AN: Okay, so here it is, the last chapter. Thank you to all who have read and reviewed, who have followed this little tale. I like to hurt the boys, but I would never leave them broken. Many thanks once again to Ridley C. James and Tidia for their creation of this wonderful verse, and the rich characters they developed from Kripke's original masterpiece.
To think it all began with two random names being dropped, and an unexplained silver band. Your genius, ladies, will forever be appreciated!
The Brotherhood AU stories can be found in chronological order at The Hunters Tomb. Make sure to check out LovinDean's (she goes by Lovinjackson here) amazing Brotherhood Tribute video on youtube. I put it on replay and listened as I wrote this last chapter.
SPN FW BR THE TRIAD SPN FW THE BROTHERHOOD
Jim stood at the edge of the pond, patiently waiting for the small boat to make it's way back to shore. He took the time to study the body in the boat. Months, rehab, steady diet, strict exercise routines, and several surgeries later revealed a relatively healthy young man. The sun had kissed his skin, laying the way for the return of the light tan.
To watch him during the day, it was easy to forget the awful events of the almost year before. Dean was back to his usual self, with the exception of the gaping hole Sam had left in his soul. Jim chose to be confident that time would eventually heal that wound as well.
The old pastor knew he had to be watching closely to catch the odd pained grimace or wince when Dean pushed himself too hard- which he most definitely had. He remembered when Mac had called him to tell him about the conversation he'd had with John Winchester several weeks before. He'd been worried the boy might have overheard them, though Dean refused to say.
'Hunting is all he has left. He'll hunt again.' A cold, hard, cruelly delivered sentiment that had proven to be prophetic. They'd all begged the boy to slow down, to take the time to heal. Caleb especially had been extremely vocal on the subject, even going so far as to threaten to call Sam. Dean hadn't listened to any of them.
Jim knew without looking that the younger hunter's shadow would be learning against the barn wall, watching them both. After John's unfortunate visit, Caleb had attached himself to their patient. An ever vigilant protector, ready to battle the fiercest of Dean's nightmares. He had to applaud the effort, though it made him more convinced that more than words had been overheard.
"Jim!" Dean called out, surprised. He hadn't noticed the pastor waiting for him and flushed guiltily. "How long have you been here?"
"Long enough, but not so long as I was willing to wait."
"Right. Of course. My bad," Dean chuckled over the characteristic reply. He accepted the old magician's help out of the boat, his bad knee still a little unsteady. "What's up?"
"Have you recovered well here, Dean?"
Dean screwed up his face, confused, but was willing, as always, to indulge the man. "Of course I have. Mac says it's one of those miracles you love so much that my knee is as good as it is."
"Does it still pain you?"
Constantly. But he wasn't about to admit it. A glance toward the barn showed him Caleb was far enough away not to call his bluff. "Not much." He moved forward a few steps, happy that it promoted a slow walk around the pond. His knee could stiffen up on him after being still for a while.
"You've always been a terrible liar," Jim pointed out gently.
Dean laughed. "But you still keep asking. Just which one of us is screwed up?"
Jim chuckled, nodding his head. "Point and match to you, my boy."
Dean glanced back to the barn, noting Caleb was still there. "I see you've put a leash on my guard dog. You want to just come out and tell me what this is all about?"
Jim frowned. "We only want what's best for you, Dean. You saved Caleb's life and in return could have lost everything. We all know there are worse things than death out there. If your knee hadn't-"
"But it did. So you should all stop watching me like I'm going to collapse any minute. And Damien should dump the guilt," Dean interrupted. "I appreciate the concern, really, I do, but I'm not fragile and I wish everyone would stop treating me like I was."
"What would you have done if it hadn't?" Jim asked, genuinely curious.
Dean looked up at the sun, then met the pastor's knowing eyes. "I've spent months working hard enough to never have to answer that question, Jim." But he had. He had thought long and hard on it. The answer had near about killed him. There was nothing else for him to do. His father had been right. It was all he had. All he was.
Jim nodded, not believing but accepting. "Sometimes I think about what I would have done had fate forged a different path than this."
"Do you regret it?"
"No. In fact, the few times I find my mind wandering to such thoughts, usually when dealing with your father, I feel a great mourning for what I would have lost. But I was driven here. I wasn't born into the life, not like you three boys."
Dean sighed and stopped. "So that's what this is about. Dad's back." He knew it had to happen eventually.
"Do you ever wish your life had turned out differently?" Jim ignored Dean's astute interpretation of his musings.
Dean couldn't meet the older man's eyes. "If you want me to be brutally honest, Jim, then no, I don't. Not because there aren't things in my life that I wouldn't want to change, but because there is no way to change them. This is my life. Wishing for something different isn't going to change anything, it's just going to tear me apart." Like it tore Sammy and Dad apart, was left unsaid but heard nonetheless. "And the way I see it, Merlin, is that it could have turned out a hell of a lot worse."
Jim wondered what it said about them, about the adults in Dean's life, that this young boy had already learned one of the hardest lessons life had to offer. It sent a surge of pride through the Guardian, a sense of hope for their future, but left a pang in the heart of a doting uncle. "And the future?"
"Is one day away from being the past. It'll come no matter what, no one is going to stop and ask our opinions on it. Some of us will live to see it, some of us won't. It's the way the game is played that counts."
Jim sighed. "You're too young to be so wise, Little Rabbit."
Dean hated to see his friend look so sad. "Ah, but I've been made Real, Skin Horse. As long as there's that, everything else can be negotiated." He winked. "Now tell me what's going on. My personal flea bag is starting to yank his chain."
Jim glanced back toward the barn to find Caleb was now pacing. "You were right. Your father will be here in the morning. He expects to leave tomorrow night."
"With me in tow."
Jim nodded. "Only if you're ready to go. I can issue a Guardian mandate, if need be."
"I'm ready. I've sat around long enough. It's time to get back to work. Damien needs to get back his life, and Mackland has already spent too much time with me as it is. You have a church and farm to run."
"It is time gladly spent, Dean, don't ever forget that."
Dean looked down at his boots. "I know. And I can't say enough how grateful I am to all of you. This would have been so much harder without you. I owe you one."
"Despite your father's opinion, Dean, family is never about debt."
Dean shrugged. "But it is, isn't it? Blood is binding, tells us we owe something to someone else who shares a part of us. Unconditional love? It's just one unending debt of loyalty. In loving someone we give them a part of our soul. The fact that it goes both ways just doubles the debt. In forgiving them we force them to forgive us in return."
Jim frowned, running a hand over his mouth while he thought how to answer the logic being presented to him. "I like to think of it as more entrusting another with ourselves. That in protecting them, we are, in fact, protecting ourselves."
"Sounds a little selfish, if you ask me."
Jim laughed. "I guess it does, when you think about it. I'm going to miss these talks."
Dean forced a smile. "Me too." Because Jim was the only one he could talk to like this. It was fun and relaxing to talk philosophy with the pastor. It was rare to be allowed to share some of his deeper thoughts. To have them not only considered, but respected. He wondered if his readiness to return to hunting had more to do with the debt he owed his family, or if he was wary of getting comfortable where he was. He loved the farm, no doubt about it, but he was very aware it was as much of a trap as a haven for him.
"We'd best get back. It's fried chicken and apple pie tonight."
Dean grinned, patting his muscular stomach. "I could go for that, though I think I've gotten spoiled."
Jim smiled. "Sometimes it's as much about healing the soul as it is the body."
Dean stopped, turning to face his friend once more. "It's all healing, Jim, I promise." He turned and walked back to the house by himself.
Jim watched him go, saw Caleb move away from the barn in hot pursuit, saw Mac step back into the house from where he'd been watching from the porch. Debt or no, this was his family, and it was slowly being brought back together.
"That it is, my boy. That it is."
