I know this chapter is so incredibly late! My final's are here, and I've been so busy with work, and my USB was lost, and I thought I'd lost the whole story altogether... You get the picture.

I hope this chapter is worth the wait! I have a week off now so Chapter 9 is not too far away, I promise!

Please enjoy and review!

CHAPTER EIGHT

The beeping was really getting on my nerves. It wasn't meant to be like this was it? From all the books I've read and the movies I'd seen, it was meant to be peaceful, relaxing; quiet. I'd never read anything about this racket. It was bright too. I mean, I know that there was going to be a bright light that I had to walk into, but this seemed so... artificial. All that, and; I swear these voices aren't angels. This is one crappy heaven.

I tried to open my eyes to at least see wherever the hell this was, but the light was too bright and I just clamped them shut again. I suddenly felt something tying me down. This was infuriating; wasn't I meant to be weight less? My stomach felt as light as a feather but I couldn't lift my arms and my legs felt really numb.

A door opened and I heard hushed whispers. I didn't open my eyes; the light was too bright still. I strained to hear what as being said.

"Vitals are looking okay... Her blood pressure is still low, so keep an eye on that..."

I groaned internally, I guess this wasn't heaven then. I tried to think back at what could have gone wrong. Although now I think about it, I should have guessed this was a hospital from the smell.

The door opened again and I couldn't have missed that voice anywhere.

"Is it okay to visit?"

This could not get any worse. My breathing became shallower and I immediately heard the stupid machine beep faster.

"Looks like she's awake. Don't let anyone see you though, visiting hours technically don't start until 6," the first voice said, I assumed it was the doctor.

I heard someone shuffle out and the door gently closed.

I could smell his cologne before he even stepped closer. I waited until I heard him sit on the chair next to my bed gently before I slowly opened my eyes. I really took my time letting my eyes adjust to the light as I stared at the ceiling. I couldn't stand the silence anymore and I could feel his eyes boring into me; I turned to face him.

Annoyingly, he was just as gorgeous and handsome as he was before; before anything had happened. Even though his bronze hair was even messier than before; looking even better and his eyes had dark shadows under them, his whole face looked sallower, but he was just as devastatingly beautiful as I remembered. His brow was slightly furrowed as he stared back at me; it was as if he was trying to figure something out.

And then it suddenly hit me. What was he even doing here anyway? How did he know I was here? How did anyone know I was here? What the hell went wrong? I was alone on the beach and no one knew I had gone there.

The machine started beeping erratically again as I panicked. Edward's eyes widened and he looked over to the machine before looking back at me again. "Hey - hey it's okay - calm down, Bella. You're safe, it's fine," he put his hand on my shoulder.

"I know I'm safe, I'm in a freaking hospital," I mumbled.

He paused and chuckled at my accent as he took his hand back, "At least you're coherent."

He paused for a second as the air started to grow awkward.

"What are you doing here?" I blurted out.

Edward didn't look back me; he kept his eyes trained on his shoes as he sighed. It took him a minute to answer, but I waited patiently.

"I know," he finally whispered.

Even though I knew as much (why else would he be here?), I still froze. This was my worst nightmare come true.

"Shit," I mumbled, looking away from him.

It grew silent again, neither of us knowing what to say. I was doing so well, I'd hidden this for so long from everybody I knew, everyone closest to me, and this guy had to come around and screw it all up. What was so special about him? What power did he have to break everything down?

"Bella, look at me," his voice was so soft and gentle, I almost didn't hear him. I looked back and his face was just inches from mine. He leaned on the side of my bed, "Why didn't you tell me?"

Have you ever had one of those moments when all coherent thoughts leave your mind? You can't think of anything; it's just blank. Whatever plan you had before, whatever you thought was going to happen or was going to say becomes meaningless and then, worst case scenario, you blurt out the truth – which is normally what you didn't want to say. Of course, it always ends up being the worst case scenario for me; and his eyes were making my insides feel mushy.

"Because you were getting too close," I sighed.

His brows knit together in confusion, "Too close? What do you mean?"

"I would have been trapping you in if I fell in love with you," I breathed, and then stopped.

Oh, well done Bella. Fan-fucking-tastic, you've really done it this time.

He lifted his head a little, "You're in love with me?"

"No," I didn't miss a beat.

"No?"

"No."

I tried to look everywhere but at him, but I failed. He didn't look like he believed me, and pulled back further, leaving his arms folded next to my pillow.

He sighed heavily and the air shifted a little, "That's too bad."

"What?' It was my turn to look at him confused.

He turned to look at me again, but didn't say anything.

"How do you know?" I asked him when I knew he wasn't going to elaborate.

"You told me."

"What?!" Now he had my attention.

He tried to hide his smirk, "I found you on the beach. You were out of it, lying next to your empty pill bottles." Did he just snarl? "I tried to get you to tell me why you did it, and you finally told me. You finally told me your secret," he couldn't hide his smile now.

"This isn't a joke to me," I said angrily.

That wiped the grin from his face and he looked hurt, "Of course it isn't. This is anything but a joke, Bella. Jesus -" he looked away, and he seemed angry now; very angry. Why the hell was he angry? He sighed before he looked back to me; "You know what I thought when I saw you on the beach?" He carried on speaking slowly when I didn't respond, "I thought I was going to find you dead. For the second time in my life, I thought you were dead. I saw myself carrying you to my car, then the hospital, and then I'd wait, in the waiting room, while your family were called, and were told the news. I would have waited until they arrived, and then I'd tell them that I was the one who found you. I'd have to watch while they realised that they'd never speak to you again; never see you blush; never hug their daughter; or see her grow up."

I was mesmerised; I'd never heard Edward speak this way or for so long. I was lost in his eyes.

"And then I realised that I would never see you again," he looked down and started playing with the thread on my pillow. He'd leaned forward again and I could smell him. I studied his face as he continued quietly, "I would never see you blush either; I would never get to see you... or hug you..." he sighed, "It was scary. I didn't want to yell at you, but I didn't know what else to do, you were so out of it. I wanted to shake you awake, but I didn't know if you were injured or not. And then finally, you told me what was wrong, and everything made sense. Well, not everything, but it was clearer. I'd finally found out your secret," he stopped and looked at me again, "I always thought that when I knew it, I'd know how to fix it. You always became so sad whenever we talked about it; I wanted to make it right, but you would never tell me what it was. And then you finally let me in - but now I still don't know how to fix it –"

"You can't," I whispered.

"But that doesn't mean I won't still try, Bella," he sat up straighter, his eyes level with mine, "I'm not going anywhere," his eyes flickered down to my lips and back up, "Because even if you don't... I do."

He let that hang there for a while, his gaze never leaving mine.

"You... what?" He didn't answer me, just continued to stare.

I had never even let myself think about the l-word; but I was being really stupid if I thought I didn't feel it. I knew exactly why I couldn't just stop thinking about him - why I couldn't control my breathing or my ability to be normal when he was around. Even though I had questioned it before, I knew exactly the reason why he'd been the one to ruin my charade and find out.

It was so damn obvious.

And now he was saying he wasn't going anywhere? Did he realise what he was saying?

"You know if you stay, you're only going to watch me die?" he winced at my words and opened his mouth to say something, but I stopped him, "You say you're not going anywhere but neither am I. This is it for me. This is what I'm dealing with until it finally ends - until I finally lose and it wins. It's going to take my life." I enunciated the last sentence.

He looked like he grew angrier as I was speaking, "Then I'll deal with it too. I'm not going to leave you alone with this, not now."

I felt my confidence grow, and for the first time I felt as though I had a little bit of power.

"Why? Why do you want to do that, Edward?" I narrowed my eyes, daring him to tell me.

He did the same, "You really want me to say it first?"

"Say what first? I don't know what you're talking about," I knew exactly what he was talking about. Our faces were mere inches apart and the atmosphere had grown really tense.

He smiled, "Sure... Okay." He sat up even straighter and his left arm reached out as he tucked a piece of my hair behind ear. Left his hand there as he brought his face closer.

"I'm not going anywhere, Bella. I'm going to stay with you through the hospital appointments, the treatments – because you will have them – and anything else it is you're going to have. I'm going to be sat right here and get you what you want, take you where you need; bring you your homework. I'm not going to get tired of it, and I'm not going to give up because..." he sighed, "Because I love you."

I was frozen. I knew it was what we were talking about, but I didn't think he'd actually say it. I couldn't breathe.

"Breathe Bella."

I let out a long sigh and closed my eyes, trying to think clearly. I think it was about 4 minutes that went by and neither of us said anything. He knew I was trying to think, and he let me. When I opened my eyes, he was still staring at me, but he was just waiting patiently.

I looked down at my hands as I talked quietly, "This was why I didn't tell you. Why I didn't tell anyone. I went to my appointments alone. I hid all the letters from my parents. They thought I was going off the rails and I let them. I let them send me here because I thought it'd be easier to hide it; if I wasn't around them. I didn't want them to suffer along with me. If I have limited time left I didn't want it to be spent with the people I love in pain. I wanted to them happy, without the worry. I figured I'd rather them think I was a normal bratty teenager than a dying one.

I never had any boyfriends because I thought if I fell in love then I'd be doing the exact same thing to them too. I was happy when I moved here, because I thought I'd have no ties to anyone and I wouldn't fall in love; it wouldn't be hard to keep to myself. I didn't think I'd be so wrong.

It's so selfish of me to pull everyone else into this, when I can handle it fine on my own; there's just no need to let everyone else suffer with –"

"You just said it."

I whipped my head back to look at him; he was smirking, "Said what?"

"You said you didn't, before; but you do. Just admit it."

"Admit what? I didn't say anything," Shit, I'd just admitted it to him.

"You just said you didn't think you'd fall in love, but that you were wrong," he smiled wider, "I knew it."

I frowned, "It doesn't change anything."

He barked out a laugh, "Of course it does! You think I'm going to leave you alone now? I wasn't going to anyway, but definitely not now," he couldn't stop smiling.

"Why are you smiling? You're setting yourself up for a long time of stress and worry and pain and –"

"I'm smiling because the girl I love just told me she loves me back," he whispered.

My breath caught in my throat and his gaze trapped me again, "I didn't say that."

"Then say it."

"I can't."

"Why not? We both know it; stop denying yourself. Just say it."

I didn't say anything.

"Bella, please; just say –"

"I love you."

You know what to do ;)