*Disclaimer: I, Takeuchi Naoko, do hereby bequeath all rights to
my manga and anime series, Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon, to the
author. Hehe...now how's that for a piece of fiction? I don't
own BSSM. In matter of fact, I don't own anything except my
imagination.

Medical Miracle
Chapter 7: Doubt Resolved
By: The Rose Society
Rating: PG-13
email: EtrlSlrMn@aol.com

After having lunch with Ami and Usagi, Mamoru completed
his shift and drove back to his apartment in a mental haze. When
he finally entered his dark and empty apartment, Mamoru, in a
manner completely alien to his neat nature, absentmindedly tossed
his keys and dropped his briefcase onto the floor. Tossing his
shoes against each other at the entryway, he didn't even bother
to slip on some slippers but instead, hazily made his way across
the room and promptly plopped onto his couch.

"Oh Kami-sama. What happened?" Mamoru whispered. "How can
I love her? I don't have time for such feelings. What have I
done?" His head dropped into his hands. "Have I made the biggest
mistake in my life? I don't know anything about her. I don't even
know if I can trust my feelings for her. How can I all of a
sudden be in love with her?"

'Oh please. You loved her ever since day one. You were
just too stubborn to admit it.' retorted the irritated Voice.

'He wasn't ready to admit it yet back then!' answered an
indignant Self-Control. 'He loved her so much that to trust her
with his heart would be suicide. What if she rejected him? She
HATED him. Every time they met, he called her Odango Atama and
she yelled at him for calling her names. Never had he given her
any indication that he might have seen her more than a young girl
to tease. If he had admitted his feelings, she would have thought
it was a joke. She would have crushed Mamoru in his one moment of
weakness.'

Clutching his head in despair, Mamoru said yet again,
"I love her...I love her...Kami-sama, tastukete..."

'Oh please. Usagi, hurt someone? That's impossible.'
Lifting its chin arrogantly, the Voice gave Self-Control a
haughty look. 'It's Mamoru-baka's fault for not realizing that
he felt more for Usagi. He lied to himself about his feelings.
And who's fault was it that he wasn't ready to admit to his own
feelings?' The Voice cast a baleful look towards Self-Control.

Self-Control bounded up to the Voice and held up a fist
menacingly. 'And exactly what are you insinuating?'

"I love her...I love her...Honto ne?"

Snorting, the Voice completely ignored Self-Control's
threat. 'I'm not insinuating anything. I'm downright saying it.
If the man had not been so cold and icy, he might have been able
to learn how to love someone. That way, Usagi would be with us
right now, soothing Mamoru's fears. Instead, here we are,
arguing while he sits on the couch, staring at the ground,
muttering like an baka!'

"I love her...I love her..."

'URUSAI!!!' both Self-Control and the Voice screamed.

Pausing his litany, Mamoru blinked. Then resumed his
babbling.

'He's got it bad...' said Self-Control with a slight
shake of it's head.

'Ano...aren't you supposed to be doing something about
him right now?' queried the Voice. 'You know, make him stop
mumbling like an crazy man and take some action.'

'Hmph. Me? You were the one to get us into this whole
mess in the first place. You wanted him to have feelings for
Usagi. Therefore, it's your fault he lost his mind.'
Self-Control crossed its arms. 'The question is, what are YOU
going to do about it?'

The Voice stood in mute contemplation. After a few
moments, -"I love her...I love her...Kami-sama..." 'URUSAI!!!'-
the Voice began to grin madly. 'I know exactly what we can do.'

Self-Control groaned. 'You can't do that. It's
forbidden.'

The Voice's grin slipped a millimeter. 'Then what
about...'

'Iie. Forbidden.'

'I know!'

'Iie. Forbidden.'

Frustrated, the Voice threw up its hands in defeat.
'Then tell me, Oh Wise One, what would you propose?' the Voice
gritted out between clenched teeth.

Trying hard not to let its triumph show too plainly,
Self-Control turned to look at the holographic projection of
Mamoru, still sitting on his couch babbling incoherently.
'First some logical contemplation. From there, I'll see if I
should allow this nonsense to continue or not.'

Sanity slowly returning, Mamoru tried to analyze his
feelings. 'When I held her in my arms, it felt so right. But I
decided long ago not to allow feelings stand in the way of my
career. What went wrong? Do I really love Usagi?' Old images
appeared in Mamoru's mind. His surprise when chibi Usagi handed
him the beautiful red rose, the friendly warmth of her hug, the
shock that ran through him when she kissed him and how she knew
exactly how lonely he felt, even though sadness seemed so alien
to the bouncing beam of sunshine. Another slew of images popped
into Mamoru's mind of Usagi, flushing in anger, yelling at him,
ordering him to stop calling her Odango Atama, shooting steam
out of her ears as she concentrated on beating the Sailor V
arcade game in frustration, scowling at him, grinning like mad
at Motoki, drooling with hearts in her eyes at a HUGE chocolate
sundae and plowing into him at light speed, apologizing
profusely and then taking off again at superhuman speeds. Even
now, Usagi made the most compassionate volunteer he had ever
met. She knew how to handle patients. From the oldest and
crankiest to the youngest and brattiest, all the patients seem
to perk up whenever Usagi visited their room. Even the little
pink haired demon seemed to listen to Usagi. Mamoru smiled at
his memories. Yes, even back when he first met her, Mamoru
somehow knew that Usagi would be the girl that would change his
world. Perhaps that is why he tried so hard to push her away.

'Every time I'm near her, it seems my head falls into
confusion.' Wearing little halos, the Voice and Self-Control
smiled innocently at Mamoru. 'I can't help but let my feelings
get the best of me. Just today I wanted to eat with her and Ami.
I have never wanted to be with other people before. I have always
tried to avoid others. But now, Usagi has me wanting to spend
time with her, to make her smile and laugh. I must be in love
with her.' Mamoru gave a shaky smile. 'It's real. I do love her.'

Self-Control smiled. 'Mamoru deserves to be in love.
Perhaps, after all this time, he's finally ready to accept his
feelings. I won't stop him.'

The Voice laughed. 'Like you can stop him. That man is
hopelessly in love.' At Self-Control's glare, the Voice hastily
tried to restore their uneasy truce. 'Gomen, gomen. Who cares
about details? What matters now is that Mamoru is in love and
it's time for us to win Usagi's heart.' Self-Control smiled.
It seemed like the Voice finally learned how to be logical and
calm. 'And THEN...' the Voice continued with a lecherous smirk,
'We'll get to kiss her sweet red lips, touch her fair and silky
skin, and even...'

Self-Control facefaulted. 'Spoke too soon.' As the Voice
let it's imagination run away, Self-Control was slowly putting
the Voice into a catapult. 'Again, it's up to me to go ahead
and keep control around here.'

'We'll spend our honeymoon in Italy, although...hehe...
I don't think we'll be getting out to see the sights, just the
inside of the hotel rOOOOMM-'. With that, Self-Control sent the
Voice flying into the air. With a smiled of satisfaction,
Self-Control gave a little V-for-victory sign. 'Mission
accomplished.'

'But I don't think my little Odango knows how I feel.'
Mamoru sighed. 'First, I need to become Usagi-chan's good
friend. Then, I will have to...' -big gulp- 'ask her out on a
date.' Mamoru stood up and walked toward his balcony. Sliding
open the door, Mamoru leaned on the railing, letting the cool
breeze play with his midnight tresses. His blue eyes swept over
the view of nighttime Tokyo without registering anything. The
sounds of the traffic below faded into the background as Mamoru
contemplated exactly how he should try to get to know Usagi
better. The first thing he had to do was to find out what
happened to Usagi during the years he was at Harvard. What made
his Odango so sad?

*The Next Day*

That morning, Mamoru worked as quickly as he could
through his rounds. He had to get in contact with Ami before
Usagi came or else he would lose his chance to question the
blue haired young woman in private. Giving the older patient a
quick bow, Mamoru rushed off to the nurses station in order to
find Ami. Harassing the staid old nurse until she reluctantly
gave Mamoru the information he requested, Mamoru began to jog
toward the pink haired demon's hospital room. Arriving just in
time to see Ami gently closing the door, Mamoru impatiently
tapped Ami on the shoulder.

"Ano, Ami-san, gomen nasai for bothering you, demo may
I speak with you for a moment?"

Shocked that Mamoru voluntarily approached her, Ami
paused before giving a hesitant nod. "Is there a problem,
Chiba-san?"

Shaking his head, Mamoru directed Ami toward his office.
"Iie, Ami-san. I just wanted to...'catch up' on old times. I've
been gone for so long and I was hoping that you could tell me
all that has happened during those years I was in America. I
hope that you don't mind." Mamoru might have been an expert at
hiding his feelings but even with his expertise, Ami still
caught his tiny pause.

'Strange...Chiba-san never talked to me about anything
before. We weren't even close before he left for Harvard. There
should be no reason why he would want to talk to me. Why does
he suddenly want to 'catch up'?' Ami sneaked a glance at Mamoru's
face. 'Odd. He looks so happy now. It's as if he's settled a few
inner demons. What could have happened in these few days? He's
been acting strange ever since yesterday when Usagi-chan...'
Mentally, Ami reeled back. 'Usagi-chan...yesterday...strange...
Kami-sama! Chiba-san likes Usagi-chan.' Ami's sharp mind
quickly ran over the recent occurrences between Mamoru and Usagi.
'Kami-sama...he is in love with her. What shall I do? This can't
be happening.'

"Ami-san..." Mamoru waved his hand in front of Ami's
face. "Ami-san, snap out of it."

Startled, Ami reddened. "Gomen nasai, Chiba-san. I
haven't heard a word that you've said."

Mamoru chuckled. "That's obvious, Ami-san. I called
your name five times. As I said before, 'We're here.'" said
Mamoru as he pointed at his office door. "You must have been
thinking about something very interesting." Blushing even more,
Ami entered Mamoru's office and sat gratefully on the chair he
indicated. When Mamoru sat in his chair and faced Ami, he
finally noticed that the young woman seemed rather uncomfortable.

"Ami-san, I hope that you are not still angry with me
for calling you that name. I assure you that I had no idea that
it would hurt you," sputtered Mamoru as he ran a nervous hand
though his hair. Even though he finally admitted that he had
fallen in love, Mamoru still had no clue as to how to talk to a
woman. Heck, he had no idea how to talk to anyone beyond the
superficial 'how do you do?'. Again, Mamoru marveled at how
Usagi seemed to make him calmer, more adept at handling social
situations (although at first she did infuriate him to no end...
but let's get back to the sorry, ne?).

Before Mamoru could begin to hyperventilate, Ami spoke.
"Iie, Chiba-san. You already apologized for that yesterday at
lunch. You didn't know how I hated that nickname so you were
not at fault. Let us put that business behind us, shall we?"
Mamoru returned Ami's warm smile.

"Hai, Ami-san. And please, call me Mamoru. After all,
we are old acquaintances and this is a private conversation."

Nodding, Ami's face regained it's normal hue. "Hai,
Mamoru-san. That is true we are old acquaintances. Demo..."
Ami paused, unsure of how to proceed. "Mamoru-san, I don't
quite see what things we can 'catch-up' on if we were never
really close friends before you left for Harvard. Gomen nasai
if I offend you, demo I must admit that I am at a loss as to
why you all of a sudden consider us close friends."

Mamoru looked at Ami sheepishly. "I guess I should
have expected to be caught by you, Ami-san. Hai, I know that
this turn of events is quite sudden. Demo, my intentions are
honest. I truly do want to become your friend. As you probably
know..." Mamoru broke eye contact and began to stare at his
desk. "I never have had many friends. I've never wanted to
become close to other people. I don't want to make the same
mistake again." At this point, Mamoru raised his head to look
at Ami.

Ami looked into Mamoru's deep blue eyes. In them,
she could see honesty, loneliness and vulnerability struggle
against his cold and proud nature. What choice did she have?
The man deserved to have some friends in his life. And perhaps,
if Ami became one of his friends, she could stop him from
making the mistake of falling for Usagi. "Hai, I agree. Friends
are what make life worth living, Mamoru-san. I'm glad that you
are willing to count me as one of your friends."

Relaxing, Mamoru gave Ami a relieved smile. "Arigato
gozaimasu, Ami-san. You don't know what this means to me. So,
now that we are friends, why don't we catch-up on things?"

Ami grew cautious but steeled her face so as to not
betray any of her suspicions. "What would you like to talk
about, Mamoru-san?"

Mamoru nervously rubbed his hands together. 'How do
I get her to talk about Usagi without blowing my cover?' he
pondered. "Ano...Ami-san. It seems that you and Usagi-san are
really good friends. Have you two been friends for long?"

"Hai, Mamoru-san. Ever since middle school."

"Shinji nai? Middle school? That is a long time to be
friends."

Ami gave a small smile. "Hai, Mamoru-san. I consider
Usagi-chan to be my best friend."

Mamoru gave an inward cheer. 'Almost there...' "Ano,
Ami-san, I have noticed that Usagi-san has been rather sad
lately. Since you consider her your best friend, perhaps you
would know the cause of her melancholy."

At the mention of Usagi's sadness, Ami's inner resolve
cracked. "Gomen, Mamoru-san, demo I have no idea what you are
talking about." Ami could not meet Mamoru's piercing gaze.

"Shinji nai, Ami-san. Gomen nasai, demo I believe that
you are lying to me." Mamoru leaned forward in his chair.
"Ami-san, Usagi-san is my friend now. She has done a wonderful
thing for me and I wish to return that favor by making her
happy again. Unless I find out the cause of her sadness, I can
not help her. Onegai, Ami-san, tell me." Mamoru's voice began
to falter. "As her friend, you must see the deaden look that
haunts Usagi-san's eyes. Don't you want to help as well?"

Ami's resolve crumbled. She whispered, "Hai, I want
to help." Her hands balled into fists as she clenched her
skirt. "Demo I can't. No one can. Me, Naru-chan, Rei-chan,
Minako-chan, Mako-chan, Haruka-san, Michiru-san, Setsuna-san,
Hotaru-san...we have all tried. Demo it does not help. It
is like she is dead. Kami-sama." Ami's voice had risen to a
scream as tears streamed down her face. Her eyes blazed as she
looked into Mamoru's startled eyes. "Mamoru-san, do not accuse
us of not trying. Kami-sama knows that these past years have
not been easy for Usagi-chan. Demo do not think that we, as her
friends, have not tried our hardest to help her. Naru-chan has
spoken for hours with Usagi-chan. Haruka-san and Michiru-san
took her on a trip through Europe. In her spare time,
Setsuna-san designed an entire new wardrobe for Usagi-chan.
Hotaru-san took Usagi on a shopping spree in Beverly Hills in
the United States. Minako-chan even got Usagi a part in a movie
filmed in Hollywood. Rei-chan meditated with Usagi for a whole
week, uninterrupted. Mako-chan cooked all of Usagi-chan's
favorite foods. I have racked my brain, trying to figure out
how I can help her. Demo nothing works. Do you know what it
feels like for the nine of us to watch Usagi-chan slowly slip
away from us? You could not possibly begin to understand the
hell that the last four years have been." By this time, Ami
had jumped out of her seat and slammed her hands on top of
Mamoru's desk.

Reeling back from the force of Ami's anger, Mamoru
tried to process what Ami had been saying. "Gomen nasai
Ami-san for accusing you of not helping Usagi-san out." Ami
regained her composure and sat back down. "I did not mean to
anger you demo I wanted to know what has happened to Usagi-san
so badly that I did not watch my words. Boku o yuruse."

Unclenching her hands, Ami could only stare at the
floor in her embarrassment. She hardly ever lost her composure
like that. "Gomen nasai, Mamoru-san. It was my fault for
yelling at you. I had no right."

Mamoru shook his head in disagreement. "Iie, Ami-san.
You had every right. Please, don't argue with me." Ami closed
her mouth in mid-protest. "Now, Ami-san, would you please
inform me as to why Usagi-san is so unhappy and has been so
for four years?"

Sighing, Ami slumped in her chair. "Ano...Mamoru-san,
I do not think that I should be the one to tell you about
Usagi-chan. Shouldn't you ask Usagi-chan herself?"

This time it was Mamoru's turn to squirm. "Hehe..."
Mamoru averted his eyes. "I...I asked demo Usagi-san did not
want to tell me. She said, 'Omoide ga ippai.' Demo, I need to
know, Ami-san."

Torn, Ami weighed her decision carefully in her mind.
If she told Mamoru, he might be able to think of a way to
cheer Usagi up. But if she did tell him, would that not betray
her friend's feelings? Most likely if Mamoru got involved,
he might fall deeper for Usagi. But then if Ami did not tell
him, Mamoru might ask Usagi again, hurting her more. Also, a
lot of people knew about Usagi's past and Mamoru would be able
to ask one of them. There really was no point in hiding the
truth from Mamoru. Ami had reached her decision. Lifting her
head, Ami gave Mamoru a resolved look. "Hai, Mamoru-san. I
will tell you all that has happened to Usagi-chan."

Translations:

ano- um...
kami-sama- God
tastukete- save me
honto ne- really?
urusai- shut up
shinji nai- I don't believe it
omoide ga ippai- so many memories
boku o yuruse- please forgive me

Author Notes:

::bows deeply:: Gomen nasai minna. I'm really sorry
about the long delay but I had to move out of the dorms and
into the summer house. And then I had summer school...
::sniff sniff:: I couldn't go online at the house either
^_^! But now, I'm back. I'm sure that all of you are so
very pleased (j/p).
Until the next chapter...

~The moonlight carries the message of love.~
~Tsuki no hikari wa ai no message.~