"There isn't any way to get out of this. Unless you die." Kanda said suddenly, startling the others.
"How do you know?" Allen demanded, unwilling to face it.
"Because I've done this before." Came the cold, emotionless answer.
The trio stared.
Kanda met their gaze coolly, calmly. They could see the truth in his eyes. It was undeniable.
"You were a survivor of a previous programme?" Allen asked the obvious.
Kanda leaned back in his chair. "It was only three years ago." He reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet, flipping to a picture of two young men and passing it to the trio. They stared at it. One of the men was obviously Kanda. The other, they did not know.
"My best friend," Kanda saw their questioning gazes, "Alma Karma. He was the only friend I ever had, and the only one I have ever needed."
"He died in the programme, then?" Lenalee's voice was quiet, full of sympathy.
"I killed him." Kanda said in a tone that could freeze.
"You what?" Allen turned on him, looking furious and disgusted. "You killed your best friend?"
Kanda met his gaze fully and told him straight, "You don't understand anything, so don't even try to chastise me."
Allen dropped his gaze, unable to face Kanda's calm.
Kanda sighed, showing pain and a humane expression for the first time, "We were the last two survivors, and it was already the last day…"
(Flashback)
"Oh god…" Alma groaned. Bodies of their classmates were littered all around them. Kanda helped Alma to sit down on the ground, trying not to aggravate Alma's broken leg.
They both lay down, exhausted. Just at that moment, their collars began beeping. Their gazes met. It was time.
Kanda hugged Alma tightly, the most emotion he had ever shown in his life. Alma hugged him back.
Then a shot rang out.
Kanda gasped and let go of Alma, rolling away and tumbling down the slope. He cupped his stomach, blood dripping from his gaping wound. In Alma's hand was a smoking gun. He had shot Kanda.
Without thinking, Kanda drew his own pistol and fired, nailing Alma right in the chest. Alma's smile, gentle and benign, froze on his face. Then he tumbled down the slope, coming to a halt at the end of the slope.
"Alma!" Kanda shouted, rushing forward despite his wound to lift Alma up. "Oh god…I'm so sorry…This…" He stared down at his best friend, agony written in his face.
Alma smiled again. Pain and love were etched on his face. In a soft voice, he whispered, "Thank you."
Then he was gone.
Allen stared at Kanda, recognizing the pain he felt from the memory. Tears had begun falling down Lenalee's face and she wept in silence. Lavi's face was pale.
Kanda looked at them, "I joined this thing again because I wanted…" His voice trailed off.
"Revenge?" Lavi demanded, looking suddenly angry, "Shouldn't you treasure life and move on instead?"
"I want to know why he said that…Thank you…why did he thank me for that?" Kanda's voice was a whisper.
The anger in Lavi's face drained away, and he looked sorry and sad for Kanda again.
"Does it matter?" Allen's voice was just as soft, "Isn't it most important to just treasure the fact that you are the one who survived, and to go on living? Why risk the life that so many others died for just like that?"
"It matters. He was my only friend. I killed him. I have to know why he said that. No matter what." Kanda's voice was strong, filled with determination.
The trio looked at each other.
There was much more to Yuu Kanda than they knew.
