You BETTER be thankful.(: Because this single update took two months of hardcore brainstorming and two outtakes(I didn't really think they were as humorous as I wanted them to be). So review! Because I love every one of your opinions; I obsess over them when trying to think of another chapter idea. The inspiration from this chapter came from F M L . c o m, and rudi98 was VERY helpful as well(:
(A/N: This scene is going to be various characters speaking, although it could be any character, so I decided to leave out the extra. Personally, I think it makes this more funny! Haymitch, Katniss, and Prim's lines are more important, but you'll be able to tell when it's them speaking.)
"Wow."
"That was…"
"…yeah."
"What a show, eh?"
"Haymitch, shut up."
"You alright back there, Kat-piss?"
"Haymitch, shut up!"
"Katniss?"
"Yes, Little Duck?"
"What's a condom?"
Oh, shit.
…dead silence throughout the group.
"Picture a banana…"
"Or a popsicle…"
"Hell, maybe even a corn dog!"
"HAYMITCH, SHUT UP!"
***Line***
"Does this make my butt look big?" Katniss turns in the mirror, eyeing herself carefully. My eyes travel down her form-fitting cutout dress, the bright magenta contrasting heavily against her olive skin. I swallow, and she smiles in the mirror. "You like?"
"We may need to leave the club a bit early tonight."
"And why would that be?" Katniss asks innocently, her stormy eyes widening in the mirror. I wrap my arms around her waist, my palms spreading across her abdomen. She leans against me as I plant chaste kisses at the base of her neck, slowly spreading across her front until—
"Let's go!" Johanna yells after bursting through the door. "I'm planning on getting wasted tonight and that's not going to happen unless we leave within the next hour."
Hesitantly, Katniss detaches herself from me and grabs her purse. After swimming through the paparazzi, climbing in a sleek black limo, arriving at the club, and standing awkwardly beside the limo as Johanna flashes the paparazzi while getting out, we finally arrive at the club. "Effie told me that you two aren't allowed to leave the club tonight until 3:00 a.m., under no circumstances." Gale warns us as he proceeds to stop Johanna from making out with a Capital girl dressed as a French maid.
"…Is she even drunk yet?" I ask him.
His shoulders slump visibly.
After proceeding to rip the French maid's weave out, Johanna finds us a booth to sit in.
She orders four kamikazes.
…four tsunamis.
…four lemon drops.
…four mudslides.
With every shot, Katniss' breasts get just a little bit bigger. "Lesh…go do it." I giggle.
Katniss licks the salt off my jaw and downs a shot of tequila. "We—hiccup—shoodeen leave!" She warns me.
"Lesh jus…go to the porking lot."
Hiccup. "Shoor…lesh go to the porking lot!" Katniss bounces up and down.
…the last thing I remember is ordering one last shot before leaving the club.
***Line***
I lazily yawn and roll onto my back as a large drumming noise begins in the back of my head, spreading throughout my body until it's a screaming wail. My eyes open and reveal a metal cot fastened to the wall above me.
It reminds me of a pirate ship, like in the movies they began making after the rebellion.
...What the hell?
I'm not a pirate.
"Ugh!" I turn my throbbing head to the side, only to reveal a hooker sitting on a cot next to me. She points to my, ahem, morning situation. "Put that away, would you?"
…Wait a minute.
Pirate ships don't have hookers.
Oh, SHIT.
Okay, so I had to end it there. But a continuation of this chapter (sort of like what happened with chapter two) will be posted within the next few days. And, duh, hopefully you know where Peeta ended up;) The next chapter will explain what happened the night before. Review!
