Chapter 8

Morituri te salutant

"I doubt that highly."

Who was Jacob to decide what I was capable of and willing to endure? I could very well manage without him that I was sure of. I had been doing that for the better part of a couple of weeks and if it wasn't for his depression and my compassion I doubt I would think of him farther. Then again, I never liked being away from him he had been a very loyal friend. He did keep me very much sane and alive for Edward.

Was I being cruel to him by remaining with Edward? I was following my heart that can't be wrong. I had always been selfless when it came to these two particular men. Or at least that's what Edward always told me. I never wanted this and I never wanted to hurt either of them in this way, but if I could possibly guilt them into seeing my way then perhaps it would be all worth it. I knew then that I was being selfish for a change so Catherine like in every sense of the character. Maybe I had always been selfish to a degree trying to have the balance between the two people I care for most of all. By keeping my friendship with Jacob and my relationship (whatever we deem it now) with Edward, I have been selfish. But can they not understand the feelings I harbor for them? Certainly not of the same likeness but feelings I no longer wish to avoid. Perhaps my humanity clouds this answer from me, and with it I cannot watch this happen when I know that I have the power to stop it. So yet again I found the strength to fight for them if they were not willing to fight for themselves, and least not in the peaceful way.

"You might believe that now, but test me…I dare you. I'm not the one about to become a murderer here all over a treaty that I doubt your respective families really want to see played out!" I motioned to all the people that surrounded us. I couldn't be so sure about the pack but I knew that the Cullens would feel this way. After Alice's attempt to "rescue" me from unnecessary danger, I could see their faces and understand what must be going on internally.

"You don't understand," Jacob barked.

"So they want to see you die?" I farther gestured to his pack. "That is a little sick if they want to see you die and did you ever think of Billy? He needs you. I'm pretty sure it would kill him to know what you are about to do," I continued before he could interject with anything else.

"No Jacob I understand this perfectly. You are willing to die for a stupid worthless cause…The road to hell is no longer paved with good intentions but rather lust, anger and jealousy." I made this insinuation not believing in it in the slightest. I never wanted to bring myself into it but this had to be the cause of some underlying tension. Jacob and I were about to argue further but Edward finally added himself into the conversation.

"And you base this on the treaty that we agreed to?" I was left to stare but caught myself before I was totally gone. I responded as I ought to.

"Had it been just that, your," I then looked to Jacob, "argument towards my comprehension would be plausible but I have other reasons you know I have!"

"They would be…?" Did Edward seriously want to taunt me into this farther? How could he be this thick headed?

"Victoria." Both men sighed. They obviously knew this was coming.

"You both are about to kill each other here and yet if I recall correctly the only reason you two broke the treaty was to eliminate this threat," I said in complete control of my anger.

"Well then," Edward started exactly as calm as I was being. Poor Jacob was still seething with anger. I had better watch myself. "Then it looks as if our road to hell is very much paved with good intentions after all." Our battle was of wits and I knew that by teasing me in this way that, unlike my mind, my motives and objective were no longer secret to him. In this tango, Jacob became more of a sideline character.

"Well it certainly started out as such, but now after the treaty obviously holds no practical and sensible thought it has taken the form of a different fight altogether." I could taunt too. His eyes gleamed at me and traces of his crooked smile fell upon his lips. Slowly I saw his eyes trace over to Jacob. He was telling me something. It took a moment and then the anger within me struck hot. Perhaps I was not so off the mark with my last statement. If Edward knew that Jacob was willing to fight because of his envy and his lust over me then why did Edward agree to it? Why didn't Edward do something to stop this? Edward had me already it is not like he has to worry if I'm going to trade him in for something better. What could be better?

I thought both of them were lost by the treaty, while it constricted them of any other solution but I was wrong. Edward knew better and didn't even fight for the peaceful and less morbid way out. At the same time, Jacob knows what he is doing too. He intentionally wants to fight Edward to win me over. They are fighting over the dumbest of all reasons…me. This is the only reason, while I was blinded by the treaty and its impractical application to the situation. And what of my choices? Did I not have a say in this situation? Oh, whoever wins gets the girl.

"I am not a prize to be won!" I was so angry and yes at the same time recklessly egotistical too. "I've had enough of this obviously you both cannot seem to find reason." I started walking into the woods but before I left I spat out three rather interesting words. Don't question how I brought forth Joseph Conrad at this moment, but the words were spiteful especially if not fully able to hurt Edward."Morituri te Salutant!" (Heart of Darkness reference and it means from what I learned in school, Welcome to the gates of hell but it also means those who are about to die salute you) And with that I was gone only after I caught a glimpse of Edwards face. He was appalled by my choice of words and quote. He knew what it meant perfectly this after was the book he had chosen to do his English project on.

I walked deeper and deeper into the woods. Then I remembered what Angela had said in school when I gave her a watered down version of this situation. "Edward's only human, Bella. He's going to react like any other boy." She was right, when it comes to competition Edward will stand his ground. He's not afraid, but I am. And in the end can I expect Edward to be like my dream and prove that massive point? He is fighting not just for me, but for us. This guilt trip was all for nothing because in the end Jacob won't stop until I decide once and for all who I wanted. Perhaps there never was any peaceful way out of this. "Now I understand," I said to myself as I was entrenched in the woods alone.

"Unfortunately, you won't live long enough to tell anyone."

Andy: I know this story has totally strayed from the really close-cut- character story I started out with but I just had so much fun making Bella a little more vocal and show off a little more of her amazing intellect. WE know she's got it. Hell deep down I think she has always been this vocal. I see it in Twilight...she is very sarcastic and amazingly smart. Maybe I'm reading too much into it or interpreted the book wrong. If not for that then at least let me assume for now that Edward and Bella's relationship has helped them grow. Edward becomes more compassionate and dare I say it...human while Bella becomes a little more secure. Oh crap I should write that in. Thanks for reading and I hope that if you are ever bored to finish reading this story but I doubt any of you will continue b/c OMG Eclipse is coming out TOMORROW!!!!!!!!

Enjoy the new book becasue you know I will!