"But what if she did get pregnant?" Slick said suddenly.
Droog and Boxcars facepalmed. "Slick. Stop. Just stop," Droog said.
"But - " Slick shuddered. "Can you imagine a smaller version of her?"
"Slick, we went to school with a smaller version of her," Boxcars said.
"But more than one of her!"
"You mean like Qing?" Deuce asked.
"No, of her." He shuddered again.
"Yes, Slick. You've explained your thoughts on the matter," Droog said. "Can we get back to practice?"
"Huh? Yeah." Slick looked back to the piano keys.
"Good."
"But what if she did?"
8
Die wasn't happy. This was nothing new, Die was rarely satisfied with the way the world was, but he was more upset than usual.
"What. Did. You. Do. With. My. Hat?" he shrieked, shaking Itchy back and forth.
"Wasn'tmewasn'tmewasn'tmewasn'tmewasn'tmewasn'tmewasn'tmewasn'tmewasn'tmewasn'tme!" Itchy wailed, eyes rolling around in his head from the shaking. It was hard for Die to keep a grip as Itchy almost vibrated in an attempt to escape.
"Yes it was you it's always you always!" Die yelled back.
"Wasn'tmewasn'tmewasn'tmeIwasframedIswearIwas!" Itchy shrieked.
"Yeah, it wasn't him," Trace said.
"Huh?" Die's grip slackened and Itchy made another desperate attempt at freedom. Die tripped him.
"Someone else walked off with all of them. I know what Itchy's handiwork looks like and this isn't it."
"Well why didn't you say anything earlier?" Die said.
"Yes!Yeswhynotearlier!"
Trace shrugged. "Because he was the one who messed with them all the other times."
Die nodded. That was reasonable. "So who then?"
"Who else would mess with us?" Trace said.
"I'llgofindCans," Itchy volunteered, shooting off.
"Deuce and Droog are around but Boxcars is gone and I haven't seen Slick, he's probably taken off," Die said. "Who was the one?"
"Fuck if I care," Trace said.
"Yeah, good point."
8
"So most the team is injured, I hear," Snowman said, hopping up to sit on the bed. The nurse had made himself scarce.
Slick gritted his teeth, trying not to yelp as her weight pressed down on his cracked leg. "Fuckers started it," he managed, voice tight.
"And now most of the team is injured," she repeated patiently.
"Bastard's still fine," he muttered.
That got a blank look. "Of course Kaiser's fine."
"So what do you care then?"
"The rest of the team, Slick. Remember teams? Games requiring with more than one person have them."
"You mean like that fucking game you've dragged the whole school into?" Slick said. She bounced once on the bed. "Fuck!"
"Like the fucking game scheduled for next week," Snowman said levelly. "When's your band playing?"
Slick jerked his hands as far away from her as he could and glared at her. "Are you just here to gloat? Or what, do you think it'll reflect badly on your supreme majesty when the team loses? It's not my fault you're lazy! Should be fucking thanking me, now they've got an excuse. Fuck do you care?"
"It reflects badly on the school." She was talking to him in a kindergarten teacher voice now. "The administration - "
"Fuck them too!"
She put one hand on his knee and shifted her weight so she was propped on her palm. Slick ground his teeth together. "Slick. I do not want the team in the hospital. When they are in the hospital they stop doing the thing they are supposed to do, which is winning games. This means - " She shifted her weight further. There was an unpleasant creak as his weakened carapace threatened to give way. " - I do not want you trying to break their knees."
"Didn't break anyone's fucking knee. Yet."
"And no one's broken yours. Yet."
He glared at her silently. After a minute, she smiled like a particularly smug cat. "I'm glad we had this talk." She bounced off the bed, Slick choking back a curse, and sauntered out of the room.
Splitting this up a bit differently than the archiveofourown version. Also, any suggestions for what you want to see at the dance?
