Chapter Eight: They Loved Her
(It's been nearly 8 months since Lisanna's death and Natsu's slowly been pulling away from the rest of the Guild.)
"Where is he?" Lucy grabbed Happy by the scruff of his neck and pulled him up to her eye level.
"Lucy! Let me down!" Happy yowled, blue paws scrabbling at her arm. She hissed and dropped him, luckily he had gotten better control of his wings over the years and he gently floated down to the table. He huffed, "What was that for Luce?!"
"Where is he?" Lucy asked again, the fifteen year old had her hands on her hips.
"I...have to go," Happy said, white feathery wings sprouting from his back and starting to fly away. Right up until Lucy grabbed his tail and yanked him back down to her eye level.
Lucy shoved her face into his, ignoring the tickle of fur. She hissed again, voice low and threatening, "Where is Natsu?"
Happy whined a little at the aggression in her voice. And Lucy let him go with a jerk, guilt flooding her system when she realized how she was acting.
Just like them.
"I'm-I'm sorry," Lucy whispered, sighing roughly as she closed her eyes. Than opened them a moment later, much more composed this time. "It's just—I'm worried about Natsu. He's been...really weird lately. He hasn't even gone off on one of his searches for his dad, not since...not since…"
"Lisanna," Happy finished her trailed off sentence.
Lucy just nodded. She took a deep breath, "But he hasn't been seen at the guild in weeks either. So do you know where he is?"
"No," Happy shook his head. "He hasn't been home in a few days. But I mean—he's fine! He's Natsu!"
"Lisanna was also his best friend," Lucy sighed.
"Hey!"
"Now is not the time," the blonde glared down at him.
Happy gulped, "Sorry Lucy. But I really don't know where he is."
"That's okay," Lucy sighed again. "I think I know where he is."
She scratched the supposed cat behind his ears, fed him some smoked fish as an apology for her rough treatment than made her way to the door.
Lucy wouldn't say she's particularly close with anyone in the guild. Not in a way where she meant she was distant of course. But rather Lucy was something of a floater in the guild. Even in a place where everyone was as tight knit like they were in Fairy Tail, there were still cliques and teams, sometimes these cliques were because of a mutual interest (like Cana, Macao, and Wakaba who were drinking buddies) but more often than not they were also the people you went on missions with too. The God Thunder Tribe were one (bonded by a mutual love, respect and loyalty for Laxus). Team Shadowgear were another (brought together by a painful past that only the three could truly understand). The Strauss siblings were (used to be) one too. And, of course, there was Happy and Natsu, to name a few.
She could join any one of them, and they would never complain. More likely than not, the enthusiasm was real and honest. Still, despite knowing all of this, she never liked to stay for much longer than a mission or two.
She worked well with everybody in Fairy Tail—that's what happened when you were a floater like her, you knew the quirks of people. Though not necessarily the in's and out's of them. She worked well with everybody.
But she wasn't a part of them either.
Going on missions with them—seeing the inside jokes and bone deep comfortableness only made her feel lonely after a while.
Natsu was something of a special case though, the two had always gotten on spectacularly well, even when it seemed he was one stupid comment away from getting his head knocked off his shoulders by Lucy. They worked well together, on and off the field, and when they fought it was like they were of one mind, able to adjust to each other's tactics with just one look, or sometimes, no look at all. Natsu dealt out the full frontal assault, while Lucy watched his back, taking out those who would dare to think because his back was turned to them, it would mean he was open. He watched her front, she watched his back. It was something that worked, and they worked, too well in fact. Members of Fairy Tail liked to joke about them forming their own team one of these days.
None of them seemed to realize how close that joke was to the truth.
Because Natsu had asked, multiple times in fact. Usually after a dangerous or tough mission where they only made it out by the skin of their teeth and their ability to work so well together.
Lucy had always turned him down though. Only her and Mest knew the reason why though. Because whenever she looked at Natsu, in the back of her head, she couldn't help but connect his flames to the same ones that turned her childhood to ash.
"Natsu, you up there?" Lucy called up the giant Magnolia tree that was at the heart of their beloved city. There wasn't a reply, there wasn't a sound either but Lucy knew the magic signatures of all her guildmates. And especially one that was as powerful and all consuming as Natsu's. She sighed, and called up again. "I'm coming up there!"
Still no answer.
With another sigh, she knelt down to retie her shoes—glad that she had chosen to wear sneakers for once—and than started to climb. She grumbled slightly as she did, Lucy might not have liked getting dirty but she never minded it either. Still, this was different from getting dirty from a fight, and getting dirty because you were climbing up a tree where the bark would scratch at your skin, the branches would pull at your hair, and Lucy didn't even want to think about the bugs. It took a bit of climbing, not just because the tree was so large, so there was more space between the branches, but because Natsu had climbed so high.
By the time she found him, Lucy estimated she was only a third of the way from the very top of the tree. Natsu cracked open one dark eye to look at Lucy, than he closed it again when she settled in a branch just a little above than his. Lucy took a moment to study Natsu, stretched out on a tree branch with his hands clasped behind his head as a pillow, face tilted up. You would think he was normal if it wasn't for how still he was, how quiet, how big the bags under his eyes were.
Lucy knew the death of Lisanna hurt the boy, almost as much—if not as much—as it hurt her siblings. There was more than one reason why him and Lucy worked so well together, one of them was how similar they were when you looked below the surface. They were both floaters within the guild, accepted everywhere but belonging nowhere at the same time. For Lucy it was an unconscious choice, an effort to keep her distance when they inevitably find out who she was and left her. For Natsu, it was the fact that a majority of his time was spent out of the guild, far from their town, and looking for his father. Lucy was entirely sure the most time he had ever spent at the guild—or in town—was when Happy was found, having to incubate his egg and help raise him for the first several weeks, made it impossible for him go searching. But, of course, when Happy was grown enough that he didn't need constant supervision anymore, anyone could tell Natsu was once again consumed with the idea of finding his father.
It wasn't long after the guild learned he had set off on one of his adventures again.
It was a topic of frequent discussion and worry when Natsu wasn't around, especially when he was gone longer than a week with no word of how, and where, he was. No matter how powerful Natsu was for his age, no matter how much raw potential he had, it didn't change that he was really just a kid at the end of the day.
Just look at the Strauss', Lucy thought sadly. Mirajane was a S-ranked wizard but grief seemed to have sapped her strength from her, as well as her liveliness.
"Everyone's worried about you," Lucy finally said, after a long silence that slowly turned tense.
Natsu just grunted.
"Even Gray," Lucy said, facing straight ahead but she could see the reaction that garnered from the corner of her eyes. He tensed slightly at the sound of his rival's name, dappled sunlight playing on his face. "But especially Mira and Elfman."
The full body flinch from him would have been impossible to miss even if Lucy had her eyes closed. She could feel the vibrations through the tree, and she could feel the air literally heating up around her.
"She's gone—but you're still here," Lucy said, keeping her voice factual and steady, even as she repeated the same words she told to Elfman months ago. There was a difference here though, Elfman had been drowning under grief and guilt. He needed comfort and reassurance. Natsu though...Natsu was drowning under grief but he didn't need comfort the way Elfman did.
What he needed was an outlet, a way to explode, to let out all these feelings he was no doubt shoving way down deep inside of him. One way Natsu wasn't like her was this—he wasn't one to keep his feelings bottled up. If he was hungry, you knew. If he was happy, you knew. If he was angry, you knew.
Right now, he was hurting. And everyone knew but he refused to acknowledge it.
"Shut up Lucy," his voice had a quiet warning, the beginning of a rumble infused in there.
"I know it hurts but you can't—"
"I said to shut up."
"—keep acting like this. Do you think Lisanna would want you to—"
"How would you know what Lisanna wants?!" Natsu growled, his entire body erupting into flames. Lucy blinked and suddenly she was looking up—rather than down—at Natsu, his eyes like lava pits. The air around her was starting to heat up and the memories of her burning home rose up in her mind, she quickly pushed it out of the way. Now was not the time to have a panic attack. His fists were clenched at his sides, his knuckles bone-white, his dark eyes glaring so hatefully down at her it made her breath catch in her throat, a stutter of fear running through her heart, "How would you know anything about her?! How could you possibly know more about her than I do huh? You think I don't know that she wouldn't want me to mope around?! You think I don't know how worried everyone is about me? You think I don't know that she's—that she's gone and I'm still fucking here?!" Natsu's chest was heaving, little tendrils of fire coming out of his nostrils and mouth. "What could you possibly tell me that I don't already fucking know about this guild?!"
"Than stop acting like a fucking idiot and get your head out of your ass," Lucy snapped, grabbing Natsu by his scarf and pulling him down to her eye level. It was only his dragon slayer reflexes that stopped from him falling out the tree all together. His eyes widened a little, surprise at her foul language dislodging his anger for a moment. Her eyes bored into his but there was no anger there, only a clear understanding. "If you know all this then act like it. Now is not the time to push everyone away Natsu, not when everyone is hurting."
There were a few tense moments of silence as they stared at each other. Lucy's eyes unwavering and set, Natsu's facade slowly crumbling, his pain finally shining through. She yanked on his scarf again and he fell into her arms, feeling the slender but deceptively strong limbs wrap around him. He buried his face into her neck, tears springing into his eyes. She spoke again, her voice softer and more slow, measured, sounding strangely choked. "She's gone but we're here, and nothing can change that Natsu. We're her family—do you really think she would have wanted you to mourn her life or to celebrate it with those closest to her?"
"When family is hurting, that's the time for family to stick together," Natsu cited quietly, quoting what Lisanna had told him years ago on one of the anniversaries of her parents' death.
"Exactly," Lucy nodded, though she wasn't sure what those words meant but they clearly meant something to him. Lucy let him ago and watched as he settled beside her on the branch, a different kind of tension filling his body now. Lucy sighed, kicking her feet slowly. With the sun high above them and coming through the leaves, spraying them in a nonsense pattern, surrounded by a scene of green except for the occasional city sight that broke out between the opening of leaves…
It was easy to pretend they were on a different world. A world where someone like Lucy Heartfilia was allowed to grieve a girl she hadn't—or so she thought—get close to her, but still cared for all the same. Tears welled up in her eyes, her breathing hitched, and her voice trembled when she spoke. Natsu was gracious enough to pretend he didn't notice. "She was gorgeous wasn't she?"
"She was kind," Natsu agreed.
"And strong."
"Loyal."
"Smart."
"She was family."
"I miss her."
"I loved her."
"..."
"..."
"I did too."
AN: I am not one of those authors that is on board the whole Lisanna and Lucy don't get along because...no. Not to mention it's canon that because Lisanna and Lucy Ashley were good friends, Lisanna didn't have to do much acclimating to Lucy when she got back. This is just some good old fashion angst. Fun fact: this chapter was actually supposed to be how Team Natsu started because Lisanna's death pulled them closer together but than this happened instead and I honestly like it much better. But yes, you can count this as the official 'start' of Team Natsu. Also Chapter 11 and 12 will be the start of Phantom Hive Arc!
UPDATE: So I got an anon who pointed out to me that the way Lucy had gone about it could have been seen as rather cold and rude, so I did a quick reread with this in mind and I agreed with them so I changed it a little. That said, guys I'm always up for constructive criticism but there's a difference between constructive criticism and being (in the anon's words) a dick. I'm not perfect and I'm well aware I might not always handle a topic well or even close to good, and I would love to hear your insights on how to fix that. But don't be a fucking dick.
