I looked down at Hokuto through my dyed black locks of hair, as he hopped on to the couch and curled up. It wasn't like Hokuto to let me get away with anything , good or bad, without an explanation why. I sat down at the end of the couch, as to alert Hokuto and get him to speak his mind.

"So? Is that all you have to say?" I said curtly, hitting the power button on the remote.

"Yeah. like you said, I'm not your dad" Hokuto said, curling tighter.

Looking at Hokuto, It was obvious to tell how upset he was; The worst part was that It was my fault. I had no idea what I could say, so I didn't say anything. I left Hokuto on the couch and went into our shared room. I'm awful, I hurt everyone, I'm not needed. I thought to myself as I sprawled out over the bed spread.

"How could I say that to him?" I cried to myself.

I couldn't take take it, I needed a way to apologise for everything. Not just to Hokuto, but everyone who had ever been forced by coincidence to come in contact with me. I reached under my bed and pulled out my bey maintenance kit. It took a few minutes to open the solid steal box while my face was flat on a pillow, but I managed to get it open. I took out the performance tip sharpener, which was a curved metal cutting sharp knife. I took a minute to blow off the blade before resting it on my arm. I took a deep breath as the blade cut through my pale skin, drawing a small stream of blood. I didn't know If I was supposed to feel good or not from seeing my own blood fall, but I knew that the pain was just what I deserved and it made me happy to get just what I deserved. After a few more smaller cuts, I got out of bed and decided to try and see if I could help Hokuto.

"Hokuto, can we talk?" I asked, in a quite voice as I sat down next to him.

"Are you sure you want to talk me, you told me to stop caring a-"

"I didn't mean it like that" I said, cutting Hokuto off. "I just needed some space is all, I could never ask you to do something like stop caring and looking after me."

Hokuto looked up at me in an at ease face and I happily looked back. I scooped Hokuto up set him on my lap and began to pat him and he licked my cuts in an attempt make them heal faster. We stayed like this for a few hours until the clock hit eight. I could tell Hokuto was tired so I took him to his bed.

"I'm going out for a while!" I yelled before I left the apartment, but I herd words of approval in a tired voice.

I felt bad, Hokuto had no idea he was really letting me out to get drunk. Maybe I'm turning into one of those emo kids, I thought to myself as I walked into the Bar Paige worked at.