, Kyle took his hand and crossed it over his body and placed his on top of hers. Amy smiled when she felt him give her hand a gentle squeeze. "Doctor Scandale will be in soon to check on her also."
"Okay."
With one last squeeze they gave each other, Amy dropped her hand and walked out of the room, leaving Kyle alone, biting his thumb nail, a habit he was always teased about by Katie. Kyle turned his head slightly hoping to catch a last glance of Amy, but the nurse had already left and Kyle sighed.
It was strange for Kyle at this moment, strange for him because of Amy. They had dated while in nursing school, and it had gotten pretty serious. Serious enough he was considering asking her to marry him. But then, something had happened and things got messed up. They were forced to work together again, however, because of Doctor Stephanie Scandale wanting them two on her team, which Kyle was at first resentful, but now grateful for because it meant they would get to become friends again, and they did. In fact, she became his best friend and closest confidant, allowing him to tell her nearly everything, including things about Katie and her own life. Now, things were beginning to confuse him. He was so sure he was over his romantic feelings for her, but now, seeing how much she's been supporting him through this situation, despite the time duration being so short, he was unsure. But he definitely knew right now was not the time to be thinking about a possible reignited relationship with his current best friend. No, it was not the right time. He had more important things to think about, such as the impeding trial that was looking more and more likely according to Steve, and keeping an eye on Katie and keeping Jessie up to date on her situation.
Sighing, Kyle looked at his watch and found he had two more minutes left on his break. He dropped his arm and leaned his head back for a second and stared up at the ceiling, smiling as he remembered when Katie had visited him in the hospital after breaking his hip, telling him that if he ever got bored, to just look up and count the holes. When Katie had broken her knee cap and she was in the hospital, Kyle had told her the same thing and both laughed. That was one reason they both connected so well, they both had shared a life altering injury.
Kyle smiled one last time and rose from his chair and stretched out his legs. 'Time to get back to work,' he thought to himself. Just as he turned he came face to face with a boy his height, but much darker hair, "Oh, hey Tad," he greeted.
"Hey, Kyle," Tad returned and the boys shook hands. "How she doing?" Tad asked while glancing at Katie.
"Well," Kyle started, "Her vital signs are good, meaning she's stabilized. We really just need to wait for her to wake up," he stared at his sister as he spoke, "Oh!" he exclaimed and turned to look at Tad, "She was dreaming earlier. It seemed kind of intense. It's good because it means her brain waves are normal."
"Good," Tad said with a smile. "I heard if you talk to someone in a coma, they can hear you. That true?"
"Supposedly," Kyle said with a shrug, "It's like a woman who's pregnant. The unborn baby can supposedly hear things and learn to comprehend while in the womb."
"I see," Tad nodded and held up a book, "I figured I read to her. I know she was reading Dracula so I thought I'd just read it to her."
Kyle smiled, "That's cool." Then Kyle looked back at his watch, he was three minutes late," Well, best get back to work. Stay as long as you want."
"Thanks," Tad said with a smile as Kyle exited.
Tad walked to the chair next to Katie's bed and sat. "Hey, Katie," he said, "I brought your Dracula. Your mom gave it to me when I brought up the idea to read to you." He paused at looked at her, his heart breaking as he studied her bruised and swollen face. "You were pretty far into the book, huh?" he asked as he opened the book to where her book mark was, "I'd say, maybe a third of the way. You got passed Lucy's death already." Tad stopped and leaned forward, "You know, I read this book before, and I never got exactly how Dracula was able to bite Lucy so many times. I mean, you told me vampires have to be invited to get into a house, right? According to this," he held up the book, "Lucy never really spoke to him. She was just, like, hypnotized or something. Unless she didn't write it in her diary," he sat back in his chair, "Ah, it's stupid. There are so many versions of vampires, I don't get how you keep up with them," he said and shook his head. Then he opened up the book again, "Well, guess I should read to you now, huh?" He leaned forward placing his elbows on his knee, looked up and smiled one last time at his best friend before looking back down at the book and began to read out loud.
TBC…
Author's Note: I HATE the first half of this chapter. I feel like I just wrote anything to just be done with it. But I sort of feel I did something good for the second half. Especially with Tad. I must admit, I LOVE how I ended it with him talking to her like that. I don't know why, but it sort of makes my heart cry a little. Anyways… Feedback??????
