"Mom, are you sure you want me to move in with you? I mean I know I might need a little help but I could hire a nanny if" Ava asked last night as she talked to her mother. They loved each other that much was obvious to anyone who was around them for more than five minutes. Yet they also got on each others nerves than anyone else ever could. That worried her and the small fact that they'd never lived together alone. Sure Olivia moved in with her and Bill but there were so many other people there, assorted servants and Dinah, that it wasn't intrusive at all. Olivia was just one of the many mired in chaos but this time would be different. There wouldn't be ten different buffers to filter their aggravation and irritation through. She would hate to think her mother would regret extending the invite and maybe she didn't want Ava there at all? What if she was only suggesting living with her out of guilt? Yes Ava was going to be in her own room but she had a feeling that the separation between them was going to minimal if Emma had anything to do with it. Wouldn't it be better to just get on with it and move on her own with Max? But the thought of him brought another level to her stress.

"Nanny? Why would you need a nanny when you have me right down the hall?"

What if Olivia only wanted her along so she could stay connected to Max Ava thought becoming a bit ill but tried not to veer off into irrationality. "Mom I really appreciate you taking care of him for me but I know I can't depend on that forever. You have enough to deal with without taking on my responsibilities."

"The only thing that matters to me is taking care of you, Max, and Emma. Let me worry about the rest"

"Mom the Beacon is"

"The Beacon is surviving and doing pretty well thanks to Natalia so don't worry about it"

"You shouldn't have to rearrange your life to fit around me and Max mom and I don't want you to anymore" Ava said as her voice became hard with tension. She knew better than anyone how important the hotel was to her mother and how the woman had driven herself t create a better life for herself since leaving her small island. If Olivia lost the Beacon because of her. No. "Mom I just don't want" she tried again with a calmer voice before being cut off abruptly.

"What's going on Ava? What's all this about"

"Mom you said yourself that you are depending on Natalia to run your baby for you. I know how that must be killing you. The hotel is your life. I just don't want you to look back and resent"

"Resent what? Taking care of you and Max? Do you actually think I would regret that?"

"Mom I know you wouldn't regret taking care of us but I know you how much you love the Beacon and it would kill you if it failed because you were distracted by my craziness"

"First of all I don't ever want you to refer to yourself or my grandchild as craziness. Second yes I love the Beacon but not nearly as much as my family. If it blew away in a tornado or burned to the ground yes I would be sad and hurt but not nearly as hurt if I thought I wasn't there for you as I should be. As I want to be Ava." She heard Olivia say in her no nonsense fashion. Then there was a long a weighted pause before Olivia start again with some hesitance and insecurity. Two things she'd never associate with her mother. "Do you not want to stay with me Ava? I know that we've had our issues but I was looking forward to you being right down the hall and making up lost time. I thought you might be too"

"Mom, its not that. Its just. Well what if we hate living together" she had to take the phone from her face to wipe away her falling tears and started again in a very small voice. "I'm scared that we might hate each other again. I don't want to lose you too"

"Baby you can't lose me I swear. Of course we are going to get on each others nerves. Hell sometimes I want to ship your sister off to a European boarding school and have to keep telling myself only nine more years when Emma gets in a mood but I wouldn't trade it for anything. I want that for us too. Please" Olivia never said that word and the fact that her proud and independent mother would pled with her touched Ava more than she could express. They both shed several tears by the time the call ended but as it grew later in the morning Olivia begged off the line but warned her daughter they had a very important conversation soon but refused to go into details. Olivia only asked that she keep an open mind before the line went dead.

All her bags were packed, all the release papers signed and she'd already made appointments for the next month with a doctor right outside the city. Ava was sitting on her bed in her tiny room with the door closed waiting for her parents to come. There wasn't anyone she wanted to say goodbye too especially since everyone had been looking at her as if she'd lost what was left of her mind. Everyone shook their heads in silence wondering how long it would take before she'd return just as lost as ill as she'd been two months ago. It was exceedingly clear to everyone that two months was not enough time for a full recovery and Ava was tired of ignoring the pointed smiles. So she sat in her room with all her bags stacked by the door and purse in hand patiently waiting. Laura came by yesterday a few minutes before bedtime presumably to apologize but Ava thought it had more to do with gathering intelligence to gossip about during the next days groups. Her parents weren't arriving until eleven and there were two groups that Ava could have attended to pass the time but she knew herself well enough to avoid the temptation. It would be too easy to throw the biggest goodbye fit that the clinic had ever seen and it would have felt wonderful. There was no doubt in her mind that they would deserve it with all their veiled smiles and condescending tone but she respected Dr Martin way too much for that.

It was scary thinking about returning to Springfield and everyone's reactions. It was one thing to say go a little crazy but she had in fact lost her mind and it was never a sure thing that she'd get it back. Most times it was hard enough to keep her eyes from closing in agony and fear. When she left two months ago her body was bruised not only from her violent and premature labor but also with dying dreams and expectations. The moment she stepped foot off the plane everything she'd stressed an entire year trying to hold together would meet her head on. Two months ago she was Mrs Bill Lewis and mother of his future children but now she was a momentary lapse in judgment. She would be explained as nothing but a youthful indiscretion with a tramp from the wrong side of the tracks. Hell she hadn't even been smart enough to sleep with the right color man to make the plan work. She could imagine him laughing about the situation with friends years later as he drank. Her relationship with the man she'd loved more than any other would be filed under "wild oat" and that nearly broke her heart.

Playing with the absurdly large wedding ring set Ava thought about her eventual meeting with him once she returned. As ashamed as she was to have brought so much attention and embarrassment to Bill in a way she was relieved. He had not loved her and never would and he'd honestly told her as much Max just released them both from a lifetime of heartache. She wasn't looking forward to seeing him again but his face wasn't the one that left her gasping in fear.

By all rights Remy Boudreau should hate her with a burning passion and demand not only recognition of his rights but full custody. Ava would have used his son to trap another man in a contract marriage and if their positions were reversed she would be halfway to any country that didn't recognize united states extradition laws. There would be no one in the entire city that wouldn't think it was wasn't fair and just. There were probably hundreds of people that were lining up to tell the man just that. That he backed off from asserting his rights and allowed her father to step in when Ava ran away was a testament to the man not to their relationship. She'd thrown away his love and affection just as she had tossed Coop away when something better and brighter came along. It was only when things were going badly that she ever gave them a second glance. If it wasn't gold plated and diamond encrusted it didn't count as happiness in her book. But that was then. That was when just the thought of loosing Bill made her abandon her child but she'd changed. So as grateful as she was for Remy's love and concern he wasn't foremost in her mind either.

Jeffery was the only man that had never left her and never would. Even before they built their relationship he was always someone she could depend on without really analyzing why. Crystal Peralta raised her alone and while there were times that she'd wondered about her father she hadn't missed him. Her life with her mother was filled with love and support and she'd never needed or wanted more. It was only with Crystal's death that Ava considered having a man to give her away at a wedding or teaching her how to drive but mostly she'd ached for her mother. She still did but the ache eased and didn't seem so raw anymore. Olivia told her soon after discovering their link that her father committed horrible and heinous crimes and at the time she'd thought the spew of hatred was intended only to cause her pain. Yet even now so many years later it was hard to recreate that frightful scene. Jeffery had only cared and protected her even before they'd realized it was his obligation. So holding her head in her open hands she wondered if Jeffery could forgive her for not giving Max what he'd always given effortlessly.

"Do you mind if I come in" Dr Martin asked from the doorway. Looking up Ava could almost imagine situations where their shared past could be overcome and some type of future created. Intellectually she knew that Dr Martin would never be her friend and she could never invite the woman down to Springfield to spend a few days relaxing at the Beacon. Ava was her patient and the doctor must have hundreds of love sick head cases running around trying to build on the illusion of transference. But it didn't make it any easier and she would miss the doctor's smile more than she was comfortable admitting. If it were anyone else Ava might have reacted with anger and rebellion since she knew her attraction couldn't be anything but obvious to the other woman. How dare the bitch make her fall in lust with her knowing full well it was just a figment of her unconscious mind she might have thought. However there was something about the other woman that made you look past even that. This is going to be harder than I thought Ava mumbled to herself.

"Excuse me? Is there something wrong Ava?" Dr Martin asked coming into the room and placed her hands on Ava's shoulder.

Standing up Ava shook her head trying clear it. "No. I'm just starting to nod off I guess. My mom called about thirty minutes ago and said they were on their way.

"Wow. So I guess this is almost the end of your lovely stay at Basset" Dr Martin said flashing a bright and expressive smile Ava's way. Laughing to herself Ava tried to tell herself that the other woman wasn't just talking to a patient. She tried to believe that the other woman actually looked forward to their meetings and would miss Ava just as she much as she missed the doctor. It wasn't easy though. She's probably just double checking some list so if I off myself in a few days she won't get sued Ava thought with a sigh. "Hey what's going on here? I thought you were so ready to go home that you couldn't even attend one final stress management session" Dr Martin asked as she was sitting down on the bed. Shit. There is no way that I'm going to start crying and become a basket case right before I get out of here. "Ava?"

"What? I'm not allowed to feel a little weird about leaving? I mean yeah I want to go. I miss my life and I want to be the mother that Max deserves"

"But?"

"But. But I was safe here. If I had a bad day I just bitched to you and hid under the covers but once I leave here"

"Hey you aren't going to be all alone out there Ava. Your mother and father will be there to support you. And I truly believe that you and Dr Richardson will be able to work through whatever issues that might arise"

"Sure" Ava said and then walked over towards her bags to resort through them.

"Is there something else you want to talk about? If something is bothering you?"

"You know what it's not your job anymore. If I have anything to work out I'll just have to write it down for my meeting with the doctor next week."

Getting up Dr Martin walked towards Ava "Hey" but once it was clear that the other woman wasn't going to respond she touched her arm before continuing. "Hey Ava, yes you are going to be working with someone else. Someone that I picked because she and I have similar styles by the way"

"It's fine I should never attempt to have conversations after skipping a meal" Ava laughed trying to forestall whatever the other woman might say in response. The last thing she needed was Dr Martin not thinking she was ready to go home. "I'm sorry"

"You do know that you can contact me if you ever get in crisis. I'm not abandoning you I just think that"

Oh Cripes this cannot turn into a mini session Ava thought and almost made a comment just to distract the other woman but as she looked into the blue eyes she found herself doing the unthinkable, telling the truth. "I guess I'm just going to miss you"

"Ava I will miss you as well. I have really enjoyed our sessions. I don't think I've ever laughed as much at work before"

"So maybe you should be paying me?"

"Yeah right. Anyway its fine to miss each other but this is what's best right? You still want to go right"

"Yes! I'll miss you but not enough to stay here" Ava laughed and watched the other woman nodding in agreement before sighing again.

"What?"

"You know me better than anyone in the world. I mean I feel like you're my best friend. I mean I know that you aren't. People probably say this to you all the time and you have listen to my blah blah blah yada yada yada. I know that this is just a job and you can't be friends with your patients but I'm going to miss talking to you everyday"

"You're right I can't be your friend but there are so many patients that I have counted down the days until they left. So trust me when I say that I don't tell everyone I'll miss them. Helping you was my job but getting to know you has been my pleasure. I will see you at our final meeting when your parents arrive"

Two hours later Ava sat in first class holding hands with her parents as she sat between them. Olivia was the first one through the door and the older woman pulled Ava into one of the tightest hugs she'd ever been blessed to have. Her mother's head fit easily in the crook of her neck and she was mildly surprised to feel wetness seeping from Olivia onto her skin. After holding her for several minutes Olivia took her face in her hands and kissed her forehead, eyes, and nose before giving her a final kiss on the lips. The blatant intimacy from a woman who had once considered her an enemy startled her and her own tears sprouted. Looking up into Jeffrey's eyes over Olivia's head she saw his soft and easy smile. It was the smile she gave him his first father's day gift, open but shy. Olivia refused to give up her place but did relent to stepping to the side as her arms wrapped around Ava's waist. Jeffery hugged her just as hard and spilt his own tears but laid his kiss tenderly on her temple.

The three of them talked for an hour with the doctor and at times Ava had to hold back from screaming and cursing at the top of her lungs. From the amused sparkle in Dr Martin's eyes she could tell the doctor knew just how close she was from throwing a fit. They were talking about her as if she weren't there or as if she were some retard they had to manage but she kept reminding herself that they were just worried and that worry would ease in time. Going off would only make them more concerned and after a while she just concentrated on how cute Dr Martin was since everyone was ignoring her although she was the fucking patient.

Jeffery left as soon as they got to the airport and promised to check on her and Max later in the day. Leaning the passenger seat back and covering her eyes Ava could feel her mother analyzing her. "Just say it" she said without any heat or irritation in her voice. It was easy because she didn't feel anything but ready to start the rest of her life. Yes she was worried about Max and she and Olivia had spent much of the past two weeks discussing these in depth but for some reason she knew Max wasn't her mother's concern. "Mom you can tell me anything. What's up?" Ava asked turning her head to the other woman and felt Olivia griping her hand. "Mom?"

"There is something I didn't want to talk to you about over the phone. Something that I hope doesn't bother you because since you and Max are going to be so close"

"Okay?" Ava said raising a sculpted eyebrow "so?"

"Ava I'm. I'm. Well. Okay so"

"Mom just tell me Jesus. What happened to the woman who blurted out she was dying while I was getting my nails painted" Ava joked trying to put her mother at ease.

"I'm in love"

"Oh. Okay? So whose the new guy? Or is it one of the old guys? Is that why you're so nervous because you're going back after Josh?"

"No. No"

"Okay, Jeffrey?"

"Hell NO!" Olivia yelled cutting her eyes at her daughter with visible heat.

"Fine then who? I mean who else could make you so nervous except" and then Ava raised her seat and pointed an accusing finger at her mother "Oh My God You and Remy!"

"What! You can't be serious?"

"Just because I don't want to continue a relationship with my son's father doesn't give you the okay to make your own move. At least I asked if it was okay before I started in with Bill. Jesus Mother!"

"Ava! AVA! There is no way in hell I would date much less fall in love with the father of my grandchild. What kind of person do you take me for? Fuck"

"oh. Well then what the fuck are you going on and on about. I don't care who you are in love with as long as they love you back and your happy. Goodness"

"Natalia"

"Natalia? Natalia Rivera?"

"Natalia Maria Rivera"

"Sweet Jesus"

"You're telling me"