Time stood still. He couldn't breathe, speak, hear or see for the longest of moments. Then the world was back, in glorious Technicolor... all too bright. Alex was sobbing and he didn't know how to comfort her. She looked devastated and he wasn't entirely sure why. Was the thought of having a baby with him really so abhorrent to her?
"H... how?" Was all Gene could eventually manage to stammer.
Her head snapped up and she looked furious. Like a wild animal. "What, you want me to draw you a diagram?"
He probably deserved that. Fighting to keep calm, he pointed out, "But we were careful."
"Not always, Gene. There's a difference between mostly and always."
Shit. This was his fault. He went to light up a cigarette but his hands were shaking too much. In anger, he threw the lighter across the room, making her jump. "I'm sorry." He moved towards her slowly, afraid of frightening her more. "I'm so sorry, Alex."
"Please don't touch me."
That broke his heart. "Bolly... I know this is a shock..."
"This isn't a discussion." She took a deep, shaky breath. "I won't know for a few days, I can't test until I'm a week late."
"Okay." If he could break this down in his head into rational, logical steps he could get them through this. Just like solving a case, nothing different. "You know... maybe you're not."
The look she gave him nearly cut him to shreds. "I'm never late."
Of course she wasn't. That was so typical of her, everything had to be perfect.
"Well do you want me to marry you?" His heart fluttered in the hope she'd say yes. No problem. Then they could do this properly. It might not be ideal, but they loved each other and he was determined to make this work. They could get married and move into a little house together and everything would be fine. Okay, maybe he was a little apprehensive at the thought of being a dad but with Alex by his side he felt invincible. He always had since she'd waltzed into his life.
But it wasn't fine. In fact, it just seemed to make her cry harder. "This isn't the fifties, Gene." She paused, and then said sadly, "We're not ready for this. *I'm* not ready for this. I should be focussing on getting home to Molly, not having an affair with you."
Her words slashed through him like a knife. Was that all he was to her? Just a fling to pass the time? Didn't she mean it when she'd told him she loved him? Didn't they stand in this room barely a month ago and hold each other, promising to never leave one another?
He didn't know what to say so he told her the truth. "I love you, Bolly. With all my heart. Nothing will change that."
Equally, she didn't know how to react. Abandoning her glass, words stuck in her throat. She wanted nothing more than to go to him and have him take her in his arms and make everything okay.
"I'm going to bed. I'm tired."
She didn't specifically tell him not to follow, so he did. She was already in bed when he slipped under the covers next to her. He needed things to be alright, he couldn't live without her. Tenderly, he reached out to touch her back, but she tensed at his touch and moved away. She had never flinched at his contact before...
888888
The next morning when he awoke after a restless night, she wasn't there. It was only six and she was already gone. He searched the flat for her and when she wasn't close by it frightened him. She always left him a note if she was going out and she always signed it, 'I love you. – A – x.'
He found her at the station, lost in thought and stirring an extremely stewed cup of tea. It was early so they didn't have to worry about being disturbed. They had to talk this out and now.
"How are you, love?" he asked by way of greeting.
"Still no decorators," she snapped angrily, throwing the teabag into the bin.
"I..."
"That's what you meant, wasn't it?"
"No it wasn't." Again, he was battling to keep his cool, his temper growing more and more frayed by the second. He didn't know how much more of this he could take.
"Don't worry, your little team will never know." Her knuckles were deathly white; she was gripping the kitchen counter so hard in anger. How could she have been so stupid?
"That's not what I care about." His voice sounded low and dangerous now. He was rapidly nearing the end of his tether.
"Well don't worry, there is no baby."
"But you said..."
"Or there won't be."
"What?"
"I'm not keeping it. I can't keep it; I need to get home to Molly..."
Before she knew what was happening he'd grabbed her and pinned her against the fridge.
"What did you say?" White hot anger burned in his veins. There was no way he was going to let her do this.
"You heard."
"No." He tightened his grip on her. "You're not going anywhere."
"Get off me." She shoved him hard as Ray, Chris and Shaz entered CID, shocked at the fury blazing in both their senior officer's eyes.
"Drake." His voice was a deep growl. "Don't you dare walk away from me. I swear to God I will kill you if you do this."
She left anyway, the rest of the team's eyes following her, speechless and stunned. None of them had ever seen their DCI so enraged... until now.
888888
He was like a man possessed, consumed. He'd screwed everything up. He'd failed to keep her safe and now he'd probably lost her forever. All he wanted was her, he didn't care anymore, whatever she wanted was fine by him, he'd stand by her and he'd support her, every step of the way.
As the day wore on and she didn't come back he'd grown more and more frantic. He'd been angry before at her, but he wasn't anymore, he was just mad at himself for not handling the whole situation better. Always charging in 'Like a Bull in a China Shop,' that's what Alex was forever telling him. Alex. He must have phoned her 15 times but she hadn't answered. Scary images flashed through his head: what if she was lying hurt in a ditch somewhere?
Eventually he'd sent Jeanette away, sickened with himself. He needed to make this right with Alex, no matter what. He had a plan and he needed to put it into action. Tonight.
She hadn't changed the locks so that was a good start. He was quiet because she was sleeping. That would help her; she needed her rest, after all. He kissed her softly on the lips, being careful not to wake her and leaving the note he'd written her in an envelope on the bedside table. Finally, he placed the gift he'd bought her with great care on the kitchen worktop and let himself out. He had to stop Operation Rose and then they'd talk...
Alex awoke with a start the next morning, her hand flying to her lips. She'd dreamed Gene was here. She felt awful; she knew she had no reason to be scared or to be treating Gene this badly. After all, she loved him and although this had been a shock she thought she could get used to the idea of having a baby with him, maybe of building a future here. Molly felt further and further away every day, after all, she could barely see her face anymore. Being away from her daughter would always break her heart but maybe she didn't have a choice anymore, perhaps the choice was already made for her. Maybe she was already dead in 2008.
Her eye was suddenly drawn to the letter on her bedside table and her heart jumped with hope. She recognised the handwriting instantly. So he *had* been here, it wasn't a dream.
She ripped open the note excitedly and read:
'Alex,
I love you and I only want to make you happy no matter what. Wear what's inside this envelope for me. I'll see you later, after, stay away from Operation Rose; I want you to be safe.
Gene.
P.S. There's someone in the kitchen who wants to meet you.'
The ring had fallen out of the envelope onto the duvet. Smiling for the first time in days, she held the silver circle in her palm and made her way through to the kitchen, curious.
Gene had carefully placed a little goldfish bowl in there and he'd obviously taken a great deal of care to set everything up. The tiny fish was hidden underneath a ceramic bridge in the water. Gene had sprinkled gravel over the base of the bowl, placed a small pot of fish food by the side and even wedged a miniature plastic plant within the stones. Another note was tucked under the aquarium.
'I'm calling him Bubbles. Marry me.'
Alex could have cried with joy.
"Of course I will," she whispered out loud to no-one, happy tears in her eyes as she slid the engagement ring onto her finger. It took all of her resolve not to phone him right at that second, but she knew he was snowed under with the gold bullion case and it wasn't fair to distract him. Besides, she wanted to see his face when she told him yes. They were going to be so happy together.
Lovingly laying her hand across her stomach, for the first time she truly hoped she was pregnant, that she was having Gene Hunt's baby...
888888
He never missed. He'd been the best target shooter at Hendon, 1964 and even had a trophy somewhere to prove so. In fact, his training officer had said Gene Hunt was the best and most accurate he'd ever seen on the shooting range...
But he'd missed this time. The target had never moved before though. Until now. Until it was his Bolly, bleeding her guts out all over the pavement.
"No," was all he could choke out. He knew he'd lost everything in one instant, in one split second: there was no way the super would let him continue as DCI- Alex... maybe worse.
He was by her side in a second. It was starting to rain. His hands were on her stomach, pressing down hard, desperately trying to stem the flow of blood. There was too much blood; his Bolly could die here, bleeding into the pathway. He was vaguely aware of a lot of screaming and yelling. Ray, Chris and Shaz, he wasn't sure. All he could focus on was Alex, pale as a china doll.
Her eyes opened. God, her eyes, he'd hoped their baby might inherit them.
"Gene..." Her voice sounded so tiny and far away.
"Sshhh... sshhh... don't try to talk, Alex." He pressed a finger to her lips.
She was crying now. "I l-"
"Sshhh..." he instructed again. She never did listen to him. "Don't tell me, tell me later." He linked his hand with hers. "You're wearing the ring. Does this mean..?"
"It does." She was fading. He was losing her. "And we're having a baby."
"We are?" Despite the grave situation, knowing she'd changed her mind made him deliriously happy. If she survived, if the baby survived, they were keeping it. They were going to be a family. "How about 'Dylan?' If it's a boy."
"It's nice."
Then she slipped into blessed unconsciousness. The rain continued to fall. Gene clung to her hand and kissed the engagement ring there. So she *had* said yes. That was something. That and the fact she was still breathing, her heart was still beating, loud and strong.
They still had a shot...
