Today is Halloween and I'm doing the nightmare of Animal Farm: Mr. Jones! I promise you guys that he looks like Frankenstein's monster! Just take a good look at him!

Disclaimer: Squealer would be sent to China if I owned Animal Farm, but I don't own it. You guys should know that!

Mr. Jones

1. Make him and Frankenstein's monster marry each other.

2. Force him to look for a job. When he doesn't drag him out of his house and take him to another farm. It worked when SpongeBob dragged Squidward out of his house with him in the bed and it'll work on Mr. Jones.

3. Put him on a very strict "No Beer Or Alcohol" diet and give him water to drink. That's good on a very hot day. It makes me drool...

4. Bend his gun in half, shoot in the air, and toss it aside. Hagrid did the same thing to Uncle Vernon's gun.

5. Train Moses to not come near Jones when Jessie attacks him. Then, walk over to Mr. Jones and kick him in the head, saying "NyaNya!"

6. When he comes into the room, hold your nose and tell everyone, "Eww, what's that smell? Oh wait, it's from the big sweaty smelly guy!" Then point at Mr. Jones and laugh at him. Make sure the others do too.

7. Keep telling him about the part when the animals from "his" farm drove him out and how he got his butt whopped in the Battle of the Cowshed. Watch his reaction and put a paper sack over his head.

8. Throw away all of his beer.

9. Pull out a picture of a pig from one of the Scary Stories books with the pig in there and tell him that he married a pig.

10. Sing this to him:

Mr. Jones, you're ugly, but what can we do?

Everyone says you belong in a zoo.

If you look in a mirror, it'll surely crack.

The best thing to wear is a big paper sack!

Then run away like the Peeves you really want to be!

...

I'm glad that Mr. Jones is far far away from Animal Farm as much as possible, although it depends on whether you're reading the book or watcing the 1954 cartoon movie or the 1999 Hallmark movie. And the next person or animal that I'll try is maybe Old Major.

If anyone gives a review since I haven't got one in a while, you'll recieve all the candy from Harry Potter as much as you like with a side order of pumpkin juice or a soft drink!

See ya next time! And Happy Halloween, everybody!