To Heal a Broken Heart
Chapter Eight - Vulnerable
Disclaimer: I do not own FF7 and its characters, settings or the like. These words, however, are mine.
What is wrong with me?
The unusually cold wind was whipping at her face and she had to narrow her eyes. Maybe it wasn't cold at all; maybe it was just her and how she was feeling at that moment.
Empty.
"Why didn't I ever tell Cloud those things?" She asked herself in silent despair.
Why did she tell him, of all people? Rufus Shinra.
She couldn't help but look back over her shoulder as she thought of him. He was back in his wheelchair and following slowly behind her, keeping a reasonable distance between them. A slight confusion rushed into her. Why did he get out of his wheelchair? Why hadn't he told her that he didn't really need it?
She scoffed at her foolishness, a bitter smile gracing her lips. How was it any of her business?
She raised her eyes and scanned the sky. The beautiful sunset she'd just been laying under, the warmth and spray of gorgeous colours that had painted the beach suddenly look cold and so far away.
She composed herself and turned around, walking into the villa she'd only just reached.
Walking inside, she found the two children, smiling as they watched the TV. Their eyes sparkled and she thought the looked genuinely happy; how could she ever take them away from something like that?
She seemed to zone in on Marlene completely. She had been like that once -- so full of life, so stubborn and naive.
What the hell had happened?
Would she ever be happy again?
She had to avert her gaze as the fears that has always harbored inside of her before now returned, needling into her.
"Tifa!"
Her expressionless eyes laid themselves to rest on Marlene's peaceful face. A flash of emotion and then there was nothing. "Where's Rufus? Didn't he find you?"
"Yes, he did." She muttered.
Marlene shot her a skeptical look before returning to the glowing TV, trying hard to ignore Tifa's sadness. She'd never liked seeing other people down in the dumps before. Tifa was no exception.
It was then that Tifa really looked at where they were staying. Sure, she'd been here before with Cloud as potential buyers, but she'd never really thought of the place as significant.
Maybe she thought it was now because she wanted to keep the children here forever. Anything to make those smiles stay where they belonged.
There were various windows, letting in the last bits of sunlight and giving the viewer a truly spectacular view. The curtains only added to it and she found herself liking the styles of furniture and tidbits layered around the large room; a blend of warm colours paired with complex landscape drawings and funky designs.
Funky. Hadn't someone said this place was exactly that?
Yuffie.
Tifa smiled and wished she could see her. She needed to talk to her, she needed her; her best friend, her sister.
The door opened with the smallest creak, but Tifa heard it and she was immediately pulled out of her thoughts and annoyed.
"Stomping off shows great maturity, I must say."
She closed her eyes and tried to block out his voice. She could almost imagine the smug smirk on his face.
Silence.
"Letting it out might do you good in the future."
"What the hell do you know?" Tifa retaliated. The last stroke.
"A lot more then you may realize." Rufus replied, his voice harsh and sure. She had the distinct feeling he'd been holding this all in out on the beach. "You're not the only one with problems."
Cloud.
"You think I don't know that?" Tifa asked, her voice breaking in the slightest. "I tried to help them, I tried to help him." She went on and she saw out of the corner of her eye, Marlene and Denzel watching the exchange with piqued curiosity.
She closed her eyes when she saw Aerith, Yuffie, Barret, all laughing in her mind.
She had helped them.
Why was she so damn bitter?
"I did help them. Look where it's gotten me?"
Selfishness never did play in.
"Maybe I should have been taking better care of myself." She said, sighing and turning away from him.
God, she was rambling again. Why was everything so complicated?
She heard the rustling of fabric and soft footsteps. Before she knew what was happening he was standing behind her, his arm resting on her forearm and his hot breath on her neck. "You're not alone -- you never have been." He all but breathed into her ear.
He was gone almost as quickly as he'd been there.
She noticed her heart was beating faster then it should have been.
What was that...?
She raised a hand to her head as Rufus made his way into his room and shut the door. She almost felt light-headed.
...I'm not alone?
Her feelings were spinning out of control as she tried to absorb whatever it was she was feeling. She was sure she'd felt this way before and she was sure she knew with whom, but it had never felt so strong.
She raised her eyes to the roof and stumbled back rather ungracefully. "I'm going out for a while you two -- get back to bed if I'm not back in a bit, alright?" She said and was glad to find her voice was still steady despite what she felt.
Marlene and Denzel's worried gazes were too much to bear and she rushed out the door. She stopped just outside and let her hand rest on the doorknob, trying to refocus.
I really need to relax...
She looked around at several of the buildings, reading the signs and trying to decide what to do to get her mind off of her current situation.
She finally laid her eyes to rest on one particular building and strode forward.
Nothing could work better.
Laying on the soft bed in his fair sized room, Rufus sighed. If there was one person he thought was a challenge, it was going to have to be Tifa. She was stubborn yet quiet, only outspoken if provoked and she had a whole network of feelings churning deep inside of her. Her admired her, secretly, for everything she'd ever done. Dealing with the losses she had, her hometown, parents, friends and then to go on and face all the hardships of a failing relationship and saving the world... She was heavily relied on and he couldn't imagine how she must feel.
In this case, admiration could be tricky.
Not only was she all those things, but she was a compassionate woman.
She'd called herself bitter and yet he couldn't see anything pointing to such a thing.
You've always been able to hide it.
He flinched as the thought raced through him.
She was emotionally scarred, he thought, and damn good at hiding it.
So was he.
Was that why he felt like he could be so open towards her? It took a lot of self control not to, but he'd been able to pull it off so far.
He didn't know what had compelled him to get so close to her minutes before. He didn't regret it, he found and he wished he could experience it again.
She was so damn beautiful...
He frowned. Beautiful?
Since when did he find women beautiful?
He shook his head and rolled over, closing his eyes and trying to let sleep claim him.
Beautiful?
No... The way she lives is beautiful... She's gone through so much and come out strong on the other side with so much... That's all it is.
He groaned lightly and justified it further until he was happy.
It was nothing -- absolutely nothing. He forced her from his mind and eventually found himself pondering over what he was going to do next. Financial duties and the like needed to be carried out, of course.
He could hear that annoying little voice in the back of his head asking him who he was kidding the entire time.
