A/N: Sorry about the wait i've been working really hard writing and re-writing to make this fic the best it can be!

Please leave reviews! :)

One Week Later

I am addicted to Beatrice Prior's lips, and that is all there is to it.

Every second I spend not kissing them is a second wasted.

We are pressed into an alleyway, the sun setting behind us, my hands scandalously squeezing her hips like she is my one life line and I'm about to lose her.

She pulls away from me, her lips still wet from when I'd daringly darted my tongue out to lick them.

"What?" I whisper softly, already leaning my head in to kiss her again but she tilts her head back just a little bit.

"Nothing. We just jumped right into this, I didn't even have time to ask you how your day was."

I pause for a moment, thinking.

My day was the same as it always is.

I woke up, I avoided Marcus and then I went to the factionless sector.

It hardly seems important right now.

I shrug a little.

"It didn't really start until I met up with you."

She smiles a little and I watch as a blush creeps onto her cheeks.

"Oh yeah? So how's your day going now?"

I shake my head a little.

"You tell me." I whisper and then press my lips against hers again, one hand reaching up to touch her cheek and then slide into her hair, clutching a hand full.

We continue to kiss like that for a long time, or it least it felt like a long time until I pulled away.

Then it felt like not enough time at all.

The alleyway is darkening as the sun goes down and I know without checking the time that it's time to send Beatrice home.

I let out a disappointed little sigh.

"You need to go home. You'll be late for dinner."

She looks up at me and nods a little.

"I know, but I don't want to."

I lean forward and press my lips against her forehead.

"Come with me," She begs in a soft breathy voice.

"To dinner? I've been to your house every night this week." I shake my head a little.

"I want your parents to think I'm courting you…not stalking you."

She frowns a little bit.

"I know…but…dinner is just so boring without you."

I touch my palms to her shoulders.

"Give it a few days. Okay?"

She nods reluctantly.

"Okay. Fine, then will you take me in to dauntless tonight?"

I shake my head no and she lets out a groan.

"Beatrice, it's dangerous."

"So is making out with me in an alleyway. We're not a very cautious couple of people clearly."

"Not tonight." I say firmly.

"When?"

"Beatrice…" I let out a low groan and push myself off of the wall.

"What? You can kiss me and possibly get me into trouble that way but you can't take me into dauntless with you? That doesn't seem fair. You can't just pick and choose when you want to protect me and when you want to put me at risk."

I close my eyes for a moment and then nod.

I love that she can call me out when I'm being ridiculous.

I also hate it.

"Alright. You're right. " I say with a sigh. "I will take you in to dauntless again. Besides, Zeke will probably lose it if he doesn't get to train you some more."

She is smiling though she tries to hide it.

"I like Zeke. He doesn't underestimate me just because I'm a girl like Caleb does."

I nod a little.

"Zeke grew up in dauntless. Girls are equals there." I look over her for a moment.

"…and Zeke sees you the same way that I do. Strong, capable and completely beautiful."

"The last part might be a little biased."

"Sue me."

She shrugs a little bit. "I would, I just don't know any candor." She grins a little bit and I shake my head.

"Go home, Beatrice."

"I'm on it…" She mumbles as she picks up her schoolbag and slings it over her shoulder.

"See you soon." She says softly before she turns and makes her way out of the alleyway towards her house.

It isn't until two days later that I meet Beatrice at the front doors of the school as soon as the final bell rings.

The smile that takes over her face when she sees me is breath taking. I watch as she makes her way towards me and Caleb trails behind her, always watching us so closely.

Mostly it makes me laugh because Caleb has no idea what we do or have done in dark alleyways when no one is looking.

"Tobias." She greets me politely. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"

I hold out a long stem rose out to her.

"I thought I'd stop by and see if I could you walk you home." She takes the rose from me and I turn my gaze to Caleb.

"With your brother's permission and presence, of course."

Caleb rolls his eyes and starts walking quickly ahead of us.

Beatrice smiles up at me.

"He hates being the chaperone but he'll never admit it out loud because it makes him sound selfish."

I watch Caleb's retreating back and let out a long sigh.

"It's going to be hard for him to let you go, I can tell."

"What do you mean?" She asks curiously, looking up at me.

"After your choosing day, when you get married and move out…it's going to be hard for him. He loves you a lot. I can tell. He's just not always sure how to express it."

She takes my hand and I raise my eyebrows in surprise. We shouldn't be touching like this, not while Caleb is watching.

"Maybe that's how it is for your parents too."

I close my eyes for a moment and then shake my head.

"That's really different, Beatrice. I wish it wasn't…but it is."

She let's go of my hand and sighs.

"Have you talked to your mother at all since…?" she trails off.

I shake my head slowly.

"No."

"I'm sorry." She says quietly.

"Don't be. It's no big deal. Listen…" I glance at Caleb still walking a good distance ahead of us.

"I'm going into dauntless tonight, do you want to come?"

"Yes!"

Caleb turns to look back at us curiously at Beatrice's exclaim and she immediately lowers her voice.

"Sorry…" She whispers. "I just mean yes, I want to come."

I nod.

"Okay. I'll see you tonight then."

She nods enthusiastically as we continue the walk to her house, Caleb keeping an even closer eye on us than before.

I'm late when I finally shut my front door quietly behind me and find that Beatrice is already here, waiting for me.

She sits across the street from my house on the cement, her legs spread out in front of her.

As I approach, she starts to stand.

"Finally…I thought you ran into trouble or something."

I shrug.

"Marcus has been going to sleep later than usual. I have to be really careful."

Beatrice lets out a small sigh.

"Stop." I say, slightly annoyed.

"Stop what?" she protests.

"Feeling sorry for me, I can hear it in your sigh."

She rolls her eyes.

"I don't feel sorry for you. I worry about you."

"Well stop worrying about me, then."

"Too late. It comes with the territory of being courted."

I roll my eyes as we start to walk towards the train tracks.

"Is it so awful that I care about you?"

"Not awful, just unwise maybe."

"Okay, that's it. Stop it."

She stops walking in favor of crossing her arms over her chest and staring at me.

"What?"

"Can you just accept the fact that I love you and be happy with that?"

I stare at her for a moment and then run my hands over my face.

"Who says I'm not happy?"

"You do. Every time that you say I shouldn't care about you or that I should pick a faction other than abnegation."

"I just want what's best for you."

"You are what's best for me. My whole world changed the day you walked into it."

I know she's right.

If I want any chance at this relationship succeeding I need to stop subconsciously trying to sabotage it.

"I'm sorry. I'm just not used to having something good in my life. It takes some getting used to."

She doesn't respond but she does continue walking the path to train tracks and I take that as a resolve.

Once we actually reach the tracks it only takes a few minutes for the train to roll by.

I take off at a run and I feel Beatrice's heavy footsteps beside me.

"Do you want help?"

I yell over the roar of the train.

"Do I ever?" She yells back.

I can't help grinning as I grab onto the side of the train compartment and even though she refuses it every time, I still hold a hand out to her to help her on, just in case.

Before we even get to the dauntless training room, I can tell that something is wrong.

The air feels somber and compressed….not the joyous, rambunctious air that it usually is.

If Beatrice feels it too, she doesn't say anything.

When we finally reach the training room, its empty.

Usually Zeke or Shauna and Christina are hanging out waiting for us to show up but today there is no one.

"They probably just didn't expect you to come today." Beatrice says quietly, but I can't shake the sinking feeling in my stomach.

Something is wrong.

"You could train a little on your own, can't you?" Beatrice asks.

I can but training is the last thing on my mind right now.

"I want to try and find Zeke."

Beatrice nods.

"Alright…"

I haven't spent too much time outside of the training room so when we venture out, I have no idea where we're going or where Zeke could possibly be.

I start off in the direction that I have seen Shauna go when she's heading to bed with Beatrice trailing behind me.

When I hear voices, I panic.

We are dressed like dauntless members but anybody actually in dauntless wouldn't buy it for a second.

I duck behind a wall and pull Beatrice with me as the voices come closer.

"I did what I had to do, Max. You told me I had full reign over the initiates—"

"But she passed initiation. What you did it was beyond—"

"She wasn't really dauntless. I gave her a choice. She chose wrong."

"There is a huge difference between giving someone a choice and setting someone up to fail, Eric."

I can hear Beatrice breathing beside me so I gently cover her mouth with my hand.

Nothing can give us away if the people in the hall are who I think they are.

The notorious Eric and the current dauntless leader, Max.

"Jeanine said that I did the right thing. Maybe you should take it up with her."

"Jeanine isn't the leader of this faction, Eric. Let us not forget that."

Eric lets out a laugh that doesn't sound one ounce Joyous.

"Yeah, leadership of this faction might be changing hands very soon if you don't jump on board with this. Stand behind me, Max, get the rest of them on board or you might find yourself out of a job."

We listen as a pair of footsteps make it's way down the hall.

Moments later, the other pair follows suit.

I take my hand from Beatrice's mouth and she looks up at me, concern etched on her face.

"What the hell happened?"

I shake my head slowly.

"I have no idea, but I have to find Zeke."

I need to make sure that he is okay.

I need to make sure that my friends, who have helped me so much are okay.

I take Beatrice's hand and eventually we find ourselves lost.

"Don't you know where Zeke goes to sleep?"

I shake my head.

"No. The only time we've interacted has been in the training room, if he's not there, I don't know where else he'd be—"

"Looking for Zeke?"

I turn my head quickly and find myself looking at a girl that I'd only met once before.

She was on the train the first night I ever came to dauntless and her name is Marlene.

"Yes. Marlene, right?"

She nods a little.

"I'm guessing you're the stiff he won't ever shut up about, seeing as I don't recognize you."

I nod a little.

"It's really dangerous for you to be here right now. It wasn't the best of days."

"I'm sensing that." I say slowly. "What happened?"

"First things first. We should find Zeke."

She starts walking and I follow her without a second though, Beatrice on my heels.

She leads down a few hallways and then eventually we reach an apartment.

"Zeke and Shauna live here, well mostly Zeke but Shauna never stays anywhere else."

She knocks lightly on the door and we only have to wait a few moments before it swings open.

As I look around the tiny apartment I find myself slightly shocked by how many people are inside.

Al is here along with Uriah and Will, all of whom I'd only ever met that first night on the train with Marlene.

They are all passing a bottle of amber liquid around.

Zeke looks up at the doorway and spots me but he doesn't smile as usual.

"Stiff. Beatrice." He says quietly. "I didn't know you were coming today."

He seems lost, I've never seen him this way and it's slightly unnerving.

"Yeah, your poor little trainee's were wondering around the compound completely lost. You really need to keep an eye on these two with Eric on the rampage."

Zeke nods a little bit.

"It's probably a good idea if you guys didn't come for awhile."

The bottle makes it's way to him and he takes a long drink before passing it to Shauna, who has tears streaming down her cheeks.

"Why? What's going on?" I ask staring around at them all.

Shauna sniffles a little bit.

"It's Christina." She says quietly.

Will closes his eyes when Shauna says her names.

"What happened?" I press.

Uriah looks up at me.

"We lost her."

I shake my head, not quite understanding.

"What do you mean?"

Shauna shakes her head slowly.

"Eric…" She starts bug can't finish.

Al looks up at us, his shoulders slumped.

"Someone picked a fight with her. Some dauntless-born girl…" He trails off and Uriah passes him the bottle and he takes a long drink from it.

"In dauntless you don't back down from a fight and with Eric's new rules, you never ever walk away." Zeke says quietly.

"She walked away because the girl broke her rib."

Beatrice winces beside me and I take her hand.

"Eric didn't like it so he…he held her over the chasm." Shauna whispers.

I shake my head a little.

"Is she okay?"

She has to be okay.

She just has to.

I knew her, I talked to her, she was a friend.

Zeke shakes his head.

"Her fingers slipped on the railing." Al hands him the bottle and he downs whatever's left of it and Shauna opens up another.

"…To Christina." Shauna mumbles and hands the bottle to me.

I take it and stare down into the bottle for a moment and then bring it to my lips and take a swig.

"To Christina." I whisper, my throat still burning from the alcohol.

"He held her over the chasm?" Beatrice whispers like if she says the words any louder she might shatter something.

"This isn't because of the fight." Will says quietly. "This is because she wouldn't give him the time of day."

Zeke lets out a small sigh.

"Will—"

"It is! He tried to get her to go out with him multiple times and every time she turned him down things just got worse for her. It was bullshit."

"Well yeah. The girl that picked a fight with her, Dana…." Uriah shakes his head. "I know her. She didn't have a problem with Christina. It's obvious that Eric sent her after her on purpose. He picked someone bigger that he knew Christina wouldn't be able to fight off so that he would have a reason to 'teach her a lesson'."

"That's cruel." Beatrice whispers beside me. I turn a little to look at her and I'm surprised that the bottle has made it's way to her hands.

She takes a swig and then passes it on.

I don't blame her.

This situation is hard to grasp.

"That's Eric." Will whispers.

"To Christina." Al says and we all mimic him.

An hour and a half later we are all exceptionally drunk. Shauna is passed out on Zeke's shoulder and he's nodding off as well.

Will left earlier claiming he needed to be alone for awhile.

Al, Marlene and Uriah are in the other room, talking in loud, drunk voices.

Beatrice and I are sitting on Zeke's bed doing exactly what we always do when we have time alone together.

Kissing.

Beatrice pulls away, chewing on her bottom lip.

"I feel guilty…"

I nod a little bit.

"I know…I do too." All I feel is guilt and a light buzz moving through my veins.

"…but I think Christina would've wanted us to go on as normally as possible."

Beatrice nods a little bit.

"I didn't know her all that well but she was nice to me when I met her." Beatrice is quiet for a long time.

"I don't know anything about death. Is that weird?"

I raise my eyebrows at her.

"I think you're drunk." I say quietly.

"I am, but the question still makes sense."

"No, it isn't weird. You've never had to deal with death. It makes sense that you don't know anything about it."

"I don't want to die."

I stare at her for a long moment and then shake my head slowly.

"You're not going to. I would never let that happen. Why would you say something like that?"

She shrugs her shoulders a little.

"I don't know. This whole 'Christina' thing is really messing with my head."

I lean forward and press a kiss to her forehead.

"You're safe with me." I whisper.

She wraps her arms around my neck and presses her lips to mine again.

She presses herself against me, one hand moving up and under my t-shirt.

I pull away quickly and she stares at me, disappointed, breathing hard.

"Why do you always do that?"

"Do what?"

"Pull away when I try to make things…more intimate." She blushes at the end of her sentence.

I know the reason, but I don't know how to put it into words.

I am so afraid of love that it almost cripples me.

I've never had it, I don't know how to navigate, the closer I become to Beatrice, the more I'm terrified.

I shake my head quickly.

"It's not you. You're wonderful."

"Then what is it?" She presses.

"I…I don't want things to go to fast. We're still abnegation, Beatrice and I want to do things right by you. I want to marry you."

"I know that but it's something else, I can tell."

I let out a small sigh.

"I told you before, you scare me."

"Why?"

I don't respond to her, but I don't have to. She reacts to my unspoken words anyway.

"Tobias. You deserve to be loved."

I close my eyes and let her words wash over me.

"You deserve to be loved and taken care of and cherished and—"

"Stop."

"No. I will not stop saying nice things to you. You deserve nice things to be said to you."

I stare at her for a moment and every emotion I have ever felt about her comes rushing all at me at once and then I realize I cannot go back to my father's house.

I have to leave.

Tonight.

With Beatrice.

"Runaway with me." I whisper.

"What?"

"Yes. Why wait for another year for choosing day when we can just go now and be..." I trail off for a moment.

"Be what? Factionless? Tobias, we can't do that."

"Why not?"

She shakes her head.

"Because we need a faction that's just the way the world is. I cannot be one of those people that my mother helps everyday. I just can't. We have to wait." She takes my hand and squeezes it.

"We'll wait, and the second, I mean the second my blood touches those grey stones we'll get married. We'll move in together and we will have a perfect abnegation life, Tobias. I promise."

"I can't wait, Beatrice."

"You have to." She breathes. "Please."

"I can't go back there. I just…"

"Hey…hey…" She presses her hand to my cheek. "You can do this. You can. You're strong enough to defend yourself now. Stay on the straight and narrow and if for whatever reason he tries anything…fight back."

She's right.

I know she is.

Leaving now doesn't make any sense, but that doesn't change how badly I want to.

"Okay. We'll wait."

She nods a little both hands rubbing my cheeks lightly.

"I love you, Tobias Eaton." She whispers and I know it with every fiber of my being even when she doesn't say it.

I just have to hold on to that for another year.

One more year.