The pond was quite now; the water still and peace like. And for a moment, you could believe all was right with the world.

But the truth was far from it. Nothing was right any more. Perhaps it never was. How long can you live hiding away from people you love? How long can you pretend to be someone you're not? How can you live as a distant lonely shadow in a world where you don't think you belong.

Noah kicked a rock and watched it fly into the water, breaking the stillness and spreading out endless ripples. Things weren't supposed to be like this. Nothing like this should ever have happened. In one moment, his own world had changed into something he had no idea how to handle.

I wish I had never been born this different. I wish I had stood up to my father instead of running away as far as I possibly could and leaving my mom alone and defenseless against that bastard.

I wish I had never meet Lucinda Walsh and agreed to take this case. I wish for so many things to somehow turn back the clock and let me start all over again.

But most of all, I wish I had never meet Luke Snyder. . .the boy with the golden eyes. If I had never met him, I wouldn't feel like this. I wouldn't be in love with a person I know I can never be with.

"But we can't change who we are because it is who we were born to be," Noah mumbled with a sigh. That was something his mom would say. She would tell him stand up and look around to see what he could change and try to become the person he wanted to be. And if he looked closer, he'd see he was still perfect in her eyes. He was still her Noah.

But his mom wasn't here. He hadn't laid eyes on her in such a long time.

There had been a few phone calls here and there. But the last time they saw each other was that day, five years ago, in their kitchen when she sacrificed her own freedom for his.

He picked up the cell phone Lucinda had given him and flipped it around in his hand all the while starring at it. It would be so easy to call home. To hear her voice again; and to get rid of this feeling of being so alone in all of this.

She was a victim as much as he. The only difference was she was there trapped with his father and he was here. . .running. There was no freedom in that. None whatsoever. He hadn't known freedom in a long time. But this wasn't about that or maybe it was on some level. He was scared of what the changes would bring, if he allowed his mind to actually confess to his heart that he was in love with Luke. This whole thing could either end up with him having a normal life or breaking another guy's heart.

He didn't want to hurt Luke. Anyone but him…another young man who had been nothing but kind with him since the minute he got to the farm.

His fingers seemingly acting on their own quickly pressed the number. Before Noah knew it, he heard his mom on the other end.

"Noah, is everything OK?" He could hear the fear in her voice. She was constantly wondering about how he was doing and praying for him.

Noah silently nodded. He wasn't sure if his voice would hold if he tried to speak.

"Yeah" he managed.

"Honey, what's wrong?"

"Nothing," he whispered. His hand moving to scratch his head, hoping she'd believe him. "Nothing at all. I just wanted to hear your voice." His voice cracked slightly as he felt the tears trying to break free. "I miss you Mom. I miss seeing your face, and I miss those hugs you'd give me when I was a little boy. I just miss you."

"I miss you too, Noah. More than anything I wish I could see your handsome face right now. My grown up boy." Her voice was weak. But her words acted as a wrench clamping down around Noah's already aching heart.

"Are you safe?"

"No, not yet. But they're working on it which means you took that job despite what I told you." She wasn't judging him. But he could still hear her disapproval of the choices he made.

"Yes." There was no point in lying to her. She somehow always knew what his heart wasn't telling her.

"Noah!" she protested loudly. "One way or another you're going to get hurt. This job is going to end up killing you."

"It already has," he confessed. "I fell in love with him. I didn't mean to. I hardly know the guy and I want to… I need to get rid of these fucking feelings for him. They are getting in the way."

He felt the hair stand up on the back of his neck. "I'd give anything to stop feeling like my heart is going jump out of my chest every time I see him walk by. I know what this is leading, I don't want to hurt him. Not him. I wasn't supposed to like him let alone fall in love with him."

"Oh honey," she sighed. "We can't control who we fall in love with. It's those feelings that separate us from the others."

"But Mom. . .what can I offer Luke. . .only despair and misery?"

"Oh my beautiful, handsome son. Don't let your father continue to control your life. Stop running. True love comes but once in a person's life. Treasure this moment and don't ever let it go. He'll never understand this Noah, and that's what makes you different from him. It's one of the many ways you are not your father.

"Take this chance and let your heart fall in love." She let out a nervous laugh. "It's not like you can stop it anyway. This is one of those things that the human race can't control."

Noah could hear his father's voice in the background. "I'm sorry but I have to go. He's calling me," she whispered and hung up.

With a sigh, Noah shut his phone and looked out over the pond. It was such a beautiful and peaceful place. It gave him the chance to believe in the things he usually dismissed.

Perhaps it wasn't impossible for someone to fall in love or take a chance. Maybe just maybe some things could turn out all right in the end. Maybe the life someone's living wasn't a complete waste of breath after all.

With hands in her pockets, Maddie opened the creaky barn door and slowly walked in. She knew he would be in here hidden away from the world for the moment. Her footsteps echoed as she walked through the stable looking for him.

Her posture relaxed as she saw him, standing outside Snow White's stall, his chin resting against her white head, with his eyes closed. He looks so sad, she thought as she drew closer.

"Hey!"

Luke's eyes snapped open. His gaze quickly soften as he looked in her direction.

"Hey," he mumbled back.

"You OK?" she asked taking a step closer and gently patting Snow White. "I saw you and Noah at the pond earlier. You looked upset when you walked away."

"It's nothing," he shrugged and turned his back to brush the horse with a steady and fast hand.

"Luke!" Maddie glared at him.

"OK, maybe it was something," he sounded defeated starring down at the barn floor, "not like it matters now anyway. What Noah and I had is gone… if there ever was something there to begin with."

"It still there Luke. I saw it with my own eyes."

Her now confused, scared friend looked up. "Why are you here Maddie? Is it about Reg again?"

"You're damn right it's about Reg! I can't believe you're still with that jerk let alone planning on marrying him. What happened Luke? I thought you were smarter than that."

"I love him," said Luke sounding like he was trying to convince himself as well as Maddie

"Oh yeah?" She stepped closer and crossed her arms. "How about looking at me when you say that."

"I do," he weakly protested.

"No. You don't! Remember Kevin? What you had with him was love. What you have with Reg…," she shook her head. "I don't know what to call it. But it's definitely not love. Why you've stayed with him all these years after what he did to Kevin and to me is beyond me."

"That's my business," Luke muttered angry.

"Love isn't supposed to be a chore, Luke"

"Why do you even care Maddie?" He tilted his head. "You left years ago for college. What gives you the right to come back after all these years and tell me what I feel and don't feel?"

"Because you're making a mistake Luke, a big one and you've got to realize it before it's too late." Shaking her head, Maddie reached up to gently rub Snow White. "What about Noah. Are you seriously telling me you don't feel anything when you're with him?"

"I. . . I don't know what I feel when I'm around Noah," he shook his head. "It's complicated. I admit I feel different when I'm with him."

"And?" she pushed.

"And nothing," he shrugged turning his attention back to Snow White. "Who is Noah to you anyway? I saw the look on your face when you saw him for the first time in years. It was like you couldn't believe your eyes."

"It's complicated," Maddie now felt pressured. "Let's just say this was the last place I thought I'd find Noah working as a handy man of all things. He was so talented, and if he had been given the chance, Noah would have become a great director."

"Well… What happened?"

"His dad. That's what happened. They never really got along, and when Noah came out to him, everything changed. His father kicked him out. . .disowned him," she explained. "Noah couldn't afford the tuition for school on his own. So he had to drop out."

Maddie bit her bottom lip on that last part. It was a lie. She wanted to tell Luke about that night when they found Simon murdered. It was then that Noah decided to face his dad.

"Poor Noah. What happened after that?"

"I didn't hear a word from him until now" Maddie said sadly as she patted the gentle horse. Resting her head head against Maddie, Snow seemed to sense the young girl's conflicted feelings.

"That would explain a lot" Luke said more to himself than to Maddie.

"Please don't tell him I told you any of this. It's his story to tell, not mine."

Luke shook his head. " I won't say a word." A part of him felt better and understood Noah's reaction at the pond. But he still felt hurt.

"I think you're making a mistake, marrying Reg. But it's your life so I shouldn't tell you what to do. Just be absolutely sure, Luke that Reg is really the one for you." Maddie gave Snow white a last pat before leaving the stable with Luke watching her all the way to the door.

She wasn't surprised when she found Noah sitting in the same spot by the pond where she had left him hours earlier. He was having one hell of a rough day. Yet despite the tension between them, she wasn't about to leave her best friend's side.

There would never be enough time to replace the hours she had waited for him, prayed for him. Yet here he was now, sitting on the grass deep in his own thoughts.

That was all that mattered for now. She vowed to do everything she could to help heal his damaged heart.

"Hey," Maddie softly said as she sat down next to him and gazed out over the pond. This was the reunion they should have had, just to sit next to each other and just be. But that was impossible now.

"I thought you left," Noah starring straight ahead.

"I came back."

"Obviously but why?" He folded his hands in his lap while his eyes remained fixed on the pond.

"Because…" she glanced at him initially frightened thinking he was angry. "I'm not about to leave my best friend like this."

"Like what?"

"Lost."

"I've been lost for as long as I can remember," Noah sighed hopelessly, "So I don't think you can help me there. But I appreciate the offer though." He glanced at her for a second before turning away.

"OK. How about the broken heart then? How about that despite all this crap you've been through, you feel something for Luke," she argued pushing down his slightly raised hand. "Don't you dare try to deny it Noah! I saw you together. I saw the look on your face when he walked away, like he was walking away with your heart"

"It's not that simple Maddie" This time, he actually locked eyes with her as he spoke.

"Is anything ever simple when it comes to love?"

"I guess not," he admitted.

"Then let me help you Noah," Maddie pleaded, grabbing his hand. "Let me help you get your happy ending. You deserve to be happy, after everything your father put you through."

"I left her with him," he said through clenched teeth. Noah struggled to keep his own anger and shame in check. "How do I deserve anything after that? I abandoned my own mother."

Maddie shook her head. "It wasn't your fault, Noah. None of it."

"Yes it is!"

"So that's what keeping you from Luke?" She tilted her head. "Your past?"

"It's complicated."

"Tell me something I don't know."

"You don't understand Maddie. I can't. Believe me I want to. But I just can't"

"Why not, and don't tell me again," she curled her index fingers, "it's complicated."

"What if…" Noah hesitated as he pulled at the grass around him. "What if I told you that this whole thing, working on this farm was a way for me to get something I really wanted? What if being with Luke meant that I was doing something I shouldn't? What if I told you that I was doing something bad, in order to protect someone. That all of this, even my feelings for Luke, was all a lie? Then what?"

"Well," she began. "I wouldn't believe it for a second because I know you Noah. You're a good person. If you were doing something bad, I'm sure you have your reasons." She fell silent for a moment. "But I also know in the end, you'd find a way to fix everything. . . the right way. You're not your father, Noah, despite what you may think. You'll never be him."

"How can you say that?" Noah wanted to condemn himself. He wanted so badly to tell her all about how he had earned a living over the past few years. What he had done to survive. "I'm not the same person I was when we were kids."

"Yes," Maddie said reaching up to touch his cheek. "Yes, you are. You're still the same Noah I know and love."

"How can you…" Noah started to protest.

"I can and I do." There was a look of determination in her eyes. "Call me selfish. But I really don't want to see Luke with Reg. I don't want to see him walking down the aisle with the likes of him."

Noah looked at her and laughed out loud. "You along with the rest of this town. What's so bad about this guy anyway that makes everyone want to run him out of Oakdale permanently."

"Oh c'mon, Noah. You're not actually going to sit there and tell me you don't have a clue."

" You mean apart from the guy being a jerk?"

"I think asshole would better describe Reg," she muttered. "You on the other hand, would be a better match for Luke."

"Yeah right" Noah rolled his eyes. "Look at you, Ms. Matchmaker."

"I know you're feeling something when you're with him"

Noah nodded. "You're right, I do. But I also know I'm not the right guy for him."

"There isn't a Mr. Right or Mr. Wrong here. It's not about that at all."

"But you just said Reg wasn't right for him," Noah pointed out.

"Reg is a special case," She said dryly. "Please Noah, do something before you might lose him."

"I think I already have." Noah dropped his head. "I couldn't tell Luke about you or my father or any of that. I couldn't. It's like I said, Maddie, I've changed. There's a reason why I am here; and it's not the reason you think. I'm not such a good person anymore, I've done things you would never do."

"You're starting to sound like your father again. You're not him and you'll never be! Just take a chance, Noah, or you might lose the best thing that could ever happened to you."

She gave his arm a quick squeeze before rising up and brushing the dirt from her jeans. "But it's up to you whether you want a relationship with Luke."

"Will I see you again?" Noah was frightened at the possibility of not seeing Maddie again for a long time.

"Don't worry. I'll be around, " she said smiling before walking off leaving Noah alone with his thoughts.