Hey guys! So, some of you know I lost internet connection a couple of days ago, luckily, it came back today of it's own accord. Let's hope it sticks around now eh? ;) Still got the engineer coming out Friday just to be on the safe side.
Anyhoo, I had a chapter finished and ready for posting. Not sure what's going on but these chapters are getting long...(I think I'm just desperate to have Sebastian show up).
Thanks as always for the great response, I LOVE reading your comments so keep em coming, you guys are awesome.
Enjoy the chapter :)
CHAPTER EIGHT
By the time glee gets out, Kurt has just enough time to sling his stuff in his locker and check his hair, giving it a quick spritz with the hairspray, before heading for his car and driving over to the Lima Bean, just in time, it seems, as Blaine hops out of his mum's Volvo.
"Hey, you made it" he says with a friendly smile, holding the door for Kurt as he walks through it, always a gentleman, Kurt notes. "So, anything fun happening with the New Directions?"
"The usual" Kurt says vaguely, remembering the Rachel/Jesse debacle from the year before and their subsequent 'no fraternising with the enemy' rule. "We're doing a Christmas themed assembly next week though" he replies in mock excitement. As they stand in line, he goes on to tell Blaine all about the horrendous song choices Mr Schue has chosen for the event, figuring it's safe enough territory to cover, even with a lead member of their rival glee club. They're soon at the front of the line and Kurt takes his wallet out ready, not wanting to appear presumptuous.
"Hey no, put it away, I said I'd get these...what're you having?" Blaine asks, slipping out a twenty.
"Hum...I'll have a grande non-fat mocha latte thanks" Kurt says, choosing his usual coffee order despite always promising himself he'll try something new next time. Blaine nods and relays their coffee order to the barrista adding a couple of sticks of biscotti for good measure. When their drinks are ready, they head over to the same table they've occupied every time they've been to the Lima Bean since their very first visit.
"So, go on then, tell me what happened" Blaine asks, dipping his biscotti into his steaming hot cup of medium drip.
"He's gone. My dad went in to see Figgins, Karofsky admitted to picking on me and he's been suspended prior to further investigation by the school board." Blaine nods his head, looking thoughtful. "Blaine? Do you mind if we talk about something else though? I'm kind of tired of discussing Karofsky after the last few days, I'd just rather forget now, is that okay?" Blaine snorts, waving his biscotti around.
"No, it's no problem, I totally understand." They sit in silence for a bit, neither of them really able to think about what to talk about instead. Kurt cups his hands around his drink and stares thoughtfully out of the window, smiling to himself when the other thoughts from last night surface, a warm, tightening sensation pulling inside his belly. He looks over at Blaine from beneath his lashes, trying to imagine them making out or something, the warm fuzzy feeling all but disappearing when a soggy piece of biscuit breaks off and plops into his coffee.
"Ahh darn it!" Blaine frowns as he peers down his coffee, looking sheepishly up at Kurt when he feels him watching. "I hate it when that happens" he mutters. Kurt shrugs sympathetically.
"So...?" he looks at Blaine intent on saying something flirty but it's too hard, nothing springs readily to mind except, "how did your date with Jeremy go the other week, you never said?" Why? He curses himself, why would you ask that? Blaine's eyes grow wide, emphasising the lovely golden honey hue of his irises, his mouth dropping open for a second before snapping shut, the sound audible even in the busy cafe.
"Jeremiah" Blaine corrects him. Kurt smiles tightly and nods. "It was great yeah we uh..." he looks up at Kurt, his brows furrowing, "I'm lying, gosh it was awkward Kurt" he blurts out, blushing, "I thought we'd have loads to talk about, like me and you do but we didn't...urgh, we just sat there for like, five minutes at one point not saying anything." He seems to realise at that point that that's exactly what they'd been doing before the biscotti took a nose dive into Blaine's coffee.
"No Kurt, I know what you're thinking and it's not the same" Blaine tells him, apparently also acquiring psychic powers, "when we're not talking it isn't uncomfortable, at all" he emphasises, "quiet yes but it isn't awkward, it's nice actually. Sitting with Jeremiah was...it was painful" he says, huffing out a sigh.
"You won't be seeing him again then?" Kurt asks, wrinkling his nose as he tries to act sympathetic to Blaine's plight. Truth is, he'd probably feel worse for Blaine if it wasn't for the fact the guy sounded so pretentious when his friend spoke about him.
"Oh no, I'm seeing him again in the New Year, we're meeting at his work so he can use his 50% discount in the sales" Blaine says, excited at the prospect of raiding The Gap, it seems. Well, Kurt certainly isn't jealous of that even if he does sort of envy the guy getting to spend another afternoon with Blaine. Kurt smiles at the other boy as he listens, going over his list of pro's as to why Blaine would make such a great first boyfriend, mentally ticking them off as he thinks of them:
-He's polite, Kurt would have no problem introducing Blaine to his dad as his boyfriend
-He's got lovely warm eyes
-He's always dressed smartly (even if Kurt has only ever seen him in uniform)
-He sings like a dream
-He likes college football so could hold his own with Finn whilst Kurt gets ready for their date
-They're both gay
"Kurt? Are you listening?" Kurt blinks and the list disappears from behind his eyes. He knows there's something missing from the list, something fundamentally important to a relationship, something his brain seems to be resisting telling him but trying to prompt at the same time. Again the memory of a dream flits through his mind but it's not...it's just not tangible enough for him to see or feel.
"Sorry, go on" he smiles at Blaine distractedly.
"I was saying we should learn more about each other, play twenty questions or something, what do you think, it'd be fun right?"
"Sure, though I think twenty might be exhausting so how about we just start with five?" Kurt suggests, clearly liking Blaine's idea if the smile that appears on his face is anything to go by.
"Why not?" Blaine replies, smiling good naturedly. "Okay me first, favourite colour?" Kurt laughs, not even having to think about it.
"That's easy, purple...uhm, favourite music decade?" Blaine's whole face lights up as he grins.
"1980s, you can't beat a little Roxy Music and Brian Ferry is-my-idol" Blaine replied succinctly. "Your least favourite place?"
"The hospital...only bad things happen there" Kurt answers, glancing away when he sees Blaine's sympathetic smile. This is the fifth time they've met for coffee so Blaine's aware by now that Kurt's mom was sick and that Burt was in there for days, following his heart attack, not that long before they met. "Alright, do you know what career you want after college?"
"Gosh, I don't know" Blaine sees the incredulity on Kurt's face. "I'm serious, not everyone is like you and has their dream job mapped out...and the alternatives for it if that doesn't pan out" he says laughing. "I like the idea of teaching, you know, being a mentor for kids and striving for them to be the best in life that they can be but..." he sighs, frowning, "My dad's kinda expecting me to study and go into medicine or business or something else he can brag about to his friends at the country club" he says sighing, "anything to make up for the fact I'm gay really" he adds dejectedly. Kurt hesitates for a second, then decides that it isn't inappropriate to reach over and give his hand a squeeze.
"I'm sure whatever you do you'll make him proud" he says softly, enjoying the warmth of Blaine's hand beneath his fingers for a moment longer before drawing back.
"I wish I could believe that" Blaine replies, attempting a smile. "Now enough of this melancholy, what's your favourite smell?"
"Motor oil" Kurt replies without a moments hesitation. He sees the shock on Blaine's face, the other boy knowing enough about him that he was expecting the words: coffee or Chanel (that his mother used to wear) or the brand of his favourite moisturiser or aftershave but...
"Motor oil, really?" Kurt smiles reminiscently.
"It reminds me of my dad" he says with a shrug. "Okay uhmm...P!nk or Madonna?"
"P!nk" Blaine says with a snort, "she kicks ass". Kurt opens his mouth to reprimand him for his poor choice because, come on, P!nk has some great songs but Madonna's been around for years, but he doesn't get chance as Blaine's phone vibrates on the table and the other boy holds up his finger to Kurt, asking for a second. Kurt nods and smiles, gesturing that he's getting another drink as Blaine answers his call.
"Hey you" Kurt hears in that really warm, friendly tone that he'd hoped Blaine used when only speaking to him...clearly not. He walks away from their table and goes to stand in line, surreptitiously glancing over as he shuffles forward, trying to lip read what Blaine is saying to the person he's speaking to. He's animated and he only seems to break for short periods of time as the other person answers him or asks questions before launching into another long dialogue. That makes Kurt even more curious.
Based on what Blaine just told him, he figures it isn't Jeremiah that's calling so that leaves Blaine's brother Cooper, one of his friends from Dalton, some other person he doesn't know anything about or...
Sebastian
The name springs to the forefront of Kurt's mind before he can stop it and Kurt-just-hates that. He doesn't know why but it's like his subconscious mind is obsessed or something. Ever since he heard the boy mentioned, all those weeks ago in the bathroom at Blaine's school, it's like he wants to know more: mind, body and soul...well mind and soul, Kurt disregards the body part. He gets it though, he's curious because he's heard him mentioned that one time and never again but still, it doesn't explain why he keeps cropping in Kurt's thoughts at the most random of times.
Heck, even last night, just sitting on his bed reading one of those crappy celebrity magazines Carol brought home from the hospital, the ones that post any old BS to suck their readers in, he'd seen a picture of a couple, stumbling from a night club – two men, one of them a rising star in the music industry clinging to the other an 'unknown male' and his first thought had been 'I wonder if that's Sebastian. The thought came from nowhere and it was silly, Kurt knew, to be even thinking about this boy he'd only heard mentioned once and yet he still hadn't been able to stop himself and that...that frustrated him so much.
Kurt knew he was jealous and surprisingly not over the Blaine thing, though he still thought it must be a factor somehow even though his heart was telling him it wasn't. No, he was envious of this boy because it seemed that while he - Kurt – found it a struggle every single day to even be gay, this other boy was navigating his way through relationships like a bulldozer on a building site. What's not frustrating about that? The only guy who's ever paid any attention to him seems to think of locker slamming as a form of courtship.
He glances back over at Blaine to see him throw his head back and laugh, probably the most carefree Kurt has seen him. With a sigh, he turns to the barrista.
"Hi, can I get another grande non-fat mocha latte and a medium drip please...and one of those blueberry muffins" Kurt says as an afterthought, eyeing up the calorie laden confections. "Thanks" he replies as he takes his change. He takes his time grabbing napkins and a wooden stirrer but it pays off because Blaine is off his phone by the time Kurt gets back to the table.
"Everything okay?" Kurt asks, sliding the fresh coffee towards Blaine. His friend nods as he takes off the lid, closing his eyes as he inhales the fresh brewed beverage.
"Hmm thank you...yes, fine...great in fact."
"Oh?" Kurt arches his eyebrow and waits for Blaine to continue but he doesn't, much to Kurt's dismay.
"Uh huh, so where were we?...oh yes, question three, okay uhm...ooh, here's a deep one for you, do you believe in soul-mates?"
"Yes!" Kurt replies without hesitation. Blaine's eyebrows shoot up and he realises it really wasn't the answer the other boy was expecting.
"Really?" Kurt nods his head, smiling thoughtfully to himself, conversations with his mother coming back to the forefront of his mind.. "wow" Blaine says surprise still etched in his features. Kurt shrugs his shoulders and takes a sip of coffee, thinking up his next question for Blaine.
"Why?"
"Sorry?"
"I just...you seem like a realist, I just wondered what it is about the concept of soul-mates that makes you a believer" Blaine admits.
"Is that your 5th question?" Kurt teases.
"Yes" Blaine responds determinedly, "I want to know what makes Kurt Hummel the enigma he is so lets start here" he adds, cupping his chin in his hand, smiling at Kurt encouragingly. Kurt bites his lip, wondering how much, if anything, he should tell Blaine. He decides to go for the bare bones of things, honesty but without revealing secrets.
"I like romance, the touch of the fingertips, that first, all important kiss between yourself and the person you love? I want that" Kurt says honestly, pushing away the stirring that starts inside of him that seems to be telling him he'd like more than that.
His eyes close as he gets a sudden, unexpected picture in his mind of two boys holding each other close, breathlessly kissing as they lie on a bed, their bodies tingling with desire but the image disappears before Kurt really has time to question it. He tries desperately to bring back the remnant of a dream that's playing at the back of his mind, the one that has his stomach twisting and flipping like he's on a rollercoaster but he can't and it remains out of his grasp once more.
"Honestly Blaine, the idea that there's that one special someone out there for each of us appeals to that side of me" he admits. Blaine nods but he looks sceptical.
"Don't you think that's a little unrealistic in this current social climate though?" Kurt's mouth drops open slightly and his brows furrow, puzzled. This can't be right. Here he is thinking Blaine could be the guy for him and here he is, dismissing Kurt's romantic notions with a wave of his hand. To say Kurt is disappointed is an understatement. Blaine seems to realise he's offended Kurt because he reaches across the table and covers his hand with his own, squeezing it lightly.
"I don't mean to knock your romantic notions Kurt, really, I'm just a little shocked that you think that way and yet...I really shouldn't be should I?" Blaine says, staring across the table at him thoughtfully. "I suppose after everything you've been through" he continues, "I expected you to be more jaded and yet you aren't, you've held onto those beliefs and that's...that is really honourable Kurt...crazy" he adds with a light laugh, "but honourable."
Kurt slips his hand out from beneath Blaine's, trying but pretty much failing not to take offence.
"I don't think it's honourable that I want to meet that special someone and spend my life with them. I think it's romantic, true love, that's what I believe in" Kurt says wistful but matter of fact, realising as he cups his hand around his coffee, that Blaine's fingertips were just wrapped around his hand and he'd barely even noticed. He covers his hand again now, expecting to feel them tingle at the memory but it doesn't happen and he can't even say in that moment that he's too disappointed.
"I don't think everyone is lucky enough to find it first time around but I do believe even the hardest to like people in this world have the potential to find their soul-mate...don't you want to?" he asks sincerely. Blaine looks up from where he's been rubbing the rim of his coffee cup, shrugging his shoulders, looking thoughtfully back at Kurt.
"I guess...I mean, yes of course I want to" he says eventually, "I'm just not sure how easy that is given our circumstances" he adds, smiling wryly.
"You mean because we're gay?"
"Well yeah, I mean, we're gay and we live in Ohio. I know there're quite a few out guys at Dalton but still, the odds aren't exactly in our favour are they?" Blaine says, sighing heavily. Kurt wants to remind him that there's a life beyond Dalton but Kurt doesn't get chance as he chuckles, winking at Kurt. "The truth is, right now, I just want to find a boyfriend."
"Oh." Kurt goes back to drinking his coffee, re-evaluating everything he's found himself thinking about Blaine since he met him. He doesn't really have time to dwell on that, or the fact that Blaine just said he's on the lookout for a boyfriend because Blaine is then reminding him that he still has two more questions to ask. Kurt thinks about it, quashing the one question that his brain seems to most want the answer to.
"What's your biggest fear?" Nicely done Kurt, he congratulates himself, mentally giving himself a pat on the back for avoiding that subject.
"I do not want to die a virgin" Blaine replies, shaking his head and looking horrified at the thought.
"W...what?" Not...not a meteorite crashing to earth then or starvation or being the last surviving human being on the planet?
"Oh God, no...I can't believe I just said that" Blaine says, suddenly looking mortified, covering half his face with his hands. Alien invasion, giant spiders pinning you to the ground, kissing Rachel Berry?
"No no, it's fine I just...that's your biggest fear?" Kurt asks incredulously.
"Uhh, yes?" Blaine rubs the back of his neck, grimacing when he sees the judgemental look Kurt is giving him. "I'm such a bad person aren't I?" he groans, his forehead connecting with his folded hands on the table top. Kurt giggles lightly, reaching out and pushes Blaine's head, his fingers threading through his friends hair as he tugs him back up.
"I mean, yeah, now you make me think about it then I guess my biggest fear is like, the apocalypse or being burned alive or getting stuck in an elevator with a playboy model...I'm kidding Kurt" Blaine says chuckling at the last. "But yeah, I just...ungh, sometimes don't you just get this sudden urge to do things with someone?"
Kurt gulps, his cheeks flushing a delicate shade of pink when he imagines himself straddling a boy, grinding himself down against him, kissing him, his body becoming tight and hot as their touch becomes more desperate.
"Kurt?"
"I guess" he blurts out, gulping down some of his coffee. "I don't know, I haven't really thought about it", until I started having sex dreams about...you?, his mind adds, saying what Kurt is reluctant to put into words.
"Well I do, I can't help it..." Blaine says, waving his hand dismissively. "Alright then, question five, fire away."
"Who's Sebastian?" Shit, no...shit! Kurt starts gnawing on his lower lip as soon as the words leave his mouth, glancing worried at Blaine, trying to gauge the other boy's reaction, at the same time, trying to quell the surge he feels in his stomach as he voices that name aloud for the first time. Huh, strange. Blaine himself seems reasonably unfazed by the question, though he's clearly a little surprised.
"How do you know Sebastian?" Kurt closes his eyes, shaking his head, guessing it's now his turn to be embarrassed.
"I don't know him" Kurt clarifies. "I uhm...that first day I met you?..."
"When you were spying" Blaine teases. Kurt rolls his eyes.
"Yes, when I was spying" he clarifies, "I was hiding out in the boys bathroom until the corridors cleared and I..."
"Oh God, you heard that conversation...oh wow, I'm so embarrassed" Blaine says, dropping his head into his hands for the second time that afternoon.
"Why should you be embarrassed, I was the one caught spying...David" Kurt tells him, seeing the questioning look Blaine sends him.
"Well, just to set you straight, they were joking about the teacher, he doesn't...you know, he's not even gay, as for Sebastian..." Kurt leans forward slowly, trying to hide his eagerness. "Sebastian is...it's complicated."
"Complicated how?" Kurt asks, raising his eyebrows in query, his head tilting to one side. Blaine laughs sheepishly, fiddling with his coffee cup.
"He's...you know everyone has that one person that they either wish they could be or wish they could be with? That's how I used to feel about Sebastian" Blaine says with a shrug. "And in my case, it was both of those scenarios" he adds wryly. One word in everything Blaine says jumps out at Kurt...was.
"You don't feel that way any more?" he asks quietly.
"Oh God yeah" Blaine replies instantly, making Kurt's chest tighten with envy, "I wish I could be more like Bas every single day" he continues, the tight feeling slackening inside Kurt the more his friend talks. "He's just so confidant and popular, probably the best looking guy at Dalton" he rambles, reminiscing thoughtfully,..."you know once, we went to the mall for an afternoon, me and Bas and a few of the Warblers...he didn't even have to do anything to anyone and three people came up to him, flirted with him and gave him their numbers...three people Kurt" Blaine reiterates, his expression one of complete and utter awe.
"Sounds amazing" Kurt replies, forcing a smile. He's jealous and he knows it but he won't allow himself to question why.
"He is but he's aware of it, he comes off conceited at times but it's all an act really" Blaine says with a shrug. "Those stories weren't true though, the ones you heard David and Wes saying. He's not a slut, they just like to say he is to make themselves feel better about the fact that he can have any guy he wants whilst they have to perfect their moves to get girlfriends" Blaine says laughing. Kurt joins in, though his laughter is a little weaker, his smile so fake it's beginning to make his cheeks ache.
"So you and him...?"
"No!" Blaine claps a hand over his mouth, his eyes growing wide for a second before softening, like he's thinking of something nice. "I...I used to have a crush, thought myself in love with him at one point but it was more like hero worship than anything I think" Blaine replies, making Kurt think of his own initial feelings for Finn. "He put me straight as soon as he realised, said he valued me as a friend and didn't want to complicate things by dating someone at school because he doesn't want to 'be tied down so young', his words not mine" Blaine adds when he sees Kurt's expression, "and yeah, I guess we became pretty good friends" he finishes.
"So what those guys said about you texting him then, that's just you guys being friends?" Kurt asks shyly. He shouldn't care, he really shouldn't, he should just leave them both alone to live happily ever after together. He can't though, can he, because his damn sub-consciousness won't let him.
"The sexting you mean?" Blaine chuckles, his eyes bright and shiny and warm. "Yeah, that was Bas saying how bored he was and honestly, it was the first I'd heard from him in weeks. We're friends but we aren't like, best friends" he finishes, draining the last of his coffee.
"You don't think those rumours are true then?" Kurt blurts out.
"That he's dated those guys?" Kurt nods. "I don't know, he said he wasn't when I asked him but they are friends. It's not beyond the realms of possibility that Bas could date those guys but really, he's pretty picky" Blaine tells him. "Yeah, those guys are hot, I've seen the pictures but for dating? I've never known Bas like anyone enough to date them."
Kurt wants to ask Blaine what he means by that. Is he saying Sebastian refuses to date because no one is good enough? Or that he doesn't date because he doesn't want a boyfriend? Has he just not found the right guy to date or is Blaine saying Sebastian doesn't date because he does other things...like hooking up with random strangers and famous guys. Kurt can feel his head spinning but he reminds himself it's all good, none of this matters because the main thing is that this Sebastian isn't interested in Blaine and Blaine is no longer interested in Sebastian, leaving the field wide open for him to become Blaine's first boyfriend. He does have one more question he feels he has to ask though, in order to stop the niggling thoughts.
"So, when do I get to meet this fabulous Sebastian then?" he asks, smiling across the table innocently.
"Huh? Bas?" Kurt nods his head, feeling his stomach flutter. "I doubt you will, at least not before Senior year" Blaine tells him succinctly. He sees the shocked surprise on Kurt's face and frowns. "Didn't I say? He's spending Junior year living with his mother in France, he hasn't been in Ohio since the summer."
Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed it, please review and let me know what you think.
x
