Chapter 8
He found Hange Zoe- pardon, Commander Hange Zoe- back at Scouting Legion Headquaters. She was just as anxious as he was (just better at handling it) and had taken to pacing around the lobby, and nearly knocked him down when he walked into the room.
"Levi!" she shouted, bounding up and him and shoving a note of paper in his face. "Explain to me this!"
He glared at her as he snatched over the paper and looked it over. "Well, that was refreshing. No 'hello', no 'where were you', no 'are you ok, Levi?' People are going to start talking."
Hange glared at him and put her hands on her hips, clearly unimpressed. "Do you know what that is? Do you? That, dear captain, is a letter from Commander Pixis of the Garrison practically screaming for your removal as my second in command because you attacked their star witness at the trail!"
Levi slammed the paper down and finally let his temper get the best of him. "Don't you even care that their star witness is Petra Ral? You know, your friend who's supposed to be dead?"
Hange lost it. "Of course I care, you moron!" Her hands flew up into the air and she promptly burst into tears, taking off her glasses and wiping her over and over again with the corner of her shirt. "You think I don't have questions that need answering? Comments I have to make? Concerns for her well-being I need addressed? The last thing I want to hear about right now is me not caring, Levi Ackerman, so you need to shove it where the sun doesn't shine and go take a walk!"
The poor Commander turned away and tried drying her eyes (to preserve what was left of her dignity, Levi thought, assuming she cared if she had any at all), but that failed and she ended up sitting in one of the chairs in the corner weeping all over again. "I don't even know what going on! I have no hypothesizes, no data, not anything to go on, and dead people are coming back to life in the middle of the worst military trial in the history of humanity and I don't even know what to do first!"
Levi frowned, sat down next to her and handed the letter from Pixis back to her. "You don't have to know what to do," he replied bluntly, ignoring her confused look. "Because I do."
Erwin Smith's house wasn't far from headquarters. In fact, it was only a couple miles from the place. Ever since Erwin had run afoul with the Military Police and been accused of murder he'd kept his distance from public life, even though he'd lost since rid himself of the charges. Still, Levi visited on occasion (though it was rare these days) and knew exactly how to get there. To his surprise Hange did too, but he knew than to ask a question he didn't want to know the answer to and steered clear of that conversation. He marched right on up to Erwin's doorstep and slammed his fist on it three times.
"Erwin open up, I know you're in there!" Levi yelled at the top of his lungs, not caring who heard him. "You only have one arm old man, but you're not deaf and disabled!"
Right on cue the door swung open and Erwin appeared, raising an amused bushy eyebrow. "Old man?" he chuckled, letting them both in. "You've come up with better insults than that, Levi."
Hange laughed, but Levi didn't crack and smile. He walked right on in and stood in the center of the foyer, crossing his arms and scowling. "We need to talk. Now." The smile on Erwin's face died instantly, and he ushered them into a seat in his living room. Hange sat down on the couch, but Levi remained exactly where he was. Erwin did as well. "What about?"
Levi hesitated and set his jaw, swallowing hard. "Petra Ral."
That stopped Erwin cold. The older man looked visibly shaken and his skin paled several shades, but he covered it with a faked expression of reverie. "Ah, Petra Ral. The young woman from your first Squad. What about her?"
Levi's face flushed red, and he clenched his fist. "Don't bullshit me Erwin, Pixis told me to come to you specifically. Named you by name, told me to go find you if I wanted answers, which I do, so start talking-"
Erwin raised his hands defensively. "Look Levi, I don't know what you're talking about. Petra Ral's dead-"
"Yes, I'm fully aware of that!" Levi spat bitterly. "But that doesn't explain how Hange and I saw her standing in the middle of a courtroom testifying to the guilt of Indigo Reeves and becoming Commander of the Garrison's Special Ops Squad!"
The former Survey Corps commander paled again, and he turned away, swearing to himself. "I was hoping it wasn't her squad. Damn, this changes things-"
"So you knew?" Hange interjected, her huge brown eyes widening in surprise. "You knew she was alive, and you didn't think enough to tell us?"
"I knew what would happen if I did!" Erwin snapped back defensively. "There's more to this story than both of you realize, and I'll be damned if I decided that peace of mind was worth more than saving another person's life!"
Levi was livid. "I watched her die, Erwin! I heard her neck snapped, saw the blood seeping into the ground! I watched as each and every one of my teammates met horrible deaths in that forest, so cut me some slack if I can't give you to benefit of the doubt!" He spat out each word like it was poisoned, and Hange cringed, but Erwin stood his ground.
"I had orders, Levi," he replied coolly, straightening up rigidly. "I made a promise to her, and I fully intended on keeping it until you two showed up asking questions. What do you want me to say?"
"Answers!" was the first thing out of Hange's mouth. She stood up and walked over to Erwin, a look crossed between sympathy and demand in her eyes. She glared at Levi, who knew better than to blow up at Erwin again, and led him over to the seat beside her. "I think we deserve an explanation, Erwin. Petra was our friend."
Levi stayed where he was, away from the couch and standing with his arms folded across his chest and a scowl on his face. Erwin finally let himself go and slid his hand through his hair. When he spoke his voice was rough-edged and calloused. "What do you want to know?"
"Everything."
He sighed and shook his head. "I don't know where to begin…"
Hange placed a reassuring hand on Erwin's shoulder. "The beginning is good."
Erwin snorted. "The beginning?" He looked at Levi. "You ought to remember the beginning. You were there. You said it yourself, you watched her die, and to some I suppose she did. She's not the person you remember, Levi, you have to understand that-"
Levi's lips curled into a sneer. "Just get to it, old man."
The former Commander sighed. "You now know that Petra Ral didn't die in that forest on your mission with Eren Jaegar. What you don't know is how." He kept his gaze trained on Levi. "She was badly injured when the Female Titan slammed her into that tree, but she wasn't dead. You left her lying there thinking she was, and I don't blame you for that. You retreated back behind Wall Maria after that, mourned the loss of your comrades and that was that. Petra Ral woke up a day later, in Titan infested territory with no memories of who she was, how she got there and why. All she had was a 3DGM and her training, which she still had because only the personal memories were missing, but now the training she received in the Trainee Corps and the experience in the Special Operation Squad were now basic instinct. She didn't know where it came from, but it was there."
"How?" Hange asked, curiously getting the better of her. Erwin shrugged. "None of the doctors could ever figure out why. One of them called it severe retrograde amnesia, which retains knowledge accumulated over the years as well as muscle memory while the actual details of a person's life are missing. Most of the time its temporary, but in rare cases brought along by stress and physical trauma it becomes permanent. Petra Ral is such a rare case."
"How did she get back to Wall Maria?" Levi asked sullenly, eyes narrowing. "She would have had to cross miles of lost territory; no one can survive that alone."
"Maybe that's where the amnesia saved her life," Erwin replied speculatively. "Even without personal memories Petra still knew she was fighting for her life, but she accepted this as normal because it was the first thing she could actively comprehend. I don't know how many Titans she killed in the three days into took for her to fight her way back to Wall Maria, but she took down three in under ten minutes before repelling herself up to the Wall. The Garrison guards found her, recognized her uniform and brought her to a hospital. Commander Pixis was informed of the development, and he summoned me as well. She was out for over 24 hours before we were cleared to interview her."
"Why weren't we informed?" Hange demanded. "We were her friends!"
"And risk traumatizing her further? No, the doctors forbade it. We went in alone. I talked to her, asked her questions, Pixis too. She still looked like a soldier, acted like a soldier, and still wanted to be a soldier. Violence and war was all she knew at that point, I reckoned. Pixis had no qualms with taking her back into the military, as did I, but she told us right off the bat she wasn't going back into the Survey Corps."
Levi's eyes widened, shocked. "What?"
Erwin sighed again. "Levi, she heard the nurses talking long before Pixis and I entered the picture. She knew she was supposed to be dead, thought you had abandoned her, and she wasn't about to let anyone who'd left her to die have the benefit of realizing their mistake." He paused, thinking. "Her first memorable contact with the military was with the Garrison, and she was in no mood to risk her life again- at least, not in the Corps. She saw the Garrison, knew what they stood for, and saw how they helped the people. She thought she could make the world a better place from behind a wall, not standing in front of it, and that was that. Pixis personally made sure she was put through the most rigorous tests in Retraining, and even with that she came out on top. She didn't change her mind once."
Hange's face contorted in confusion. "How in the world did that girl become a captain, then? The Garrison doesn't idly hand out promotions, especially to soldiers with amnesia."
Erwin shrugged. "Ms. Ral had extra training, the high kill count and experience that the Garrison needed. We don't know how many Titans she slaughtered outside of the wall before she came here, but it was enough to convince Pixis that she was over-qualified to take charge of a squad. I helped him create a domestic version of the Special Operations Squad, and Petra headed it up. She's kept herself off the radar ever since, of her own free will. I had nothing to do with that."
He paused, hesitating. "She's good at her job, Levi, Hange, arguably the best field commander the Garrison has to offer-"
Levi slammed his fist down on the table, silencing the former commander at once. "Damnit Erwin, this isn't about the Garrison. You lied to us about everything! You sat back and watched all of us grieve for our fallen comrades, and did nothing! You had no right-!"
"I had every right!" Erwin snapped back, eyes blazing. "What was I supposed to do, go behind her back and let word get out that the mighty Survey Corps left a man behind? In the field, alone, to fend for themselves? Petra Ral's memories might have been erased, but she was still fully conscious and aware of every decision she made! The only reason I didn't tell you this sooner was because she asked me not to, and as a soldier and her superior officer I respected her wishes."
Levi was ready to strangle Erwin, but Hange retrained him- barely. "Levi stop!" she shouted, latching onto his arms and pulling him off of the one-armed man. "He's right! You remember what it was like five years ago! The Survey Corps were about to be disbanded altogether, we were constantly being accused of treason! The moment anyone with any political power found out the Scouts left a soldier out there alone, alive or not, they would have had all of our necks and everyone behind the Walls would have rioted! All that matters is that Petra's alive! Isn't that what you wanted?"
Levi pushed Hange off and didn't attack Erwin again, but the look on his face said it all. "Not this! He should have told us, Hange! They should have told us! We had the right to know!"
He stepped towards Erwin, who was standing as Levi was now and didn't move an inch, even when the shorter man got up in his face. "You're a bastard, Erwin Smith, and a fool. I won't forget thuis, and I sure as hell won't forgive either."
Erwin stood his ground, his eyes narrowing dangerously. Hange stood off to the side watching, and anyone could tell that even with only one arm Erwin could probably toss Levi Ackerman through a wall and not break a sweat. The former soldier's lips pressed into a thin, cold line. "I think you need to leave, Ackerman."
Levi sneered and stepped away, not bothering to make eye contact with a worried Hange and showed himself out. "My thoughts exactly." He glanced back over his shoulder at the nervous woman. "See you back at headquarters."
The door slammed shut behind him.
Erwin's shoulders sagged immediately, and he sank back down onto the couch in exhaustion. Hange went over and curled up beside him, patting him on the shoulder reassuringly. "He'll be fine, Erwin," she consoled him. "He's just taking it a bit hard. You know how he was after his squad was killed. Locked himself up in his office and didn't come out for a week. And that was when he assumed all of them were dead. Imagine having to write a death certificate for your own teammates, after being together for years, and finding out you were wrong and had accidentally left them out there to die. He'll be down for a while, but he'll bounce back, he always does."
Erwin shook his head regretfully. "Not this time."
Hange frowned. "And why not?"
The blonde haired man sighed and shook his head again. "You really had no idea, did you?"
The woman next to him raised an inquisitive eyebrow. "About what? Petra? Yes, I thought we'd made that very clear-"
"No, about Levi." He nodded towards the closed front door. "He blamed himself for her death, even after all these years. He hasn't picked a new second in command from his new squad because he's worried that if he does he's letting the old team go, and thus he's letting her go. That's not something he's ready for, Hange. He might not ever be ready for that."
The female soldier's eyes blinked slowly, widening. "You don't think-"
"I don't think, I know."
"But you never would have allowed it, not even with us-"
"You know that, I know that, even Levi knows that, but that didn't stop him from wishing, and later mourning. He would never have acted, I'm sure of it, but still… I was worried for a while though, even considered mandatory transferring her out. Turned out I didn't need to, but still…"
He let his voice trail off. Hange sighed, and casually rested her head on Erwin's shoulder as they stared into space together. "You might be right," she admitted finally, after a long time. "He probably won't forgive you for that." She paused, thinking, before looking up at Erwin. "What ever happened to that death certificate? You know, the one Levi submitted to you? You must've known by then she was alive, she was only missing four days… Oh God Erwin, you didn't leave her legally dead, did you?"
"Of course not!" Erwin protested at once. "We didn't hide anything from the military, not after we found out she was alive. That report was destroyed the moment I got it into my hands." He let his face fall, and stared out into the flames burning in his fireplace with Hange. "I burned it myself."
Well, there's the logistics of the cover up of Petra's life (and death), and now Levi knows she's alive too. How'd you like that snippet at the end?
So I hear you like 'vulnerable, desperate Levi'. Ok, ok, that's cool. We can do that. It'll have to be a mix though, because I'll get people mad if I portray him as emotional all the time. He's gonna have to be a mix of hopeful and calloused as all get-out, because seriously, he's got to keep running a squad too ya know!
How do ya like them apples, heartlesstheif? I quite enjoy your reviews, do keep them coming! And the rest of you, for that matter. The more the merrier!
R&R!
rellimmes
