Typical Disclaimers Apply

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"So, Mr. Black," Esme giggled flirtatiously, holding Sirius' hand as they walked out of her room on early morning Boxing Day, "where on earth did you get all those tattoos?"

"Hmm, I could ask you the same thing, couldn't I?" He arched an eyebrow playfully, and she gently shoved him away.

"I suppose you could, but since Nymphadora Tonks did all mine, I doubt out answers would be the same."

"Perhaps that's a good thing; I think a father giving his little girl tattoos isn't the best idea."

"Ew," she made a disturbed face, "you let James touch you with needles?"

"Perhaps it was not my brightest moment." As the couple was giggling and flirting outside the dungeons, a very angry Snape stepped out. His teeth were clenched so tight one might think they'd crack, and purple shadows were forming under his deep, black eyes.

"I can hear through those walls," he hissed through his grit teeth. "I can hear everything through those walls." His fists were clenched nearly as rigidly as his teeth.

"Unfortunately, Mad-Eye and I live under the same situation, and he can see through walls. This was quite honestly the better choice," Sirius quipped without skipping a beat, while Esme blushed scarlet.

"Be that as it may—" Esme cut him off, her blue eyes wide and innocent.

"Severus, I never promised that living with me would be easy."

"I didn't think living with you would involve…" he trailed off, a faint blush tingeing his pallid cheeks.

"You should never start a sentence with 'I didn't think'," Esme said coolly. Snape sighed, obviously beaten.

"Whatever." His glare curled into a poisonous smirk, "Was it—?"

"Finish that sentence, Sevvie," growled Esme, "and I will make sure you appear drunk in front of every student, every teacher, and every guest in this entire school, within the week's time."

"Ah, aren't friends great?" He muttered, looking towards Sirius, but speaking more to himself.

"We're friends?" Esme, jubilant for some reason, gleefully leapt onto Snape's back, "Wheee! Look Sirius; Sevvie's my friend!"

"How do I get her off me?"

"Quite frankly, Snivellus, when she does that to me I just stop trying."

"All my years of forced kindness and warmth have finally paid off!" she giggled.

"How is randomly insulting me, being bratty in my class, and basically treating me like I should be your subordinate 'friendly'?"

"It's wasn't all bad! I mean, I was good in dueling, wasn't I? Speaking of, we should start another dueling club. Why'd we stop?" She inquired cheerfully, strengthening her vice-like grip. Now Sirius' jaw went as tight as Snape's had been.

"You lit someone on fire!"

"I did not light 'someone' on fire. I lit Lockhart on fire," she corrected.

"Oh, I knew there was a reason I liked you. Now get off me and get on Black. He looks like he's about to kill me with some fishing twine."

--

"So, Hagrid's a half-Giant?" Snape asked silkily, smoothing out his copy of the Daily Prophet.

"Yeah, I'm not surprised, just sort of upset that he didn't tell me," Esme said, shrugging. She, Snape, and Sirius had taken to getting together between classes. Sirius was actually trying to be civil around Snape; he was still working up the courage to propose to Esme, and murdering her new "friend" could work against him. Snape really had no reason to be nice to Sirius, so she'd sworn to herself that she'd solve the mystery behind his kindness.

"He didn't tell anyone, love," Sirius said, placing his hand over hers. "It wasn't anything personal."

"I know, but he was my first friend," she smiled. "That is, until I met Tonks and we started steeling food and breaking into restricted areas."

"How were you not caught?" Sirius cried. In his first year, he and James had done all they could to get into the kitchens, and every time there was some teacher staring down his or her nose at them.

"Yes, Slain, do tell how you and your friends managed to obliterate the rules with no harm done to yourselves."

"Oh, you know, we were clever children, unlike some." The warning sound, telling both students and teachers that it was nearly time for classes to start, rang out, overbearing Snape's "witty" retort.

"Well, I have to go torment a group of fourth years," Esme smiled her homicidal smile, the one that had caught Sirius' eye in the first place, and tented her fingers.

"And I have to go tell some seventh year Ravenclaws that when they grow up, they could end up like me," Sirius grinned, "Last week one of the boys started sobbing."

"I have to go drink," Snape muttered, skulking off. And alas, the trio of darkness separated to go do their various…things. Esme, of course, went to the dungeons.

"Hello, children!" She sang, greeting her bleak-eyed class. "Today we will be brewing the Elixir of Life. Can anyone tell me what that does?" She pointed at Hermione's hand, the first to hit the air.

"It's a healing potion that can bring a person suffering from a fatal illness back to full health."

"Fabulous! Five billion points to Gryffindor!" As she turned to write the ingredients on the board, Harry, Ron, and Hermione turned to whisper.

"She's a bit liberal about awarding points, isn't she?" Hermione was concerned that if her House won this year, Harry may become so full of himself that his head would explode.

"Well, yes, but our House Points have never been higher!" Ron, on the other hand, was extremely selfish and did not want to share the school's allotment of happiness with the other children.

"Not true," Harry, the wisest yet most angstful of the three, shook his head, "last week she caught me in the halls five minutes before class started and took six zillion points from Gryffindor. Then she made me wash the walls. They weren't even dirty!" Esme turned back to face the class, raising an eyebrow in the trio's direction.

"Now, I shall choose a student to infect with the late stages of Dragonpox."

"Dragonpox isn't fatal!" Draco Malfoy exclaimed, hoping that he too could earn a ridiculous amount of points.

"We have a volunteer!" Esme cried, clapping her hands. "How lovely. Now, the student with the best concoction will be given ten gazillion house points and will feed their potion to Draco. If it doesn't work, I hope Professor Snape is still sober enough to brew the elixir, because I have no idea how to do it myself." At that, Snape raised his flask to the class and took a swig.

Draco looked like he was about to cry.

--

"So, why are we going out for lunch, again?" Esme asked for the third time. Sirius, charming as he was, had practically kidnapped her and taken her to Hogsmeade.

"What, a man can't treat his girlfriend to a celebratory meal after she nearly murders one of her students?"

"Oh, that was almost a month ago," she said humbly.

"Well yes...But hey! It's Valentine's Day and we're actually lucky enough to have it fall on a Hogsmeade weekend!"

"Good enough. I've never even heard of this restaurant, though."

"The Chateau du Wizard? Typically it's out of a student's price range. But among the 'adults' like you and me, it's quite famous." They entered into an elegant little restaurant; it was well lit, warm, and full of smiling couples. McGonagall and Dumbledore shared a table in the middle of everything, waving at and stopping ex-students to talk.

"It's lovely, Sirius, but really, what's the occasion?"

"It's our first Valentine's Day together as a couple and we almost never go out on dates."

"Mmhmm, I'm sure." She cocked an eyebrow curiously. They were seated and were soon eating delicious French food a chatting lightly, until Sirius leaned in, his eyes suddenly serious.

"Esme, do you believe in love at first sight?" He asked softly, taking her hands.

"Well, I'd say yes, except the first time we met I nearly broke your nose and your ribcage!"

"Ah yes, and I still have the bruises to remember it."

"I know," she said flirtatiously.

"Well, aside from that, I really do love you. A lot. The love I feel for you is a hundred times stronger than any emotion that I've ever felt for anyone else."

"Oh, Sirius…" she blushed.

"Esme, I want to spend the rest of my life with you." The air left Esme's lungs in a tiny gasp as Sirius knelt down on one knee. The entire restaurant was silent as he spoke to her, "Esmeralda Genevieve Slain, will you marry me?" The silence hung in the air for only a few seconds, though to Sirius it felt like a thousand lifetimes. Then the entire bistro burst into applause as Esme leapt into his arms and cried out:

"Yes! Yes Sirius Orion Black, I will marry you!" Tears of joy came to both the eyes of them both as he whirled her around.

"Oh Esme you've made me the happiest man in the world!" He set her down well everyone else was still applauding, and gently placed the delicate diamond ring on her finger.

"Oh Sirius, it's beautiful." Barely a few minutes later, a waitress came over, smiling at them like everyone else.

"Headmaster Dumbledore would like to cover your meal, and he would also like to speak with you." Nervously, Sirius and Esme got up and walked over to the table in the middle of the room.

"You wanted to speak with us sir?" Esme asked, still staring at the ring decorating her left hand.

"Yes. Esmeralda, I feel that it would be proper if you and Sirius went down to visit Arthur and Molly to tell them the good news, rather than sending an owl. It's much more personal. And congratulations, of course."

"Thank you sir," Esme smiled, but it faded quickly. "But who will teach my class while we're gone?"

--

"Hello children. I am Snape, the real Potions professor."

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A/N: Good? Bad? Please tell me!