Chapter 8

Chapter 8

3 days passed, and there was no sign of change in Shadow, nor any suggestion that we neared the edge of the forest. Each day that passed I grew more nervous, convinced that this day would be my last within its shady halls and glades, my last night where I could sleep in a Willows arms, and that soon Jack would turn to me and wish me fare well, for he could go no further, and the mortal world waited just beyond that line of trees.

But that day would not yet come for many days, and I forced myself eventually to enjoy what moments I had left, than waste them worrying that every one might be my last.

I looked around me then with clear eyes, and observed every detail that allowed me sight. The way the sunlight played across the dark leaves, or the distant sound of tumbling water, the lazy call of a bird that pierced the quiet. To this day I can recall every colour and sound that graced my eyes and ears in that strange passing of days, every shade of follower or vine, every nuance of the birds calling, every Fey story that Jack told me to fill our time.

Everything, I remember with the clarity of one clutching at the last breaths of life, and it was all blanketed by the heavy silence of my own mind, and that of Shadows. Even Jacks laughing good humour, his flashing smile, could not fill the deep loneliness in my body. And the ache only seemed to spread. It was cruel; I thought then, that I would lose both Fallthorn and Shadow together. Could the Fates leave me nothing?

I should have known then, as I do know now, that Shadow would never leave me, so long as I wished him to stay.

On the 4rth day, Jack halted suddenly in his path, and held up his hand for silence. Both Shadow and I halted behind him, and watched him warily. I noted instantly the strange stiffness in his spine, so used to his impermanent gracefulness had I grown.

I wanted to ask him 'what is it?', but I did not. I took note of the hand, and waited penitently for him to divulge the cause of his sudden unrest. When I dropped my hand to Shadows back, unthinkingly, I pulled it back in surprise. I looked down at my wolf companion, and found him shrinking back with something like fear wild in his eyes. His whole body quivered with it, and when Jack suddenly left us, fading into the gloom that pressed all about us, Shadow pressed himself against my leg, and shuddered.

"What is it?" I whispered to him, forgetting for a moment that he had not spoken for days, and was unlikely to speak now, when he was frightened.

He didn't answer, though for a moment I had expected him to.

And when he made no reply, I forced myself to calm, and silenced my own frightened mind, and sent it out into the forest.

Had Jack left us already?

No, surely he could not have.

I drew the forest into me, unwitting, and searched for him in the gloom with my mortal eyes. Something was calling to me, I knew, pressing me forwards, forwards, like a heavy wait against my back, my chest, my legs. I felt something akin to falling, the whooshing of sound against me ears, my eyes, for a moment, the world blurred.

Come come come come come…

And when i came to, I was among the trees, fallen far from the path, and alone.

Fear fled me in an instant, replaced by a strange helpless calm. Something had drawn me here, but why?

I searched all around me with my eyes, but I could see naught but the strange gloom, a sign of pervading darkness. Had the day passed so soon? It could not have. And this darkness…it was unlike any I had experienced before, and seemed to fill my mind, until I could see nothing but shadows, spreading like cobwebs across my vision, my thoughts, locking me in place. And in those shadows…

I gasped.

Even from this distance I could see him. Jack stood in profile, facing a taller figure, shadowy, a heavy midnight cloak obscuring all but his silhouette. This figure did not have the strange leanness of Jack, nor had he the same press of power about him. I knew in an instant this was no sprite. Even from this distance, when I could not even make out fully their features, I felt the others presence. It was the shadows themselves that beat against my mind and had drawn me from the path. He was the strange gloom that had crept all about us on the path, that even Jack had not noticed until that moment when he had halted, and then leapt away, dissolving into the darkness. I thought of the strange summons, come come come come. There had been something achingly beautiful about that hissing voice, something that whispered in my mind even as it whispered in my ear.

They stood close, within reaching distance, but there was no intimacy in their stance. Jack looked shrunken, fearful. The figure in the midnight cloak was straight-backed, tall. All about him the cloak fell in folds, like rivers of the night-sky, and shifted and changed as the colour of the deepest ocean will. It melted into the ground at his feet, but it seemed as if it were not ground that he stood on, but a lake of dark shadow. And all about him, moonlight fell, though i knew it must not be past midday. Yet the silver light was all about him, as if drawn to him, encasing him in a misty embrace.

Before him, Jack stood in gloom, and upon a bed of dried leaves.

I remembered Jacks words then, breaking through the cob-webbing of the shadows in my mind. You will know them then, they are creatures of Shadow and Light, and walk about this forest in cloaks of midnight blue. They are Fey like us, Masters, and yet apart.

He had spoken of his Masters then, when he had spoken of the Phaerie. And this being who met with Jack, this being of shadows and gloom and the bright moonlight that cut the forest canopy, this was his Master.

And as I realised this, the shadows began to leave my mind, my body, and recede back into the trees that towered above me. It was as if the realisation broke their power over me, and I felt my mind clear. Yet even as the shadows receded, I still saw clearly the two figures standing before me, a little way off, solid now, no longer shadow-spawn images of my mind.

The being cloaked in midnight blue, as if alerted by my recognition, turned his head in that moment, and looked at me.

To this very day, I cannot describe what i felt in that moment. For all fey are magnificent, but none so much as the Phaerie, the greatest of this realm. And i had been in his power for those few moments, and now, when he turned his head towards me, he thrust all that power at my mind, as if in challenge, defiance.

I felt the breath leave my body in an icy expulsion, and yet the warmth of my blood became searing. I felt my skin goose-bump, but not in cold, but in heat. My head whirled and yet was achingly clear, my world tilted and yet I still stood still, just as I had been before, on two feet in the shadowy forest. And all around me, his presence whirled, and I was both frightened and fearless, and among that a kind of bone-deep recognition, though it was a truth my entire being would deny.

And yet despite this whirlpool of feelings, of changeling emotions, I could see little of him, save that he was male, and human-like in appearance, despite his aura of shadows, his strange minions of darkness. But I could not make out his features; they were but a hazy swirl, concealed by his heavy cowl. His eyes alone I saw, the brightest gold I had seen, brighter even than Shadows, that seemed to pierce me mercilessly, and sear towards my very soul. And his hair also, framing his face in colourless brilliance, that seemed to shine with a strange glow, as the moon does, and as the silver light that fell about him did, and yet his hair hair had its own light, as if it were the moon itself.

And even as I met his eyes unflinchingly, for still I felt that strange helplessness in my limbs, but the explosion of courage in my body, he turned and glided away, and was lost, dissolved into the trees like the shadows that had crept upon my mind. Jack stood alone now, and was watching me also, still shrunken, still lost.

He made no move to come to me.

And then, as if from a great distance, I heard a faint call.

Ria Ria, where have you gone?

It was filled with great pain, and terror, and I answered it almost unthinkingly, while feeling a strange sense of familiarity I had not felt for a time. I am here. I gave no directions. I knew he would find me.

And then he was there, his coat gleaming moonlight, the darkness underneath the night sky, his gold eyes blazing with fear. But not fear for himself, that had trapped him on the path just moments ago, but fear for me, and for losing me, and I saw Alexander in his eyes then, and the aching call of his body.

He fell towards me, and fell upon me, and his coat was warm and comforting under my hands, and I almost laughed with the sheer delight of it all, to have him back, and have his mind against mine once more. But I could not laugh, for his voice still quivered in my thoughts, velvety and warm and safe.

Ria Ria I thought I had lost you. Why would you stray from the path?

I pulled back and stared into his eyes, and I saw the ghost of the Phaerie in them, that stranger cloaked in midnight sky, in the deepest stretches of the ocean. I ran my hands through his moonlit coat, more hair than fur, and thought of the strangers own colourless mane. Were there different kinds of Phaerie? I wondered. Was he, in truth, a Phaerie Wolf? Or just a toy of theirs, spent to long in their company that he had begun to resemble them? For I had no doubt that he had had another life before he came to me. I had seen it that first time, when he had quivered among the shelter of branches and vines, and looked into the baby blue eyes of a wolf cub, and seen the deep intelligence of a fey creature.

He stiffened in my arms as I thought all this, and I felt him draw back a little, and was hurt. Why would he not share his heritage with me? He knew all of my secrets, could I not know but one of his?

I stared into his golden eyes, and caught the fear that still lingered there. It was a wild fear, the fear that children have of the darkness beneath their bed, or the fear of swelling, powerful water. It was unexplainable, but true none-the-less, and it followed us through our darkest moments. These fears must be overcome, I knew, or they could conquer us.

You fear them, I said to him, it was less a question than a statement of truth.

His eyes filled with a strange pain, and then lowered from mine. We all fear them, Ria, he told me quietly. I felt the ache in his voice. Pain and fear, I thought. Had he loved them? Had he loved them as I had loved Michael, though I had parted from him eventually?

But could I press him further? No. truly I could not. Perhaps if I had I would have found the truth then and there, but I could not press him so hard, when he was so vulnerable, and had just newly come back to my arms.

"I am glad you came back," I whispered to him, and drew him closer again. I felt his heavy weight against me as he finally gave up, and pressed against me, shaking. His whole body shook, and I petted him gently from neck to tail, murmuring to him.

His answer came finally, even though I had not asked for it.

I would never leave you. Never again.

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