"Who do you live with?"
"My best friend," Troy tells me as he grabs a sweatshirt from the couch and tosses it over to the sofa chair.
His place is clean. Like, sure, it's a bit messy, but it doesn't look dirty. It looks clean. And nice. And it might be sexist, but it definitely doesn't look like two guys live here, which is kind of why I asked. Maybe he lives with some girl? A girl best friend? I don't know. But I like it. It's cozy in here.
He picked up a cup from the coffee table and ran it to the kitchen really quick.
And when he came back, he shot me a small smile and a laugh. "My mom put this whole thing together. There's no way Ben and I could do this."
"Right, Ben," I've met him a couple times. At the bar and at campus. I should have known they lived together. "Where is he?"
"LA," he tells me, "he went home for the weekend."
Oh okay. That's cool. I don't really say anything. I put my book and notebook down on the coffee table and then take a look around. It seems like this is his parents house or something. There's pictures, there's drapes, nice couches, a nice TV. But he did say his mom did the whole thing so it makes sense.
He kind of just watched as I made my way around the living room, but if anyone knows me, they know I love looking at pictures.
"My mom framed every single picture and made us put it up," Troy laughs, "you don't typically see that in a guy's apartment, especially in college."
"I like it," I turn around from picture up a picture of him and some girl, "is this your sister?"
He shakes his head as he comes over to me. It looks like I maybe shouldn't have asked because he has this blank look on his face and the smile he had from laughing faded. He doesn't look upset or anything... just blank. "Nah, that's not my sister, this is my sister."
He picked up a picture that was a few over and handed it to me.
Okay, now I see it. The girl in the picture I picked up had blue eyes and that was about it so that's why I asked. But no, this girl definitely looks like him.
"Oh," I say, putting the picture I picked up down, "sorry, I just assumed... blue eyes."
"No, yeah, we get that a lot, actually," he says, bringing his hand to the back of his neck and scratching it before he put the picture of him and his sister down, "but no, this is actually my best friend. Becca. I've known her since I was, like, eight years old. Like you and Cooper."
Oh, like me and Cooper. "And how long have you been in love with her?"
Troy snaps his head and gives me a weird look. "What?"
What? Oh, um, I thought he picked up on my joking tone. Guess not? Maybe he is secretly in love with her or something. "Oh, um, no, I just... when I first told you Cooper and I were best friends, you assumed I was in love with him so I just... is that a stupid question? Sorry. Let's get to work yeah?"
"Right, sorry," he shakes his head, "no, but um, no, you're not wrong, I guess. But it's nothing now. She has a boyfriend of, like, four years."
"Oh, sorry. If I knew, I wouldn't have brought it up," I tell him, feeling bad.
"No, it's whatever. I'm over it. I was in love with her," he laughs, "but that's over with. It was useless."
Okay, well, I feel a bit better. But that must suck.
Being in love with your best friend and they have a boyfriend. A serious boyfriend of, like, four years. Wow. Kind of heartbreaking.
That's why I'm so, so glad Cooper and I don't have those romantic feelings between us. Because we obviously wouldn't be able to do anything about it if they were there because we wouldn't want to lose the friendship. So then we'd have to see the other date and it would just be a disaster and ugh, no.
But I just don't get why she wouldn't date Troy? Because she doesn't want to lose the friendship?
I mean, if I were this Becca girl, I'd say screw the friendship because Troy is so fucking hot, I don't think I'd be able to deal.
"Well, maybe in the future..." I try to be optimistic for him.
"Nah," he laughs as he walks over to the couch and takes a seat, "no. She's been with this guy for years. They're in love. I like him. He's a great guy."
Anyway, enough of that. I go over to the couch and take a seat next to him and immediately open my book.
Having to learn 20 images is not going to be easy.
"We only need to know the name of the painting, who painted it and the date it was painted, right?" Troy asks as he opens his notebook.
"I think so, yeah," I nod, not even looking at him, too distracted by my phone at the moment.
In the last five minutes that I've checked my phone, I've received 20 text messages. 19 were in a group text between my mom, dad, sister, brother and I, but the other one was from someone that I just want out of my life for good now. Yep, you guessed it... fucking Chris Matthews.
Again, I know this is weird, but please wish your sister a happy birthday for me.
What the fuck. First of all, my sister hates him as much as me right now so no, she won't appreciate that. Second of all, today isn't my sister's birthday. It's next week. So, uh, minus another ten points for getting that wrong.
Ugh. It's so weird how much I despise him now. When even after everything, I didn't hate him. I secretly wished we could have worked things out.
But now, it's just, I don't want to talk to him, I don't want to see him. I just don't want anything. Even though we didn't really have closure because I fucking screamed my head off and then he left and that was that, I still just don't think there's anything to talk about. He's still with that girl, he still did what he did to me and that's it. Case closed. I don't need or want Chris Matthews in my life. It's just too much for me.
"You okay?" I hear Troy ask me.
"Oh, yeah, yeah," I smile at him, put my phone down and open my notebook, "I'm fine."
He gives me this look like maybe he should ask again or ask what's wrong, but I think I'm doing a pretty goo job of hiding it. I don't want to talk about it. Especially to someone that doesn't know me very well. Plus, how obnoxious. Having to hear about some girl's ex boyfriend. Boring.
He shrugs it off and then pulls out the images he printed out and lays them on the table, "pick five we should start with."
"I think these," I pick up the Mona Lisa, The Sistine Chapel, David, The Starry Night and The Last Supper, "these are pretty big, don't you think?"
"Yeah, she'll for sure throw those in there," he agrees.
And then for the next thirty minutes, we went back on forth on memorizing it. It's so much easier when you have someone holding it up for you and squinting their eyes when you're about to get it wrong so you could really think about it and get it right instead. No one else would have patience for this, like Emily or Summer, so I'm glad I can study with someone from the class and knows what it's like and wants to study.
Within an hour, we were able to get these five and a couple more down like nothing. And it felt so good to be able to do that.
And I think we were done for the day. My brain could only take so much.
"I was gonna order a pizza if you wanna stick around for that," he tells me as he gets off the couch and goes to the kitchen, "if you're not busy..."
Oh. I'm not busy at all. And pizza does sound really good. But maybe I shouldn't. I know we're friends, I know he's friends with Cooper and Cooper like loves him and everything, but I don't know. I'm already crushing on him and it's not a good idea. I don't want to crush on anyone right now so maybe I should just leave. But ugh, pizza sounds good and I'm hungry.
So like an idiot, I agree. "Only if you can make half of it Hawaiian?"
"Better yet, I'll make it all," he smiles at me from the kitchen and picks up the menu from whatever pizza place he's ordering it from, "my favorite kind."
"Okay." I turn around and smile to myself and it's really for such a dumb reason. SAME PIZZA TOPPING? I mean, come on, so many people like Hawaiian. But maybe it's because I'm comparing it to people in my life. Chris? Hated it. Hated it so much. Cooper and Emily thinks it's weird. "Thanks."
He called the place and they said it would be here in about 20 minutes, so for those 20 minutes, we watched an episode of Seinfeld.
When the episode was over, Troy flipped through the channels to see what else was on.
"Is it weird being friends with Cooper considering how you two met?" I asked, because I was well... curious.
"It's not weird," he shakes his head, still flipping through the channels. I'm getting a sense he doesn't want to talk about it so I just tell him okay, but then he turns his body towards me and puts down the control. "Callie and I weren't really official. Like, we weren't seeing anyone else but it wasn't this serious thing. She's not too fond of me, but why should that stop us from hanging out? It's not like he has any loyalty to her. Plus, we never really cross paths."
"So you just never go over to their place? I mean, it's, like, Cooper doesn't even have his own apartment. He's always over there. Or over with us..."
He shakes his head, "yeah, no way, Callie hates me. And so he'll just come over if we want to watch a game or drink a beer."
Hmm. I'm curious about why she hates him. Should I ask? He obviously wouldn't bring that up if he cared too much about not telling people why? Right? That's my logic at least. "Why does she hate you?"
"Kind of broke things off abruptly," he shrugs, "yeah, it was fucked up. She didn't think anything was necessarily wrong, but I just wasn't feeling it. And she hated that answer. But I didn't know how else to tell her. I really just wasn't feeling it anymore."
"I think I'd be pissed, too," I spit out even though I shouldn't. He might not give me pizza anymore! "I mean, if I really liked the guy."
"Should I have let it go on for a couple more weeks and in that time, pull away slowly?"
Okay, I see where he's going with this. But I honestly can't speak on behalf of Callie. And I've never been in that position before. "You're right. If you're not feeling it, you're not feeling it. I'm just saying, I could imagine I'd hate you, too. Someone thinking everything's fine, and then they get broken up with."
Troy stayed quiet for a moment, but then a small smile appeared on his face. "It wasn't a cop out. I just couldn't see a future with her and I wasn't going to just keep hanging out for the sake of having some girl."
Oh. Wow. Did he just admit that he pretty much doesn't want some girl just for the action? He totally did, right?
"I get it," I give him a smile so he knows I'm not on Callie's side, "I know Callie can be a bit... dramatic. Did she try to hit you?"
"No, actually," he laughs, "we were in public when I told her."
I laughed and then sat back on the couch. "That was probably for the best."
Before he could say anything, his phone started ringing so he picked it up. I could see the caller ID. It was Cooper. Speak of the devil, right?
While Troy talked to him on the phone, I got up and went to use the restroom. I drank a whole iced tea before I got here and I'm surprised I haven't had to go. But now... I really, really do. So I made my way over, may have peeked my head inside one of the rooms, and then used it real quick before going back.
"What did he want?" I asked Troy as I sat back on the couch with him.
"Nothing, really. Him and some of the guys are gonna go watch the game at Porters."
"Oh, well, you can go with them. I'll take my pizza to go."
Troy shakes his head as he puts his phone back down on the coffee table. And then the doorbell rang. The pizza was here. Thank God. I'm SO hungry. But before he gets up to grab it, he turns to me and gives me a small smile. "Nah, I told him I was good here."
And just like that, this crush skyrocketed.
Why is this happening?!
"Are you okay?" Summer asks me as I'm laying on the couch under a blanket in the dark.
"I'm fine," I tell her, peeking my head out enough to see her take a seat on the sofa chair diagonal from me, "well, I'm not sure."
Summer rolls her eyes and I'm not sure if she knew I saw that, but I don't hate her for it. Of course she's going to think it's Chris related, but it's totally not. Not this time. And thank God for that. But I'm not sure if this is any better. Crushing on Troy Bolton.
She pretends like she never even rolled her eyes and gives me a small smile. "What's up? Is it something bad?"
"I'd say," I tell her, take a deep breath and then sit up. "I have a crush on someone."
"What?!" Summer's green eyes basically pop out of her head, "are you serious? Who? THIS is why you're laying in the dark on a Saturday morning?"
YES. This is why. I can't. I don't want a crush on someone. It's too soon right? Okay, it's been two months since Chris and I broke up, but we were together for two years. And also, who even knows how Troy feels. If he just sees a friend in me or anything. If he's even looking for a relationship. And I don't want to put myself out there for more disappointment. No way. Rejection sucks.
I throw my head back and groan in frustration. "Troy."
"Troy?" Summer repeats. "Wait. Is he Cooper's friend? The guy that was at his party?"
"Yes," I look at her, "that's him. He's in my Art History class and so, we've become friends and a few days ago, I realized for sure I have a crush on him."
Summer stayed quiet for a moment, I think trying to understand the dilemma. Because who would complain about having a crush on someone as hot as him right? Well, I guess many since they'd all get rejected. I don't know what she's thinking actually. "Oh, wait, does he have a girlfriend?"
I shake my head, "no, he doesn't."
"Then what's the problem?" she gives me a weird look, "I don't understand."
"The problem!? The problem is I have a crush on him, he could not feel the same way and then I'm crushed again."
She rolls her eyes and gets up and comes over to sit at the end of the couch I'm on. "Oh, please, Gabriella. You like this guy that much that if he's not interested in you, you're going to be crushed? Seriously?"
Okay, I'm exaggerating. "No. I'm being dramatic. But I just don't think it's a good idea I'm crushing on him. It's been, like two months. And who even knows if he's interested. And I'm not sure I'm ready to put myself out there... to the possibility of it not working again. I guess that's what I mean."
"I hate Chris because before this, you went in it not giving a shit," she says, "if it didn't work out, it didn't work out. And now you have all these walls up."
"They have to be up," I point out to her, "I don't ever want to go through that again."
"Not every guy is the same, you know," she also points out, "I don't really know this guy, but if you're crushing on him, then he must be great. And plus, he's fucking hot. So just go with it. See what happens. Don't let what happened with Chris hold you back. You'll never meet your husband."
She's right. But still, it's scary. The thought of someone like Troy liking me or whatever is INSANE.
Because he could literally have any girl.
And Callie and I... we're so different. She's a beach babe. Long, blond hair, the bluest of eyes, tan and fit.
So honestly, if that's his type, then I'm out. But it's so hard. I see him in class and he's nice and funny. We walk together after and chat. The other day when we were eating pizza, we didn't even watch TV, we just talked the whole time. He can talk, I can talk and put those two together and it creates conversations for days. Honestly. I'm learning so much about him and I do like him. I think he's so attractive, but he's smart and nice and funny, too. SO fucking funny.
"Just go with it," Summer gets up, "you owe it to yourself."
Maybe she's right. Maybe I should just let this crush happen. Who cares, right?
Easier said than done, though.
