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A/N: I decided that I would post one more chapter before the release of BD! I do intend on finishing the story...I just think we will all be really busy over the next week at least. Thank you to those that have taken the time to review! Your words keep me going. We all love a little pat on the back sometime. Now without further delay...Chapter Eight!
Previously:
"Hello." I said. "Long time no talk."
Chapter Eight
JPOV
"Damn straight!" Emmett yelled into the phone so loudly, I had to hold the earpiece away from my sensitive ears. "Haven't heard from you in a while, bro! I'm beginning to think you don't love me anymore."
Leave it to Emmett to get all sappy on me. "I love you, man. It's hard not to. I have been really busy lately."
"Busy doin' what? Running all over the country side…playing hide and seek from your family?" He mocked.
"It's not like I can hide from Alice's visions, Emmett. I know she keeps tabs on me." I said flatly. It pained me to know that she watched me, and only by her visions was she able to keep up with me.
"Well, she stopped doing that a while ago…Look, man, it's time you get your shit together and come home. I don't know how long Alice can keep this up. It is too painful for her. She is withdrawing from the family, bro. She has locked herself in her room, and we have to force her to feed. It's not pretty."
Emmett wasn't one to buck the truth, and it pained me to know that the love of my life was hurting; however there was some unfinished business that I had to tend to. I wasn't ready to share my news of finding Bella with Emmett just yet.
"Jasper, did you hear what I said?" Emmett asked. "She isn't herself. She needs you. The whole family needs you to come home."
"Where's Edward?"
"He came home four months ago, but he isn't any help. He spends most of his time locked in his room too. I swear I am about ready to beat some sense into him. He's the one that started all of this. Maybe a good ass kicking will wake him up." He paused for a moment before realizing he went off topic. "Catching you up on Edward's life isn't why I called."
"I know. Look, Em…there are some things I have to do before I can come home." I thought carefully before adding, "If Alice would look…she would understand."
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" He roared. "I already told you she isn't herself. We can't even mention your name and she loses it…more than usual, man…something's gotta change. I am getting really tired of two comatose vampires living so close to me." I could tell the role he had to take in the family was beginning to take its toll on him.
"I am so frustrated I feel like I need to break things. I don't think Esme would appreciate that. And Rosalie isn't helping the situation either. She doesn't hide her feelings about you leaving, and rants in her mind things that send Edward into a fit of rage nearly everyday." He rambled.
"Don't destroy anything, Emmett, it would definitely piss Esme off. In regards to your wife…well, that is a problem you brought on yourself. You're the one that married her."
"Ha ha! Very funny. Speaking of marrying…"
"Let me guess…ummm…you and Rosalie are getting married…again?"
"Yes! Hey! How did you know?…Oh never mind, not important right now. You have two months, dear brother of mine, to get your head on straight, and your shit in line so you can come home. I need you here to be my best man…you're the only one left that would be able to." He added.
"Two months?"
"You losing your hearing, brother? Two months!" He yelled.
"Okay, Emmett. I will do my best to be there." Before he could say anymore, I hung up my phone.
I was still in front of Bella's apartment, and I looked into her living room window…no lights. I knew today was taxing on her both physically and mentally. It wasn't easy on me either. In a matter of 24 hours, I had started a new job, ran into someone I had nearly killed three years ago, and asked her to be a part of my life again. I sighed realizing what a turn my life had taken.
As I reached my car, I felt the most undeniable hate coming from a house across the street. I turned to look and couldn't see where the source was. I was immediately on alert; the hairs on the back of my neck stood on end. Someone across the street didn't like the fact that I was here. I could tell the emotions were aimed at me; however none of my other senses seemed to help me at the time. I couldn't make out any differences in the still air around me and my hearing didn't pick up anything out of the ordinary. I made a mental note to ask Bella if she knew her neighbors.
I quickly got in my car, started it up and sped down the road towards home.
EPOV
Three years, two months, 24 days, 16 minutes, 33 seconds and counting. I stared at the clock on the wall…willing the seconds to stop. I had been keeping track of the time since I left the love of my life in the forest by her home. My heart had broken that day and my life no longer had meaning.
I had spent two years away from my family, just after we left Forks, tracking Victoria to no avail. I had never been a good tracker and she led me on a wild goose chase all over the country. It was the only purpose I had at the time. Once I got sick of running all over the countryside, searching with no luck finding her, I decided to come home.
My family welcomed me with open arms, as I knew they would. They were supportive of my decision even though I knew that it pained them too. Bella was a sister, a daughter, and for me…my love. Never in my existence had I ever felt for someone the way I felt for her. I did what was best for her…I put her first when I left…and now I would pay for the rest of eternity.
Jasper had left the family before I had. I believe it was incredibly painful for him to be around me--I could see the guilt in his eyes--and no matter how hard I tried to be careful of my emotions around him, there were times when I just couldn't help myself.
Alice had tried to keep him here. She practically begged him not to leave…
"Please Jasper…don't go." She begged. "We can work through this. We have been through worse before." "I can't take it anymore," Jasper replied. "I can't handle Edward's pain, your pain, and my guilt any longer. It's too much for anyone to bear. I can't live this way. This life isn't for me. What would have happened if Emmett hadn't been there to pull me out of the house, Ali?" "But he did. You didn't hurt Bella. She's alive and well. Your control will get better over time. I'll never leave your side, please Jasper…I need you." She whispered as she buried her face in his chest. "I am tired of being babysat, Alice." He hissed and pushed her off him. "I can't do it anymore! I am tired of lying to myself and hurting you every time I make a mistake! If you love me, let me go!"
I didn't think I had ever seen Alice so distraught. She kept up with him for a while…looking into his future from time to time…but over the past few months she had gotten as bad as I had. Jasper had called for a while, speaking to her on the phone, making small talk, and had always avoided the topic of coming home.
There were times that Alice and I would just sit together quietly…not thinking or speaking…she was the only one who understood what I was going through, and I understood her pain too. There was no need for any words between us.
I knew that our behavior was beginning to unravel the family, but I also knew I couldn't help myself. I was miserable, and as much as I wanted to keep my family from my moodiness by staying locked in my bedroom; it was only a matter of time before the pressure cooker would explode.
"Edward," Carlisle thought. "May I speak to you for a moment?"
"Door's open."
My father opened the door and moved gracefully over to the couch where I was seated.
"I need to talk to you about how your behavior is affecting the family." He paused and looked into my eyes. "I realize you lost your meaning for life, Edward. I won't pretend to understand how you must be feeling, but I need you to think about your family right now."
"What do you want me to do, Carlisle? Pretend like it isn't killing me that I said goodbye to the best thing that ever happened to me?" My temper was starting to get the best of me. "I can't do that. I wish I were dead! At least dying would be better than what I am going through now!"
"Edward Anthony Masen Cullen!" My father said out loud. "I don't ever want to hear you utter those words again! It is time for you to step up and take your role in this family. No more talk of dying!"
"I'm sorry, Carlisle." I hung my head, shame plastered on my face.
"Don't ever let Esme know you are thinking what you are. She's already lost too much. I don't need her worrying about losing you any more than she already has. Have you even thought about how your behavior is affecting your mother?"
"I know." I didn't know what else to say. My conduct since returning home had been less than social. I didn't leave my room except to hunt and I did that alone. I had withdrawn so much from the family; I didn't have to work at keeping out their thoughts. Rosalie, however, had a way of pissing me off frequently with her thoughts about Bella.
"I don't expect the change to happen right away, son, but I know you are better than how you are acting now." He put his hand on my knee and added, "I love you. I know you'll do what is right."
With those last words he got up and left the room, not waiting for a reply.
I leaned back against the armrest and closed my eyes. I knew I wouldn't ever get over Bella, but I also knew that I needed to try to start living again…even if only for my family.
I mentally chastised myself for bringing up my true feelings about wanting to die. Carlisle rarely raised his voice, and I knew that my words had cut him deep. It wasn't often I heard my full name spoken aloud.
I laid there lost in my thoughts when I suddenly heard a scream from down the hall.
"EDWARD!"
I jumped up and raced down the hall to my sister's room. Alice was sitting on the edge of her bed, eye's open wide, and her body was shaking all over. Rosalie was kneeling beside her.
"I came in to check on her." She sobbed. "And I found her like this! I can't wake her up, Edward! I can't snap her out of it!"
I knelt down in front of Alice and tried to get her to look in my eyes. "Alice? Sweetie? What is it? What are you seeing? It's Edward, Alice. I'm here." I sat next to her and pulled her stiff body onto my lap, and stroked her short, spiky hair.
We sat still for only a moment before she went limp in my arms. Her vision played itself out in my mind causing me to gasp at what I saw. "Oh, Alice…"
Okay...will that help bring you back after BD?
Updated Sept 13th...needed a little tweeking. Please review!
