Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, nor do I own Project Runway, America's Next Top Model or the show Big Bang Theory. Although I would die a happy girl if I had my own Koothrappoli.
After a little prodding from her mom Bella had made an appointment to see a therapist. After one session Bella had an earth shattering revelation. Her reluctance to let go of Jacob was hindering not only her healing process but the kids as well. Once she got home that afternoon she started to clear out Jacob's half of the closet. She set his brown leather jacket aside because she knew that John would want it before moving to his dresser. She nearly lost it when she opened the top drawer. His cologne had spilled over everything in the drawer and the smell now permeated the entire room. She moved quickly to the window to air out room before deciding to go down to his office to clear it out. Cleaning out his desk was a lot easier than she had thought it would be. There wasn't much in the drawers but the desk top was like a shrine to his family. Pictures of the two of them together, the kids and both their families were on display. She counted ten 8x10 picture frames in all. She decided to leave them there since this would be her home office.
Once she had cleared the office of Jacob's stamp she felt a little better. She made her way back upstairs hoping that the smell of Drakkar Noir was somewhat gone. The room smelled of the outdoors and she sighed in relief. She had expected this to be a lot harder than it was. What the therapist had said made sense: Jacob had been gone for almost two months and it was time that Bella moved on for her and the kids sakes.
She'd made the right decision by sending the kids to Leah and Clay's for the weekend. With Adam off at college and now that the youngest of their three other children was well out of her baby and toddler years Leah was looking for a way to fulfill her need to nurture.
Leah and Clay's two youngest children were the same ages as Kyla and Matt but Austin and Celeste were completely different than their cousins. Austin had aspirations of playing football when he started high school that fall and was very outgoing while Kyla was a self-proclaimed nerd who had a mouth and knew how to use it. Celeste was a sweet natured timid girl who shied away from being around Matt at all times.
Bella could always count on Leah and Clay when she needed them. Like when they were younger, Clay and Leah didn't live far from Bella. They were less than ten minutes away whenever Bella needed them. Bella had depended on the two of them more than needed in the weeks since losing Jacob and she needed to stop herself before it became a habit.
With the house completely quiet and no kids calling for her every five minutes Bella finished cleaning the house and had loaded the things to be donated in her car before nightfall. She had saved a few things that she knew the kids would want and all of the pictures of Jacob except for a choice few that she'd kept on her dresser and nightstand were now on the mantle in the living room.
She felt better now that she'd gotten the hardest part of the grieving process out of the way with very few tears. She could now move towards getting better and moving on once and for all.
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Quil had understood when Bella told him that she needed space while she cleared Jacob's things from the house. He han't expected her to show up at his house with a box of Jacob's things that she thought that he might want on Saturday but he had been grateful. He smiled when he saw the baseball Jacob had caught when they were kids and had gotten signed by the manager of the Mariners. That had been one of Jacob's most prized possessions. There were a few pictures of him and Jacob through the years along with a ticket stub to a concert that he and Embry had taken Jacob to for his twenty-first birthday.
"Thank you," he said with a sad smile.
"I know it isn't much, but Jake wasn't the type to hang onto something unless it really meant something to him.," she said apologetically.
"This, is great. I always wondered what happened to this," he said holding up the baseball in it's glass case.
"He kept it in his office. I can't make myself go through his garage. It's been closed up ever since he got sick," she said sadly.
" Do you still get calls from people asking for him?"
"Not as much."
For the first month there had been an onslaught of calls coming in from people who were needing their cars worked on. Bella had finally stopped answering the phone unless she knew the number and had changed the message on the answering machine to let people know that Jacob had passed. The calls stopped coming not long after that.
"I've got a box for Embry in the trunk. Do you think you could give it to him?"
"Sure."
"I tried to get in touch with him this morning but he's not answering his phone."
"He's camping with Paul and Jared this weekend."
"Oh, well that explains that," she said with a ragged laugh.
"Did you leave the kids home alone?"
"They're at Leah's until tomorrow. They aren't going to like that I emptied the house without them," she said, worrying her bottom lip.
Quil pulled her to him and she rested her head on his shoulder. She had done a very brave thing, something that he had been waiting weeks for her to do. He hadn't had to box up Claire's things because she had done it herself but if he had been put in Bella's position he didn't think he would have been able to do it on his own. She had the kids to think about and take care of. He was glad that she was taking a few days for herself.
XXXX
Since Bella had the house to herself for the weekend Sue had invited her over for dinner so she wouldn't have to cook.
"I was going to order a pizza and watch what I want on TV for a change," she objected with a light laugh.
"You can do that here. I'll banish your dad and Ty so that we can have a girls night in. I've got some Project Runway episodes that I haven't watched on the DVR and your dad just bought the newest season of Big Bang Theory. We can even invite Leah."
"And leave Clay with all nine kids?" Bella asked, amused.
"Why not?"
"Alright, you talked me into a Big Bang marathon."
"I'll see you at six."
After she ended the call she went back to what she was doing. On the drive home from Quil's she decided that it was time to make one of her dreams a reality. She wanted to put a cookbook together of simple, easy recipes that anyone could make for a large family such as hers. She had been pouring over her cooking binders for almost an hour and she'd already found over three dozen recipes that she could use.
Putting together a cookbook was something that she had wanted to do for years but had put it off. Now was as good of a time as any to do it. She planned to make enough to sell at the store and she hoped that people would enjoy them. Her friends and family had been encouraging her to do something like this for years. It was time to take her love of cooking and share it with others.
XXXX
Charlie answered the door with Tyson standing behind him, peeking around their dad's leg.
"Where, Xander?" he asked her, looking up at her with innocent eyes.
"He's with Lee Lee and Clay tonight, sorry buddy," Bella said, ruffling his hair as she passed over the threshold.
"You'll bring him next time?"
"Yes, I'll bring him next time," she promised sincerely.
"Pizza's on the table and Sue and Leah are in the living room," Charlie said after pulling her in for a hug.
Tyson hugged their legs tightly and didn't let go until Charlie picked him up. Tyson had Charlie's hazel eyes and his mom's dirty blonde hair. His smile reminded her of her Grandpa Swans and his energetic nature that had been inherited from his mom kept everyone on their toes. It was obvious that he was going to be tall like Charlie.
Bella grabbed a plateful of pizza before heading into the living room where Sue and Leah were watching Project Runway. The three of them only watched the show to mock the absurd, outlandish outfits that people created, the same way that they enjoyed watching America's Next Top Model to poke fun at the girls who freaked out over the smallest things. Charlie considered what they did mean but they didn't care because they liked laughing when people on TV did ridiculous/stupid things.
They ended up watching the first two discs of the Big Bang Theory season before Leah said that she had to go home. Clay had texted her about an out of control squabble between Catelyn and Austin and she wanted to go home before it escalated into something major. Sue tried to talk Bella into staying the night but she refused. She wanted one more night of uninterrupted sleep before Leah brought the kids back the next morning. She wouldn't get the sleep she wanted if she stayed, not if Tyson had anything to say about it.
She was in bed by midnight and the sound of Leah pulling up woke her the next morning. She had enough time to pull a pair of jeans on before the kids came through the front door. She met them at the bottom of the stairs with a welcome home hug for Alexander and to take Summer from Leah.
"Where's Dad's shoes and jacket?" Matt asked, hanging up his own jacket and toeing off his shoes by the door.
"I donated them to charity," Bella announced.
Josh, John and Kyla gave her cautious looks as they followed their younger brother's lead.
"Since Daddy isn't here and we don't need a lot of his things I gave them to people who would need them. I saved some things that I thought you guys would like to have," she said gently.
"Oh, okay," Matt said with a nod.
He made his way upstairs with Alexander following close behind him.
"Ky, go and lay her down," John said, gesturing to the baby.
"But I want to talk to Mom," she argued.
"I'll talk to you later, do as your brother asked," Bella said handing her the sleeping baby.
Josh waited until Kyla was out of earshot before saying anything else.
"We could have helped you," he broached.
"I wanted to do it myself. I saved his leather jacket for you, John."
"His brown motorcycle one?" he questioned.
She nodded and he seemed to accept her peace offering. Jacob had promised him that jacket and she was going to honor it. She had things for the other kids but the jacket was something special to John. She would need their help explaining why Jacob's things were gone to the two younger ones when the time came and she would ask them to go through the garage when the time came. They would tackle one obstacle at a time.
