This is real. This can't be real. It's not the first time I've seen her like this. Granted, we were usually in our house not my dad's but still.

"I have an idea." I watched her with cautious eyes as she stood up from the floor.

Guilt surged through me as she winced from our...encounter, earlier. It didn't matter if I questioned if she was real, any of this was real. I will always feel guilty for hurting her in any form.

I shut my eyes as pain ripped through them. It was a familiar pain. The kind you get when you go from utter darkness to bright light.

"Now, the light is here and I'm still here." She spoke with both conviction and confusion in her voice.

She didn't understand what she was saying but she knew she needed me to believe it. And I want to. God, I want to. But every time I have in the past it was ripped away before I could feel her presences. But this feels different.

Do I dare do this to myself for the millionth time? Every time I get to this point, she disappears and I'm left to remember that she died. That I let her die. But this time feels different.

"Felicity."

She started walking towards me and I waited for her to fade away like she had so many times before.

She didn't. I let myself actually look at her as she approached slowly. She looks different. Her hair is shorter than I remember. Her frame was much smaller than I remember as well. But it was her eyes that tore at the vacant place in my chest. They looked battle-worn in a way they weren't before. We had fought together and killed together. That had taken its toll on both of us. But her eyes were reflecting a much strenuous battle, an emotional war. These aren't the same eyes that'd haunted me in the darkness for years.

"Oliver, I can't even begin to imagine what've you been through. And I'm not here to force you to talk about it. I just want to be here with you." Felicity explained, her voice sent waves of serenity crashing over me.

By now, she was standing in front of me. Blue eyes boring into blue eyes. I felt her searching my eyes and soul for something. What, I don't know. But she must have found it because she raised her small hand, the one that used to hold her engagement ring, and placed it on the side of my face in reassurance.

"I'm here." She whispered.

I closed my eyes and leaned into her. The feeling of her touch was like coming home. It had always been that way. The whirlwind of emotions is sparked in me is more than I can sort. It'd brought with it an avalanche of memories that I shoved away during the two years I'd been captured.

I opened my eyes to see her still watching me. Then simultaneously two things happened that took it away. I saw a flicker of fear and regret flash in her eyes and I remembered something my captor said. Not only are they alive but they left you here. They know you're alive and they just….don't care. I saw the image he'd shown me of Felicity and her boyfriend, Dick. She may be here but she'd rather be there and it was only a matter of time before she'd leave. She'd go home to him.

I stepped back from her spoke, "You should go."

She looked taken aback by my words but held her position.

"No. I shouldn't." She replied.

"I'm sure you need to get home to your boyfriend." I challenged.

She went to speak but stopped herself. After taking a moment to collect her thoughts she asked, "How'd you know about him?"

"Really? That's the best you could come up with?" I asked.

I could feel it happening. The thing that would happen when I'd spent hours in the lightroom. It's like I'd split in two. In this state, I didn't feel the pain anymore. It's like the physical part of me and the others would detach.

"Yes. Don't answer my question with a question."

"It's not important. I know."

"Oliver, I -"

"You can leave. You've fulfilled your obligation. I'm home. So, go."

Why is this happening now? It's almost like the opposite of what typically happens. My physical self is slipping from my emotional self.

"I'm not leaving you."

"Why not? It wouldn't be the first time." I accused.

It's done.

"What is that supposed to mean?" She demanded.

"You know what it means." I retorted.

Am I being an asshole right now? Yes. I can't make it stop. It's like my mind is spinning with all these thoughts, emotions and memories and it won't stop.

"I thought you were dead. They told me you were dead. I buried you. I grieved you." She shot back as she began to pace.

"Bullshit."

"What?!"

"Bullshit! How long was I 'dead' before you started fucking that asshole."

"Oliver Jonas! You do not talk to me that way! What the fuck is wrong with you?!" She exploded walking towards me.

"I don't know, Felicity. What could possibly be wrong with me? Other than the fact that two years ago I was captured trying to give my unit a fighting chance at survival only to find out you were all killed in that goddamn explosion. Spent two fucking years being tortured in every way imaginable. Until three days ago when the sadistic asshole who was holding me prisoner released me. He showed me pictures of all of you happy and alive. You all knew I was alive and none of you bother to find me! You left me there!"

It was all coming out and I couldn't stop it. I feel like I'm out of body watching this all take place.

I ripped my shirt over my head and yelled, "You let this happen. Why should I want you to be here? Why should I want to go home?"

I heard her intake of breath and the door swung open with a thud. I turned to the sound and saw Rene standing just inside the room, his pistol aimed at my heart. Behind him was my father, worry engraved on his face.

"Son." My father spoke as if he was heartbroken and scared at once.

I felt whole again as if I could finally see and control what I was doing and saying. I looked towards where Felicity had been and saw her standing there with horror in her eyes.

Was she scared of me? Of course, she was. I felt the words I'd yelled at her moment ago hit me with a crushing weight.

I turned back to my dad, his expression hadn't changed and Rene's gun was still aimed at me. I wish I could pull the trigger for him.

"I...I'm sorry," I said. I moved and everyone reacted. It was as if they didn't know what I was going to do but they all expected it to be bad.

I kept moving though. I walked towards Rene, Dad and my exit.

I have to get out of here.

"Oliver!" Felicity called out when I was out of the room and I began to run.