Sirius

Shit, shit, shit.

Fucking shit.

Sirius stomped out his cigarette and pulled out his next. He glanced at the blue front door ahead of him, and flicked his lighter on. He should really knock, but he knew what he faced inside, and frankly, he'd rather have one more cigarette. For all he knew, it could be the last cigarette he ever had before he was brutally killed.

He took a long, slow drag, but it didn't help. Like they had since this morning, his nerves still felt frayed and tight. He scratched at his neck, and glanced down the street. Sirius had finished work an hour ago and it was just beginning to get dark. Pulling the cigarette from his mouth and stamping it out, despite the fact that he'd only just lit it, he approached the door. He curled his hand into a fist and went to knock.

He hesitated.

He wasn't ready, but he definitely deserved it. He'd fucked up, and he deserved whatever curses were about to be thrown at him.

He banged his fist against the door. It opened half a minute later. Evans took one look at him, and her face darkened.

"What did you do?" She growled, folding her arms across her chest.

"Evening, Evans." Sirius said, but his voice held none of his usual humour.

"What did you do?" She asked again.

Sirius sighed, dipping his fingers into his pocket and fiddling with his cigarette packet, "Can I come in?"

She stepped to the side, keeping her glare focused on him. He went in, wiping his feet on the doormat, and walked into the lounge. Prongs glanced up from the pregnancy book he was reading – yes, an actual pregnancy book! If Sirius hadn't been so torn up inside, he would have rolled his eyes so hard they'd never come back down – and nodded at Sirius, "What's up?"

"I need your wife's help." Sirius said, dropping onto the sofa next to Prongs.

"She's not going to Askaban for you." Prongs joked, shutting the book and placing it on the coffee table.

Lily stood in front of Sirius, her lips pursed, and tapped her foot impatiently, "What did you do?"

"I..." Sirius glanced at her wand poking out of her apron pocket. Damn. He should have really taken that off her before he stepped inside, "I did a thing."

"What thing did you do?" Prongs asked, with a smirk, "And why didn't you involve me?"

Sirius grimaced, "You don't want to be involved in this thing..."

Prongs's smirk disappeared and he mirrored Evans's look, only he looked more concerned, while she just looked murderous. He echoed Evans, "What did you do?"

"I had sex with Moony." Sirius said, dropping his face into his hands.

"You had sex with... Oh..." Prongs said. Sirius peeked through his fingers at Prongs and his expression of controlled horror, turned into a smug look, "I KNEW YOU LIKED HIM!"

Sirius narrowed his eyes at Prongs, "That's not really the important part."

"I knew it, ever since that stupid kiss in seventh year, I fucking knew it." Prongs said more to himself than anyone else, "And this fake relationship? Oh man, you two are so obvious. I knew it."

"PRONGS!" Sirius shouted, throwing his hands out in anger, "Will you stop wanking over yourself for a second, I have a problem here!"

"What is your problem? Really? Is it a problem that you love one of your mates? He loves you back, does that make it a problem? Because it doesn't sound like a problem..." Prongs said, rolling his eyes.

"That's not the problem, you tosser!" Sirius hissed.

"Okay, okay! Less of that language please! Some of us are carrying babies here." Evans said, gesturing to her stomach, "Sirius, what's your problem?"

"I had sex with Moony and then..." Sirius hesitated, he pulled a face and rubbed a hand over the back of his neck, "Agreed to a date with Gina."

"What!" Prongs shouted, while Evans just glared at Sirius. If looks could kill, Sirius would be a pile of ash right now.

"I didn't mean to." Sirius protested, desperate for a cigarette or a bottle of firewhiskey, or something to distract him. Gina had come to work with him, and she'd been in that stupid tiny dress and Sirius hadn't been able to focus. When she'd asked for a second chance, like the absolute idiot he was, Sirius had said yes, and she'd disappeared before he could take it back.

"How did you not mean to? How do you accidentally fuck your friend and then accidentally agree to date a girl? How the hell do you accidentally hurt your friend this much?" Prongs asked angirly, hitting Sirius over the head.

"I know, I don't know." Sirius said, dropping his head to his hands again.

"I'm going to ask you a question, and I need a serious answer." Evans said calmly.

Sirius glanced up to see her rolling her sleeves up. He could guess what she was going to ask - whether he loved Moony. Or whether he loved Gina. And he didn't know. Well, he did know he didn't love Gina, that was obvious. He didn't even like her. But Moony... That was where it got complicated. He liked Moony, obviously. But did he love him?

Sirius didn't know.

Evans arched one eyebrow, and Sirius nodded, waiting for her question – unsure of how he'd answer it.

"Your hands or your dick. Which do you want to keep?" Evans asked, aiming her wand at the space between his legs. Sirius widened his eyes, he had not been expecting this, and she stepped forward threateningly, "Answer, or I choose for you."

"Uh..." Sirius panicked. Luckily, Prongs chose that moment to lean over Sirius and snatch Evans's wand out of her hands, potentially saving Sirius's dick from a severing. She spun to face him, fury all over her face, and held her hand out for the wand. Prongs tucked the wand behind him on the sofa.

"Lily, I love you, but I can't let you castrate my best friend." Prongs said.

"I won't castrate him, I gave him a choice." Evans said, folding her arms across her chest, "Now give me my wand, Potter, or I castrate you too."

Prongs glanced nervously at Sirius. They shared a scared look, before Prongs shook his head and said, "Sorry, Evans, I can't let you."

"He hurt Remus and ditched him for Gina, and you're going to defend him?" She screeched, her voice almost reaching supersonic levels.

"I'm not defending him, he's a fucking idiot-"

"Hey!" Sirius interrupted.

"-But cutting his dick off isn't going to help us." Prongs said soothingly.

"It'll help me." Evans muttered.

"Can we stop talking about cutting off my dick for a second!" Sirius asked, jumping to his feet, "I need your help!"

"What do you want us to do?" Evans asked, narrowing her eyes at Sirius. From the look on her face, it was clear the last thing she wanted to do was help Sirius. She looked like she wanted to murder him with her bare hands.

"Help me get Moony to forgive me." Sirius said, quietly.

"No." Evans said, simply.

"But-"

"You don't deserve it."

"But I-"

"No, Sirius." Evans said, ending the conversation.

"So what am I supposed to do?" Sirius asked, running his hand through his hair nervously. Evans was right, he didn't deserve Moony's forgiveness, but in fairness, he hadn't even gone on a date with Gina. He'd only agreed to one, he could always cancel. He still wanted Moony, so badly. "I live with him, I can't go home while he's mad at me."

Moony might not even know about the date, but well, Sirius knew Gina, and she would have told him. She held a specific kind of hatred for Moony, and now Sirius guessed he knew why. She must have known about his feelings for Sirius long before even Prongs knew.

Or maybe she was just a total bitch – yeah, probably the latter.

"Not my problem, Black." Evans shrugged, turning and walking into the kitchen. She slammed the door shut behind her.

Prongs let out a low whistle, "She's extra scary when she's pregnant, isn't she?" Sirius turned to stare at him and he stood up, "I'll help, but I don't think there's much I can do."

Sirius pinched the bridge of his nose, "I just need him to..." Sirius trailed off. He didn't need Moony to do anything, he corrected himself, "I just need him."

Prongs placed a hand on his shoulder, and looked sincerely into Sirius's eyes, "I knew it."

Sirius laughed and shrugged out of Prongs's grip, then sarcastically added, "Thanks for all your help, Prongs."

Prongs wrapped an arm over his shoulder and pulled him towards the kitchen, in an undertone he muttered, "Thanks for pissing off my pregnant wife."

"You're welcome." Sirius laughed, palming the door open, "I'll sort it out. I'll... I don't know, I'll bring her a box of chocolates or something."

They stepped into the kitchen and stopped. Evans wasn't in there. She must have gone upstairs to avoid Sirius. Sirius pulled an apologetic face at Prongs, "Sorry."

"It's all right." He shrugged, "She'll come down when you're gone."

"Yeah... About that..." Sirius leaned back on the kitchen counter, "Can I stay here for the night? I'm scared Moony might murder me in my sleep."

"And you're not scared Lily will do the same?"

"I am, but at least here I have you to stop her."

"True, but there's only so many times I can save your life." Prongs laughed, tossing a bottle of butterbeer from the fridge at Sirius.

Sirius caught it expertly and twisted the cap off, he took a long swig. Prongs turned a dining chair to face Sirius and sat down. He nudged Sirius's foot with his own, "How could you agree to a date with her?"

Sirius remained silent, glancing down at the floor, and Prongs continued, "Don't you remember how it ended? Fuck, don't you remember the whole relationship?"

"I know! Okay! I know, I'm an idiot. But I was confused and she was in a dress and I couldn't think straight. I couldn't get Moony out of my mind and it doesn't make sense, I know, but Merlin, I don't know!" Sirius rambled, his words tumbling out of his mouth, "I was scared Moony didn't actually like me, because we're supposed to be pretending, right? So how do I know he's not pretending?"

Prongs gave a weary sigh, "He's not pretending. He's loved you since, like, seventh year, and I'm guessing you've loved him for just as long."

"How do you know?" Sirius asked sincerely.

"Because I'm not an idiot, and I'm not blind." Prongs scoffed. The two of them fell into silence for a while, drinking and lost in their own thoughts. Sirius stared at Prongs, he was so sure of Moony's feelings, why wasn't Sirius? More importantly, why had Prongs never told him Moony liked him? Or that Sirius liked Moony?

Eventually Prongs said, "You can stay here tonight."

"Shouldn't you get permission off your wife?" Sirius mocked.

Prongs looked offended, like he was about to insult Sirius, but then he stood up, placed his butterbeer onto the table and walked towards the hallway. Sirius laughed when he heard Prongs mutter, "Yeah, I probably should."

Sirius downed the remainder of his butterbeer and tossed the bottle into the bin. He wandered towards the fridge, and distantly heard Prongs shouting Evans's name. Before he even had chance to pull out another drink, Prongs burst back into the kitchen looking panicked. Sirius spun around and laughed, "I take it she said no?"

"She's gone." Prongs said, his eyes comically wide.

"What do you mean she's gone?"

Prongs closed the gap between them in a few steps and shook Sirius roughly by his shoulders, "My pregnant wife has ran away! I lost my pregnant wife!"

"Ow, Prongs, stop!" Sirius protested, batting Prongs's hands away. When Prongs released him, Sirius rubbed his shoulders where his fingernails had dug in, "Relax, I think I know where she went."