Author's notes: Don't asked about errors you might find in here. I just done this for fun and thought this idea was funny.

Yes, this is another humors tell. Also I 'm not much of a shipper unless it's cannon or platonic, but whatever hints of shipping is here is made for humor sake. Hope you guys like this and hope you guys have a good Valentine's Day, more so then the characters in this story.


"Hey Stan?" Kyle greeted as his other friends walked towards the blue-knit hat wearer.

"Oh hey guys."

"What's wrong dude?"

"Yeah, look like you gotten the shit kicked out you?" Cartman added in.

Stand sigh before responding. "It's just that, it's Wendy."

"Whoa, don't tell us she's plain on breaking up with you?"

"Breaking up?" Kenny muffled through parka in a perplexed tone.

"What? No, that's not it. It's that we've hanging out a little too much. She follows me everywhere, even what outside of the boy's bathroom and now she's been sending me texts every five seconds." It was this moment that Stan's pone started to go off. He brought it out of his pocket, checked it and groaned.

"Whoa dude what's wrong?" questioned Kyle as Kenny and Cartman watched with concerned looks.

"It's Wendy. She send me another text, saying she's coming this way."

"Whoa dude, you got to ditch her."

"Yeah; she's turning into level four clinger. You got to break up with her." Eric added in for the second time.

Stan took another sigh. "I 'm not ditching her. I just want her to get her off my back for a while."

"Oh, I got an idea!" Kenny spoke.

"Wow, you do?" At that moment, Stan froze and tensed up as he heard an all too familiar footsteps creeping closer like a stalker. "Okay, hurry and tell me before gets here?" Stan whispered as started too panic. The parka wearer took off his hood. He brought his terrified friend's face towards his and they locked lips.

Stan looked on with wide-eyes as he and his friend continue to keep mouth contact. Stan didn't know what make of this scene; I mean how he, his friend is just randomly making out with him could. At the corner of his eye, Stan saw Wendy, aw struck and in tears. As he watched girlfriend ran away, he pulled Kenny off of him and said "What the f****!" in irritated tone. "God damn it Kenny, that's not what I meant!"

As the blond clad boy watched his friend gag and spit multiple times, Kyle and Cartman looked on, making mental note not to come to Kenny for solutions to their love troubles.