Disclaimer: The characters of CSI: NY do not belong to me however this story is of my own and should only be used after permission has been asked and given. No copyright infringement intended and no profit is being made.
Summary: AU. SM, DL. It wasn't always fun to have a trained investigator for a parent. Then again, being a single parent was no easy feat either…
Notes: Huge thanks to, lilymoonlight, MesserFamilyFan100 and HellsBellsBella for reviewing the last chapter.
Life As We Know It
Stella carefully wiped the kitchen counters down, smiling to herself as she dusted sequins and glitter into her palm. After weeks of begging, she and Mac had finally relented, allowing Danny and Lindsay to have a sleepover on the weekend Stella had off from work. At the request of the children, they had so far made headdresses with the arts and crafts set Stella had bought, using feathers, glitter and sequins before going out to play in the closed courtyard of the apartment complex.
The windows of the fourth floor apartment were thrown open and Stella could hear the two children as they played, occasionally going out to the balcony to ensure they were both happy and safe. Apart from the spat they'd had upon first meeting, Stella had heard of no further problems between the two youngsters and she was pleased. If she were honest, she was glad that Danny and Lindsay had connected so well, figuring that they could both benefit from having a close friend.
The kitchen timer buzzed and Stella hurried to the oven, donning a pair of kitchen gloves before pulling the oven dish out from beneath the grill. She placed the bubbling macaroni and cheese on to the counter to cool before returning to the balcony and calling down that dinner was ready.
"Be up in a minute, Ma," Danny called back before she returned to the kitchen. Stella had finishing dishing out equal portions and was setting the table when the two children walked through the front door, cheeks flushed and talking animatedly to each other. They were still wearing their headdresses though sequins were missing from Lindsay's and a couple of Danny's feathers were bent.
"Go and wash up, then we'll eat," Stella instructed, noticing smudges of dirt on both children.
They raced to the bathroom whilst Stella locked the apartment door and prepared a pitcher of water for the table. Danny and Lindsay returned, climbing into their seats as Stella poured water into three glasses and then settled down to eat with them.
"Linds, Mac- erm, your daddy," Stella corrected, the words foreign even after a month. "Called whilst you were playing; he said be good, he hoped you were having a good time, sleep well and he'll see you tomorrow."
"Will he call again?" Lindsay asked, stabbing a piece of macaroni and placing it into her mouth.
"I don't think so, sweetheart," Stella replied apologetically. "He sounded quite busy."
The truth was they'd been rushed at the lab recently with links forming between a cold case and the murder of a student the previous week. Although they were convinced their only suspect was guilty, they couldn't prove anything other than circumstantial evidence and so whilst the Chief of Police was pushing for an arrest, the DA was refusing to convict until they had more solid evidence. The team had been strained and Mac in particular had been stressed, having been confronted by their victim's parents who accused him of giving up. Stella had offered to give up her weekend off but Mac had insisted, claiming he wanted her and the two children to have as normal a weekend as possible.
"Oh, ok. I'll have to show Daddy my headband tomorrow then so he'll know just how much fun I was having."
"I'm sure he'll like that," Stella replied on a smile. "You both sounded like you were having a lot of fun out there."
"We were," Danny answered, pausing to swallow his mouthful. "We were playing Indians. Like the ones who live near Lindsay's home in Montana. And we ride horses and live in a tent and have a pet eagle and talk to spirits and climb rocks and stuff. And we even got special names that are about outside and that kinda thing."
Stella smiled at his explanation; as he'd grown older, Danny had become self-conscious about explaining his make believe games with her and so she was glad she could share in this with him. His excitement was infectious and she found herself intrigued that her born and bred city kid could be enjoying a game set in the mid-West that didn't have even the hint of a baseball in it.
"So what are these special names, then?" she inquired.
"I'm Forest Wolf and Lindsay is Pale Feather 'cause that's what she gets called back in Montana by peoples."
"Who called you Pale Feather, Lindsay?" Stella asked, interested in the name.
"Ayita called me Pale Feather. She said it was because if the wind blew I'd be caught up in it, running to wherever it took me. Then I'd play with Paytah and he'd call me Pale Feather as well and then when I told my brothers they called me it too! So then nearly everyone called me Pale Feather."
Stella chuckled at her childlike exaggeration. "And who is Ayita and Paytah?" she asked, pronouncing each name carefully.
"They're my friends. Ayita's a lady who cleaned the ranch a lot and she would look after me when Mommy was working late and Sean was away and she'd bring Paytah too because she was his mommy and we'd play… only, he was sick one day so Mommy took me to the diner with her…" as Lindsay trailed off, Stella knew what night it was that Ayita had been unable to look after her.
"Oh! And I forgot the best part!" Danny continued, oblivious to the momentary sadness that had passed over Lindsay and his mother. "We work together to protect the silver bullet."
Stella frowned, suddenly concerned that Danny had somehow managed to find a way into her gun safe. "What's the silver bullet?" she asked casually.
"It's the train," Lindsay supplied, recovering quickly as she drew strength from Danny. "We gotta make sure the bandits don't steal from it by doing this-" and she broke off, placing a hand over her mouth and whooping, the noise reverberating against her moving hand. Danny grinned before joining in and Stella laughed as she watched her two Native Americans jig in their seats happily. She raised a hand to quieten them down before they descended into real chaos and the two children wore matching grins as they continued dinner, eating with fervour and occasionally commenting about what it would be like to really live in the wild.
It was much later that evening when Danny and Lindsay had been put to bed and Stella herself was turning in for the night that Danny burst into her bedroom, looking frantic. She'd been in the process of brushing her hair at the time when she saw him through the reflection of the vanity mirror; his face was a mask of worry and his eyes were red rimmed as he squinted at her without his glasses. Stella swivelled around to face him as he ran to her, his hair stuck up at odd angles.
"Ma, quick you've gotta come!"
"Danny, what is it? What's wrong?"
"She won't stop crying and I think she's hurt," he told her hurriedly, looking terrified. Danny grabbed at her hand and pulled his mother to standing before she followed him to his bedroom down the hall. The door was already thrown open and Stella snapped a light on, upon entering.
Lindsay, who was sleeping on a camp bed low to the floor, was moaning in her sleep and thrashing about, tears running down her cheeks. Stella's heart went out to the poor girl as she recognised that Lindsay was caught up in some sort of nightmare – undoubtedly about the night Claire died.
"Danny, get back into bed, ok? You don't have to go to sleep if you don't want to but I want you to get back into bed for me. Do as I say," she instructed gently. The six year old did as he was told, his eyes transfixed on Lindsay and his mother as Stella knelt beside the still thrashing girl and tried to coax her awake. "Lindsay? Lindsay, sweetheart, it's Stella. You have to wake up now. C'mon darling, wake up please."
After more gently coaxing during which Stella stroked Lindsay's cheek, there was a shift in Lindsay as she transitioned from sleeping to waking up. The tears stopped and the thrashing lessened before Lindsay's eyes flew open and she shot upwards into a sitting position. Stella pulled Lindsay into her arms as the terrified girl trembled, breathing heavily and looking around wildly. Tears filled her eyes once more as she looked between Danny's terrified face and Stella's consoling one.
"It's alright Lindsay, you're safe now, nothing's going to hurt you," Stella reassured her. She rubbed a soothing hand up and down her back in strong motions, feeling Lindsay slowly relax.
"I saw him again, he was here in New York and had a gun pointed at Daddy," Lindsay told her, her low lip trembling as a tear rolled down her cheek.
"Ssh, it's ok. He's not here, he's far away and he's not going to hurt you or Daddy. You're safe; we won't let anyone hurt you."
Exhaustion hit Lindsay and her eyes slammed shut before blinking slowly open again. Stella laid her back down in the camp bed and tucked the little girl in, stroking her forehead until her breathing began to even out and she teetered on sleep. Stella stood back up, her knees cracking and turned to face Danny who looked concerned but less frightened.
"If she has a bad dream again, you come and get me straight away, ok?" Stella asked and Danny nodded, suddenly looking determined and as though he was Lindsay's protector. Stella settled her son back into bed and kissed his forehead before retreating from the room, leaving the door partially open so she could hear if anything was amiss again. Danny waited until his mother had left before climbing out of the bed and crawling in next to Lindsay.
Lindsay rolled over so they lay facing each other. Danny took her hand firmly within his own. "It's ok Lindsay, I'll look after you. You don't gotta be scared, no more."
"You're my best friend, Danny Messer."
Danny grinned. "You're my best friend too. No go to sleep and I'll make sure you're safe."
Lindsay shut her eyes obediently and Danny gave her hand a final squeeze before also falling asleep.
"Hey, Kiddo!"
Mac opened his arms as Lindsay ran into him, lifting her up as she squealed in delight and settling her on his hip. She was perhaps too old to be carried in this way but Mac had six years to make up for and being close to her was one thing he'd never grow tired of. "Did you have a good time?"
Lindsay nodded enthusiastically. "We had mac'roni and cheese for dinner and we made Indian headbands and me and Danny played lots. We also watched a film before bed and it was really good."
"Really? What film was it?" Mac asked, matching her enthusiasm.
Lindsay thought for a moment, tapping her chin before shrugging and laughing. "I don't remember!"
"You never remember!" he accused light heartedly, poking her in the sibs so she squealed before setting her back on her feet again.
Stella, who had stood by and watched the exchange, gave them both a smile. "Hey Lindsay, why don't you go and get your stuff together so you'll be ready to leave?"
"Okay!" the six year old raced off, back in the direction of Danny's bedroom and the two adults smiled, watching her go.
"She really is a ball of energy and enthusiasm," Stella commented with a smile. She turned to Mac, her expression turning serious. "She had a nightmare last night, quite a bad one I think. Gave Danny a right old scare, he came running into my room to get me and I managed to wake her up and calm her down."
Mac sighed. "I'm sorry Stel, I thought she'd be alright. How was Danny? Was he freaked out?"
"Hey, hey, you don't need to apologise," Stella reassured him. "Danny and I were fine, just concerned. She dreamt that Claire's killer was in New York and that he was going to kill you – it really scared her. I know you don't want to send her to a psychologist but perhaps you should think about talking to her yourself. Just let her know that she can come to you, it might help."
"Did she only have the one nightmare?" Mac asked.
"Yeah, she was fine after she woke up the first time – though I think my son might have something to do with that. I walked in this morning to find them both crammed on the camp bed holding hands whilst they slept. It was quite sweet, really."
Mac gave her a crooked smile, the image a warming one. Lindsay returned then, breathless and dragging a backpack behind her. Mac took the backpack from her and slung it over his own shoulder. "Ready to go?"
"Uh-huh, you bet."
"What d'you say to Stella?" he gently prompted.
Lindsay threw her arms around Stella's waist, resting her chin against her stomach as she looked up into the adult's face. "Thank you for having me, Stella. It was the bestest sleepover, ever!"
Stella smiled down at the small girl. "Well then you are most certainly welcome and we'll always be happy to have you here."
The father and daughter duo said their goodbyes before leaving the apartment. Stella could hear Lindsay's excited chatter as they made their way towards the elevators whilst she shut and locked the front door. She turned back into the apartment, calling for Danny as she did so.
"Come out here for a minute, please!"
Danny obligingly came from his room, decked out in swimming goggles, a baseball cap, apron and carrying a toy gun. What Stella had wanted to say left her for a moment as she stared at him in his absurd costume. "What… what are you wearing?"
Danny shrugged. "Me and Lindsay were pretending to play laser tag before she had to leave. What's up?"
"C'mere," she held out an arm and led him over to the sofa what they both sat down on. She waited until they were both comfortable. Danny was staring up at her in open confusion and she was finding it difficult to ignore his choice of clothing. "I wanted to talk to you about last night."
"Why? Did I do something wrong?"
"What? No, no, of course not," she was quick to reassure him. "I wanted to talk to you about Lindsay-"
"Oh no, don't blame Lindsay, it wasn't her fault. I shouldn't'a gotten you. Blame me, not her!"
His quick jump to Lindsay's defence made Stella inwardly smile. "It's not that either. I'm glad you came and got me, it was the right thing to do and if anything like that ever happens again then I'd expect you to do the same. I wanted to tell you why Lindsay was so scared last night and why she was having nightmares," Stella paused. Danny's expression was full of curiosity now and for a moment she was struck with the thought of how his life would be if he were suddenly motherless. "I know that you know Lindsay's mommy died, but you don't know how she died. You know how we sometimes go to Al's Diner after baseball? Well Lindsay's mommy worked in a diner like that and she was working late one night whilst Lindsay was sat in a booth, colouring-"
"She sure does like to colour," Danny interrupted briefly, still unaware of how painful this conversation was for his mother.
"I know she does," Stella agreed, giving him a watery smile. "When Lindsay's mommy went to lock the front door, a man ran in with a shot gun. Lindsay hid under the table and she watched whilst the man stole the money out of the cash register and then shot her mommy. That's how she died and… and that's why Lindsay gets so scared at night. Sometimes when she's asleep, she dreams that the man's going to come back and do it again." All of the expression had left Danny's face as he stared up at his mother. "D'you get why I'm telling you this? It's not to scare or to worry you but to let you know why Lindsay sometimes gets so scared."
"Is the same thing gonna happen to you?" Danny asked in a quiet voice.
Stella pulled him close. "No, darling, of course it's not. I'm here and I'm safe, ok?"
"I don't want you to die," Danny admitted, his voice still quiet and monotonous.
"I know you don't, but I'm not going to. You believe me, don't you?" She pulled back to look into his grave face and he gave her a small nod, biting his bottom lip. She leant forward and pressed a kiss to his forehead. "I promise nothing will happen to me. I just wanted you to know why Lindsay was so scared last night, just to make sure you weren't worried about it."
"I'll protect both of you from the bad man," he promised, his arms tight around his mother.
Stella rubbed a hand down his back. "Well then me and Lindsay will be very lucky to have such a big, brave boy to look after us. I want you to promise me that you won't worry anymore about me dying, ok? I'm safe as can be, besides," she leaned in close to him, murmuring conspiratorially. "I know how to shoot a gun, so no one's gonna mess with me."
Danny grinned and pulled back. "Will you let me shoot your gun?"
"Hmm, let me think… no, definitely not."
"Awww, Ma!"
